Shows / Dad Starting Over
Dad Starting Over
Welcome to the Dad Starting Over podcast! "Starting Over" means different things to different people. It could be that you're newly divorced and starting over fresh with a new life. It could be that you're still married and wanting to hit the reset button and finally do things right within your marriage. Whatever your story may be, you're in the right place. I'm Ralph, a.k.a DSO, the author of books including "The Dead Bedroom Fix", "Divorce Panic", "Real Talk" "Red Flags" and "REBUILD: The…
Episodes
Dad Starting OverWhy Your Wife Went Cold: The Safety Men Were Never Taught | Adam Lane Smith
Adam Lane Smith says most wives don't go cold because they stopped caring. He says they go cold because their husbands never learned to give them emotional…
Dad Starting OverSexless Marriage - The Only Time She Wants Me Is When She Wants a Baby
A guy wrote to me last week with something he says he's never told another human being. Fourteen months without sex. He stopped asking back in February, not as…
Dad Starting OverSexless Marriage… "I've Told Her It's a Deal Breaker" 100 Times | Marni Kinrys LIVE
Marni Kinrys has spent more than 23 years coaching men from the female perspective. She's The Wing Girl, and she says something most women won't say on camera…
Dad Starting OverSexless Marriage: She Was the Sexual One for 20 Years. Then Perimenopause Hit.
A follower — I'll call him Grant — wrote to me three weeks after a coworker handed him her hotel room number on a business trip. He said no. He also told me it…
Dad Starting OverSexless Marriage? Infidelity? Divorce? - It Wasn't All Your Fault
A follower sent me an email about his divorce. Seventeen years, two kids, final fourteen months ago. He keeps a note on his phone called "What I Did"…
Dad Starting OverHigh-Conflict Divorce: How to Stop Feeding the Fire
Stuck in a divorce or custody fight that never seems to end? Brook Olsen has spent 25 years helping parents get out of high-conflict divorces, and his main…
Dad Starting OverSexless Marriage Inevitable? She Sold Her "Hot Girl" Clothes
A woman posted that her husband was "visibly and audibly sad" watching her sell off her pre-baby hot girl clothes. She thought it was funny. The internet piled…
Dad Starting OverThe Dead Bedroom: What Women Aren't Taught (and Men Misread) - Live With Cassie
Why does the passion fade after the wedding, the kids, or perimenopause, and what can you actually do about it? I sit down with Cassie, a pediatric…
Dad Starting OverSexless Marriage... She Got Happier The Moment I Gave Up
You stopped trying. You stopped reaching for her. And instead of the marriage cracking, she got happier. Lighter. Relieved. Just not with you. If your wife…
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Why a Sexless Marriage Destroys an ADHD Man Faster Than Anyone Else
It's 9:40 at night. You texted her about the weekend. She wrote back one word: "Sure." Three months ago that would have gotten you four paragraphs and a voice…
- Dad Starting Over
Sexless Marriage… Why Her "Duty Sex" Is Destroying Your Self-Esteem
She still sleeps with you… so why do you feel more alone than ever? In this video we go after one of the most damaging traps in a sexless marriage: duty sex…
- Dad Starting Over
Sexless Marriage… She Says the Experts Agree With Her, Not You
She told you the experts agree. That the healthiest couples stop having sex. That wanting your own wife makes you the problem. In this video I break down the…
- Dad Starting Over
Sexless Marriage... "She's Just Stressed" Is Often the Biggest Lie
"She's just stressed." The kids, the job, her mom, the move. You've been telling yourself that for seven years. Real stress comes and goes. The deadline…
- Dad Starting Over
How ADHD Can Impact Your Relationships - Live Chat with Cassie
Cassie is back. She's an occupational therapist who works with neurodiverse kids, she lectures at the college level, she'll have her PhD next May, and she has…
- Dad Starting Over
Sexless Marriage… She Said She'd Rather Get a Divorce Than Have Sex With Me Again
She didn't say she was tired. She didn't say "not tonight." She said she'd rather end the whole marriage than be physical with you again. And now you can't…
- Dad Starting Over
"I Didn't Have A Self" | An Avoidant Wife Explains What Broke
Kate is the admittedly avoidant partner to Tyler Ely, the anxious partner I had on a previous live stream. Tyler read The Dead Bedroom Fix, backed off, and…
- Dad Starting Over
Sexless Marriage… She Says She Doesn't Feel "Safe" With You
She told you she needs to feel "safe" before she can want you again. So you did the logical thing. You got softer. Gentler. More patient. More accommodating…
- Dad Starting Over
Sexless Marriage... How Long Will You Wait For Her To Change?
He told himself the same thing for eleven years. Just hold on until the kids are grown, then we'll reconnect. The empty nest came. Nothing changed. In this one…
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She Wasn't Born Cold: Where Your Wife's Avoidance Really Comes From | Ralph & Cassie.
New series, new co-host. Cassie (https://x.com/FutureDrSassy) is an occupational therapist, a researcher, and a certified pelvic floor therapist — and starting…
- Dad Starting Over
Sexless Marriage… She Told Me To "Get It Somewhere Else" — Then Got Mad When I Started Looking
His wife said it five or six times over the course of a year. "If you need it that bad, just go find it somewhere else." He sat her down one night and asked…
- Dad Starting Over
Why Women Emasculate Men — and Why You Must NEVER Cave | Alison Armstrong Interview
Alison Armstrong has been studying men since 1991, when she caught herself bringing out the worst in them and assuming that's who men really were. Thirty-five…
- Dad Starting Over
Sexless Marriage... So I Stopped Initiating. She Didn't Notice.
He stopped initiating six months ago. He told himself it was a test. He waited for her to notice. She never did. In this episode I break down what's actually…
- Dad Starting Over
"I Love You. I Just Can't Be What You Need." | A Live Chat with Attachment Expert Cassie N.
What if she already loves you as much as she is capable of loving anybody? And it's still not enough for you. Not because she's cruel. Not because she's…
- Dad Starting Over
Chat LIVE with Ralph & Laura How: Attachment, Monogamy & Why Nobody Grows Up Anymore
A full hour LIVE with therapist and author Laura How — one of the very few women publicly saying what she says about sexless marriages. So few, in fact, that…
- Dad Starting Over
Sexless Marriage: She Takes Care of Herself But Won't Touch Me
He came home early from a work trip. Didn't text ahead. Walked in and found out the truth. His wife doesn't have a desire problem. The desire works fine. He's…
- Dad Starting Over
Taking Your Dead Bedroom Questions LIVE: 10-Year Droughts, Avoidant Wives & Why Ultimatums Work
Here is a recording of impromptu live stream I recently did. No script, no agenda, just me and the chat. And as usual, the unscheduled ones end up being the…
- Dad Starting Over
She Called Me a Narcissist for Leaving. Was She Right?
A man divorces his wife after two years of zero affection post-menopause. He starts dating again, shares his story with a woman he's seeing, and she calls him…
- Dad Starting Over
Sexless Marriage... She Stopped Hugging Me Too
She stopped hugging you. She doesn't hold your hand. She shifts away on the couch without even thinking about it. You tell yourself it's just a sex problem…
- Dad Starting Over
Sexless Marriage… She Cried and Said She Didn't Want to Lose Us. Two Weeks Later Nothing Changed.
Brian finally had the conversation. Sat his wife down, told her the truth — the distance, the loneliness, how much he missed her. She cried. She said she was…
- Dad Starting Over
Sexless Marriage… She Finally Agreed to Counseling. Then Used It Against Me.
Tom finally got his wife to agree to couples counseling. He was hopeful for the first time in months. He thought they were finally going to address the real…
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Divorce Truths Men Need to Hear (Before It’s Too Late) - With Karen McMahon (Journey Beyond Divorce)
I went live with divorce coach Karen McMahon from Journey Beyond Divorce (https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com) and this turned into one of the most honest…
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Sexless Marriage… She Says No Sex After Menopause Is Completely Normal
A guy named Paul wrote in. His wife went through menopause three years ago. Since then — almost no sex. And every time he brings it up, she shows him articles…
- Dad Starting Over
She Was Different Before Kids — What Actually Happened to Your Wife
Your wife changed after kids. You've felt it for years — the distance, the exhaustion, the version of her you remember from before that seems gone. She's not…
- Dad Starting Over
Sexless Marriage… I Told Her It Was Over If Nothing Changed. She Laughed.
Three years of a sexless marriage. He finally told her it was over if nothing changed. She laughed — then went back to watching TV. Four days later she's…
- Dad Starting Over
Sexless Marriage… Now She’s Always Going Out
A guy sent me an email that starts off like a lot of others… Sexless marriage. No intimacy. Growing distance. But then something changed. His wife started…
- Dad Starting Over
Sexless Marriage: She Was Different With Him
A guy emailed me something that a lot of men are quietly thinking but don’t want to say out loud… “My wife used to be wild before me. Now she barely wants…
- Dad Starting Over
Sexless Marriage… Wait, is My Wife Gay?!
A guy reached out to me after 15 years of marriage and a completely dead bedroom. No intimacy. No desire. Nothing. Then one day, he finds out his wife is…
- Dad Starting Over
Sexless Marriage… Then I Saw the Text Messages
A husband wrote to me after 16 years of marriage. Their sex life had slowly faded until they were barely intimate at all. Then he noticed something strange…
- Dad Starting Over
Why Women Remember Everything
Have you ever noticed how your wife or girlfriend can recall arguments from 10… 15… even 20 years ago with incredible detail? Not just the event itself. The…
- Dad Starting Over
Sexless Marriage… Now She Wants an Open Marriage
A husband wrote to me after 18 years of marriage. Their sex life had slowed down like many long relationships. Then one day his wife said something he never…
- Dad Starting Over
Sexless Marriage for Years… Now She Doesn’t Want to Be Touched
A 50-year-old husband wrote me after 20 years of marriage. The sex faded after kids. Intimacy disappeared. Now his wife says she doesn’t want to be touched at…
- Dad Starting Over
Patriarchy Explained Without the Nonsense
Everyone throws around the word “patriarchy” like it explains everything wrong with society. But what does it actually mean? In this video, I break down: –…
- Dad Starting Over
Sexless Marriage: “I Love You… But I’m Not In Love With You”
A 47-year-old husband wrote to me after 17 years of marriage. No big fights. No confirmed cheating. Just slow emotional drift. Then one day she said: “I love…
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High-Conflict Divorce: What Men Get Wrong (w/ Chris and Lisa from "Been There, Got Out")
Divorce isn’t just emotional — it can turn into psychological warfare. In this livestream, I sit down with Chris and Lisa from Been There Got Out, two of the…
- Dad Starting Over
When Trauma Destroys Everything
How does someone hold their life together at a high level for years — career, marriage, kids — and then suddenly blow it all up? I read a message from a…
- Dad Starting Over
Why Marriages Drift Into “Kids Only” Mode
Most marriages don’t blow up overnight. They drift. They drift from us… to the family… and eventually to two exhausted roommates running a daycare. Once kids…
- Dad Starting Over
Why Age Gaps Suddenly Became Creepy
For most of human history, age differences in couples weren’t controversial at all. Now they’re treated like a moral crisis. So what changed? I break down the…
- Dad Starting Over
When Vulnerability Ends a Marriage
I got an email from a guy that perfectly captures a pattern I see over and over again. An anxious man. An avoidant wife. Years of emotional distance. One final…
- Dad Starting Over
How Men Drift Into Sexless Marriages
I want to read you a short email from a married man in a dead bedroom. There’s no cheating. No screaming fights. No dramatic collapse. Just a quiet decision to…
- Dad Starting Over
The Real Reason Nothing You Try Ever Sticks
Most men don’t feel like their life is falling apart. It just feels… off. Not bad enough to force change. Not good enough to feel proud of. So they try new…
- Dad Starting Over
Why Doing Everything Right Fails
A lot of men reach a point where they say something quietly and honestly: “I did everything right… and it still fell apart.” I hear this all the time from men…
- Dad Starting Over
Why Your Marriage Became Sexless
Most men in sexless marriages did exactly what they were told to do. They opened up more. They communicated better. They became more emotionally available…
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Why Men Believe Women Cheat More
A lot of men end up believing things like “women cheat more,” “women want sex more than men,” or “most women cheat”. Those beliefs don’t usually come from…
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My Live Chat with Melissa Vogel
In this episode, I sit down with Melissa Vogel — fitness and mindset coach, podcast host, and a woman who’s been through divorce herself — for one of the most…
- Dad Starting Over
Typical "Nice Guy" Behavior
A lot of men don’t realize they’re codependent. They just think they’re being “good husbands,” “nice guys,” or “doing the right thing.” I break down the real…
- Dad Starting Over
Your Avoidant Wife Had an Affair (Here’s Why)
For an anxious guy, nothing is more confusing than discovering that your avoidant, seemingly asexual wife was having an affair. No touching. No sex. Years of…
- Dad Starting Over
She Says She’s “Touched Out”… Except With Him
In today’s episode, I read an email from a husband living one of the most brutal modern realities: his wife says she’s “touched out” and has no energy for…
- Dad Starting Over
The Care & Feeding of Your Anxious Husband
Today we’re talking about something that a lot of men won’t admit, but a lot of women quietly suffer through: living with an anxious husband. And yes, I’m…
- Dad Starting Over
Rejection Sensitivity: Why You Overthink Everything
Rejection hits some men harder than others. For a lot of guys, it’s not just discomfort—it feels like danger. One cold look from your wife. One delayed text…
- Dad Starting Over
It’s Not Fair — I Did Everything Right!
A lot of men struggle with the realization that they don’t actually have full control over how life or their marriage turns out. You can do everything…