Shows / Dad Starting Over
Dad Starting Over
Welcome to the Dad Starting Over podcast! "Starting Over" means different things to different people. It could be that you're newly divorced and starting over fresh with a new life. It could be that you're still married and wanting to hit the reset button and finally do things right within your marriage. Whatever your story may be, you're in the right place. I'm Ralph, a.k.a DSO, the author of books including "The Dead Bedroom Fix", "Divorce Panic", "Real Talk" "Red Flags" and "REBUILD: The…
Episodes
- Dad Starting Over
REBUILD is now available in audiobook format! (here's a free sample)
"REBUILD: The Complete Guide to Starting Over as a Man" is now available in audiobook format! Here is a quick sample for you to enjoy. Want to hear more? Check…
- Dad Starting Over
Why Women Had More Sex Under Socialism
I recently read a New York Times article claiming that women under socialism had more sex and better orgasms than women in capitalist Western countries. Sounds…
- Dad Starting Over
Stop Forcing Closeness – How Anxious Men Kill Intimacy
If you lean anxious in relationships, this one’s for you. I see it all the time—guys who crave closeness so much that they choke the relationship. You text too…
- Dad Starting Over
Andrew Wilson’s Meltdown Caught Live
Today we’re digging into something wild: how a guy who talks about masculinity, strength, and “doing it right” completely lost his cool when his own story was…
- Dad Starting Over
Why You Feel So Needy (And How to Stop)
Let’s talk about neediness — what it really is, where it comes from, and how to stop letting it ruin your relationships. Neediness isn’t about “having needs.”…
- Dad Starting Over
Man Discovers Wife’s Affair Years Later — What Now?
Infidelity doesn’t just destroy trust in the present — it rewrites your past and makes you question everything you thought was real. In this video, I respond…
- Dad Starting Over
The One Thing Everyone Misses About Dead Bedrooms
Most guys in sexless marriages miss the most important piece of the puzzle. They think if they just get their wife to “want it” again, everything will go back…
- Dad Starting Over
When Your Wife Changes After the Baby: Why So Many Men Fall Apart
In this episode, I dive into one of the hardest truths many men face after becoming fathers: the woman you married may not be the same woman after the baby…
- Dad Starting Over
REBUILD – The Beginning of a New Chapter
In this special episode, I read the introduction to my latest book, REBUILD: The Complete Guide to Starting Over as a Man. This book is the culmination of over…
- Dad Starting Over
The White Knight Who Couldn’t Stop Saving Women
Some men can’t stop trying to “save” broken women. They think it’s love. They think it’s noble. But it’s an addiction — a way of escaping their own pain. In…
- Dad Starting Over
Stop Blaming the Affair Partner — She Made the Choice
A lot of men direct all their anger toward the other guy — the affair partner — when they find out their wife cheated. I get it. It feels easier to hate the…
- Dad Starting Over
John’s Breaking Point: Why Some Men Stay in Miserable Marriages
In today’s Dear DSO episode, I read a letter from a guy I’ll call John. He’s reached the end of his rope. His wife drinks heavily, refuses therapy, hasn’t been…
- Dad Starting Over
When Chaos at Home Turns You Into Someone You Don’t Recognize
In this episode, I share a powerful story from a listener who has lived through 17 years of marital chaos. On paper, he’s a hardworking, successful man—a…
- Dad Starting Over
When She Denies the Affair and Calls You “Insecure”
In this episode, I respond to a listener email from a man who caught his wife sneaking around with ‘just a friend.’ Even when confronted, she flips it on him…
- Dad Starting Over
When a Wife Walks Away After 30 Years: Midlife Crisis, Perimenopause, or Something Else?
In this episode, I respond to a listener email from a man whose wife left him after 33 years of marriage. She had an affair, moved 2,000 miles away, and says…
- Dad Starting Over
“30 Years Married… But Now Just Roommates”
A man wrote in after 30+ years of marriage. Three kids, a successful career, a busy and interesting life—he’s fit, adventurous, and still chasing growth at 61…
- Dad Starting Over
“I Have It All… But My Wife Doesn’t Want Me”
I got a “Dear DSO” email from a guy who, on paper, checks every single box: tall, fit, wealthy, educated, successful, funny, a family man… and yet, his wife…
- Dad Starting Over
Are You ADHD? Why Your Brain Is a Dumpster Fire (And Your Wife’s Had It)
Most of the guys who find their way to my videos have two things in common: their relationship is falling apart… and their brain feels like a blender stuck on…
- Dad Starting Over
"She Slept With Me… So I Guess We’re Fine Now?"
A guy books an emergency coaching call. Says his marriage is hanging by a thread. He's sleeping in the guest room. She won’t talk to him. Full panic mode. Then…
- Dad Starting Over
Why You Can’t Stop Thinking About Her (Even Though It’s Over)
You ever catch yourself stuck in a mental loop? Replaying the breakup, the betrayal, the one thing she said that cut deep? That’s rumination — and it’s not…
- Dad Starting Over
"My Husband Cheated with 100 Sex Workers… While I Begged for Intimacy"
This letter hit hard. A woman writes in to share her story: 20 years of marriage. Zero sex. She thought he had a medical issue. Turns out, he was sleeping with…
- Dad Starting Over
Retroactive Jealousy: Why Her Past Haunts You (And How to Stop Obsessing)
Men ask me all the time: “Why can’t I stop thinking about her past?” You know she had a life before you… but that doesn’t stop your brain from obsessing over…
- Dad Starting Over
Why Therapists Focus on You (Not Your Avoidant Wife)
Why does it feel like the therapist is always on your case, even when your wife is the one shutting down emotionally? In this video, I explain why anxious…
- Dad Starting Over
Why So Many Men Are Lonely (And Won’t Admit It)
A lot of men joke about single women dying alone with 12 cats... but here’s the truth: that’s projection. Men are facing a loneliness crisis. We isolate…
- Dad Starting Over
Why So Many Men Are Secretly Controlled by Shame (Especially Around Sex)
Most men carry shame. But they don’t talk about it—especially when it comes to sex. They were raised to be "good boys," "nice guys," and "respectful…
- Dad Starting Over
Dating After Divorce: What No One Tells You About the New Rules
Dating after divorce is a minefield—and if you haven't been single since your twenties, you're stepping into a completely different world. In this video, I…
- Dad Starting Over
The Truth About the Honeymoon Stage (and Why It Always Fades)
Every man has felt it—that wild rush of lust, energy, and connection in the beginning of a relationship. You can’t stop thinking about her. You’re having sex…
- Dad Starting Over
“My Military Wife Checked Out of the Marriage After SSRIs & Kids”
In this Dear DSO, a military husband opens up about his wife emotionally and physically checking out of their marriage. After three kids, mood swings, and now…
- Dad Starting Over
“He Forgot Our Anniversary… Again. Should I Finally Leave?”
A 65-year-old woman wrote in with a gut-wrenching story. After 42 years of being married to a man who never listens, never remembers their anniversary, and…
- Dad Starting Over
Anxious & Passive: Why You're Stuck in a Sexless Marriage
In this Dear DSO submission, a man reaches out from the middle of an eight-year sexless marriage. He’s passive, anxious, and paralyzed by confusion—and he’s…
- Dad Starting Over
“My Wife Calmly Told Me She’s Not Attracted to Me Anymore” – What That REALLY Means
Seventeen years of marriage. Three kids. Nice house. Dead bedroom for almost a decade. Then, during an argument, she looks him in the eye and says the words…
- Dad Starting Over
Why Women Really Cheat (Dual Mating Strategy Explained)
Why do so many women in long-term relationships cheat—and often with men who seem like total losers? In this video, I break down the science behind two popular…
- Dad Starting Over
"When Is It Time to Walk Away from Your Marriage?"
So many men ask me the same question: "How do I know when I've done enough?" They’ve put in the work. They’ve read the books. They’ve hit the gym, led with…
- Dad Starting Over
"My Wife Said I Was Her 'Safe Choice' – Now What?"
A husband finds out—after 12 years of marriage and two kids—that he was never his wife's first choice. After a night of drinks and a fight, she admitted she…
- Dad Starting Over
When She Tells You Who She Is... Listen
In this Dear DSO episode, I respond to a man who saw the signs early on—but kept going. She told him who she was from the beginning. The problem? He didn’t…
- Dad Starting Over
ADHD, Shame, and Approaching Women: Real Talk for Neurodivergent Men
Today’s Dear DSO submission is from a neurodivergent man—he’s got ADHD, a lot of anxiety, and not much dating experience. He feels like he’s defective, like…
- Dad Starting Over
Why Your Wife Changed Overnight: The Hidden Truth About Menopause and Marriage
Most men don’t see it coming—until their marriage is on life support. One day she’s your best friend and lover… the next, she’s distant, irritable, and…
- Dad Starting Over
"I Married a Woman Who Refused Sex for Two Years… What Was I Thinking?"
This one’s brutal. A 36-year-old man marries a 49-year-old woman who insisted they wait until marriage for sex. Two years in, he’s still never touched her. No…
- Dad Starting Over
"She Kept a Log to Avoid Sex With Me — What Did I Do Wrong?"
Mr. K wrote in with a story that’s, sadly, all too familiar. He blames himself for a relationship that was dysfunctional from day one. She showed no…
- Dad Starting Over
“Why Autistic Men Attract Toxic Women”
Have you ever looked back at a relationship and thought, “What the hell was that?” You were loyal. Honest. Steady. She was chaos. This happens all the time to…
- Dad Starting Over
"SSRIs Killed Her Sex Drive – What Do I Do?"
In this Dear DSO submission, Richie asks a brutally honest question: What do you do when your wife is on SSRIs, has no sex drive, and has basically shut down…
- Dad Starting Over
The Final Talk: Should You End a Sexless Marriage?
In this episode of Dear DSO, a man named Mark writes in about the pain of being stuck in a long-term, sexless marriage. He’s done the work—therapy…
- Dad Starting Over
Is She Avoidant... or Just Not That Into You?
I hear from a lot of men who fall hard for a woman… and then she starts pulling away. Hot one minute, cold the next. Is it an avoidant attachment style—or is…
- Dad Starting Over
"Worried About My Adult Kids Stuck With a Toxic Mom"
In this Dear DSO episode, we tackle Holden’s powerful story: ✅ A 22-year marriage, wrecked by infidelity ✅ A toxic ex dragging their adult kids down ✅ A father…
- Dad Starting Over
Why She Hasn’t Touched You in 8 Years (And Why Chores Won’t Fix It)
In this episode of Dear DSO, I tackle Dave’s story — he’s been married 13 years, but for the last eight, the bedroom has been dead. Less than 10 times a year…
- Dad Starting Over
“Am I a Sex Maniac… or Just a Normal Guy?”
Is it wrong to want more sex in your marriage? What if your wife thinks you're a pervert for having a normal male sex drive? In this episode of Dear DSO, I…
- Dad Starting Over
Will a Vasectomy Kill Her Desire for You?
In this Dear DSO episode, we’re diving into a common and surprisingly emotional question: "If I get a vasectomy, will my wife still want me?" This one came…
- Dad Starting Over
Post-Divorce Midlife Crisis: Should You Hit the Road or Stay Safe?
In this “Dear DSO” episode, I respond to a story from John—a newly separated man wondering if it’s time to ditch the 9-to-5 life, buy a van, and find himself…
- Dad Starting Over
"I Caught Her Messaging Another Man… So I Ended It. Was I Wrong?"
In this Dear DSO submission, a follower named John reached out to share his story. He was in a long-distance relationship, had clear boundaries about contact…
- Dad Starting Over
“30 Years in a Dead Bedroom… Then She Finally Told Me Why” - Live Chat With Michael
Michael reached out to me with a story I hear way too often. Thirty years of a sexless marriage, confusion, shame, guilt — and then, one day, his wife finally…
- Dad Starting Over
“We Divorced, Remarried… Now She Wants to Date Again?”
In today’s Dear DSO, I respond to a heartbreaking story from a 39-year-old Army Special Ops veteran who's been through the wringer—divorce, remarriage…
- Dad Starting Over
“Depressed About Marriage… Is It Even Worth It Anymore?”
In this episode of Dear DSO, I respond to a letter from Jerome—a man who’s feeling disillusioned and depressed about relationships and marriage. After a…
- Dad Starting Over
How Nice Guys Sabotage Their Relationships | Dr. Robert Glover (No More Mr. Nice Guy)
In this live conversation, I sit down with Dr. Robert Glover, author of No More Mr. Nice Guy, to talk about the psychology of the modern man—especially the…
- Dad Starting Over
Comfort Kills Desire? The Erotic Cost of Feeling Safe in Marriage
We all crave emotional safety and stability in our long-term relationships… But what if that very safety is what slowly smothers erotic desire? In this…
- Dad Starting Over
“We’re Just Dating… And Already in a Dead Bedroom?”
Brendan’s been dating his girlfriend for three years — and the sex is already slowing to a crawl. He’s worried this is setting the tone for a future marriage…
- Dad Starting Over
"How Do I Convince My Older Wife to Want Sex Again?"
Ramius has been married for 47 years. In his 70s, he’s gotten healthy, got his testosterone up, and wants to stay sexually and emotionally connected to his…
- Dad Starting Over
“Sexless Since Baby #1… And She Threatens Suicide If I Leave”
Keith has been married six years. No sex since baby #1. Volatile arguments. Threats of suicide. Police visits. And yet — he's afraid to leave. This is the…
- Dad Starting Over
“She Had an Affair, Still Won’t Touch Me… But Gets Jealous?”
Ross is in a marriage where intimacy is dead, but the jealousy is alive and well. Despite his massive physical transformation and emotional growth, his wife…
- Dad Starting Over
"My Wife Turned Into a MomBot — What Happened to Us?"
In this Dear DSO submission, a husband shares his frustration: after two kids, his wife seems to have completely disappeared into motherhood. Once bubbly and…
- Dad Starting Over
“We Divorced, Remarried… Now She Wants to Date Again?”
Ned is a Special Ops vet whose marriage has seen it all — deployment, infidelity, gaslighting, emotional chaos… and now his wife wants to “separate, date…