Shows / Just Listen To Me
Just Listen To Me
🎙️ New episodes every Tuesday and ThursdayWelcome to the place where love stops performing and starts telling the truth.I’m a couples counsellor who works with the real moments of relationships — the disconnection, the misunderstandings, and the deep longing to feel safe and chosen. Using an emotionally focused couples therapy lens, I break down attachment patterns, communication breakdowns, and the cycles that keep couples stuck.This podcast is for people who care deeply and want to understand…
Episodes
Just Listen To MeWhen One Partner Won't Engage: Now What?
What do you do when one partner simply won’t engage in couples therapy?They say “I don’t know” to every question. They shut down when emotions come up. They…
Just Listen To MeReactive Withdrawers: When Withdrawal Looks Like Anger
What if withdrawal doesn't look like withdrawal?When we think about a relationship withdrawer, we often picture someone who goes quiet, shuts down or walks…
Just Listen To MeAre Piper & Alex A Trauma Bond? Attachment Lessons from Orange Is the New Black
If you've watched Orange Is the New Black, you probably have a complicated relationship with Piper and Alex's relationship.They love each other deeply. They…
Just Listen To MePornography: When Fantasy Becomes an Attachment Substitute
What happens when pornography becomes more than sexual stimulation — when it begins to function as a substitute for emotional connection?In this episode, we…
Just Listen To MeBeneath the Surface: Jungian Psychology and Attachment
What if the answers to our relationship patterns lie beneath the surface of our conscious awareness?In this special therapist interview, I'm joined by Linda…
Just Listen To MeWhen the Pursuer Gives Up: Understanding Pursuer Burnout
Is silence always a sign that things are getting better?Sometimes, it's a sign that the person who has been fighting the hardest has simply run out of hope.In…
Just Listen To MeWhat Makes Us Human? Attachment Lessons from Resident Alien
What makes us human?As a couples therapist, I spend every day thinking about the relationships that shape us. But one of the most profound explorations of…
Just Listen To MeWhy We Stay In Situationships: The Attachment Perspective
Why do so many intelligent, self-aware people stay in situationships that leave them feeling confused, anxious and emotionally exhausted?In this episode of…
Just Listen To MeThe Biggest Mistake Couples Therapists Make: Treating Content Instead of Process
Most couples don't come to therapy because they can't solve a disagreement.They come because they keep having the same disagreement over and over again.In this…
Just Listen To MeWeaponised Generational Trauma: When Pain Prevents Change
We've become much better at talking about trauma—and that's an important thing.But what happens when our trauma stops being something we heal... and starts…
Just Listen To MeTexting Anxiety in Relationships: The Real Issue
Have you ever found yourself staring at your phone, wondering why your partner hasn't replied?Maybe you've sent a simple message and, as the minutes turn into…
Just Listen To MeIt's Your Fault: Why We Blame Our Partner in Our Relationship
Most couples believe they've identified the problem. Their partner.After years of arguments, hurt feelings, and repeated disappointments, it's easy to become…
Just Listen To MeGenerational Trauma: When the Past Lives in Our Relationships
Sometimes the patterns we carry in relationships didn’t begin with us.The way we respond to conflict.The way we express emotions.The way we reach for…
Just Listen To MeWhen Couples Therapy Isn't Safe: Recognising Coercive Control in the Therapy Room
Not all relationship distress is the same. As therapists, we are often trained to look beneath behaviour — to understand attachment wounds, protective…
Just Listen To MeCoercive Control: The Abuse That Doesn't Leave Bruises
Coercive control is one of the most misunderstood forms of abuse — partly because it often doesn't look like what people expect abuse to look like.It doesn't…
Just Listen To MeAutism in Relationships: When Love Speaks Different Languages
Season 3 begins with a conversation about understanding.In this episode of Just Listen to Me, Julia explores autism in relationships through the lens of…
Just Listen To MeWhen Addiction Enters the Relationship: Trust, Betrayal and Attachment Wounds
Addiction rarely affects just one person.Whether it's alcohol, drugs, gambling, pornography, compulsive sexual behaviour, or other addictive patterns…
Just Listen To MeWhy Love Feels Hard When the Nervous System Is Struggling
Mental health can profoundly impact relationships — affecting communication, intimacy, emotional safety, conflict, and connection itself.✨ Explore the growing…
Just Listen To MeWhat Safe Therapy Actually Feels Like
🎓 Julia’s new foundational online course:Not All Therapists Are Safe — How to Choose a Counsellor With Integrity is now officially live at the following…
Just Listen To MeNot All Therapy That Feels Powerful Is Emotionally Safe
🎓 Julia’s new foundational online course:Not All Therapists Are Safe — How to Choose a Counsellor With Integrity launches this…
Just Listen To MeWhy Trauma Bonds Happen: Attachment, Trauma & The Nervous System
Trauma bonds are often misunderstood as weakness, dependency, or an inability to “just leave.”But many trauma bonds are rooted much deeper than the…
Just Listen To MeTrauma Bonds: When Love and Fear Become Entangled
Why do some relationships feel impossible to leave… even when they are hurting us?In this episode of Just Listen to Me, we explore trauma bonds through the…
Just Listen To MeNot All Therapists Are Safe
Therapy can be one of the most vulnerable spaces a person ever enters.Which is why discernment matters.In this episode of Just Listen to Me, Julia explores an…
Just Listen To MeWhen ADHD Affects Love: Understanding the Imbalance
What if the problem in your relationship… isn’t a lack of love—but something you’ve never been taught to recognise?Why does love start to feel… uneven?In this…
Just Listen To MeHow to Choose a Couples Counsellor (And What Most People Miss)
Most couples choose a counsellor based on availability—but that decision can quietly shape the outcome of their entire relationship.Choosing a couples…
Just Listen To MeWhen He Chases: The Hidden Pain of Male Pursuers
We’ve been told a story about relationships.That women pursue… and men withdraw.That she reaches… and he shuts down.But what happens when that’s not true?What…
Just Listen To MeWhen Women Withdraw: The Pattern Nobody Talks About
We’ve been told a story about relationships…That women pursue.And men withdraw.But what happens when that’s not true?In this episode, we’re exploring a side of…
Just Listen To MeYou’re Not Too Much: The Truth About Pursuers in Relationships
Have you ever felt like you’re too much in your relationship?Like no matter how hard you try to connect… it still doesn’t feel like enough?In this episode of…
Just Listen To MeWhy They Pull Away (It’s Not What You Think)
Have you ever found yourself asking…“Why does my partner pull away when I need them the most?”It can feel confusing.It can feel painful.And at times… it can…
Just Listen To MeThe Pattern You Keep Repeating? It's Trying to Heal You
What if the pain you keep experiencing in your relationship…isn’t just a sign that something is wrong?What if it’s pointing you toward something that’s ready…
Just Listen To MeThe Relationship Pattern You Can't Escape
Have you ever felt like you keep ending up in the same relationship patterns… no matter who you’re with?In this special throwback episode, I’m sharing a…
Just Listen To MeThe Pattern Making You Both Feel Alone in Your Relationship
Why do some couples feel like they're constantly misreading each other in conflict?One partner shuts down.The other pushes harder.And both end up feeling…
Just Listen To MeYour Family System Is Sabotaging Your Relationships - Here's Why
In this episode of Just Listen to Me, we continue the conversation on family of origin wounds, exploring the deeper and more complex impact of childhood…
Just Listen To MeTime Doesn't Heal This Relationship Injury
Why do some relationship wounds seem to last for years — even decades?In this episode of Just Listen to Me, relationship therapist Julia Shay explores…
Just Listen To MeSexual Rejection Has Nothing to Do With Attraction
Sex is one of the most misunderstood parts of intimate relationships.When couples start struggling sexually, many assume something is fundamentally wrong with…
Just Listen To MeTrauma or Abuse? Why the Difference Saves Your Relationship
Not all painful relationships are abusive.But some are.In Part 3 of my Attachment Wounds series, we’re talking about abusive relationship dynamics — including…
Just Listen To MeThe Family Pattern Destroying Your Relationships
Why do certain arguments in relationships feel bigger than the moment?Why do small triggers activate deep fear, anger, or withdrawal?In this episode of Just…
Just Listen To MeHypervigilance After Infidelity: The Nervous System Trap You're Stuck In
Some attachment wounds don’t just hurt.They fracture the bond.In Part 2 of this series, I go deeper into the more traumatic attachment injuries that couples…
Just Listen To MeAttachment Wounds: The Pattern Underneath Your Pain
Some relationship pain isn’t about poor communication.It’s about rupture.In this episode, we’re talking about attachment wounds — what they are, how they…
Just Listen To MeThe Real Enemy Isn't Your Partner — It's This Pattern
Why does “Why won’t you just listen to me?” collide so painfully with “I just need some space”?In this episode, we slow down one of the most common — and most…
Just Listen To MeBreaking the Negative Cycle That Took Over Your Relationship
This episode is about one thing: secure attachment isn’t luck — it’s built.In this deeply personal and clinically grounded episode of Just Listen to Me, I…