Shows / Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
Psychotherapist Brian Granneman examines the patterns that keep people stuck — the ones that show up in relationships, conversations, habits, conflict, addiction, avoidance, and everyday decisions. Each episode breaks down the emotional, behavioral, and relational dynamics underneath those patterns through long-form, clinically informed conversations grounded in real life instead of performance, slogans, or surface-level advice.
Episodes
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
Why Should I Change When My Partner is the Problem?
Many couples get stuck arguing over who is right, who is responsible, and who needs to change. Over time, criticism, defensiveness, resentment, and withdrawal…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
Once the Fantasy Dies, the Relationship Can Finally Start
Falling in love involves idealization, projection, and expectations we may barely recognize. As relationships mature, disappointment emerges when the person we…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
Your Nervous System Isn’t an Excuse to Act Like an Asshole
Nervous system dysregulation can explain why conflict feels overwhelming, why your body goes into fight-or-flight, and why old relationship patterns can take…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
Offending from the Victim Position: Why Feeling Wronged Can Make You Act Worse
This episode looks at what happens when hurt becomes a relational stance—when a legitimate frustration starts giving us permission to lecture, control…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
The Dragon in Your House: How Families Learn to Tiptoe Around Addiction
This episode uses bibliotherapy and the children’s story There’s No Such Thing as a Dragon to explore how addiction can gradually reshape an entire family…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
What Porn Is Doing to Your Sex Drive and Relationship
Porn addiction and compulsive porn use can affect sexual desire, relationships, intimacy, and emotional regulation. This episode looks at how pornography can…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
What If I'm No Longer Attracted to My Spouse?
What happens when you still love your partner but no longer feel sexually attracted to them? Loss of desire in long-term relationships can involve pressure…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
My Problems Are Serious. Do I Need a Psychologist, Psychiatrist or Psychotherapist?
Therapist vs psychologist vs psychiatrist can get confusing quickly, especially when your mental health problems feel serious. The highest credential does not…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
Getting Sober Doesn’t Fix an Alcoholic Family
Getting sober can end the immediate chaos of alcoholism, but families often keep living with patterns that developed during the drinking years. Secrecy…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
Monkey Mind: Why Your Thoughts Never Stop and What Actually Helps
This episode explores “monkey mind” — the constant mental chatter, racing thoughts, rehearsed conversations, future predictions, and overthinking that can make…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
Ozempic for Addiction? The Willpower Debate Just Got More Complicated
GLP-1 medications like semaglutide, Ozempic, Wegovy, Mounjaro, and Zepbound are best known for diabetes and weight loss, but researchers are increasingly…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
What My Pitbull Honey Taught Me About Addiction
What can a pitbull teach us about addiction, relapse, and recovery? This episode explores addiction through the story of Honey, a pitbull whose intense prey…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
You Can Leave—and Still Be Trapped | Trauma, Coercive Control & Recovery
What happens after someone leaves a high-control environment, but the fear, shame, isolation, and self-doubt remain? Trauma researcher and cult survivor Dr…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
When You Leave the Relationship Before You Actually Leave
Betrayal can begin long before the affair, secret message, or discovery that finally blows the relationship apart. Drawing from John Gottman’s The Science of…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
Why Knowing Your Relationship Pattern Doesn’t Stop It
Couples can know exactly how their arguments go and still feel powerless to stop them. This episode explores the negative cycle in Emotionally Focused Therapy…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
Why Your Partner Can Feel Miles Away Sitting Right Next to You
Recurring arguments about money, phones, sex, chores, and communication can carry a deeper fear about the security of the relationship. Couples may know…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
How Am I Supposed to Know What’s Real Now After the Betrayal?
After betrayal, the biggest question often becomes: How am I supposed to know what’s real now? An affair or major deception can destroy trust, but rebuilding…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
When Fighting for Fairness Starts Costing You: How Much of Your Life Does This Deserve?
What happens when fighting for fairness starts costing you more than the original problem? Anger, damaged trust, emotional regulation, competing values, and…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
Things We Stay In Because We’re Afraid to Leave
What keeps us in jobs, relationships, roles, or systems that have become unsustainable? We can know something is wearing us down and still be terrified to…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
Would You Still Be Angry If You Knew He Was Blind?
Rage becomes easier to justify when we assume another person fully understands the harm they are causing and chooses it anyway. The image of a blind man…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
A Time I Really Shit the Bed as a Therapist
A therapist can understand the clinical pattern and still screw up the timing. I learned that in a couples session involving addiction, secrecy, betrayal…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
“This Always Happens to Me”: Anatomy of a Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
A self-fulfilling prophecy happens when an expectation changes how we enter a situation, our behavior affects the other person, and their response becomes…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
Guest Kelly Jo: Acceptance When Life Gets Real — Recovery, Surrender, Presence, and Mortality
Kelly Jo and I met online during the pandemic, when recovery was a major part of both of our lives. In this conversation, she shares where alcoholism took her…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
Why You're Still Angry When It’s Already Over
Anger can be useful. It can mobilize us, help us recognize when something matters, and push us to protect ourselves, solve a problem, or set a boundary. But…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
The Reason You Keep Having the Same Fight With Your Partner
Why do relationships trigger reactions that feel much bigger than the immediate situation? This episode explores the Internal Family Systems concepts of…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
You Don’t Need Five More Minutes: Stop Before It Owns You
In Benedictine monasteries, the day was shaped by the bell. A monk could be reading, cooking, gardening, copying a manuscript, repairing something, or writing…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
When the Label Becomes Your Identity: You Are More Than Your Worst Pattern
"Character defect" is one of those recovery phrases that can sound honest while keeping people stuck. This episode looks at how patterns like control, anger…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
Nervous System Dysregulated? Try This DBT Skill: Progressive Muscle Relaxation
When emotional intensity gets high, access to problem-solving, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness can narrow quickly. TIPP is a DBT…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
Moving Lights Don’t Fix Trauma: A No-BS Explanation of EMDR
EMDR is often reduced to following a light while bilateral stimulation “unlocks” trauma. In this episode, Brian explains what EMDR actually involves, what…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
The Conversation You Should Have Had Earlier: Boundaries and the Work After the Line Is Drawn
Boundaries are often taught as simple limits: say what belongs to you, let other people have their reactions, and stop managing everyone else’s emotions. This…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
Stop Giving Inner-Circle Access to Outer-Circle People
This episode looks at boundaries through the lens of friendship, emotional access, and reclassifying people when their behavior no longer matches the role you…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
When You Just Need Them to Admit It (and they won’t)
A construction project that began around a $150,000 estimate grew into something that may approach half a million dollars. Between surprise costs, “change…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
I Used to Think Sobriety Looked Unbearable. Then I Became the Bird Feeder Guy.
This episode looks at addiction, dopamine, recovery, and the strange return of quiet joy through the unlikely doorway of bird feeders. Years ago, ordinary…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
Watering Dead Soil is Not Patience: When Waiting is a Waste of Time
Patience can become a way to stay stuck. This episode breaks down the difference between slow growth that is actually building capacity and waiting that keeps…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
Why Inconsiderate People Hit Such a Nerve
Why do other people feel so exhausting sometimes? This episode uses Buddhist psychology to break down the aversive temperament: the part of the mind that sees…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
You Knew You’d Regret It. You Did It Anyway.
Why do people keep repeating behaviors they already decided to stop? This episode breaks down the neuroscience behind addictive loops, impulsive behavior…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
How Your Phone Has Rewired Your Nervous System
Phones have become more than tools. They sit on the dinner table, beside the bed, in the bathroom, in the car, in the waiting room, and in the hand before most…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
Can You Be Honest With a Therapist Who Secretly Judges You?
When therapy becomes filtered through politics, ideology, and online moral performance, clinical curiosity can disappear. This episode looks at how therapists…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
You Don’t Keep Picking the Wrong People. You Keep Working Around the Wrong Things
Most people ask why they keep picking the same kind of person after the pattern has already taken over. The deeper problem usually shows up earlier: what gets…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
My Dad Was Complicated: Sometimes Hard to Love and Harder to Lose
Father’s Day can bring up grief, anger, resentment, guilt, longing, love, and the old ache of wanting something from a father that never fully came. For people…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
Curiosity, Certainty, and the Stories We Decide Too Early
Curiosity is often treated like a personality trait, but here it is something much more practical: the ability to pause before the mind turns a reaction into a…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
Why Smart People Fight the Simple Things That Help Them
There is a special kind of rage that happens when you are already activated and someone tells you to breathe. This episode looks at why intelligent, insightful…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
Why Your Dog Is Happier Than You
Humans spend most of their time inside thought loops—replaying the past, predicting the future, and constantly evaluating themselves—while dogs stay anchored…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
You’re Not Reacting to This — You’re Reacting to Something Else
Most reactions don’t start in the moment—they follow patterns built years earlier. This episode breaks down how certain emotional responses fire instantly when…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
“Sorry You Felt That Way” — When They Won't Take Responsibility
Apologies often break down when people focus on protecting their self-image instead of acknowledging the impact of their behavior. This episode examines why…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
You’re Not Chasing Sex or Relationships — You’re Chasing Being Chosen
Sexual attraction, novelty, and validation are often treated as chemistry or preference, but this episode breaks down the mechanism underneath. It examines how…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
Human First, Cop Second: Police, Alcohol, and Asking for Help
Retired law enforcement officer Mike Clark joins Brian for a raw conversation about police culture, alcoholism, sobriety, trauma, suicide, and the fear that…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
When You’re Right and Still the Problem
People with addiction histories, trauma adaptation, and high-functioning nervous systems often experience intense anger toward inefficiency, passivity, and…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
You Are Not Entitled to More Time. You're Going to Die. Now What?
This episode examines death without cushioning it in belief systems or abstract philosophy, and tracks what happens when the mind stops trying to solve…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
Why You Can’t Stop Replaying It in Your Head and Why Zebra's Don't Get Ulcers
Why do you keep replaying conversations in your head long after they’re over? This episode breaks down the real mechanism behind it—how one comment, tone, or…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
The Scoreboard Never Ends: Why More Money Doesn’t Settle Anything
Money becomes a scoreboard long before it becomes security, and that shift quietly drives how people live, spend, and evaluate themselves. This episode breaks…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
I Am Not Better Than My Clients: Compassion Without Cosigning Bullshit
Addiction can make decent people lie, hide, manipulate, and manage the truth while still carrying real pain underneath the behavior. In this episode, Brian…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
Broken Mirror Syndrome: When Trauma Warps Self-Evaluation in Real Time
Why do some people turn a simple complaint into proof that they’re fundamentally flawed? In this episode, we break down “broken mirror syndrome” — how trauma…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
What Actually Slows Emotional Reactions and Radical "okay-ness"
Most emotional suffering isn’t caused by pain itself, but by resistance to reality. This episode explores why reactivity escalates when life doesn’t match what…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
Why “That’s Just Who I Am” Keeps You Stuck
Most people think their personality is fixed. “I’m anxious," “I’m avoidant,” "I'm sassy," "I'm just honest," “I’ve always been this way.” In this episode, we…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
Why Forgiveness Doesn’t Respond to Force
When forgiveness is pushed before the nervous system has processed what happened, it turns into compliance rather than resolution. This episode looks at why…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
Why You Get Defensive the Second Someone Criticizes You
Why do otherwise thoughtful, self-aware people become instantly defensive when they receive real feedback? This episode breaks down defensiveness as an…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
Why Your System Won’t Let You Change (Yet)
You can understand your patterns and still feel your body tighten when something real comes up. You can know why you shut down in relationships, get anxious…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
Guest Terry P: Recovery Isn’t Boring — You’re Just in the Wrong Room
In this episode, Brian sits down with Terry P, a connection from early sobriety during the pandemic when both were trying to find something that actually…
- Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery
Stop Saving Them: Why Families Stay Stuck
Addiction doesn’t stay contained in one person. It reorganizes entire families around survival, silence, control, and roles that outlive their usefulness. This…