Offending from the Victim Position: Why Feeling Wronged Can Make You Act Worse

Doing The Work from Naples Integrated Recovery · Oct 15, 2026 · 43m

This episode looks at what happens when hurt becomes a relational stance—when a legitimate frustration starts giving us permission to lecture, control, withdraw, retaliate, or keep pushing long after the original problem has been addressed. Drawing from Terry Real and Pia Mellody, I explore offending from the victim position, resentment, dysfunctional relational stances, and the ways childhood experiences can shape how we handle conflict, power, closeness, and frustration in adult relationships.

We also get into relational trauma, the Trauma Grid, false empowerment, grandiosity, boundaries…