Shows / Your Effin’ Love Story
Your Effin’ Love Story
I didn't turn on the mic to coach you, teach you, or tell you what you want to hear.
I turned it on because everybody was talking and nobody was saying anything real that spoke to me and the shit I'd been through.
Your Effin' Love Story is about love, marriage, relationships, intimacy, grief, shame, identity, and the complicated relationship we have with ourselves.
Death.
Cancer.
Rage.
Hope.
Lust.
Aging.
The quiet shit we carry around but rarely say out loud.
Five marriages.
Four divorces.
A…
Episodes
- Your Effin’ Love Story
Episode 28 | The F Word — Who Decides The Value
Someone wanted me to come speak to their people. Real opportunity. Real money. One condition — no F-word. I said I couldn't promise that. They said thanks…
- Your Effin’ Love Story
Episode 27 | Q&A — And The First Time Sharon Shows Up ("uninvited" no less - LOL!)
What you're about to hear was recorded March 22nd, 2023. At the time I was doing courses, Sharon was in the middle of serious medical challenges we didn't…
- Your Effin’ Love Story
Episode 26 | What Does Their Relationship Have To Do With You
Sharon and I were watching a YouTube video about an interracial couple — he's from Ghana, she's from the Netherlands — and the comments were full of people…
- Your Effin’ Love Story
Episode 25 | I Wasn't Her Caregiver. I Was Her Husband.
I'm recording this at 12:34am because I realized I'd missed some upload days and I wanted to address that honestly before moving on. But something else…
- Your Effin’ Love Story
Episode 24 | Don't Pay Your Light Bill And Tell Me Time Is An Illusion
It's 11:33pm on a Monday. I watched a YouTube video about how time isn't real and it got under my skin enough that I couldn't go to bed without getting behind…
- Your Effin’ Love Story
Episode 23 | You're Chasing Your Own Biscuits And Gravy
My grandmother could take flour, water, and whatever else she had on hand and make something I have been trying to find again for 57 years. Biscuits and gravy…
- Your Effin’ Love Story
Episode 22 (21-B) | From Whence I Come (Part 2 of 2)
I went back and listened to the very first episode I ever recorded. It was terrible. Not terrible because the ideas were wrong. Terrible because it wasn't me…
- Your Effin’ Love Story
Episode 21 (a) | I Stopped Tap Dancing (Part 1 of 2)
Someone commented on a post I made about St. Louis — flowers still bloom, birds still sing, even in a city that wrestles with being the murder capital of the…
- Your Effin’ Love Story
Episode 20 | Gunshots At 7AM And The Life You Haven't Lived Yet
I was up at 4am and nothing was coming. No notes, no inspiration, no momentum. I laid on the sofa and eventually dozed off. At 7:11 in the morning I was yanked…
- Your Effin’ Love Story
Episode 19 | You Can't Have What You Can't Describe
Describe cotton candy to someone who has never seen, touched, or tasted it. Not fluffy. Not sweet. Not spun sugar. Those are words. I'm asking you to make…
- Your Effin’ Love Story
Episode 18 | I Didn't Hit Save. Now What?
I recorded what my wife and I both agreed was probably the best episode I've ever done. Then I didn't hit save. Gone. All of it. And I sat there with my head…
- Your Effin’ Love Story
Sunday Stroll 03 | When You Look In Your Closet
I got up Sunday morning, watched a YouTube interview with Lee Marvin on the Dick Cavett Show, and immediately felt like a dick for being surprised that he was…
- Your Effin’ Love Story
Episode 17 | An Honest Hot Mess Is Still Honest
I got up this morning and genuinely asked myself what in the absolute hell I'm doing with this podcast. I've got my notebook. I've got my notes. I know how to…
- Your Effin’ Love Story
Episode 16 | Why Not Date Yourself?
I sat down tonight with my fountain pen and my notebook trying to get organized. Trying to make this thing professional. Trying to make sure the episodes flow…
- Your Effin’ Love Story
Episode 15 | Your Own Darkness Isn't What You Think It Is
We've collectively decided that darkness — whatever yours happens to be — needs to be buried. Subjugated. Hidden behind better behavior and polite company. And…
- Your Effin’ Love Story
Episode 14 | You Don't Actually Know What You Want From Them
Get something to write with. Not your phone. Not your laptop. An actual pen and an actual piece of paper. I'll wait. This episode is about the specific person…
- Your Effin’ Love Story
Episode 13 | You Must Define For Yourself What Love Is
I jumped out of bed to record this one. That's how I knew it needed to be said. I spent most of my life letting everyone else define love for me. My parents…
- Your Effin’ Love Story
Episode 12 | What If It Was You Holding Your Own Hand?
I didn't plan this one. I almost didn't record it. This morning during my little ritual before I got behind the microphone, something hit me that I've never…
- Your Effin’ Love Story
Episode 11 | The Only Person Who Can Make You Feel Small Is You
I had a day at work today. The kind where you're face to face with people's attitudes — verbal, sometimes physical — and you have to just take it because…
- Your Effin’ Love Story
Sunday Stroll 02 | The Heart Will Always Know
* If you are sensitive to frank discussions about the death of infants and children, then you need to skip this episode. - Chase…
- Your Effin’ Love Story
Sunday Stroll 01 | The 99 People Who Didn't Fuck With You
This is the first Sunday Stroll. Less structured than the regular episodes. More rambling. Different intro music depending on how I feel. That's just how this…
- Your Effin’ Love Story
Episode 10 | Some Days Just Hand You Your Ass
It is, uh, it's a Friday. It's about, uh, about 10 45. And, uh, I hadn't even intended on doing a podcast episode of any kind. I it's, you know, it's, I've got…
- Your Effin’ Love Story
Episode 9 | What The Hell About Me?
I had an ache for most of my life that I couldn't name. Couldn't describe it. Couldn't explain it. Just knew it was there, and knew that staying drunk was the…
- Your Effin’ Love Story
Episode 8 | Who Asked You To Save Me?
Imagine that someone came here, to this little podcast of mine, just to convert me, correct me, or tell me what I should be doing with my life. I mean…
- Your Effin’ Love Story
Episode 7 | You Weren’t Really Looking For Jesus in The Nightclub
I used to have a whole ritual. Liquor store first. Shower with a drink in hand. Right cologne. Right outfit. Music to get myself pumped up. Then drive to…
- Your Effin’ Love Story
Episode 6 | I Know Shame Very Well: On Childhood Abuse, Suicide, and the Light I Didn't Think Was Possible
I know shame very well. This episode is about where mine came from and what it cost me. I was a preteen boy used as an instrument of someone else's sexual…
- Your Effin’ Love Story
Episode 5 | When Someone Puts Their Hands on You and You Have to Choose Your Reaction
I'm continuing my personal exploration of what informs my life, but this episode is about something that happened at work yesterday. Someone put their hands on…
- Your Effin’ Love Story
Episode 04 | What Informs My Life: God, Grief, and the Faith I Didn't Want to Talk About
I've avoided this topic like wet socks for years—long before this podcast existed. What informs my life? What informs the foundation of everything I create and…
- Your Effin’ Love Story
Episode 03 | I Am Not Your Problem. (And Nobody Else Is, Either.)
People ask why my courses aren't free. “They ought to be free,” they say with a great deal of passion and righteousness. They tell me I'm too confrontational…
- Your Effin’ Love Story
Episode 02 | The Death of the Script: You Don't Have to Be Polished to Be Worthwhile
My wife is in the background talking to her sister in Zambia, she just kissed me on the head, and I'm drinking my coffee. If you find that distracting, or if…
- Your Effin’ Love Story
Episode 01 | Stop Looking Outside Yourself for the Answers
I spent decades searching for answers outside myself. I looked through philosophy, psychology, spirituality, and every system that promised to explain who I…