Shows / Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
Tired of hearing “just put yourself out there” when it comes to friendship or community? Same.
Friendship IRL is the podcast that skips the fluff and gets real about what it takes to build meaningful adult friendships and lasting support systems. Whether you're struggling to make new friends, maintain old ones, or just want people in your life who really show up, you're in the right place.
Each week, host Alex Alexander brings you honest conversations and tangible strategies to help you…
Episodes
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
Becoming a Regular: How Third Places Open the Door to Unexpected Friendships
If a real third place opened in your neighborhood tomorrow, would you actually use it? And I don't just mean would you walk in. I mean would you sit down next…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
Cousin, Sister, Best Friend: The Stories Built Into Our Labels
Just because someone is your sibling, cousin, or best friend, does that mean your relationship has to look a certain way? For episode 200 (I still can't quite…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
Your Friend Is Carrying an Invisible Backpack (And So Are You) with Stacey Uhrig
What if you stopped needing to “fix” your friends? In this episode, certified trauma care practitioner Stacey Uhrig and I are talking about the “invisible…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
When Friendship Doesn’t Look Like You Thought It Would
Have you ever seen someone else’s friendship online and immediately felt that little pang? One day I started thinking about the TV show Friends, and girls’…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
What a Ugandan Village Taught Tom Karrel About Belonging
Everyone is talking about building a village right now. It’s on social media, in parenting forums, in wellness content, in the conversations we have when we’re…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
Financial Literacy as a Friendship Goal & Money Conversations We Should Be Having With Friends
Do you talk about money with your friends? Money can bring up jealousy, comparison, shame, judgment, and all kinds of feelings we may not want to bring into…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
Bestiemonies, Friendship Vows, and the Ceremony You Didn't Know You Needed with Jennifer Hobbs
We have so many rituals for romantic love, between weddings, anniversaries, showers, and celebrations. But what do we have for friendship? Today I’m talking…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
5 Ways to Shake Up a Stale Friendship
Have you ever realized that every time you hang out with certain friends, you do the exact same thing? That happened to me recently with a group of friends. We…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
How to Help Your Teen With Friendship Drama with Sheri Gazitt
Today’s episode is for the parents who have messaged me over and over again asking, “How do I help my teen daughter through friendship drama?” But it’s also…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
Disappointment is the Cost of Friendship
Last week’s guest said something that really stuck with me: “The cost of community is disappointment.” We feel disappointed when a friend cancels at the last…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
How to Make Mom Friends When the Village Doesn’t Just Appear with Molly Menning
Making new mom friends sounds simple enough until you’re actually in the thick of it, and that’s where Molly Menning found herself after becoming a full-time…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
The Urge to Tell Your Life Story on the First Friend Date (And What to Do Instead)
Have you ever come home from hanging out with a new friend and you spiral, wondering if you shared too much or scared them off? I call this a new friend…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
What to Say When Someone You Love Is Grieving with Shelby Forsythia
This episode will completely change how you show up for the people in your life when they are grieving or going through something. Most of us have heard the…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
Are Birthdays Doing Too Much Work In Our Friendships?
Have you ever caught yourself on your birthday paying a little too much attention to your phone? Noticing who texted, who posted, who sent a voice memo? What…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
Loneliness, Vitality, and the Six Domains of Health with Dr. Alan Rozanski
It’s impossible to talk about friendship or community without the topic of loneliness. What is loneliness doing inside the body? How is it affecting our…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
When Your Friend Starts Feeling Like a Different Person
Have you ever left a hangout with a friend and felt like 95% of the hangout was normal, but the other 5% was just… off? Maybe it was a comment that surprised…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
What Actually Happens When You Move Next Door to Your Best Friends? with The Friendhood
There is something dreamy about the idea of living close to your people. Imagine all of the spontaneous walks, casual dinners, and “come over, I’m on my couch”…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
Why You Feel Lonely Even Though You Have Close Friends
There’s a specific kind of loneliness that I don’t think enough people talk about — the loneliness you feel EVEN when you have good friends. In this episode…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
Raised by Community: The Small Moments That Actually Save Kids (and Adults)
Why does connection, caregiving, parenting, friendship, and community feel so hard right now? Author Stephanie Malia Krauss is here to talk about the “weather”…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
THE BOOK IS HERE! Behind the Scenes of “Are We Friends Yet?”
My book is finally out in the world. This week, I'm taking you behind the scenes of the 6-year journey that became Are We Friends Yet? — from a food blog and a…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
The Secrets We Keep (For Our Friends)
What do you do if a friend tells you something deeply personal? Maybe they're getting divorced, or they’re pregnant but haven’t publicly announced it. This…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
How One Bumble BFF Match Turned Into a Best Friendship with Hayleigh Hayhurst
Friendship apps have a reputation for being awkward. They're "not how real friendships happen.” But what if that's not true? When Hayleigh Hayhurst moved to…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
What Is Friendship Culture? (And How to Shift It Without Blowing Everything Up)
Why does one friendship feel effortless while another feels tense, draining, or rigid? In this episode, I’m diving into a concept I think about constantly…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
How to Show Up for a Friend Going Through a Divorce with Oona Metz
Divorce is one of those life moments where everyone has an opinion, a reaction, or a face they make when they’re told – which is, much of the time, not very…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
Friendship Stalls: How to Work Your Way From “Acquaintance” to “Friend”
Have you ever tried to make a new friend and felt like you were stalling out between the “acquaintance” and “friend” stages? Maybe this person was on the edge…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
The Cost of Quiet: How to Stop Avoiding Conflict and Have Those Hard Conversations with Colette Jane Fehr
Here you are, leaving that friendship hangout frustrated again. You swear you’ll tackle the issue at the next meet-up, but then, time goes by. You’ve pushed…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
Why We Need to Stop Using the Word “Toxic” in Regards to Friendship
Bad vibes. Frenemy. Fake friend. Toxic friendship. We have an entire vocabulary for when friendships aren’t working, but I think certain words and phrases…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
Neurodivergent Friendships: Self-Advocating, Masking, and Reframing Friendship as a Skill with Caroline Maguire
To me, writing a friendship manual for neurodivergent people seems kind of mind-bending. How do you encapsulate the beauty and diversity of ALL our brains in…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
Gossip in Friendship: Is It Really as Bad as Everyone Says It Is?
Does talking about one person to another make you a bad friend? For quite some time, I’ve been considering the role of gossip in friendship. I’ve reflected on…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
Unmuted Rooms and Judgement-Free Listening with Erin Snow
For years, Erin Snow was a trauma-informed legal advocate for domestic violence, sexual assault, and stalking survivors, so she understands well the cost of…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
Why (and How) You Should Start Initiating Recurring Social Gatherings
Fitting social gatherings into busy lives often isn’t easy, but let me remind you of their value: One of the longest studies on human connection found that…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
I Don’t Have Any Friends! (Help!)
Have you ever felt like you have nobody to call, and wondered: how did I get here? Where are my people? Maybe you’d been focusing on your career and lost touch…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
Using AI to Navigate and Improve Friendships with Connor Joyce
Like it or not, AI is becoming part of our world in countless capacities – including navigating friendships. Today’s guest is Connor Joyce, a senior user…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
Jealous of a Friend? Here's What That Feeling Is Actually Telling You
Ever feel both happy and also … a little jealous when a friend shares good news? I experienced this dichotomy the other night, when my friend shared a success…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
How to Ask Someone to Hang Out (Without Making It Weird)
While brainstorming episode ideas, I sometimes search Google Analytics to see what people are asking. Here’s what I found this week: How do I ask someone to…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
The 10 Coffee Date Experiment That Changed Her Friendships with Alison Kinsey
She used to call herself the shy, awkward kid with one best friend. Now she calls community her superpower. Last year, Alison Kinsey decided to run an…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
Group Chat Anxiety (Part 2): What To Actually Do About It
This is the second installment in a two-part series about group chat anxiety. If having a massive group chat text chain stresses you out, then I’m going to let…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
Group Chat Anxiety (Part 1): Why Your Notifications Feel Like Emotional Homework
Have you ever picked up your phone and discovered a hundred unread text messages? Likely you’re at the tail end of a group chat, and it kind of feels like…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
Grief and Friendship: Showing Up After Infant Loss with Michelle Valiukenas
When Michelle Valiukenas lost her daughter Colette after being born at 24 weeks, the grief was devastating – and this grief had real effects on her…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
An Act of Resistance: Why Getting to Know Your Neighbors Matters Right Now
One reason I do this work is I believe all humans deserve to feel safe – but for a lot of us, that’s not a reality right now. Across the country, from…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
Too Many Friends? How to Stop Burning Out in Your Relationships
Ever feel like, all of a sudden, you have TOO many friendships to juggle? I know – this sounds like the most privileged problem ever! But truly, it’s a common…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
Should the Goal of Your Friendship be to “Never Rock the Boat?”
Have I made it sound like it’s easy to keep friendships strong and resilient? If so, let me set the record straight: making changes in friendships, even if…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
It’s OK to Get Help With Making Friends (Especially After College!)
Imagine you’re fresh out of college and just moved back to your hometown. Suddenly, making plans with your friends feels hard. Instead of meeting them in the…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
[REPLAY] How to Talk to Friends About Celebrating Holidays Together
I sobbed in the car about the holidays this week – but not for reasons you might think. Here’s what made me emotional: I am so grateful and excited for the…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
[REPLAY] How to Stop Dreading Parties and Take Charge of Your Guest Experience
If you’re somebody who dreads going to a party, then this episode is for you. Sometimes the couch feels more appealing than going out into the world and…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
Narrowing the Liking Gap and Feeling More Confident in Your Interactions
Raise your hand if you’ve ever walked away from an interaction and thought, gosh, I was so awkward! They’ll never want to talk to me again. If this is you…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
How to Host on Any Budget (and Not Fall Into the Martha Stewart Trap)
Let's talk about the Martha Stewart trap so many of us have fallen into. You decide you’re going to get everyone together to see your new place. But then you…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
The Benefits of Normalizing Not Drinking at Friend Gatherings
I’ve never been a big drinker. In my early twenties, I remember having to stand up for myself to be included during drinking games, even though I was drinking…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
Almost Everyone Has Experienced Friendship Break-Up (Twice!) with Meenadchi
Ninety-four percent of people have experienced more than one friendship break-up. Let that sink in. Nearly EVERYONE listening has been through this heartbreak…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
It’s Never Too Late to Make Friends
There is a message I keep getting in my DMs, and it breaks my heart every single time. It’s too late for me to make friends. I’m too old. I’ve messed up. I…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
The Dynamics of Couple Friendships
Lots of people tell me they want couple friendships – you know, those picture-perfect foursomes you see in movies, where everybody gets along effortlessly…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
Re-Thinking Conventional Friendship Wisdom with Jacob Marquez
Calling someone you haven’t spoken to in two years isn’t weird; it’s just being human. Today’s guest is Jacob Marquez, also known as J. Henry, a Seattle-based…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
Why We Should All Want Our Friends to Have Robust Social Lives (Even If It’s Without Us)
Cheer your friends on for hanging out with each other … even if it’s without you! It might sound like counterintuitive friendship advice. But the truth is…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
The Extraordinary Ripple Effects of Small Moments of Connection with Amy Stafford
Imagine you’re an expat in Berlin in the early 2000s, with no smartphones, no social media, and barely any internet. You walk down the street and spot someone…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
There’s a Spectrum to “Belonging” to a Group … and That’s OK!
One of the best things about being part of a group – whether a book club, neighborhood, friend group, or formal community – is feeling like you belong to…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
Moving Past Inconvenience and Leaning into the JOY of Helping Our Friends
Lately I’ve been hearing about how the price of community is inconvenience. You know what I’m talking about: those posts about how, if you want a village, you…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
Reframing Rejection with Tanesha Moody
When putting yourself out there, rejection is inevitable. But here’s a reframe you might need to hear: YOU are not being rejected. It’s only your OFFER that is…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
Write Your Own Friendship Manual: Building Authentic Relationships While Neurodivergent with Lee Hopkins
Have you ever felt like everyone but you received some kind of friend-making manual? Today’s guest, Lee Hopkins, is a social connections and business culture…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
How to Not Feel Neglected in Conversations with Friends (and Why Sometimes TMI is a Good Thing)
It happens to all of us: you leave an interaction and realize the conversation was all about the other person. They didn’t ask a thing about you. Today’s…
- Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
[REPLAY] The Enormous Impact of Small Intimacies
Sometimes to feel closer to our friends there’s this pressure to share our most vulnerable feelings or unearth some deep, dark secret. But what if I told you…