Shows / Doing Marriage Well
Doing Marriage Well
This blog is not Doing Marriage Right. That would be about doing what someone thinks we should all do. Your marriage is the blending of two unique people, and what works for others may not be good for you. There are things that are nearly universally successful for couples, and things that are universally harmful. For those who follow Jesus, there are some expectations and limits. But honesty, there’s a great deal of wiggle room. We’ve seen happy couples living a wide variety of different ways…
Episodes
Doing Marriage WellThe Root Causes Behind Emotional and Sexual Disconnects
Paul examines why emotional and sexual connection often feel limited or missing in marriage, noting the cause is rarely simply indifference. He outlines common…
Doing Marriage WellThe Missing Link: Unlocking True Emotional Availability
In this episode Paul explains what emotional availability really means, why many couples never learned it, and how it affects marriage. He outlines the…
Doing Marriage WellFacing the Hard Truth About What We Withhold From Our Spouse
This episode challenges couples to see that withholding emotional connection is as painful and damaging as withholding sex, and that we often use cognitive…
Doing Marriage WellIs Your Marriage Missing This Vital Connection?
In this episode Paul explains that emotional and sexual availability are both essential to a healthy marriage and that lacking one can hurt a spouse just as…
Doing Marriage WellWhy God Invented Marriage - Week of Aug 3rd 2026
In this digest of Doing Marriage Well (week of August 3, 2026), Paul explores why God created marriage, drawing from Genesis, the prophets, and the New…
Doing Marriage WellIs Your Spouse Why You Are Unhappy? - Week of July 27th
This episode examines how couples often treat their spouse as the primary obstacle to peace and flourishing, and urges listeners to focus on their own actions…
Doing Marriage WellDid God Make Marriage for Sex? The Answer Might Surprise You!
Paul explores a provocative question: did God create marriage for sex, or did he create sex for marriage? He argues that human sexuality — unlike most animals…
Doing Marriage WellHappy or Holy? God’s Design for Marriage Includes Both
Paul examines whether marriage exists to make us happy or to make us holy, concluding it should do both. He rejects the idea that spouses are meant to fix one…
Doing Marriage WellGod Prioritises Marriage: Lessons from the Old & New Testaments
This episode shows how Scripture elevates marriage, using Deuteronomy 24:5 and Hebrews 13:4 to explain God’s design and command to value and protect marriage…
Doing Marriage WellWhat Your Marriage Says About God (For Better or Worse)
This episode explores how marriage is used throughout the Bible to illustrate God’s relationship with his people—from prophetic images of God as husband to…
Doing Marriage WellWhy Did God Invent Marriage?
Paul explains why God created marriage, focusing on Genesis 2:18 (The Voice) and the idea that it was "not good for man to be alone." He explores what God…
Doing Marriage WellThe "Sex Is Different" Lie: Separate Rules Hurt Your Marriage
This episode examines the damaging idea that sex should follow different rules than the rest of marriage. It explores how withholding affection or demanding…
Doing Marriage WellBeyond the Fight-or-Flight Marriage: Overcoming Reactivity and Control
Emotional reactivity in marriage comes from our fight-or-flight system and turns calm conversations into threats. When we react impulsively, we stop listening…
Doing Marriage WellSilent Killers: How Withdrawal and Contempt Destroy Marriage
In this episode of Doing Marriage Well (July 29, 2026), Jay Stringer explores two destructive patterns—withdrawal and contempt—that quietly erode marriages…
Doing Marriage WellAre You Using Your Spouse’s Mistakes to Justify Your Own?
Paul reflects on a Jay Stringer quote about how many marital conflicts come less from incompatibility and more from a loss of integrity. He warns against using…
Doing Marriage WellIs Your Spouse Really the Obstacle to Your Happiness?
In this episode of Doing Marriage Well, Paul responds to a quote from Jay Stringer and explores how couples often see their partner as the main barrier to…
Doing Marriage WellSexual Health - The Week of July 20th
Doing Marriage Well — week of July 20, 2026: a concise guide to studies and practical steps to improve sexual health and intimacy for couples. Topics include…
Doing Marriage Well5 Proven Habits of Couples Who Stay Sexually Satisfied
In this episode of Doing Marriage Well (July 24, 2026) we review a study of nearly 40,000 people that looked at what helps couples stay sexually satisfied…
Doing Marriage WellWant Better Sex? Start Putting Your Fantasies on Paper
In this episode Paul summarises a study showing that people who wrote sexual fantasies at least twice a week for four weeks experienced increased sexual desire…
Doing Marriage WellThe Best Natural Supplement: Regular Sex Keeps You Healthy
This episode examines research linking regular sexual activity to a range of physical and mental health benefits, while noting the limits of correlation versus…
Doing Marriage WellNeedles and Your Sex Life: The Ultimate Guy’s Guide to ED and PE
This episode explores injectable treatments for erectile dysfunction (ED) and premature ejaculation (PE), including FDA-approved penile injections and…
Doing Marriage WellSexual Health Issues? Why You Must Advocate for Yourself
Paul explains how most doctors receive little training in sexual health, so patients often need to push for answers, ask for referrals, and advocate for proper…
Doing Marriage WellSex and Needs: Pornography, Expectations, and Real Intimacy
In this episode of Doing Marriage Well (July 17, 2026), Paul addresses how pornography harms marriage and explains why a wife’s request that her husband stop…
Doing Marriage WellIs It Too Much to Ask? Judging the Validity of Relationship Needs
In this episode Paul explains how to decide whether a spouse’s expressed needs are valid. He recommends generosity when a request isn’t enabling and can be met…
Doing Marriage WellWhich Need First? The Strategic Way to Heal a Neglected Relationship
In this episode of Doing Marriage Well (July 15, 2026), Paul outlines a strategic approach to repairing neglected relationships by prioritising immediate…
Doing Marriage WellThe Cognitive Shield: Why We Dismiss Our Spouse’s Needs
In this episode Paul explains the ‘cognitive shield’—our tendency to dismiss a spouse’s needs to avoid feeling inadequate—and lists common valid needs couples…
Doing Marriage WellValidating Their Needs: The 1st Step to A Better Marriage
Paul explains how many unhappy marriages stem from valid needs that go unacknowledged, and offers a simple three-step approach: admit the need is valid…
Doing Marriage WellDrunk on Love: Unlocking Sexual Freedom with Your Spouse
This episode explores sexual freedom within Christian marriage, showing how Scripture—including the Song of Songs—affirm God’s good design for physical…
Doing Marriage WellIs Your Idea Winning Out at the Cost of Your Spouse?
Paul explores how couples can disagree safely by choosing kindness and calm over winning. He emphasizes understanding different processing styles—fast vs. slow…
Doing Marriage WellThe Freedom to Grow - Without Growing Apart
Couples grow and change throughout life — sometimes slowly, sometimes suddenly. This episode explains why marriage needs ongoing sharing and adjustment so…
Doing Marriage WellThe Gift of Being Fully Known (and Fully Loved)
This episode explores the importance of creating a marriage where each partner can be fully themselves without fear of judgement. It highlights the freedom to…
Doing Marriage WellIs There Freedom in Your Marriage? (And Why it Matters)
Paul explores what freedom looks like inside a healthy marriage: mutual permissions and nurtured trust rather than unchecked licence. He focuses on the freedom…
Doing Marriage WellRewrite Your Marriage Sex Script for Mutual Pleasure
In this episode Paul explains that many couples follow a single sex "script" that often favours the husband and leaves the wife less satisfied. He urges…
Doing Marriage WellThe Marriage Gripe Fest: Echo Chambers Are Dangerous for Your Relationship
In this episode of Doing Marriage Well (July 2, 2026), Paul examines how "marriage gripe fests" and echo chambers formed around shared hurt can undermine…
Doing Marriage WellLoving the World But Failing at Home: The Danger of Misplaced Ministry
This episode reflects on a sermon about King David and Absalom and asks whether we use spiritual activity to avoid addressing real issues in our marriages. It…
Doing Marriage WellWhy Avoiding Fights Might Be Killing Your Relationship
In this episode, Sean asks whether you’ve emotionally checked out of your marriage to avoid conflict, encouraging spouses to engage honestly and lovingly…
Doing Marriage WellWhy Ignoring Family Problems Always Makes Them Bigger
Paul borrows insights from Sean’s sermon on 2 Samuel 15:1–12 to show how David’s failure to address Amnon’s crime against Tamar led to deeper family damage and…
Doing Marriage WellThe Unspoken Wedding Day Advice That Silently Starves Marriages
In this episode of Doing Marriage Well (June 26, 2026), Paul examines how unspoken wedding‑day messages and cultural pressures promote sexual selfishness and…
Doing Marriage WellThe Science of Wedded Bliss: What the Data Says About Generosity
This episode presents research on marital generosity, reporting a survey of 1,365 couples and related studies that show generosity is linked to higher marital…
Doing Marriage WellThe Marmalade Trap: Why Your Generosity Might Be Missing the Mark
Using the "marmalade trap" as a metaphor, this episode explains why giving what you prefer can fail to bless the person you care about. True generosity means…
Doing Marriage WellThe Baseline of Grace: Generosity When You Least Feel Like It
In this episode Paul explains why steady generosity—not just when you feel like it—is one of the most powerful practices in marriage. He urges listeners to set…
Doing Marriage WellThe Debt of Grace: Why Generosity Should Start at Home
Paul and Lori revisit the roots of their message, defining generosity biblically and reflecting on the parable of the unmerciful servant to show why grace…
Doing Marriage WellThe Anatomy of a Myth: Why Freud Was Wrong About Your Sex Life
Paul challenges cultural and Freudian myths about male and female sexuality, explaining how anatomy — not moral failure or poor technique — often determines…
Doing Marriage WellIs Your Perception Shrinking Your Husband & Hurting Your Marriage?
This episode looks at a common false image some women have of their husbands—treating them like a child or calling them a “man-child”—and explains how that…
Doing Marriage WellBorn of Love, Built on a Lie: The Danger of Seeing Your Wife as Fragile
This episode explores how a heartfelt but false view of a wife as fragile—shaped by culture or past experiences—undermines marriage. Paul explains how…
Doing Marriage WellMarriage Trap: Are You Gender Profiling Your Spouse?
This episode explores how past experiences and social stories cause us to 'gender profile' our spouse, letting fear and prejudice colour our view of their…
Doing Marriage WellMind vs. Heart: Which Version of Your Spouse Are You Married To?
Host Paul explains that we perceive our spouse in two ways: the mind (facts, behaviour) and the heart (feelings shaped by past hurts). When the heart is driven…
Doing Marriage WellSpeaking Up in the Bedroom: The Cost of Pretending and Faking
In this episode Paul explains how silence, pretending, and failing to ask for what you need damage sex and marriage. He covers why people fake orgasms, why…
Doing Marriage WellWhen "I'm Sorry" Isn't Enough: Responding to a Spouse Who Won't Let Go
This episode explores what to do when a spouse refuses to forgive, exaggerates past wrongs, or uses them to manipulate and gain sympathy. It explains common…
Doing Marriage WellThe Sidetrack Trap: Deflecting Questions Damages Communication
This episode explains how sidetracking and deflecting derail communication in marriage, with common examples like counter-questions, “you did it too,” and…
Doing Marriage WellWhy Letting Bad Tactics Work Damages Your Marriage
In this episode of Doing Marriage Well (June 9, 2026), Paul explains how allowing manipulative tactics—anger, threats, the silent treatment, or emotional…
Doing Marriage WellBroken Behaviours: Tolerating Bad Treatment Isn’t Loving
This episode examines "broken behaviours"—patterns where one spouse tolerates mistreatment instead of setting limits. Using the image of a man calmly walking…
Doing Marriage WellLess Sex Than Either of You Want — and Nobody's Talking About It
This episode explores the steady decline in sexual frequency among married couples, the surprising role of solo relief, and why the lack of sex can harm…
Doing Marriage WellDealmakers and Dealbreakers: Taking Ownership of Your Marriage
In this episode Paul urges couples to take ownership of their marriage by recognising that staying passive is itself a choice. He explains how unhappy…
- Doing Marriage Well
One Person Can Change a Marriage: The Power of Interplay
In this episode Paul explores how one person's choices and reactions can reshape a marriage. He explains that changing behaviours, responses, and…
Doing Marriage WellWhy Change is Hard: 5 Barriers to a Better Marriage
In this episode Paul outlines five common reasons we resist change in relationships: feeling undeserving, identity tied to current behaviour, fear of failure…
Doing Marriage WellIt’s Your Life Now: Taking Ownership of Your Life & Marriage
In this episode, Paul and Lori encourage listeners to stop living other people’s lives or reacting in rebellion, and instead take responsibility for their…
Doing Marriage WellWhy Great Sex Won’t Fix a Broken Relationship (and Vice Versa)
This episode examines the relationship between sex and love in marriage, highlighting that neither can solve the other's problems. Using Mary McCarthy's…
Doing Marriage WellIs Your Spouse Insecure? The Hidden Reason Communication Breaks Down
A recent observational study found that romantic partners who feel uncertain about their relationship tend to experience more negative emotions during everyday…
Doing Marriage WellWhen Brains Differ: Navigating Neurodivergence in Marriage
Host Paul explores how neurodivergence — especially ADHD but also autism, dyslexia, prosopagnosia and others — shapes emotional needs and perceptions of…