Shows / Your Secret Is Safe With Me
Your Secret Is Safe With Me
Dr. Marie Murphy talks about infidelity and other challenging relationship situations from a non-judgmental perspective. She shares practical tools and advice from her own coaching practice to help you make changes in your love life, and interviews professionals with complementary expertise, such as family law attorneys, mediators, non-violent communication specialists, and more. In addition, Marie discusses the social and historical context of romantic relationships to provide perspective on…
Episodes
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
246: Yes, You Really Can Find Love Again
When an affair relationship is ending, it can be incredibly easy to believe that you'll never find anyone else who makes you feel the way this particular…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
245: The Truth Might Set You Free
What if telling the truth could make your life easier, even if you aren't sure you're going to like what happens next? In this episode, I talk about why…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
244: The C-Word
What is the C-word? In my work, there's one C-word that carries a lot of weight: closure. In this episode, I talk about what closure actually means, why we can…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
243: Stop Texting Your Affair Partner so Much
If you're spending hours texting your affair partner every day, but you know it's making your life harder, why are you still doing it? It's completely…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
242: Fun Quiz with Fun Prizes
What if the people in your life are a lot more interesting than you've been giving them credit for? I'm doing something a little different this week: I'm…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
241: The Holidays are Swiftly Approaching
If you don't want to experience another holiday season the way you experienced the last one, what are you actually going to do differently? The holidays can be…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
240: One of the Many Ways to Resolve an Infidelity Situation: Jane's Story
What if an infidelity situation didn't have to mean the end of your life as you know it? In this episode, I'm talking with Jane, a woman in her late 60s who…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
239: After the Affair: When Infidelity Becomes the Beginning of a New Life
So many stories about infidelity focus on the devastation, the shame, and the belief that an affair means your life is ruined forever. But that is not the…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
238: After the Affair: What Happens When You Finally Choose Yourself
Most stories about infidelity end with heartbreak, regret, or destruction. But what if that isn't the whole story? In this episode, I'm joined by Scarlett, a…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
237: Change Can Be (EXTREMELY) Strange
Have you ever made a change you knew was right for you, only to wonder why it felt so unsettling? If you've found yourself grieving a life you chose to leave…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
236: Taking the Agony Out of Major Life Decisions
What if making major life decisions didn't have to be so agonizing? Many people assume that the bigger the decision, the more time, uncertainty, and emotional…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
235: Emotional Affairs
What exactly is an emotional affair, and how do you know if you're having one? Despite how often the term gets used, there is surprisingly little agreement…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
234: Resisting the Urge to Contact Your (Ex) Affair Partner
What do you do when you've decided you don't want to continue your affair, but you still desperately want to contact your affair partner? So many people assume…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
233: How to Have Better Sex (Part 3)
What does better sex actually require once you've clarified your desires and started rebuilding a connection with your partner? If you want better sex in a…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
232: How to Have Better Sex (Part 2)
What if having better sex has less to do with what you do in bed and more to do with how you show up with your partner every day? If your sex life has been…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
231: How to Have Better Sex (Part 1)
What does better sex actually mean to you, and have you ever really stopped to define it for yourself? So many people say they want better sex, but when we…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
230: When Your Infidelity Situation Takes Over Your Life
When your infidelity situation starts to take over everything, it can feel like it's the only thing that matters, the only thing worth thinking about, and the…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
229: Radical Un-Shaming with David Bedrick
Radical un-shaming sounds lovely in theory, but what does it actually look like when you are dealing with desires, behaviors, or parts of yourself that other…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
228: Podcast Greatest Hits: When You Love Your Partner and You Still Want to Cheat
Is it possible to deeply love your partner and still want to have sex or romantic experiences with someone else? If you're in a committed relationship that was…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
227: Love, Sex, and Romance: What Do You Really Want?
Have you been so immersed in your infidelity situation that it feels impossible to think clearly about anything else, let alone what you actually want from…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
226: Recovering From a "Bad Decision"
Have you ever been paralyzed by the fear of making a "bad decision" about your infidelity situation? Maybe you're terrified that you'll leave a good-enough…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
225: Drunken One-Night Stands
You had a drunken one-night stand while in a committed relationship, and now you're out of sorts about it. Maybe you're torturing yourself with questions like…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
224: Going All-In On Your Desires
Do you want to be lying on your deathbed saying, "Oh yeah, I'm really glad I didn't take that risk"?Or would you rather say, "Thank God I went all in on my…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
223: Whose Job Is It to Change the Conversation About Infidelity?
Have you ever found yourself keeping silent when someone makes a sweeping judgment about infidelity? Maybe you've sat through conversations where people say…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
222: Dating for the First Time in a Long Time
The fear of dating again after a long period of not dating is definitely a factor that keeps some people from thinking clearly about what they want to do about…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
221: Why I Work with Affair Couples as Individuals
Working with couples separately might seem counterintuitive when challenges arise. The dominant cultural narrative tells us that relationship problems require…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
220: Vacillating Between Two Relationships
Going back and forth between two relationships can feel like being trapped in an endless ping-pong match. One moment you're certain about choosing your spouse…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
219: Thriving After Infidelity: Michael's Story
Maybe you're in the midst of an affair, paralyzed by guilt and uncertainty. Maybe you're losing sleep, watching your health decline, and feeling like there's…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
218: Creating the Future vs. Predicting the Future
You're already making plans for tomorrow without knowing if the internet will crash, your dog will have an emergency, or an earthquake will hit. You're…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
217: The Perils of Telling the Truth
Have you ever felt proud of yourself for telling the truth… only to later wonder if you should have approached it differently? We often think of truth-telling…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
216: When Your Affair Partner Breaks Your Heart
Have you ever had someone walk out of your life without warning, only to reappear months later as if nothing happened? It's complicated enough when it happens…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
215: Secretly Dating While You're Married
Have you ever thought about "checking out your options" before making a big relationship decision? It seems logical, right? Why make a life-changing choice…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
214: What If You Make the "Wrong Decision" About Your Relationship(s)?
Have you ever been paralyzed by the fear of making the "wrong" decision about your relationship(s)? Maybe you're considering leaving your marriage, ending an…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
213: Beginnings and Endings
Is it really okay to end something that's working well? After much consideration, I've decided to pause production of Your Secret is Safe With Me indefinitely…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
212: Choosing Between Two Good Things
Have you ever felt stuck between two good choices? Through my personal story of leaving a life I loved to join the Peace Corps, I illustrate how choosing…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
211. Dealing With Your Personal Problems When the World Is on Fire
Feeling overwhelmed by the state of the world? Wondering how to focus on your own personal struggles—like dealing with infidelity—when global crises seem so…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
210. Sex Work and Infidelity Part 2
Does your partner's sexual past make you uncomfortable? What if you found out they had exchanged sex for money before you met - would that feel like cheating?…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
209. Astrology and Infidelity with Karen Hawkwood (Part 2)
Have you ever felt like you have competing desires when it comes to relationships? Like part of you craves freedom and adventure while another part yearns for…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
208. Sex Work and Infidelity Part 1
Is paying for sex cheating? In this week's episode, I dive into the complex intersection of sex work and infidelity. I explore how to be a conscious consumer…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
207. Astrology and Infidelity with Karen Hawkwood
Have you ever wondered if your astrological chart holds clues to your relationship patterns and tendencies? In this episode, I sit down with teacher and…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
206. Where Do You Want to Be a Year from Now?
What would your life look like a year from now if you resolved your infidelity situation in a way that felt really amazing to you? Do you struggle to imagine…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
205. What Can You Give Yourself More Credit For?
What if I told you that the key to making positive changes in your life is self-love and acceptance, not self-loathing? It may sound counterintuitive, but…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
204. The Challenges of Infidelity During the Holidays
Do the holidays have you feeling stuck between a rock and a hard place in your infidelity situation? You're not alone. Trying to balance family obligations…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
203. Your Money or Your Freedom
What's more important to you - your money or your freedom? If you're stuck in a marriage you don't want to be in but are reluctant to leave because you don't…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
202. Breaking Up with Your Affair Partner
Are you struggling with the idea of breaking up with your affair partner? How do you tell them it's over in a way that doesn't sound like an ultimatum? Is it…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
201. High-Conflict Breakups
High-conflict breakups are always going to be tricky. And when infidelity is involved, feelings can get amplified, leading to some pretty interesting behavior…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
200. Nostalgia
Does your marriage or your committed relationship CURRENTLY feel like home to you? Or are you running off of memories of what your relationship once felt like…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
199. You Are Worthy of Acceptance
No matter what you've done or are doing in regards to your infidelity situation, you are worthy of acceptance, love, and respect. As you'll hear in this…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
198. What Do You Owe Your Ex-Affair Partner's Spouse?
What do you do if your ex-affair partner's spouse wants to talk to you about the affair? Do you owe them an apology or explanation? Is there actually anything…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
197. Affairs with Old Lovers
Have you ever reconnected with a former flame and found yourself in an affair, wondering if this is your second chance at true love? When people are engaging…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
196. What Are You Tolerating?
Are you tolerating aspects of your life and relationship situations that you shouldn't? This week, I dive into what happens when we tolerate things we don't…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
195. Affair Relationships Can Last a Lifetime
Something I hear regularly is the belief that relationships that begin as affairs cannot transition into non-affair relationships. A lot of folks I work with…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
194. Dealing With Doubt
Are you facing doubt in your infidelity situation? Do you want to make a decision but feel uncertain about what the right decision is? Maybe you are unsure…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
193. What Do You Owe a Relationship Before You Can Decide to Leave It?
If you are married or in a long-term relationship and also involved with someone else, there may be one big question on your mind when you think about ending…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
192. When Will I Stop Fantasizing About My Ex-Affair Partner?
Do you ever find yourself fantasizing about your ex-affair partner? Do you torture yourself reminiscing on the wonderful times you shared, and the amazing…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
191. Are You Just Having a Midlife Crisis?
There is a common belief that marriage should last a lifetime. So when somebody decides that they are dissatisfied with life as they know it, and engage in an…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
190. The Magic Button
The Magic Button that I'm diving deeper into this week is the one you wish you could push to answer all your questions about your infidelity situation. The one…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
189. Scandal, Disgrace, and Redemption
People often freak out when infidelity occurs, even if it has pretty much zero impact on their lives. It gets treated as a big scandal that the "perpetrator"…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
188. When Your Affair Partner Leaves You for the Wrong Reasons
Have you ever found yourself in an affair situation with someone who is monogamously committed to someone else? For a while, your partner is pretty sure they…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
187. It's Okay to Change Your Mind
How often do you make a decision that you think you're happy with, then doubt yourself and fear it was the wrong one because you feel so many mixed emotions…