Shows / Your Secret Is Safe With Me
Your Secret Is Safe With Me
Dr. Marie Murphy talks about infidelity and other challenging relationship situations from a non-judgmental perspective. She shares practical tools and advice from her own coaching practice to help you make changes in your love life, and interviews professionals with complementary expertise, such as family law attorneys, mediators, non-violent communication specialists, and more. In addition, Marie discusses the social and historical context of romantic relationships to provide perspective on…
Episodes
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
186. Why I Do the Work I Do (Part 2)
Join me for part two of "Why I Do the Work I Do" as I share the turning point that led me to become a relationship coach specializing in non-judgmental…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
185. Why I Do the Work I Do (Part 1)
As you may be aware, "non-judgmental infidelity coach" is not a common job description that exists out there in the world, at least not to my knowledge. This…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
184. The Point of Resolving Your Infidelity Situation (Part 2)
At some point, the drawbacks of your infidelity situation can start to outweigh the benefits, and if this happens for you, you may want to start thinking about…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
183. When Your Affair is Over, You May be Bored
If you experience boredom after you've stopped engaging in infidelity, you may not know what to do with yourself, and you are NOT alone. Post-infidelity…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
182. Why Considering Non-Monogamy Might Not be Helpful
In this week's episode, I talk about why exploring non-monogamy COULD be a way to resolve your infidelity situation… and when why exploring non-monogamy may…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
181. How to Tell Someone You've Cheated on Them
Before initiating the conversation with your partner about your affair, there are some things you need to be clear on. In today's episode, I discuss how to…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
180. When Your Affair Partner Has an Agenda for You
Is your affair partner invested in helping you leave your committed relationship? In today's episode, I explain the importance of understanding the extent to…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
179. How Long Should You Wait for Your Affair Partner to Leave Their Marriage?
Today, I look at the question of how long you should wait for your affair partner to leave their marriage. Maybe you don't want to set a timeline for your…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
178. When You Have an Agenda for Your Affair Partner
Today, I'm talking to those of you who have an agenda for your affair partner. Even though you mean well, the truth is that you can only manage your own…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
177. What It's Like to Work with Me
Whether you've been a dedicated listener for a while or have just recently tuned in to the podcast, you might be curious about what it's like to work together…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
176. Fear
The feeling of fear is one of the things that can make infidelity situations seem so hard to deal with. There are a LOT of things that might seem scary within…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
175. The Right Tools for the Job
Are you ready to make some changes but don't know where to start? This week, I share some helpful tools to help you create change and resolve your infidelity…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
174. Believing in Your Capacity to Change
With a new year beginning, there's a feeling of change in the air for some. And maybe that change has to do with your infidelity situation. In this episode, I…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
173. The Easy Hard Paradox
I believe that "difficulty" is not an absolute truth or fact but rather a matter of our thinking. In this episode, I discuss the many ways we can think…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
172: Missing Your Affair Partner
Often, people dealing with an affair ending come up against disenfranchised grief and finding forced validity in their experience. In today's episode, I…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
171. The Extreme Highs and Lows of Infidelity
Often, our infidelity situations come with extreme highs and lows. In this episode, I talk about that emotional rollercoaster and how the extreme ups and downs…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
170. Planning to Break up with Someone After the Holidays
Holidays or not, there's never a perfect time to break up with someone. You may have been planning to break up with your partner, but then Thanksgiving rolled…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
169. Integrating Your Affair Partner Into Your Family
The holidays are fast approaching, and you might be in the midst of figuring out your family's plans. More importantly, you may be figuring out how to…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
168. The Gifts of Your Infidelity Situation
In this episode, I share a lengthy list of questions that you can answer to help find the gifts within your infidelity situation. It would be silly to act like…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
167. Starting Over After a Breakup
Breakups are an amazing opportunity to start over. You can be feeling sad, hurt, and angry, while also stepping into a new chapter of your life. In this…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
166. The Hell of Being Broken up With
If someone you love breaks up with you, it may hurt like hell. If a relationship that you hoped would continue comes to an end, you may be hurt, devastated…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
165. Ultimatums
It's reasonable to have hopes, wishes, and desires in any relationship. However, trying to coerce, cajole, or threaten your partner into getting what you want…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
164. Cheating On Your Affair Partner
Are you worried about cheating on your affair partner? Is that even possible? This is a real dilemma that my clients bring up, so if you can relate, you are…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
163. Approaches to a Breakup: Breadcrumbs vs Bombshells
Breaking up with partners is something most people lack experience in. Whether your breakup is the result of infidelity, you're breaking up with an affair…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
162. Becoming More Decisive
Your time and energy are limited, and when you don't make decisions quickly and effectively, you're wasting both. Infidelity situations are often fraught with…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
161. How Do I Know if I'm Being Reckless?
The problem with dismissing your desires because of potentially reckless outcomes is not going to help you decide what you really want. If you are faced with…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
160. Cheating On Your Fiancé
Why does cheating on your fiancé present a particularly complex situation? Of course, not everybody puts marriage and monogamy together, but if you're formally…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
159. You Can't Eat the Whole Elephant at Once
When you can break down your infidelity situation into individual worries, questions, hopes, decisions, and actions, you can start deciding what you want to do…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
158. Forgiving Yourself & Forgiving Others
This week's episode is all about learning how to forgive yourself when you fall short of your own expectations, and forgiving others when things don't work out…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
157. You Might Be an Asshole
If you're in the midst of an infidelity situation, there are plenty of opportunities for you to think of yourself as an asshole. Humans tend to be terrified of…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
156. Nurturing a Long-Term Affair (Part 2)
This week, Marie is going in-depth on the things for which you and your affair partner need to take collective responsibility, and the things your affair…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
155. Nurturing a Long-Term Affair (Part 1)
In any relationship, affair or otherwise, there are things you and your partner can deal with together, and there are some things that you or your partner can…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
154. Being Your Own Steward
It's common for people to believe that they themselves don't have the ultimate power to make decisions. Maybe they don't think they have permission to choose…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
153. Your Questions Answered (Part 5)
How can you remain friends after an intimate affair? Why do people cheat in the first place? How might the presence of children factor into your…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
152. Seeing Your Ex-Affair Partner in Social Settings
Dr. Marie Murphy is doing something new this week. She is explicitly calling someone out for their perspective on an infidelity-related topic in an otherwise…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
151. Your Questions Answered (Part 4)
Can you keep a long-term affair going alongside your marriage? What has to happen for this situation to work out? Do cheaters always get found out? What do you…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
150. Your Questions Answered (Part 3)
If you're concerned about justifying your decision to end the relationship, being honest without being cruel, the honesty of your affair partner, or feeling…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
149. Your Questions Answered (Part 2)
If you find yourself in a situation where you feel you've made mistakes in your relationship and desire to end it but worry about how others will react to your…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
148. Your Questions Answered (Part 1)
Whether you're struggling with your thoughts and expectations of your partner, avoiding looking at your thoughts about your situation, or grappling with other…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
147. You Can't Shame Yourself into Changing
There is an idea floating around in the cultural fog that if you tell yourself you're doing something wrong or that doing a particular thing makes you a bad…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
146. Loving Your Decisions
One of the biggest themes Dr. Marie Murphy's clients struggle with when they come to her for help is making decisions. If you currently believe that there are…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
145. Don't Wait to Get Caught
Some people keep their infidelity situations going because they don't know what they want. They think being in this state of not knowing offers them some…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
144. Your One Wild and Precious Life
As humans, we are part of the cosmos, something much vaster than ourselves, and our understanding of it is only partial. However, your infidelity situation…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
143. Treating Your Infidelity Situation as a Life Project
Are you viewing your infidelity as an unsolvable mystery, or are you ready to tackle it as a life project, an opportunity for resolution, and personal growth?…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
142. Trying to Get Back to the Way a Relationship Used to Be
Some individuals who engage in infidelity express a desire to recommit to their spouse or primary partner, longing for a return to the way things were in their…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
141. Contentment That Isn't Dependent Upon a Relationship
As a society, we have decided that if you aren't in a romantic relationship, you are alone. It's fine to prefer having a partner (or partners) over not having…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
140. Loneliness
When it comes to infidelity and loneliness, there are two distinct-but-related problems. One is that as humans, we don't like feeling lonely. The other is that…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
139. Comparing Your Spouse to Your Affair Partner
Comparison is a normal human behavior, especially if you're romantically involved with multiple people. There is a time and place to make comparisons, but are…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
138. Telling a New Partner About Your History with Infidelity
You get to decide what you share about yourself with other people. If you're considering telling a new partner about your history with infidelity, make sure…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
137. If You Don't Feel Guilty About Cheating
Discover how to deal with the idea that there's something wrong with you because you don't feel guilty about cheating. Dr. Marie Murphy is discussing why you…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
136. If You've Been Stuck in Your Infidelity Situation for a While
When you're feeling stuck in your infidelity situation, it's easy to think that the situation is out of your hands and change is becoming increasingly more…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
135. When Your Infidelity Situation is Brand New
No matter how your infidelity situation began, when you decide that whatever you've been doing counts as infidelity or cheating, that moment feels like a…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
134. Cheating in Open Relationships
Discover the options available to you if your partner has decided you've cheated in your open relationship. Dr. Marie Murphy is discussing both sides of the…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
133. Don't Make Your Partner Break Up with You
When someone in a committed relationship has been cheating on their partner and they feel stuck in deciding what they want to do, they sometimes get the idea…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
132. Stop Minimizing the Importance of Sex
Is sex important to you in a relationship? If you can honestly acknowledge the extent to which good sex (however you define that) is important to you, making…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
131. Breaking Up with Someone You've Been Cheating On
When you decide that it's time to break up with someone you've been cheating on, you'll likely have a lot of questions about how to ensure the person you're…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
130. Implicit Permission to Cheat
Say you and your partner started off as a monogamous couple, but then you started discussing "alternate arrangements" and it turned out that although you were…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
129. Cultivating Clarity and Certainty (Part 2)
If you're in the midst of an infidelity situation and you're confused about what to do next, it's generally the case that you may be using your mind in ways…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
128. Cultivating Clarity and Certainty
Discover the value of cultivating clarity and certainty for yourself. You'll hear a story that illustrates this point, and why changing your thoughts based on…
- Your Secret Is Safe With Me
127. The Limits of Other People's Advice
Discover why you want to seek out advice from others, and why this might not be the best idea when it comes to your infidelity situation. Dr. Marie Murphy is…