Shows / Gay Men Going Deeper
Gay Men Going Deeper
Gay Men Going Deeper is a podcast about gay relationships, identity, sexuality, and personal growth for gay men navigating modern life. Hosted by Michael DiIorio and Matt Landsiedel, the show dives into topics like dating, shame, masculinity, confidence, emotional intimacy, and the pressures of modern gay culture. Expect raw conversations, psychological insight, and the kind of honest discussions that challenge assumptions and invite deeper reflection about what it means to live authentically…
Episodes
Gay Men Going Deeper300 Episodes Later: Growing, Changing & Still Figuring It Out
300 episodes over six years. A lot has changed. For our 300th episode, Michael, Matt, and Reno are back together at the mic for the first time in three months…
Gay Men Going DeeperThe Gay Man’s Healing Journey: What Is The Inner Work And How Do We Actually Do It
Growing up gay shapes you. Even if you had a relatively good experience, many of us learned to hide parts of ourselves, seek approval, stay guarded, or adapt…
Gay Men Going DeeperGrowing Up Different: The Impact on Belonging
Growing up different can leave a lasting impact on how we see ourselves, our relationships, and our sense of belonging. Even years later, many gay men still…
Gay Men Going DeeperWhen To Get Off the Apps (And When to Go Back On)
Apps are a huge part of modern gay life. We delete them, reinstall them, swear them off, go back on, and keep trying to figure out whether they’re helping us…
Gay Men Going DeeperWhy Bad Boys Feel So Good
Why do the guys who are a little distant, a little edgy, and a little hard to get feel so magnetic? Is it actually attraction…or is a deeper pattern being…
Gay Men Going DeeperWhy Gay Men Struggle with Intimacy
Intimacy sounds like something we all want, but being truly seen can feel terrifying. In this episode, we talk about why fantasy often feels safer than…
Gay Men Going DeeperFrom Validation-Seeking to Self-Trust
Seeking validation isn’t just about chasing likes. It’s the part of us that needs approval, wants to belong, and feel accepted. But does it come at a cost? In…
Gay Men Going DeeperWhen Feeling Bad Is Good For You
Feeling bad is not a flaw in the human experience. It’s an essential life skill for anyone who wants a life of love, growth, satisfaction, and intimacy— all of…
Gay Men Going DeeperLiked by Everyone, Chosen by No One: The Nice Guy Trap
A lot of gay men pride themselves on being “nice”— easygoing, agreeable, low-drama. But what if that’s exactly why you’re not getting what you want? In this…
Gay Men Going DeeperHow to Elevate Your Hookups
Hookups get a bad rap as shallow, transactional, or disconnected. But what if they could actually become a space for growth, awareness, and real connection? In…
Gay Men Going DeeperThe Daddy Issue: Our Relationships With Our Dads
For many gay men, our relationship with our dad is one of the most defining- and least talked about. In this episode, we explore the nuances of our…
Gay Men Going Deeper“I Don’t Need Anyone”: Why Gay Men Struggle to Let Someone In
A lot of gay men take pride in being independent, self-sufficient and in control. But is there a shadow side? When the time comes to let someone in, ask for…
Gay Men Going DeeperGay–Straight Bromance: Why We’re Drawn to Each Other
There’s something unique about friendships between gay and straight men. They often feel easy, natural, and unexpectedly intimate. In this episode, we explore…
Gay Men Going DeeperHow To Deal With Haters (Without Getting Defensive)
We’ve all dealt with them. And maybe we’ve probably been one too… In this episode, we unpack what’s really going on beneath hate. Not just online trolls or…
Gay Men Going DeeperBusy, Stimulated, and Disconnected: Gay Men & Escapism
What if the things you turn to for fun, pleasure, and productivity are also the ways you avoid your life? In this episode, we explore escapism through a…
Gay Men Going DeeperLet’s Play! When Did Life Stop Being Fun?
At what point did life stop being fun? As kids, play came naturally. We were curious, spontaneous, and fully present. But for many adults, especially gay men…
Gay Men Going DeeperMasc for Masc: Preference or Internalized Homophobia?
When a gay man says he’s attracted to masculine men, is that simply preference… or could internalized homophobia be part of the story? In this episode, we…
Gay Men Going DeeperFlakey Gays: Why is Follow-Through So Hard?
The guy who constantly cancels plans, keeps things vague, or disappears when something better comes along — that’s flakiness: a pattern of not following…
Gay Men Going DeeperIs Being Gay Your Entire Identity? (The Hidden Cost of Over-Identification)
What does it actually mean to identify as gay? For many of us, claiming the word “gay” was liberating. It gave us language, belonging, community, and pride. It…
Gay Men Going DeeperIs Romance Dead in Gay Culture?
In a world of swipes, situationships, and high-intensity connections, romance can start to feel obsolete — replaced by sexual energy, emotional guardedness, or…
Gay Men Going DeeperSexual Authenticity: Owning Your Desires
Being sexually open isn’t the same as being sexually honest. In a culture that celebrates sex, many gay men still struggle to feel aligned with what they truly…
Gay Men Going DeeperThe Body Count Dilemma: Why Gay Men Can’t Win
In gay culture, “body count” refers to how many people you’ve slept with. And whether it’s high or low, it often feels like a no-win situation. Have a low body…
Gay Men Going DeeperWhy So Many “Confident” Guys Are Secretly Insecure
Gay culture rewards visibility, desirability, and dominance, so a lot of what looks like confidence is actually performance under pressure. In this episode, we…
Gay Men Going DeeperThe Slow Build in Romantic Relationships
Everyone says they want a “slow build” in dating… right up until chemistry hits and judgement leaves the building. In this off-the-cuff episode, we talk about…
Gay Men Going DeeperWhy Gay Men Are Talking About Heated Rivalry
Gay Men Going Deeper has never done an episode about a TV show before. There’s a reason we did this one. Heated Rivalry isn’t just popular. It landed at a very…
Gay Men Going DeeperWill I Be Single Forever?
It’s a question many gay men quietly carry… especially after heartbreak, disappointment, or years of trying. In this episode of Gay Men Going Deeper, we put on…
Gay Men Going DeeperHow to Build Unshakeable Confidence
This episode of Gay Men Going Deeper is less of a casual conversation and more of a confidence masterclass. One you’ll likely want to come back to again and…
Gay Men Going DeeperStandards vs. Boundaries in Dating
In this episode, we’re breaking down one of the biggest dating myths gay men love to repeat: “My standards are too high.” But sometimes the problem isn’t what…
Gay Men Going DeeperSingle and Ready to Mingle
In this episode, Michael and Matt get personal about what we love about being single, how we knew we were ready to start dating again, and what we want to…
Gay Men Going DeeperWhen Attraction Fades
Why does attraction fade… and what can we do about it? In this episode we get real about attraction in long-term relationships. The spark doesn’t always burn…
Gay Men Going DeeperWhat’s Really Sexy (and Nobody Talks About It)
After unpacking our culture’s obsession with “perfect” bodies, this week we’re flipping the script. In this episode, we’re celebrating what’s actually hot: the…
Gay Men Going DeeperHow to Thrive in the Culture of Body Perfection
From the gym to social media, gay men are constantly surrounded by images of the “ideal” body. But what does all this perfection chasing actually cost us? In…
Gay Men Going DeeperRadical Honesty: Letting Yourself Be Known
In this episode, we dive into what radical honesty really means- not the brutally blunt “telling it like it is” version, but the deeper, more vulnerable kind…
Gay Men Going DeeperTwinks, Jocks, and Bears, Oh My! The Obsession with Gay Labels
Today we’re diving into one of the most iconic (and hilarious) parts of gay culture: labels. In this episode, we unpack why gay men are so obsessed with…
Gay Men Going DeeperThe Slow Fade: When We Ghost Without Ghosting
Today we’re talking about The Slow Fade: that slow, quiet drifting apart where the messages get shorter, the replies slower, and the energy shifts until one…
Gay Men Going DeeperNesting: Creating Platonic Spaces for Healing and Authentic Connection in the Gay Community
What we want you to gain from this episode is the importance of non-sexualized, safe, and brave spaces for gay men to heal and grow together. By the end of…
Gay Men Going DeeperHow to Open Your Heart to Receive Love
We all say we want love… but are we actually open to receiving it? In this episode, we’re going deeper into what it really means to open your heart. From the…
Gay Men Going DeeperFalling in Love With The Fantasy
Some of us don’t fall in love with people, we fall in love with an idea of them. The story, the potential, the fantasy of the perfect boyfriend who finally…
Gay Men Going DeeperJoy Killers: How and Why We Sabotage Joy
Why does joy feel so hard to hold onto? In this episode of Gay Men Going Deeper, we’re revealing the joy killers: those sneaky ways we sabotage happiness even…
Gay Men Going DeeperFollowing Your Joy: A Special Solo Episode with Reno
What would your day, your week, your next year, or even your life look like if you spent it following your joy? What if joy became your North Star? Your…
Gay Men Going DeeperHow to Find More Joy in Your Life
Joy isn’t just fireworks and big milestones; it’s in the ordinary, everyday moments we often overlook. Yet for many of us, joy feels slippery and hard to find…
Gay Men Going DeeperPerfectionism, Pressure, and the Gay Overachiever
You know the type — ambitious, perfectionistic, and always striving to do more and be more… yet secretly fuelled by pressure, anxiety, and fear. In this…
Gay Men Going DeeperRadical Acceptance: Grief’s Final Lesson
In this final installment of our 4-part series on grief, we explore the powerful practice of Radical Acceptance—what it means, why it’s so difficult, and how…
Gay Men Going DeeperAging Parents and Pre-Grief
As our parents get older, many of us are faced with a new kind of grief- the quiet, ongoing loss that comes not from death, but from watching the people who…
Gay Men Going DeeperGrieving Relationships
Not all grief is about death. Sometimes, the hardest losses are the people (or pets) who are still alive—but no longer in our lives. In this episode, we’re…
Gay Men Going DeeperGrieving Your Past
Grief isn’t just about death—it’s also about the quiet losses we carry as we grow and evolve. In this episode, we’re kicking off a 4-part series on grief by…
Gay Men Going DeeperHow to Put Yourself Out There
Most of us want to be seen, heard, and understood, but the fear of judgment can stop us from doing so. Whether it’s being more social, speaking your feelings…
Gay Men Going DeeperThe Problem With Self-Love
We all know self-love is important, but what happens when it goes too far in the wrong direction? In this episode, Michael DiIorio is joined by therapist…
Gay Men Going DeeperLone Wolf Energy
Some of us didn’t choose to become lone wolves—we were shaped into them. Many gay men have learned to rely only on themselves, and while that self-sufficiency…
Gay Men Going DeeperWhy Do I Keep Attracting Unavailable Men?
In this episode, Matt speaks with queer relationship coach Lonay Halloum about why we attract unavailable men. This episode will provide you with a deeper…
Gay Men Going DeeperRejection Sensitivity
Why do so many gay men struggle with deep fears of rejection—whether in dating, friendships, or even at work? In this episode, we’re unpacking rejection…
Gay Men Going DeeperOvercoming Uncertainty: A Special Solo Episode with Reno
How would you, your life, and your experience be if you were free from uncertainty, instability, and insecurity? While it can’t be promised you won’t have to…
Gay Men Going DeeperClaiming Your Power
We may be adults, but a lot of us are still living in emotional childhood—blaming others for how we feel and how we act. When you give other people control…
Gay Men Going DeeperHow to Soften the Inner Critic
In this episode, Matt speaks with author and love advocate, Scott Stabile. Together, they break down the psycho-spiritual aspects of the inner critic and how…
Gay Men Going DeeperFeeling Your Emotions
What happens when we avoid feeling our emotions? In this episode, we explore the importance of emotional awareness: tuning in instead of checking out. We share…
Gay Men Going DeeperPride Panel Discussion
It’s Pride Month, and with everything going on in the world right now, it feels especially important to pause and reflect. In this special panel discussion…
Gay Men Going DeeperAre LGBTQ Rights Under Attack?
In 2025, LGBTQ rights are facing renewed challenges- from the rise of far-right populism to legislative rollbacks and the rise of hate sweeping across the…
Gay Men Going DeeperHas Pride Lost Its Meaning?
In today’s episode, we’re diving into a question many in our community have been quietly (or loudly) asking: Has Pride lost its meaning? In this wide-ranging…
Gay Men Going DeeperDating as a Demisexual
In this episode, Matt speaks with a panel of demisexual gay men about their experiences dating as demisexuals. What we want you to get out of this episode is…
Gay Men Going DeeperWhy Are Gay Friendships So Hard?
For many gay men, friendship is complicated, performative, and sometimes downright painful. We crave genuine connection but end up navigating cliques…