Shows / The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
Hosted by Danielle Black
A direct, evidence-based podcast for people navigating all-things separation and divorce, including; post-separation abuse, family violence, parenting, property settlement and the family law system - with a relentless focus on protecting children and building a life beyond separation. Because, the advice your lawyer gives you is only the beginning. Family law tells you what the system can do. This podcast helps you understand what to…
Episodes
- The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
128. When Children Resist or Refuse - Part 8: Influence, manipulation & loyalty conflicts
This is part 8 of our "When Children Resist or Refuse" series. This series explores what a child's resistance or refusal might mean. When a child says 'no'…
- The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
127. When Children Resist or Refuse - Part 7: When we stop forcing contact
This is part 7 of our "When Children Resist or Refuse" series. This series explores what a child's resistance or refusal might mean. When a child says no, our…
- The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
126. When Children Resist or Refuse - Part 6: Encouragement, or coercion?
This is part 6 of our "When Children Resist or Refuse" series. This series explores what a child's resistance or refusal might mean. When a child says no, our…
- The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
125. When Children Resist or Refuse - Part 5: Whose job is it to "fix" the relationship?
This is part 5 of our "When Children Resist or Refuse" series. This series explores what a child's resistance or refusal might mean. When a child says no, our…
- The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
124. When Children Resist or Refuse - Part 4: Your barrister is not an oracle
This is part 4 of our "When Children Resist or Refuse" series. This series explores what a child's resistance or refusal might mean. When a child says no, our…
- The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
123. When Children Resist or Refuse - Part 3: Your nervous system is not an oracle
This is part 3 of our "When Children Resist or Refuse" series. This series explores what a child's resistance or refusal might mean. When a child says no, our…
- The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
122. When Children Resist or Refuse - Part 2: What the fuck is a "meaningful relationship" anyway?
This is part 2 of our "When Children Resist or Refuse" series. This series explores what a child's resistance or refusal might mean. When a child says no, our…
- The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
121. When Children Resist or Refuse - Part 1: Why don't they want to go?
This is part 1 of our "When Children Resist or Refuse" series. This series explores what a child's resistance or refusal might mean. When a child says no, our…
- The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
120. Is 9/5 the new 50:50? Care arrangements after Australia’s 2024 Family Law changes
Is nine nights/five nights becoming the new default parenting arrangement after Australia’s 2024 family law reforms? Danielle Black examines the rise of 9/5…
The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast119. Parenting without court orders: More options than you might realise
When parenting arrangements cannot be agreed upon, many protective parents believe they have only two options: give in to what the other parent is demanding or…
- The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
118. The Good Girl Contract - part six (finale): What your children actually need from you
This is the final episode in the six-part Good Girl Contract series: Your children are not doomed by what they have experienced (and neither are you). But what…
- The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
117. The Good Girl Contract - part five: The Contract after separation
This is where the lens widens. Parts 1 through 4 focused on the Contract as it operates in the woman herself - her history, her patterns, her practice of…
- The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
116. The Good Girl Contract - part four: Interrupting the Contract
Part 4 of The Good Girl Contract series. This is where the series pivots. Parts 1, 2, and 3 were diagnostic in nature - naming the Contract, walking through…
- The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
115. The good girl contract - part three: The mirror
If you have been quietly noticing that you struggle to accept other people's boundaries with you - that their no’s, their unavailability, their limits land in…
- The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
114. The good girl contract - part two: The moth and the flame
Their woundedness was a moth to a flame to your overfunctioning. Part 2 of The Good Girl Contract walks through what happened when you took the Contract into…
- The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
113. The good girl contract - part one: Where boundaries begin (or don't)
When your childhood taught you that having needs was dangerous - that being pleasing, useful, and indispensable was the difference between love and its…
- The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
112. Working as intended (Postscript): Do I even need a lawyer? An honest conversation on self-representation
If you have been listening to our Working As Intended series, and you have been quietly wondering "if lawyers were never trained in what my children need, and…
- The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
111. Working as intended - Part 4: How to use your lawyer
If you've been with Danielle across this series, you now know how the family law system in Australia was built, what its practitioners were and were not…
- The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
110. Working as intended - Part 3: The standard - How to tell who actually knows what your children need
"Child-focused." Two words that appear on the website of virtually every practitioner in the post-separation space. Every lawyer. Every mediator. Every divorce…
- The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
109. Working as intended - Part 2: What an Independent Children's Lawyer (ICL) actually is
Nine hundred and fifty dollars. An online module and a one-day workshop. That's the specialist training that qualifies a family lawyer to represent your…
- The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
108. Working as intended - Part 1: What your lawyer was taught (and what they weren't)
What your family lawyer was taught - and what they weren't. The first of four episodes on the architecture of the Australian family law system. Eleven…
- The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
107. When 'parental alienation' is actually coercive control
"Parental alienation" is one of the most weaponised terms in family law. In this episode, Danielle Black takes the term apart, puts something more precise in…
- The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
106. Coercive control - What it is, and what it isn't
"Coercive control" has entered the mainstream - and started to lose its precision. This episode brings it back: what coercive control actually is, what it…
- The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
105. The 5 critical mistakes that parents make in early separation
The decisions you make in the early stages of separation can shape your family for years to come. And yet, most parents make critical mistakes during this most…
- The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
104. If their name was Brian: family violence in lesbian relationships
There is a phrase I have heard, in various forms, from many of my clients over the years: "If her name was Brian instead of Barb, the recognition and response…
- The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
103. What Mother's Day actually looks like when you're navigating post-separation abuse - and what to do with it
This Mother's Day episode is for every mother who knows the day might be complicated. For the mothers without orders, whose former partners simply deny contact…
- The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
102. Everyone has a biggest problem - Why your pain is valid, why staying stuck is a choice, and what it costs both you and your children
In this episode, Danielle unpacks something that comes up constantly in her work with clients: the tendency to invalidate our own pain by comparing it to…
- The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
101. AI tools for protective parents: Claude.ai, ChatGPT and AI Danielle - the 24/7 digital coach inside the Blueprint
What if you had access to a specialist coaching resource trained in coercive control, the Australian family law system, attachment science, and nervous system…
- The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
100. The game is the same - 17 Years, 100 Episodes, and the debut of 'Stronger, Braver, Together'
One hundred episodes. In this milestone episode, Danielle Black does something she has never quite done before - she tells the full truth about where this work…
- The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
99. Why your family lawyer can't do what you actually need - and what only you can do
Your lawyer is not trying to find the truth. And once you understand why - once you really understand how the adversarial legal system is designed and what it…
- The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
98. How I did it - Dating after abuse, self-trust, and deciding you're not too broken
Dating after domestic violence, coercive control, or post-separation abuse is one of the most under-discussed topics in the survivor space. Most people are…
- The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
97. Can you find a healthy relationship after abuse? A conversation with my husband - plus the debut of 'Calm is Credible'
Healthy relationships after family violence, and in the midst of post-separation abuse, are possible - but they are rarely talked about honestly in survivor…
- The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
96. Family reports are not the verdict: What protective parents must know
Family Reports can be influential pieces of evidence in Australian family court proceedings - but they are widely misunderstood. In this episode, Danielle…
- The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
95. The collaboration question: When it works, and when it doesn't
Collaboration is often presented as the gold standard after separation. Parents are encouraged to communicate openly, compromise, and "work together". In the…
- The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
94. The invisible architecture of childhood: What primary caregivers carry - and why it matters
International Women’s Day bonus episode In this special episode, Danielle Black explores something rarely named in conversations about parenting after…
- The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
93. Divorce coaching, narcissism & high-conflict separation: Choosing the right support
What does a divorce coach actually do - and how do you know if the support you’re choosing after separation is right for your situation? In this episode of The…
- The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
92. Intrusive thoughts & rumination after separation: When coaching and self-management tools are enough - and when you need therapy
Intrusive thoughts. Rumination. The relentless "what if" loops that keep you awake at night. If you’re a protective parent navigating separation, family court…
The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast91. Stronger, Braver Together: How safe, professionally held, group spaces change post-separation parenting
In this episode, Principal Coach Danielle Black is joined by Senior Coaches Brigid Morgan and Trudie Hargrave to explore what meaningful, professionally held…
- The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
90. Put on your own cape: Rewiring survival patterns, reclaiming worthiness & STEERing your future after separation
If you’ve experienced high-conflict separation, coercive control, other forms of family violence or post-separation abuse, your brain has adapted to help you…
The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast89. Meet Senior Coach Brigid Morgan: Protective parenting and post-separation empowerment in Australia
In this episode, Danielle is joined by Senior Coach Brigid Morgan for a warm, honest conversation about post-separation recovery, protective parenting, and why…
- The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
88. Considering separation? Let’s talk about the choice you’re already making
Considering Separation in 2026? Let’s Talk About the Decision You’re Already Making If you’re listening to this episode, chances are the question isn’t “Should…
- The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
87. Welcome to 2026: What protective parents need to know (and utilise) this year
2025 was a big year - for families navigating separation, and for the work we do here at Danielle Black Coaching. In this episode, I’m welcoming you into 2026…
- The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
86. Information vs Integration - Why consuming content isn’t the same as becoming strategic
It’s easy to listen to podcasts, read posts on socials, and consume information… but none of that automatically turns you into the credible, strategic…
- The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
85. Why being strategic, and well-informed, saves you money in the long run
Most parents assume that family law is financially exhausting because lawyers and court processes are inherently expensive. But that's not the full story…
- The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
84. How likely is equal shared parenting time & decision-making?
Is 50/50 shared care or equal shared parental responsibility (decision making) automatic in Australia? No - but it is highly likely if protective parents…
- The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
83. To the parents who have invested in themselves - this episode is for you
This episode is a heartfelt message to the parents who have joined The Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint™ or invested in coaching - parents who have chosen…
- The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
82. When programs, certificates and parenting orders don't equal safety
Do Final Orders mean you're finally safe? Does completing a behaviour change program guarantee transformation? This episode exposes the dangerous myths that…
The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast81. Stop googling 'narcissists' - What Australian protective parents REALLY need to understand
If you’ve ever found yourself deep in Google searches trying to work out whether your ex is a covert narcissist, a malignant narcissist, or something in…
The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast80. Understanding coercive control (Part 2): The 7 patterns directed at children
If Part 1 helped you understand the patterned aspect of coercive control, this episode helps you finally see the harm. In Part 2 of this series, Danielle Black…
The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast79. Understanding coercive control (Part 1): Why most professionals miss it
Why do family lawyers, mediators, report writers and even judges keep missing what might be painfully obvious to you - that this isn’t “high conflict,” it’s…
The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast78: Lead, don’t follow: Evidence over ideology in post-separation parenting
Most protective parents assume their lawyer or mediator understands what their children truly need after separation - developmentally, emotionally, and in…
The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast77. When loving the other parent feels like betrayal - How to support your child without making them choose
It’s one of the hardest parts of post-separation life: your child still loves, misses, or defends the parent who hurt you. In this deeply compassionate…
The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast76. Changes in UK family law: What Australia must learn (and face)
Recent reforms in the United Kingdom have shaken the family-law landscape - finally recognising that domestic abuse is not just an adult issue, but a…
The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast75. Radical acceptance & capacity: What actually changes your life
When your co-parent’s behaviour never seems to change, it’s easy to believe that peace will only come once they start doing things differently. But waiting for…
The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast74. The thought error keeping you stuck
If you’ve ever found yourself thinking “My life will only improve when my ex changes,” this episode is for you. In this conversation, Danielle unpacks one of…
The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast73. Understanding the "Ted Bundy Effect" and making strategic decisions
If you've just received a family report that's gotten it completely wrong, this episode is for you. Today we're talking about the "Ted Bundy Effect" in family…
The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast72. Capacity for final trial: staying calm & credible in family court
The word “trial” shouldn’t mean losing yourself. When the stakes feel sky-high, your greatest asset is your capacity - your ability to stay calm, credible and…
The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast71. When the family report gets it wrong
A bad family report can feel like a punch to the gut - especially when coercive control gets reframed as “conflict” and your protective choices are miscast as…
The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast70. Preparing for your family report
Today we’re walking you through a calmer, clearer way to prepare for meeting with a report writer - one grounded in practical tools and a steady presence that…
The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast69. The invisible work that leads to real change
When a single text can hijack your nervous system, “being strong” isn’t a mindset - it’s a skill you can hone and strengthen. We go behind the scenes of…