Shows / Pillow Talks
Pillow Talks
Meet Vanessa and Xander Marin, your new BFF couple friends! She’s a sex therapist with 20 years of experience and he’s a regular dude. Together they’re the shockingly open, slightly nerdy, and seriously funny couple you want to grab sushi with. They share the ups and downs in their relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours. Subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally do-able sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what…
Episodes
- Pillow Talks
E284: Your Wildest Kink & Fantasy Questions… Answered!
Ever wondered why you have a certain kink? Or if it’s OK to fantasize about someone else during sex? Or maybe you’ve been curious about cuckolding, breeding…
- Pillow Talks
E283: Reverse Cowgirl: Tips, Tricks, and Techniques for Maximum Pleasure
Ready to turn things around in the bedroom? We're talking reverse cowgirl, and trust us, there's a LOT more to this position than simply facing the other…
- Pillow Talks
E282: Is This Normal? He Made AI Sex Videos of Us, and I Have Questions
Your husband creates AI videos of the two of you having sex. You're only having sex four times a year. Or you tried a new position once, hated it, and have…
- Pillow Talks
E281: Am I the Asshole? Kissing After Oral, Weight Gain, and Bad Sex
Would you kiss your partner after they went down on you? What would you do if your partner wasn't enjoying the sex you were having? And how would you handle it…
- Pillow Talks
E280: The Initiation Mistakes You Don’t Even Realize You’re Making
Initiating sex in your relationship should feel exciting, not frustrating. But for most couples, it’s anything but smooth. Whether you're feeling stuck…
- Pillow Talks
E279: Ask a Sex Therapist: Kink Icks, Spicy Pics, and Vanilla Sex
Would you tell your partner if their kink gave you the ick? What if their foreplay technique wasn't quite doing it for you? And is it normal for sex to be just…
- Pillow Talks
E278: How to Get Out of a Relationship Rut: Your 4-Week Plan
Your conversations have turned into a running list of who's handling what, and your quality time is two people on one couch looking at two different screens…
- Pillow Talks
E277: How to Take Your Orgasm to the Next Level with the Four Orgasm Amplifiers
Every once in a while an orgasm hits you like a freight train, and you lie there afterward wondering what on earth that was and why you can't do it again. What…
- Pillow Talks
E276: How Do You Turn Your Partner On? (When You've Been Together For Years)
At the start of a relationship, turning your partner on felt like it took basically no effort. So what do you do a decade in, when you've watched each other…
- Pillow Talks
E275: Reasonable or Ridiculous? Sex Quotas, Oral Every Time, and Dirty Talk Dealbreakers
It's time for another round of Reasonable or Ridiculous, where we take real life couple disagreements our community members just can't settle and play referee…
- Pillow Talks
E274: Is it Normal to Not Orgasm During Sex? We Got Attacked for Talking About This
We recently shared a reel answering a question from a woman who didn’t orgasm during sex. The comments section turned into something we've never experienced in…
- Pillow Talks
E273: How to Try New Sex Positions Without Killing the Mood
This week we're answering all your questions about trying new positions, from how to introduce something new when you've been together forever, to why…
- Pillow Talks
E272: What Do Men Really Think About….? (Part 5) Rough Sex, Vibrators, and What Turns Them Off
It’s time for another episode of What Do Men Really Think About… and Xander’s back in the hot seat to answer your burning questions about preferences…
- Pillow Talks
E271: The Real Reason You Can't "Let Go" in Bed
You're finally in bed together, but you can’t stop thinking about tomorrow's to-do list. We've all heard the advice to “just let go”. Stop thinking, stop…
- Pillow Talks
E270: The 5 Silent Relationship Killers That Turn Partners Into Roommates
We ran a poll and 67% of couples told us they feel more like roommates than partners. This week we're walking through our D.R.I.F.T. Framework: the 5 silent…
- Pillow Talks
E269: Tie-Breakers: We Referee Your Realest Relationship Standoffs
Every couple has that one thing they’ll argue about until the end of time. TV in the bedroom. How to load the dishwasher. Can men and women just be friends? 👀…
- Pillow Talks
E268: Ask Us Anything: Only Fans, The Ick, & Creeps In The Comments
It’s Xander’s birthday! And this week for our Ask Us Anything episode, we decided to answer some of your personal questions! This one really pulls back the…
- Pillow Talks
E267: The Hygiene Episode
Should I shower first? Is this normal? Why does it smell like that? This week we're going there with zero judgment, answering your real hygiene and sex…
- Pillow Talks
E266: Ask a Sex Therapist (Part 3) Sex Pillows, Squirting, and Standing-Up Sex
You send us your most "I can't believe I'm actually asking this" questions, and we live for it. So we're back with the third edition of Ask a Sex Therapist…
- Pillow Talks
E265: Is This Cheating? (Part 3) Emotional Affairs, Secret Texts, and Sneaky DMs
Have you and your partner ever actually sat down and defined what counts as cheating? Most of us never do, which is exactly why the gray areas get so…
- Pillow Talks
E264: What Women Really Think About... Part 3
So we're back with Part 3 of What Do Women Really Think About…?, giving you the honest answers women don't always say out loud. From the mental load to mirror…
- Pillow Talks
E263: How to Have More Fun in Your Relationship
When was the last time you and your partner did something purely for fun? Not productive, not logistical, not about the kids, just fun. If you had to think…
- Pillow Talks
E262: The Sex Personality Quiz Every Couple Needs (And What Your Type Says About You)
Ever feel like you and your partner are speaking totally different languages when it comes to sex? One of you wants spontaneity, the other needs to feel…
- Pillow Talks
E261: ED, PE & Everything In Between: Your Performance Problems Solved (Part 2)
The response to our first episode on penis performance problems was so big that we knew we had to come back for round two. In this episode, we're getting into…
- Pillow Talks
E260: How To Orgasm Like A Man: Breaking The Blocks That Keep Women Stuck
For a lot of women, orgasm feels like this mysterious thing that either happens or it doesn't. Nobody taught you how. And somewhere along the way, you picked…
- Pillow Talks
E259: Sex and Intimacy After Kids: What Actually Works (From Parents Who've Figured It Out)
This one's for the sleep-deprived, the time-starved, the diaper-changing, homework-helping parents who still want to feel like a couple. We see you. And we…
- Pillow Talks
E258: Weed, Alcohol, and Sex: What's Actually Happening to Your Body and Desire
Whether it's a glass of wine to take the edge off or a gummy to get out of your head, a lot of people use substances to feel more relaxed, more connected, or…
- Pillow Talks
E257: Am I The Asshole? Oversharing, Snoring, and Body Shaming
One of our favorite series is back. You sent us your wildest, messiest, most "wait… am I the problem here?" relationship stories. And we have opinions. We're…
- Pillow Talks
E256: Doggy Style: Tips, Tricks, and Techniques for Maximum Pleasure
Let's talk about doggy style. It's one of the most popular positions out there. It can feel intense, wild, and incredibly hot. But it also comes with a lot of…
- Pillow Talks
E255: The Sexiest Thing You're Not Doing in Bed…Mutual Masturbation
Only 36% of our audience says they've tried mutual masturbation. Which means most of you are missing out on one of the most erotic, intimate, and surprisingly…
- Pillow Talks
E254: Couples Coaching: Why Resentment Is Killing Your Sex Life
We're back with another real-life couples coaching session. Have you ever gotten to a point where sex doesn't just feel uninteresting… it feels like something…
- Pillow Talks
E253: Ask A Sex Therapist: dry spells, sex pillows, and morning sex
We do weekly “ask us anything” boxes over on Instagram… and let’s just say… you all really show up with the questions 😏 Today, we’re bringing your q’s to the…
- Pillow Talks
E252: Don’t Give Your Kids “The Talk” (do this instead)
Most parents dread “the talk.” How much are you supposed to say? When do you start? What if you say the wrong thing? If you’ve ever felt awkward, unprepared…
- Pillow Talks
E251: What’s Your Desire Type? Our NEW Framework for Understanding What You and Your Partner Really Want
We’re talking about something that explains so much of the tension couples feel around sex and desire. And no — it’s not about having a “high” or “low” libido…
- Pillow Talks
E250: What Do Men Really Think About…? Part 4 (Heated Rivalry, mental load + areolas)
Ever wish you could get a straight answer about what’s actually going on in his head? 🧠 We’re back with Part 4 of our “What Do Men Really Think About…?” series…
- Pillow Talks
E249: Help! I can’t orgasm with my partner. What do I do?
Not orgasming with your partner is way more common than most people realize. And for a lot of women, it turns into one of three coping strategies. Faking…
- Pillow Talks
E248: How to Talk About Sex With Your Partner (Without Making It Weird)
Life has been a lot lately. So today, we’re digging into the archives and bringing back one of the most important episodes we’ve ever recorded: how to talk…
- Pillow Talks
E247: Our Recent Foreplay Discoveries (and how to explore more)
We’ve been experimenting more in our own bedroom lately, and in today’s episode, we’re pulling back the covers on what we’ve discovered. The things that…
- Pillow Talks
E246: How To Stay Connected When The World Feels Like It’s Burning
Lately, we’ve been hearing from so many of you in our DMs. People are telling us they feel guilty wanting pleasure. Ashamed for craving closeness. Disconnected…
- Pillow Talks
E245: What It’s Really Like to Start TRT: Xander’s Testosterone Journey
Testosterone is one of those topics that feels loaded. It’s tangled up in masculinity, aging, sex drive, energy, mood… and a whole lot of misinformation…
- Pillow Talks
E244: How To Schedule Sex (our hot take)
If the thought of scheduling sex makes you cringe a little… we get that a lot. You might be thinking.. “Ugh. That’s so unromantic.” or… “NOT hot.” or… “If we…
- Pillow Talks
E243: Your Biggest Marriage Regrets (And How To Prevent Them)
Most marriage regrets don’t show up as explosive fights. They show up quietly. Feeling more like roommates than partners. Wondering when sex started feeling…
- Pillow Talks
E242: Penis Performance Problems: What’s Really Going On (And What To Do About It)
Penis performance issues are way more common than most people realize… and way more misunderstood than they need to be. Today’s episode came straight from your…
- Pillow Talks
E241: Sex Fails: Car Hookups, Clap Lights, and Cowgirl Concussions
It’s been a while since we last covered some of your funniest sex fails… and honestly, we forgot just how creative things can get when pants come off. We…
- Pillow Talks
E240: The Body Confidence Episode - How To Feel Good In Your Skin During Sex
It’s officially that time of year when the New Year buzz is everywhere. Your feeds are full of fitness goals, habit resets, and “new year, new me” energy. And…
- Pillow Talks
E239: Breaking Down A Real-Life Text Fight (pt. 3)
Text fights hit different. There’s something about seeing the exact words—line by line, timestamped, impossible to deny—that makes communication breakdowns…
- Pillow Talks
E238: Ask a Sex Therapist: Cycle Libido, Rough Sex & How to Sync Up Your O’s
Every week on Instagram we host “Ask Us Anything” question boxes… and every week we’re hit with hundreds of incredible questions we can’t possibly get to in…
- Pillow Talks
E237: The Real Reason You’re Not Having More Sex
Having more sex isn’t actually about libido. (We know — that’s what everyone thinks the issue is.) In today’s episode, we’re breaking down what really gets in…
- Pillow Talks
E236: Sex with Other People…Around: Our Holiday Do’s and Don’ts
It’s the season of gratitude, family time… and figuring out how to have sex quietly. 😅 This Thanksgiving, we’re throwing it back to one of our most iconic…
- Pillow Talks
E235: How Your Phone Is Secretly Sabotaging Your Connection (and what to do about it)
What if the biggest barrier to intimacy in your relationship isn’t stress, exhaustion, or mismatched libidos… but your phone? In this week’s episode, we’re…
- Pillow Talks
E234: Tie Breakers: Passwords, Period Sex, and Passenger Princesses (We’re Settling It Once and for All)
This week we’re bringing back one of our favorite games, Tie-Breakers! You sent in the recurring arguments that pop up again and again in your relationship —…
- Pillow Talks
E233: Our Most Viral Tips (That Actually Changed People’s Sex Lives)
Whether you’ve been with us from the start or just found the podcast, this episode is basically a cheat sheet for a better sex life. We pulled together the…
- Pillow Talks
E232: Trick or Treat: The Bedroom Edition
This week’s episode is a little spooky, a little silly, and a whole lot of sexy. Since Halloween is tomorrow, we’re bringing you a “Trick or Treat: Smash or…
- Pillow Talks
E231: When Life Gets Heavy (A Personal Update)
We’ve always promised to keep things real with you — the good, the messy, and everything in between. And lately… life has been life-ing. In this episode, we’re…
- Pillow Talks
E230 How to Actually Enjoy Oral Sex (Without Overthinking It)
Let’s talk about oral. We’ve all had those moments where oral feels way more awkward than arousing. You’re lying there, overthinking everything: Do I smell…
- Pillow Talks
E229: Ask A Sex Therapist: Swallowing, Fetishes, + Exes
Every week on Instagram, we host “Ask Us Anything” sessions. And honestly? We get way more questions than we could ever answer in stories. So today, we’re…
- Pillow Talks
E228: Breaking Down A Real-Life Text Fight (pt 2.)
You’ve been there: the dreaded text fight. One message gets misread, emotions spike, and suddenly you’re both typing paragraphs instead of actually talking. In…
- Pillow Talks
E227: Initiation: What You’re Getting Wrong And How To Get It Right
Hot take: when you finally get initiation right, your entire sex life opens up. Think about it. No more awkward “was that supposed to be a signal?” moments. No…
- Pillow Talks
E226: Foreplay Frustrations: How to Get More (and Better) Foreplay
Did you know that 64% of people say they want more foreplay than they currently get? And most people say they wish it was part of every sexual experience. No…
- Pillow Talks
E225: The Truth About Sex and Aging: Menopause, Erectile Dysfunction, and Libido
Aging is inevitable. But letting your sex life fade away? Nope. This week, we’re tackling one of our most requested topics ever: sex and aging. We’re answering…