Shows / Untoxicated Podcast
Episodes
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep134 – Owning Your Story with Deb
The loved ones of alcoholic are often compelled to keep the trauma of addiction a secret because the drinker has a lot to hide. By stifling their stories, the…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep133 – Sheri’s Return to Open-Minded Listening
During his active addiction and early sobriety, Matt never had an idea that Sheri was interested in hearing about. Whether it was his arrogance, his…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep132 – What are YOUR Needs?
If you are the loved one of an alcoholic, it may be hard to be truthful and authentic with your partner who is dealing with or recovering from addiction…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep131 – The Differences between Boundaries and Ultimatums
“You do what I tell you or else,” statements rarely work, and they create additional friction while weakening our relative positions in…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep130 – Disastrous Communication in the Aftermath of Addiction
More than anything else, recovering a relationship from alcoholism is a huge communication problem. And it isn’t just a problem with the words we choose…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep129 – Regret is where the Shame Lives
For alcoholics, there is a direct relationship between the shame from past behaviors, and a tangible liquid called alcohol. For the loved ones of alcoholics…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep128 – Love Hurts: Pain Inflicted Between Generations
Do you remember a correction, disciplinary action or criticism from years or decades ago that still hurts? We bet the person who delivered those words…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep127 – The Power of Speaking Your Truth
There is an enormous relief that comes with shining a light into the dark corners and letting the truth be heard. And it is more than emotional and mental…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep126 – Surviving the Silence with Kate
Active alcohol addiction is not always loud and chaotic. Sometimes, the silence of the person suffering the pain of addiction causes a different kind of…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep125 – How did Addiction and Sobriety Feel for Sheri?
Experiencing the addiction and early sobriety of a loved one can feel painful, lonely, chaotic, traumatic, isolating and terrorizing for the spouses of…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep124 – Conquering the Two Pitfalls of Early Sobriety
The healing that comes for some in the recovery from alcoholism is the result of hard work. We have to want sobriety for ourselves, and not to appease someone…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep123 – The “Hot Mess” of Intimacy in an Alcoholic Relationship
Trust and alcoholism can’t coexist. Intimacy is impossible without trust and vulnerability. So, alcoholism and intimacy are mutually exclusive. If you…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep122 – The Pain of “Helpful Advice” that Hurts with Dawn
Our family and our friends mean well when they give us advice about our alcoholic marriages. The problem with well-meaning advice from people who have never…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep121 – The Blame Game Keeps Us Stuck
As an active alcoholic, Matt put a lot of the blame for their dysfunctional marriage on Sheri. In early sobriety, he blamed himself for the overwhelming shame…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep120 – Hard-Earned Tears with Kathy
“I look at the face that looks back at me from the mirror, and it’s jarring. I look like I’ve aged ten years in just this last one. But…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep119 – Beware of the Inevitable Letdown
The week after Christmas offers lots of threats to sobriety and mental health. Family tension, financial strain, an overbooked calendar, and festive…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep118 – Risks of Making All the Decisions
Sometimes, like in Matt’s case, high-functioning alcoholics are also control-freak assholes. Other times, people who abuse alcohol withdraw leaving all…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep117 – Society’s Tolerance for Bad Behavior
“You sure did have a good time at the Christmas party, Matt.” When he was actively drinking, Matt heard statements like that more than a few times…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep116 – Healing from the Fatal Scars of Alcoholism with Dusti Shay
Just over a year after her husband took his own life while firmly in the grasp of alcohol addiction, Dusti Shay is ready to tell her story for the benefit of…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep115 – Saving Alcoholics and Loved Ones with Christina Veselak
Christina Veselak is a mental health nutritionist, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and a licensed psychotherapist who founded the Academy for…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep114 – Thanksgiving Dread, Drinks and Drama
Alcohol plays such a prominent role in the Thanksgiving celebrations in our society that the holiday deserves a conversation all its own. On this episode…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep113 – Prodependence with Dr. Robert Weiss
Sheri and Matt welcome Dr. Robert Weiss, the author of Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, to the Untoxicated Podcast. Dr. Rob has his PhD (he did his…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep112 – We Can’t Nurture Success with Negativity
How do we expect positive outcomes in recovery when all of the language we use has a negative orientation? Stop drinking. Fix your spiritual deficiency…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep111 – Haunting Memories of Alcoholic Halloweens
Halloween specifically, and autumn in general, is a season with high rates of relapse and drunken trauma. We are intentionally releasing this episode about…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep110 – The Stigma of Codependency with Dawn
There is no doubt that the loved ones of alcoholics are victims, and that they require healing from the disease as the second-hand drinkers. But the label…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep109 – Joyless Recovery and Underlying Issues
The first year of his permanent sobriety, Matt felt like shit. It wasn’t for lack of recovery effort. His pleasure neurotransmitters that had been…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep108 – Sex with Sheri and Matt
When Sheri and Matt were seeking expert advise on restoring intimacy and growing closer together in their post-alcoholic marriage, they turned to the…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep107 – The Weight of Unnecessary Decisions
Have you, or has someone you love, ever been absolutely determined to be done with alcohol in the morning, only to be drinking that very same evening? One of…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep106 – Confronting and Traversing the Storms with Liz
The popular misperception of an alcoholic marriage is that it always comes down to a frustrated wife trying to decide if she will divorce her alcoholic…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep105 – Disconnected: The Needs of a Couple in Recovery
When Matt thought he most needed Sheri’s support and sympathy while he was in early sobriety, Sheri was detached and focused on her own healing and…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep104 – Compassionate Relationship Recovery with Karen
Success stories are too rare when it comes to recovering a marriage from the ravages of alcoholism and the challenges of recovery. We are so pleased to have…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep103 – Impact of Gaslighting
The loved ones of alcoholics almost always experience gaslighting – the manipulative conversations alcoholics use to normalize excessive drinking. On…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep102 – The Worry Hole: Cause or Result of High-Functioning Alcoholism
Worrying about stuff seems a common characteristic of high-functioning alcoholics. The object of concern can be work related, a family matter, or frankly, just…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep101 – Relationship Relapse Part 2
We received so much feedback about “Ep99 – Seven Fourteen Twenty-One: Relapse“, that Sheri and Matt felt compelled to address it in this…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep100 – A Recorded Session of Our Echoes of Recovery Group
100! This is episode 100! What better way could there be to celebrate than by hosting the people the podcast is for, and who inspire the topics we discuss. For…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep99 – Seven Fourteen Twenty-One: Replapse
No alcohol, nor any other drugs, were involved in the making of this episode. This is about a relationship relapse back into the pit of hell. It is said that…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep98 – Relaxation: Overshooting the Mark with Alcohol
On this episode, Sheri and Matt discuss another way to breakdown alcoholism into two components. Alcohol creates arrogant, rude, unsatisfied drinkers who…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep97 – Grace in the Hurricane with Sarah
Warning: Ep97 includes discussions about suicide and domestic violence. Sarah was born last of six siblings in a house dominated by alcoholism and other mental…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep96 – Soberaholic: Work is the New Alcohol
Sobriety has brought improvement to the lives of Sheri and Matt and their family, but it has created a whole new set of problems, too. Matt is now reliable…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep95 – Is My Spouse’s Alcoholism My Fault?
There are a variety of reasons an alcoholic blames his drinking on his spouse. Matt should know. He consistently blamed his alcoholism on Sheri for all the…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep94 – Be Careful…You Might get what You Wished For
On this episode, Sheri and Matt discuss the changes in mood and family involvement for Matt in sobriety compared to active alcoholism. Increased input and…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep93 – Vacations and Holidays in an Alcoholic Relationship
When Matt was actively drinking, Sheri had to deal with three unappealing characteristics of her alcoholic husband when on vacations or celebrating holidays…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep92 – Progress and Laughter with Nickie and Josh
Nickie knew she and Josh had relationship problems. When he first declared himself an alcoholic, she couldn’t believe it. She didn’t want to even…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep91 – Safety to Speak Your Truth
Rebuilding trust in an alcoholic relationship requires sobriety, and it requires time. There are no shortcuts, but there are things we can do to create a safe…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep90 – Your Communication Problem is Really a Competition Problem with Abby Medcalf
Sheri and Matt welcome Dr. Abby Medcalf to the podcast. Abby is an author, a podcast host, a speaker, a psychologist, a recovery survivor, and has over 30…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep89 – Trust Starts with Predictability
All the loved ones of alcoholics want is peace, stability and predictability. How do you think that meshes with the wildly swinging pendulum of euphoria and…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep88 – Surviving the Progressive Decline with Toby
Do you ever look at your spouse and wonder what they are thinking or how their drinking spiraled the way it did? Have you ever wanted to tell your story, but…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep87 – Getting Unstuck when You’re Deep In It
People almost universally believe what they are going through is unique when they are deep in the trauma and stress of an alcoholic marriage. Sadly, being deep…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep86 – Why are We Together?: The Subtle Discovery of Sobriety
Sheri took Mother’s Day off from recording this episode, so Matt spends a lot of time talking about her…in endearing terms. Our listeners will…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep85 – The Mental Health of Mediocracy
Most people are aware of the violent swings in the emotional and behavioral highs and lows of active alcoholism. What surprises many is the self-medication…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep84 – My Alcoholic Lies: Innocent or Evil?
When Matt was in top form as an alcoholic drinker, he was also extremely proficient as a lier and gaslighter. And yet, with piles of evidence to the contrary…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep83 – Our Own Worst Enemies: Triggers and Solutions
Beating ourselves up when feeling less than worthy is a common part of the human experience. Once culture and society warp our childhood innocence, our…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep82 – Stuck Behind Booze on the Alcoholic’s Priority List
From taking the family to see ice skating princesses, to venturing into the wooded mountains to cut down a Christmas Tree, Matt was all about spending time…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep81 – 5 Universalisms of HFAs thru the Eyes of the Loved Ones
Universalisms: Things we believe to be virtually universal as we grow in our understanding of how alcohol impacts brains and relationships. Here are five…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep80 – Breaking the Cycle of Codependence with Jessica
As the daughter of an alcoholic, Jessica had plenty of experience with codependence. When her husband’s drinking was spiralling out of control, she had…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep79 – Why the Shame of Early Sobriety Wrecks Marriages
Early sobriety is full of shame for high-functioning alcoholics. Often, the spouse has a very hard time understanding the depths of the shame. In this episode…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep78 – ComYoukneekashon Mistakes
Sheri and Matt agree that the single greatest barrier to loving recovery that most couples face when trying to yank their alcoholic marriages out of the ditch…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep77 – Connecting Trauma and Health with Catherine Craig
Catherine Craig (LSCSW, 1000YT) joins Sheri and Matt to talk about Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE Study), attachment theory and the trauma of experiencing…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep76 – Introducing the Marriagevolution
The third section of our book, soberevolution: Evolve into Sobriety and Recovery Your Alcoholic Marriage, is all about saving your marriage from the…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep75 – We Are Recovery with Anna and Mitchell
Mitchell is a gratefully recovering addict of everything (and more of everything), and Anna is the wife of an addict in recovery who is recovering from…