Shows / ask a sub
ask a sub
Ask a Sub is an advice podcast for the kink-curious to take themselves from dreaming to doing. Our host Lina Dune is bringing wellness kink to the masses, and equipping every would-be kinkster with the tools to become their own BDSM BFF.
Episodes
- ask a sub
65. Dating Your Intuition
How can you date again after a D/s relationship turns abusive? You start by dating your intuition. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community…
- ask a sub
64. Committed And Kinky
A listener calls in after someone told them saying they are kinky means they are probably not looking for anything serious. Obviously this is not true, but…
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63. Everyone Is Grieving
I've been through some shit lately and wanted to share the ways people have supported me so you can support those in your life who are also going through shit…
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62. Accessible Glory Holes with Andrew Gurza
Disability advocate, sex toy creator, and host of Disability After Dark Andrew Gurza joins us to talk all about non-binary identity, dating while disabled, and…
- ask a sub
61. The Veto Blues
A sub is concerned that her Dom's wife is going to veto their dynamic and wonders how she can modify her behavior to make the wife more comfortable. Lina talks…
- ask a sub
60. The 24/7 D/s Buffet
So you've got somebody to do 24/7 with - great! Now how the hell do you narrow down all the options and create a bespoke practice just for you? Lina walks a…
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59. Neurospicy & Ready To Party
This week a caller on the autism spectrum and his partner with ADD wonder if there is a link between kink and neurodivergence. Let's talk about it! To support…
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58. Kinky Divorced Moms Deserve A Win
Due to unforeseen circumstances (we got COVID), in lieu of this week's scheduled episode please enjoy this rerun of a season 2 favorite. Lina interviews a…
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57. What Is Humiliation Anyway?
First Lina delivers a hot take about how women who sleep with men can become marginalized within kink, then teases out the difference between humiliation and…
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56. Dovetailing Purity Culture Into Kink
We're back! And we're kicking purity culture in the pants!! Get info about the Friday 1/26 Deep Dive here! To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub…
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55. You Do Not Have To Be Good
A sub calls in asking how to make amends for past mistakes. Spoiler alert: you do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert…
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54. Bloodlust & SW Labor Rights with Empress Wu
The words filth and perversion barely begin to scratch the surface of what's on offer in this interview with Empress Wu and her singular penchant for scenes…
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53. What If I Don't Have Hard Limits?
A sub is concerned about sending the wrong message when telling Doms she doesn't have hard limits. What to do? To support the pod and join our thriving ask a…
- ask a sub
52. Hot Bisexual Takes with Gab Alexa
Bisexual polyamorous writer Gab Alexa joins me to discuss bi-erasure, queer baiting, and her spicy time at the infamous swinger's retreat Hedonism. Join…
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51. A Thanksgiving Pep Talk
Hey, it's your real life calling! The one where you're not sleeping on an air mattress in a musty basement bracing yourself to hear your Uncle Jim's conspiracy…
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50. What Is A Play Party?
A listener wants to know the answer to a so-called googleable question - what the heck is a play party, exactly? Lina answers & gives tips on navigating these…
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49. Sub On The Street: Folsom 2023
Get more Folsom info from this pamphlet. Special thanks to Cactus Cult Leather, BunnyLeather.com, Sylvan and Milton, SF K9 Unit, Bay Area Open Minds, The…
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48. Goodest Girl Syndrome
Are you or a loved one affected by Goodest Girl Syndrome, aka the desire to be the absolute best in comparison to all your partner's other partners past…
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47. A Freak Behind The Lens: Photographer Alex Kacha
This month's Deep Dive was with boudoir photographer and all around artiste Alex Kacha. We discussed self care, the healing gaze of the camera, and of course…
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46. Comparison Versus Compersion
A sub loves the play parties she attends with her Dom, but is struggling with watching him play with his primary partner. Can this cozy polycule find a way…
- ask a sub
45. Learning From Our Elders & The History of Bootblacking with KD Diamond
Follow KD: Instagram | Website Follow Kink Out: Instagram | Website Get KD's bootblacking starter kit recs here. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a…
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44. Bratty & Broken Hearted
What do you do when a very special dynamic leaves your life? This week a broken-hearted brat wants to know how to move on in the wake of a great love lost…
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43. The Origins Of The Folsom Street Fair
Cue up some disco and put on your finest assless chaps, because we're reviewing the history of The Folsom Street Fair, then we're taking a walking tour of the…
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42. Your Pelvic Floor Doesn't Wanna Hustle with Dr. Rachel McCarthy-Moya
If you're reading this, you have a pelvic floor! And Dr. Rachel McCarthy-Moya is here to tell you all about it. Listen for her take on kegels (do less of…
- ask a sub
41. A Red Flag Refresher
A refresher on red flags and the radical notion that you don't have to put up with assholes to get your kink needs met. To support the pod and join our…
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40. Keeping Your Polyam Foot On The Floor
Thoughts on respecting all the connections in your polyamorous ecosystem when the sub swoons come calling. Our next Deep Dive is on 9/12 at 3pm with pelvic…
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39. Kink For Hard Times
A listener wants to know how to navigate putting a dynamic on pause when one partner is Going Through It, and Lina offers ideas about boundaries and points of…
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38. A Blank Check For Semen with Vienna Farlow the Cuntsultant
Vienna Farlow The Cuntsultant dropped by for an interview about the Fertility Awareness Method and the weird shift from not wanting to get pregnant to wanting…
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37. Healthy Conflict But Make It D/s
This week we're talking about how to approach conflict in a way that honors your D/s dynamic. So few of us have learned any strategies for respectful conflict…
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36. Moving The Masochistic Goal Posts with Leigh Cowart
Hurts So Good author Leigh Cowart joined me for a conversation about pervertibles, aka making kink tools out of what you've got on hand! We also talked about…
- ask a sub
35. Smooth Brain As Resistance
A new kinkster asks Lina about the "empty headed feeling" that follows her scenes, and Lina explains how subby headspace can be anti-capitalist… and good for…
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34. Internet Censorship with Evie Lupine
Have you noticed online is just getting worse and worse? This week, kink celebrity and YouTuber Evie Lupine joins me to talk about how kinky people have seen…
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33. The Drop-Proof D/s Goodbye
Sometimes parting is just too much sorrow! This week Lina equips a listener with a strategy for lessening the blow of transitioning back into vanilla life…
- ask a sub
32. Kinky Divorced Moms Deserve A Win
Lina interviews a listener who got in touch to share the story of her custody battle with her sex-negative ex-husband, and the unexpected win that arrived at…
- ask a sub
31. Kinky Cohabitation
A sub calls in wondering how to maintain a 24/7 spark when sometimes all you wanna do is curl up on the couch and cuddle. Spoiler alert: kink and the couch may…
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30. Gender Neutral Means Of Address
Trying to keep your kink gendy-neutch? Means of address can go a long way in creating that euphoric safe space for you. This week we're bringing you some Pride…
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29. Don't Fear The Fluidity
Lina comforts a listener who's seeking insight into the parallels between bi+ and non-monogamous identities. Lina also takes a second to address the difference…
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28. Radical Bisexual Permission with Zachary Zane
Zachary Zane, author of Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto stopped by to talk about bisexual sluttiness, rejecting bi assimilationism, and his hairy butthole. We…
- ask a sub
27. Bi Girl Desire
Sometimes it can be hard for us bi girls to name what we want and go after it, and this week Lina is unpacking all the varying forces that go into this common…
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26. Bisexual It Girl Vita Sackville-West
A bi-for-bi open marriage, crossdressing, and a series of passionate artistic love affairs — no, it's not 2023, it's 1923! On this month's pride minisode I'm…
- ask a sub
25. 2 Doms 1 Sub
A Dom calls in wondering how to navigate his sub's dynamic with another Dom, and Lina talks about primary partner veto, as well as the ins and outs of…
- ask a sub
24. All About Us with the Ask A Sub Community
Hear all about the varied kink lives of our ask a sub community! From single folks to people married with kids, kink is a living, breathing practice that meets…
- ask a sub
23. Good Doms Are Out There
This week we're naming and confronting the pessimism that makes us think all potential sex partners are trash, then discussing what good, real Doms are…
- ask a sub
22. The Sexual Is Political
Today we're reclaiming our erotic power and studying a holy trinity of queer feminist writers: Adrienne Rich, Audre Lorde, and Gloria Anzaldúa. Join our free &…
- ask a sub
21. The Polyamory Cool Kids Table
A new sub wants to know how to manage jealousy when you're monogamous and your partner isn't. Aka, where is your place in the kink community if not at the…
- ask a sub
20. Body Love & Healing Your Gaze with Luna Matatas
Join me and Luna Matatas for a discussion all about cultivating body confidence in a messed up world! Get the rest of my interview with Luna here. Find Luna…
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19. We Are Always Evolving (And So Are Our Needs)
A sub wants to know how to communicate their changing needs in a longterm relationship, and Lina equips them with proactive, active, and reactive tools for…
- ask a sub
18. A Taste For Suffering
A tour through the literary origins of masochism, as well as some modern mythbusting for the masochistically inclined. Get my full interview with Leigh Cowart…
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17. Read! The Freakin!! Article!!!
Today we're tackling the question of how to share kink resources with vanilla people you encounter in your dating travels, strategies for protecting your…
- ask a sub
16. Herpes Hope & Hotness with Safe Slut
Safe Slut joined me to tell me all about her dating life as an HSV+ queen, shared her thoughts on disclosure, and gave us some insight into her first date…
- ask a sub
15. Gender Is Fake, Aftercare Is Real
A sub wants to know how to bring forward feminine energy and suppress the masculine during aftercare. Lina's response? Gender is fake, privilege is real, and…
- ask a sub
14. 1970s Leather Culture: "A Very Happy Place To Be"
Cue up some disco and put on your finest assless chaps, we're taking a walking tour through the heart of leather culture in the 1970's - San Francisco's South…
- ask a sub
13. Don't SUBlimate Your Feelings
Today's episode is all about feeling your feelings. One sub asks whether it's possible to introduce kink to her partner in a non-sexual context, while another…
- ask a sub
12. Brat Motivations with Lola Jean
On this month's Deep Dive interview, Brat Whisperer Lola Jean joins me to talk all about how to find your inner brat and, more importantly, negotiate the…
- ask a sub
11. Your Shiny Orb Of Subby Selfness
Lina ponificates on curating kinky community beyond the algorithm, then stands at the crossroads with a listener who wants to go from book learning to street…
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Season Two Coming Soon
New weekly episodes of ask a sub coming 2/17. Send your voice memo questions, comments, prompts, anecdotes and success stories to podcast@askasub.com
ask a subDEEP DIVE: Mindful Masculinity and Dominance
Masculinity and Dominance - some say they cannot peacefully coexist. But the men and masc-identifying folks of the ask a sub discord community say different…
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DEEP DIVE: Finding A Sex-Positive Therapist with Rachel Wright
Every wondered how to find a good therapist? And actually get your needs met by said therapist? What about sleeping arrangements for your 4 person polycule?…
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DEEP DIVE: Leigh Cowart Wrote The Book On Masochism
It's official! Once we hit 2K subscribers on Patreon the Ask A Sub podcast is coming back full force! In the meantime I want to share a teaser of a series I'm…
- ask a sub
DEEP DIVE: Creative Scene Planning with Cory Bush and Adam Rei Siegel
It's official! Once we hit 2K subscribers on Patreon the Ask A Sub podcast is coming back full force! In the meantime I want to share a teaser of a series I'm…