Shows / Life Over Coffee
Life Over Coffee
Rick launched the Life Over Coffee global training network in 2008 to bring hope and help for you and others by creating resources that spark conversations for transformation. His primary responsibilities are resource creation and leadership development, which he does through speaking, writing, podcasting, and educating. In 1990 he earned a BA in Theology and, in 1991, a BS in Education. In 1993, he received his ordination into Christian ministry, and in 2000 he graduated with an MA in…
Episodes
Life Over CoffeeYou Can Experience Rest If You Give Up What You Want
There is a strange comfort in clinging to what we want, even if it exhausts us. The human heart has a way of fastening itself to desires with a tenacity that…
- Life Over Coffee
Four Essential Elements to a Well-grounded Life
Every person is ruled by something. It doesn’t matter how independent you believe yourself to be, how educated you are, how seasoned in ministry you feel, or…
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A Few Thoughts On an Unchangeable Situation
There are few things more exhausting to the human soul than waking up morning after morning in a situation that will not budge. When a person becomes convinced…
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The Wisdom of Revealing and Concealing the Truth
Truth is a delicate instrument. It can heal or hurt, restore or rupture, illuminate or overwhelm. It is never neutral, and it is never powerless. God designed…
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Three Things That Will Crush Your Faith
What is the main thing that governs your inner world on a typical Tuesday afternoon when nothing dramatic is happening—just normal life? When the email lands…
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The Vital Difference Between Godly and Worldly Sorrow
There are truths in the Christian life that do not merely provide information; they redirect the very trajectory of our souls. Among them is this single…
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Why Do I Do That? Can You Help Me?
Have you ever had that moment where you watch yourself behave, almost from the outside, and think, “Why in the world did I just do that?” Maybe it was a sharp…
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There Are Only Four Problems In Life For You To Solve
Most people live as though their lives contain a thousand different problems, all unique, tangled, and unmanageable. They believe their story is so unusually…
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When You Can’t See What You Need to See
One of the most damaging misunderstandings in today’s church is the belief that a personal relationship with God is meant to be a private one. Many Christians…
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You Can Do Better Than a Bible Study- Spend Time with God
Have you ever stopped long enough to think about the difference between spending time with God and simply doing a Bible study? At first, those two things may…
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Why Can’t I Have My Life the Way I Want It, on My Terms?
Every person carries a vision—spoken or unspoken—of the life they hope to live. It forms early and grows quietly. Sometimes it begins in childhood with…
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Church Discipline- How to Help a Person Get Right with God
Every discipler eventually faces this sobering dilemma: What do you do when a professing Christian refuses to walk with God? Not someone ignorant of the…
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When Is Enough, Enough? The Hardest Thing You Will Ever Do
Every shepherd eventually faces this gut-wrenching reality: not everyone you care for will choose life. Not everyone you disciple will walk in wisdom. There…
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What to Do When Counseling Is Not Going Anywhere
One of the hardest realities you have to face as a discipler is this: not everyone you meet with will change even when you are saying the right things, using…
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I Need Help Counseling a Stubborn Couple
Every discipler eventually discovers the hard truth: you cannot change anyone. You can teach, plead, warn, comfort, rebuke, exhort, and patiently walk…
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How to Help Someone Who Does Not Want to Help Himself
Some of the most emotionally draining people to love are those who simply will not help themselves. You pour into them. You warn them. You plead with them. You…
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Number One Key When Working Through Relational Conflict
The greatest obstacle in relational conflict is rarely the issue at hand. It is the condition of the heart engaging the issue. Before you step into any…
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The Problem with Caring Too Much or Over-Caring for Others
Loving people is the right instinct for any Christian. Scripture calls us to bear one another’s burdens, to weep with those who weep, to encourage the…
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Tips On Helping the Person Who Does Not Want Help
Every Christian eventually meets the ache of watching someone they love walk away from wisdom. Maybe it’s a child making reckless choices, a friend entangled…
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The Hardest But Best Way to Help Someone Change
Whenever you sin in response to what you are not getting from someone—even when that thing you want is good—you step into a dangerous place. The desire itself…
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Understanding Someone Is Work, But the Only Way to Build Well
Understanding another person is sacred work. It is slow, deliberate, heart-level labor, the kind that requires patience, curiosity, and a humble approach. You…
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How to Find Comfort Knowing You Can’t Change People
Few things in the Christian life are as painful as watching someone you love refuse to change. You see the danger, you hear the excuses, you offer wisdom, and…
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Why Should I Disciple If God Has to Grant Repentance First?
One of the most stretching and mysterious questions you’ll ever face as a disciple-maker is the tension between God’s sovereignty and human responsibility. How…
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How to Change, Chapter 9: What Is Christian Maturity?
Let’s say that you’re discipling someone. You’ve walked with them through the doctrine of repentance, Scripture, and prayer. You’ve listened, guided, prayed…
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The Truth about Repentance Is You Can’t Make It Happen
If Chapter One was about how people change—through the kindness of God—then this chapter is about who changes them. The short answer: not you. That statement…
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How to Change, Chapter 8: Will I Ever Be Free?
You have a recurring temptation. It won’t go away. It follows you into prayer, shadows you in worship, and occasionally whispers even during moments of joy…
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How to Change, Chapter 7: Eight Sequential Change Steps
One of the most blessed things about the gospel is the transformation it brings. One of the most challenging things about the gospel is how elusive that…
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The Most Powerful Way to Help Someone Change
Your friend needs to change. You love them and want to help, but you’re unsure how to help them change. Perhaps your husband is stuck in a bad habit, and the…
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How to Change, Chapter 5: Two Essentials for Change
Transformation does not happen automatically or mysteriously. It’s not the by-product of time, church attendance, or even prayer by itself. Change requires…
Life Over CoffeeWhen the Gospel Becomes the New Legalism
The word gospel has been the most celebrated word in evangelicalism for many years. It has become the centerpiece of countless sermons, books, podcasts, and…
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How to Change, Chapter 4: How Do I Know I Have Changed
The transformation process is not mysterious, though it often feels hidden. Many Christians experience a deep frustration because they see little progress in…
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How to Change, Chapter 3: How to Change
One of the more surprising things I’ve learned from decades of counseling is that the average Christian does not know how to change. We know how to confess…
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Investigating Legalism—Where in the World Is Worldliness?
What is worldliness, and where do you find it? Your answer to that question will shape your entire Christian life. It will influence how you worship, how you…
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How to Change, Chapter 2: Making Life Hard on Yourself
Every time we sin, a response is required. God calibrated our consciences that way; we have an internal moral thermostat that sends out a signal each time we…
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Ten Things to Know Before You Can Help Someone
Talking about change and being willing to change are not the same things. Most people can talk a good game when the pressure is on. They know the vocabulary of…
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I Am a Saved Legalist Who Struggles with Depression
Do you believe God sends people to hell, or do you think hell is the result of people who reject God? The question is complex, and your answer will affect…
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When Marriage Breaks: Conclusion—Ten Anchors for Your Soul
Few battles cut deeper than the double blow of discovering your spouse has committed adultery and then facing the finality of divorce. Each one by itself can…
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When Marriage Breaks: Chapter 7—From Adultery to Restoration
The path to dysfunction is unmarked and hidden. Nobody knows they’re on it until it’s too late. There are subtle indicators, but we rarely discern them. One of…
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When Marriage Breaks: Chapter 6—Helping Your Offender
One of the hardest opportunities in the Christian life is learning how to help the very person who has hurt you. Everything in us recoils at the idea. The…
Life Over CoffeeMind Mapping Insecure Husband and Critical Wife
The dynamic of an insecure husband and a critical wife is one of the most common and deeply embedded relational patterns in marriage counseling. It’s a dynamic…
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When Marriage Breaks: Chapter 5—Surviving Adultery
There are not many experiences in life more perplexing, destabilizing, and agonizing than discovering that your spouse has committed adultery. It feels like…
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Mind Mapping a Marriage from Bad to Good
Our behaviors reveal our hearts. “By their fruit, you shall know them.” If you get a discerning handle on a person’s actions, you will begin to unearth clues…
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Mind Mapping Wisdom and Courage for Gossiping Friends
It is impossible to keep from talking about others behind their backs. We all do it in some form, whether casually, out of concern, or even in prayer. Thus…
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When Marriage Breaks: Chapter 4—Listening to Adultery
In the first three chapters, we explored the deceptive language of “emotional affairs,” the way secret sin hardens the conscience, and how hidden compromise…
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Mind Mapping a Lady with a Small God
The path to a small god begins in childhood. It winds down a dangerous path until it finds self-reliant living, which is always destructive to the individual…
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When Marriage Breaks: Chapter 3—Revenge of the Conscience
You don’t want to be a dull Christian. You don’t want to harden your conscience until it no longer feels or responds the way God designed it. Every believer…
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Mind Mapping the Best Marriage Help You’ll Ever Find
Many Christians mistakenly assume that as they learn to trust and obey God, a perfect marriage will naturally follow. The thinking often sounds like, “Isn’t a…
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When Marriage Breaks: Chapter 2— Fornicating While Dating
If you practiced fornication while dating, don’t be surprised when other sins surface in marriage—including adultery. Sin tolerated in seed form does not…
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Mind Mapping Chapter 1 Strategy for the Church
This chapter is a response to a friend who is working on his thesis requirement for his MA in Biblical Counseling. He asked my opinion on the necessity of a…
Life Over CoffeeIn Search of Significance- Biff's Story
When the gospel is no longer your practical, everyday center—when it ceases to be the functional anchor of your life, and you replace it with lesser things…
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When Marriage Breaks: Chapter 1—An Emotional Affair
What is an “emotional affair”? That phrase sounds common enough in our culture, but it does not belong inside a Bible-shaped framework. It is a term imported…
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You Have a Right to Be Comfortable in Your Own Skin
Imagine living unchained from the ever-shifting opinions of others. Picture a life where your thoughts are no longer shaped by the imagined or actual…
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Captive Desires: Chapter 10—How to Resist Porn Every Day
The fight against porn is likely to be a daily battle for the rest of your life, but that isn’t bad news. Not if you’re equipped, ready, and willing to engage…
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Breaking the Bondage of People Pleasing
God will fully receive anyone who accepts what Christ has done on their behalf. It’s an incredible, transformational exchange: Jesus takes all your sins and…
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You Cannot Need Someone and Love Someone Equally
Biffy was born into a dysfunctional home. He told me that he did not remember a time when his parents were not arguing. He is 14 years old, almost 15. He said…
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Captive Desires: Chapter 9—How to Break Free from Porn
In the last chapter, we saw that pornography isn’t just a behavior problem—it’s a false gospel, a counterfeit attempt to reclaim intimacy, beauty, and identity…
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The Natural Regression of a Woman
Everyone is a victim. Nobody escapes this life without experiencing hurt from others. The real question is not whether someone has hurt you but how you are…
Life Over CoffeeFussy Parents Make Insecure Kids
Parents are in a position of profound influence. With every word they speak, every tone they use, and every reaction they offer, they are either cultivating a…
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Captive Desires: Chapter 8—How to Think About Porn Biblically
There’s a constant stream of noise surrounding pornography—competing voices offering data, opinions, and solutions. Some emphasize brain science and addiction…
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When You Make Your Child Work for Your Affection
Children were never meant to earn affection. That idea didn’t come from God but from legalistic, conditional relationships. Christian parents are called to…