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Dating-over-40 advice by the Dating Goddess™
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Alpha male — or just jerk?
Is seems universal that people find confidence attractive. But at what point does self-assurance cross the line to arrogance and thus become unattractive? This…
Being Kermit
For decades men have been disparagingly referred to as frogs. The opposite of a prince. But what if you are being frog-like? Not in behavior, but in voice. As…
Are you like a Tootsie-pop?
“A Tootsie-pop? Really?” you say. You know, the kids’ treat. “How can I, an accomplished, midlife woman, be like a Tootsie-pop?”…
Dating resolutions for 2012
Resolutions are not just declarations of what you wish you could accomplish. They are firm decisions, according to the dictionary. So as we enter 2012, what…
Do you feel loved at the holidays?
The holidays can feel lonely if you don’t have someone with whom to enjoy the season. No matter what you celebrate — or maybe you don’t…
Men, dating and shiny objects
You’ve exchanged a few fun, interesting and engaging emails with a new guy from an online site. Maybe you’ve also had a satisfying phone call or…
Join special webinar w/DG and Dr. Suzanne Doyle-Morris
Finding and Dating Men Comfortable with a Female Breadwinner Dec 12m 12:00pm PST/3pm EST, 8pm GMT; 9pm CET$47/£29 In this frank and lively webinar, two thought…
Mr. Wong assists in search for Mr. Right
After a long search for your perfect match, you’d welcome help — any help — finding him. You’d do nearly anything to speed up your…
When the other woman is grandkids
Most of us would be hurt and disappointed if our man cheated with another woman. We would feel betrayed. But what if the object of our love’s attention…
Bali bound and special webinar
This week I’m off to Bali, then Singapore and Hong Kong. As usual when I travel, I will post anything I observe that relates to dating, but will also…
Does he make requests or demands?
You can tell a lot about someone’s mindset by his word choice. How does he express his thoughts? By conscious, considerate language? Or disrespectful…
The sex shark
Right or wrong, a popular belief about sharks is that they are always hungry; always on the hunt. I’ve come across men who seem to have a similar…
Finding happiness
At a recent closing conference luncheon, the next host country, China, provided beautiful scrolls with a different saying on each. There was no notation on the…
Do you see yourself as others see you?
Various studies have shown that few people see themselves as others see them. We tend to either overrate or underrate our attractiveness compared to…
The comedy of dating
We all have funny dating stories about our forays into the unpredictable world of dating. Often these are tales of dates gone bad. What if you had to tell…
Get your bad self on
Do you know how to feel sexy? This seems like an odd question for someone in midlife. But an attractive, midlife woman came up to me after I gave a talk at an…
Fun with Karel!
Saturday night’s interview with KGO radio’s outspoken Karel was fun. We talked about issues like Karel’s Third Date Rule, which is his…
Listen to DG on KGO radio Sat. night
Tune in Sat., Sept. 17 at 9:07 p.m. PST to hear me interviewed by Karel on KGO radio. Should be fun! The post Listen to DG on KGO radio Sat. night appeared…
Flash mob!
I believe that part of being successful in midlife dating is stretching one’s comfort zone. By doing activities you normally wouldn’t do, you gain…
Full-court press
While most women appreciate attention and a man expressing his interest, sometimes there can be too much too soon. Then it feels smothering or borderline…
“He likes to wear the pants in the relationship”
A good pal was telling me about a middle-aged, tall, athletic, single lawyer friend of his. I said, “He sounds like someone I’d like.” My…
When your net worth is bigger than his
Bev asks: “How does a woman over 50 whose divorce settlement made her a millionaire + handle dating when most men will not have anywhere near her net…
A suitor in every (air)port
My mother would refer to a single, traveling ladies’ man as someone who “had a girl in every port.” Just like many of the sailors she knew as…
Dance card unfilled
At my professional association conference last week I got a lot of attention. I was very visible in a number of sessions, so had a lot of people acknowledge my…
How much is too much initiative in dating?
Karen writes: “I am afraid I am too assertive. I start taking the lead when the man won’t or doesn’t. I see simple solutions (where and when…
Falling for potential
When we are younger, with our lives yet to be determined, we can fall in love with someone’s potential, not who they are at the moment. I know I have. A…
Relationship advice for the next generation?
I have two 23-year-old women in my life who are both in bad relationships. This is not only my perspective, but they, themselves, often complain about their…
Your naivete can hurt you
A friend shared that she was too naive after her decades-long marriage ended. She was clueless about not only how to be with men other than her now-ex-husband…
To play games or not?
Deb writes: “I have had 4 dates with one man and I find him very interesting, funny, smart and a gentleman. How do I tell if he is really interested in…
Somethin’ somethin’ on the side
A recent conversation with a guy pal was startling. He’s a smart, goal-oriented, ethical, solid-morals, middle-class guy. So I assume he hangs out with…
Following a man’s lead
Since my divorce, I’ve had a fear of dance classes. Not because I’m concerned about following the steps — I’m reasonably adept at that…
Are you trying to date men who think they are hotter than they are?
He’s got a comb over, beer belly, and has donned a wrinkled shirt. Yet he thinks he’s James Bond. George Clooney. God’s gift to women. Why?…
Dipping into salsa
Salsa — a spicy dip and a spicy dance. My latest experience is with the latter. Dr. Philling myself, I asked how online dating was working for me…
I want to date his family
It’s a bit awkward when someone you’re newly getting to know invites you to a casual family event and you end up hitting it off with his family…
Two-step for one
Yee-haw! Country Western dancing. Let’s go! This was my feeling as I decided to try something new, a bit out of my comfort zone, in my quest to…
“I don’t know if my equipment still works!”
While munching sushi and margaritas, the sweet, 62-year-old widower shared his concern as we discussed dating. His wife of 3 decades had died 18 months ago and…
Casual sex
His online profile mentioned that he loved sex, something that is usually a yellow flag as it says the man doesn’t have much of an appropriateness…
Authenticity vs. strategic phoniness
I was listening to my friend Mike Robbins speak to a group about his newest book on authenticity, Be Yourself. Everyone Else is Already Taken: Transform Your…
Is he selling too hard?
“You’ll never meet another guy like me” he said confidently during our first phone call. I refrained from saying “Duh. Everyone’s…
Royal wedding — good or bad for midlife daters?
I’ve just returned from the royal wedding. Well, not the wedding itself, as my invitation must have gotten lost in the post. However, I let it be known…
Love advice from a Frenchman
A few days ago, over a pain au chocolat in Paris, my French friend Benoit shared relationship advice. While it was something I’d heard before, somehow…
The benefits of flirting
I like to flirt. I don’t ever expect anything from it. I’m surprised if there is a benefit beyond just fun. This week I had an experience that…
Another radio interview
I was interviewed on Dr. Duffy Spencer’s “Just Relationships” radio show for two shows. Dr. Duffy is a lively interviewer. Each is 30…
A broad dating abroad
Do you sometimes feel you’ve explored all the eligible men in your area who meet your criteria? Perhaps you’ve modified your online searches and…
How to respond to dating rejection
We’ve all had it. None of us likes it. It stings, although sometimes it’s a relief. It’s hard to give and to receive. Rejection. So I have a…
“It doesn’t hurt to try”
You’ve heard this bromide from people who want to encourage others to be more bold, or to justify their own failed behavior. So does it hold true in…
What’s your no-kissing zone?
At the train station in Cheshire, England, officials erected a “No Kissing” sign since traffic stacked up while amorous lovers made out bidding…
What part of you is your date calling forth?
We like our friends, in part, because of who we are when we are with them. We feel we can relax and be our best self. Unlike how we feel when we are around…
DG on “Girlfriend We Gotta Talk” radio show
It was great fun to be interviewed for “Girlfriend We Gotta Talk” radio show which aired Sunday. Download the show to listen to our lively 1/2-hour…
Getting traction
Midlife singles often tell me that the biggest challenge with dating is getting a date in the first place. That isn’t what I see as the greatest…
How to make dating work for you
(Dear Readers: My fabulous former relationship counselor and friend Sonika Tinker has a teleseminar series and CD set I thought might interest you so I asked…
The long march toward a valentine
Our society drowns us in Valentine’s Day propaganda — cramming down our throats that if we have a sweetie we have to go all out to show our ardor. And by…
Deafening silence
An interesting man contacts you through a dating site, but he lives several states away. Even with the distance, you decide he’s intriguing enough to get…
The joy of boy toys
Younger men. Sometimes decades younger. Perhaps young enough to be your son. I’m not usually drawn to them because they are typically even more immature…
6 Ways to Get Love Right in 2011!
(Dear Readers: I knew my friend and relationship coach Amy Schoen was offering her telecourse this month so asked her to submit an article to let you know.) by…
Do you suffer from verbal diarrhea?
I had two dates recently with successful, nice, intelligent, educated men. However, I noticed something that I find extremely common in dating — they…
The activity partner
When your friends are all coupled and rarely want to do something social without their spouse, it can be hard to find activity buddies. Sure, there are singles…
Do you bust his … chops?
Men often show their connection by teasing and good-naturedly insulting each other. They can make pot shots about the other’s weight, thinning hair…
What was she thinking?
A 25-year-old woman agreed to meet — for the first time — a man she’d connected with through a dating site at his house at 9 p.m. to go out to dinner…
Thank you for using good manners
When leaving my exercise class at an elementary school auditorium, this sign caught my eye. It made me think it ought to be posted at coffee shops to remind…