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Dating-over-40 advice by the Dating Goddess™
Episodes
How soon is too soon?
General wisdom is to take some time to be alone after any relationship ends. The shorter the time in the relationship, the less time it takes to recover. I…
Stud finder
When I decided to hang a picture recently, I wished I had a stud finder to ensure the nail went into wood instead of just plaster. Then it hit me —…
Men underestimate women’s need to feel safe
We’d talked on the phone a few times but hadn’t met. It was early evening when we talked again and he said he’d love to take me to dinner…
Breakup a time to reassess
A midlife friend recently broke up with his girlfriend of 10 years. The reason he broke up with her is after a lot of soul searching and couples counseling, it…
Taking the hard way out
When you’ve decided you don’t want further contact with someone, it’s easy to ignore their phone calls, IMs, texts or emails. Perhaps you…
Sex talk too soon
A new man started pursuing me and after a few calls shared how much he liked me. I had made no sexual innuendos nor teasing, so was taken aback when he said…
Feeling smothered
When someone likes another, the “liker” wants a lot of contact with the “likee.” However, if the ardor isn’t equal, the likee can…
Setting boundaries vs. playing games
No one likes it when someone they are dating “plays games,” which is a nebulous description of someone trying to manipulate the other. (We’re…
Handsome men who don’t know it
Good-looking men are nearly always alluring. Some ruin it, however, when you spend time with them. Their good looks have made them arrogant, vain, insensitive…
Expensive gifts too soon
I would have never predicted that this would be a problem in dating. But it was — for a friend of mine. She was dating a few guys casually. On the fourth date…
What might have been
Sometimes we find ourselves thinking about someone we would have liked to date, but it never came to be. You wonder how it might have turned out. If he’s…
The keys to allure
Since humankind began, people have been trying to improve their allure. Yet it seems elusive for many, even though some elements seem obvious: Attractive…
A bad penny returns
I’d deleted his contact info everywhere I could find it after he broke up with me via text 2 years ago. I was surprised to receive that text, as our…
Full disclosure
A DG reader shared that he learned his last girlfriend was currently married only after he proposed when she said she was pregnant. It made me think of what…
A date with a shepherd
I am a bit of a profession snob, tending to eschew men who I don’t feel have a similar job status. I’m not proud of it, but it’s true…
Don’t let extra pounds slow you down
A reader wrote: “I am overweight — not morbidly obese but overweight. I mention in my profile that I am a bit overweight. I have yet to progress…
Dry spells
There are lulls in dating life when you have no active prospects. You’ve moved to the “friends” category anyone who’s contacted you in…
My online dating research
I’d read data that said 50% of men listed on dating sites never get one contact from women. Yet my experience is that men rarely respond to my being the…
Dating in the time of narcissism
I like to think of myself as a generally positive person, but I have my pet peeves. Self-absorption is one of them, although I’m guessing I can act in…
Rekindling a school-days sweetheart
Have you ever daydreamed about an old sweetheart from decades ago? What’s he up to now? Is he single? What’s he look like? If you connected, would…
Sex, ED, and the single midlife woman
A long-time reader asked me to address a sensitive, yet not uncommon midlife dating issue — middle-aged sex and erectile dysfunction. He asks, “How do…
The fix-up
Weeks ago my friend mentioned his brother was coming into town for a few days to celebrate my friend’s birthday. My pal said he’d like his brother to meet me…
Addressing kissing mismatch
Hi Dating Goddess, I’m dating someone I’m very attracted to, and we have lots of good chemistry on a variety of levels. The only issue I feel the…
Online dating behaviors studied
A recent article shared conclusions from researchers at UC Berkeley’s School of Information. The paper “Self-presentation and Deception in Online…
Beyond face value
In midlife dating, we repeatedly hear, “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover.” At this point in our lives most of us have wrinkles, sags…
Managing expectations
On our first date, as we walked to his car, he said, “I’ll open the door for you, but don’t get used to this.” I asked why…
Video vetting
“I will only date a woman who video chats” my tech-savvy friend declared. “What if she is like me, and doesn’t video chat because no…