Shows / Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Two comedians, one movie, and absolutely no guarantee of a sensible conversation. Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen chat about their weeks and whatever else is going on, before diving into a different movie every episode. Hilarious takes, questionable opinions, dark humour and plenty of unexpected tangents.
With a Patreon and Discord community, listeners can get involved, help choose the films and become part of the Absolute Cuts gang.
Episodes
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #91 : MISSION IMPOSSIBLE II
"This is not mission difficult, Mr. Hunt, it's mission impossible. 'Difficult' should be a walk in the park for you." Episode 91 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts # 90- SLITHER
"It's obvious the bastard's got Lyme disease" Episode 90 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2006 tentacle probing, bath…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #89 : STAND BY ME
"I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve" Episode 89 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1986…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #88 : TOMBSTONE
"I'm your huckleberry" Episode 88 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1993 lungering, opium tanning, pistol whipping classic…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #87 : DOGMA
"Snootch to the motherfuckin' nootch" Episode 87 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1999 fallen angel-ing, last scion-ing…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #86 : MISSISSIPPI BURNING
"You know what, Anderson? You're starting to get so far up my nose, I'm beginning to feel your boots on my chin!" Episode 86 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #85 : ROMEO MUST DIE
"Guns don't kill people. People kill people" Episode 85 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2000 xray showing, DMXing…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #84 : SHAUN OF THE DEAD
"You've got red on you" Episode 84 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2004 flesh eating, Mother shooting, Don't Stop Me…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #83 : AUSTIN POWERS INTERNATIONAL MAN OF MYSTERY
“Allow myself to introduce... myself.” Episode 83 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1997 shagadelicking, big bag of ssshhing…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #82 : THE LONGEST YARD
“You gotta always protect the McNuggets” Episode 82 of Absolute Cuts sees host Ryan Cullen and special guest host Daniel Sloss discuss the 2005 drunk driving…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #81 - THE QUEEN
"And remember, it's "Ma'am" as in "ham", not "Ma'am" as in "farm"." Episode 81 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2006 stag…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #80 - WHIPLASH
"Now were you rushing or were you dragging?" Episode 80 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2014 chair hurling, finger…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #79 - THE NAKED GUN
"Nice beaver" Episode 79 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1988 Queen first pitching, dual safe sexing, OJ Simpsoning classic…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #78 - THE SNAPPER
"I suppose a ride is out of the question?" Episode 78 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1993 Spanish sailoring, pints with…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #77 - BRIDGET JONES'S DIARY
"This is an occasion for genuinely tiny knickers." Episode 77 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2001 chain smoking…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #76 - ANACONDA
"The last time I was in water like this I had to stay up all night picking leeches off my scrotum" Episode 76 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #75 - SIGNS
"Swing away Merrill" Episode 75 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2002 crop circling, faith losing, half water drinking…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #74 - JOHN TUCKER MUST DIE
“I'd hit him with my car if he wouldn't make body casts a fashion statement" Episode 74 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #73 - SPEED
"Pop quiz hot shot” Episode 73 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1994 lift dropping, subway beheading, 50mph-ing classic…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #72 - THE NIGHT BEFORE (CHRISTMAS SPECIAL)
"Don't do my dad doggy-style. He's got very bad knees." Episode 72 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2015 Nutcracker Balling…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #71 - DIE HARD (CHRISTMAS SPECIAL)
"Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs" Episode 71 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1988 bare…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #70 - ELF (CHRISTMAS SPECIAL)
"SANTA" Episode 70 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the twirly wirly gum dropping, son of a nutcrackering, cotton headed…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #69 - HOME ALONE 2 : LOST IN NEW YORK (CHRISTMAS SPECIAL)
"Merry Christmas ya filthy animal...and a happy New Year" Episode 69 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1992 bird womaning…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #68 - THE BUSINESS
"Better to be someone for a day than no one for a lifetime." Episode 68 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2005 sheep…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #67 - FERRIS BUELLER'S DAY OFF
"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you might miss it" Episode 67 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #66- FIRST BLOOD
"I'll give you a war you wouldn't believe." Episode 66 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1982 vagrant arresting, mineshaft…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #65 - SEVEN PSYCHOPATHS
"You can't let the animals die in a movie, only the women." Episode 65 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2012 dog kidnapping…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #64 - WRONG TURN (Halloween Special)
"We are never going into the woods again" Episode 64 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2003 organ jarring, rednecking, in…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #63 - SCREAM (Halloween Special)
"What's your favourite scary movie?" Episode 63 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1996 Barrymore slashing, Arquette stabbing…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #62 - LETHAL WEAPON
"I'm too old for this shit" Episode 62 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1987 building jumping, bullet eating, mullet…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #61 - BILL & TED'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE
"69, dudes" Episode 61 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1989 most bodacious, most triumphant, most excellent classic Bill &…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #60 - DREDD
“I am the law” Episode 60 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2012 people skinning, ma ma-ing, slo-mo-ing classic Dredd. Mark…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #59 - CASINO
“In Vegas, everybody’s gotta watch everybody else.” Episode 59 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1995 card cheating, orange…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #58 - DEATH TRAIN
"I wonder who won Daytona" Episode 58 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1993, plutonium handling, Soviet Unioning, Alister…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #57 - MEET JOE BLACK
"You're not Death. You're just a kid in a suit." Episode 57 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1998 multiple car crashing…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #56 - THE COMMITMENTS
"So say it once, say it loud: I'm black and I'm proud" Episode 56 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the soul singing, Wilson…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #55 - 10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU
"What is it with this chick? She have beer flavoured nipples?" Episode 55 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the Shakespearing…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #54 - PREDATOR
"What's wrong Dillon, CIA got you pushing too many pencils" Episode 54 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the greased muscling…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #53 - THE SIXTH SENSE
"I see dead people" Episode 53 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the Donnie Wahlberging , twisty turning, cheese dicking classic…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #52 - GOAL
"My Father saw me play Fulham" Episode 52 of Absolute Cuts is the second of our Euros specials. This week's episode sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #51 - ESCAPE TO VICTORY
"This frigging game is ruining my life" Episode 51 of Absolute Cuts is the first of our Euros specials. This week's episode sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #50 - TRUE ROMANCE
"If there's one thing the last week has taught me, it's better to have a gun and not need it than need a gun and not have it." Episode 50 of Absolute Cuts sees…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #49 - BACK TO THE FUTURE
"I guess you guys aren't ready for that yet. But your kids are gonna love it." Episode 49 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #48 - LEON THE PROFESSIONAL
"I like these calm little moments before the storm." Episode 48 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1994 family slaying…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #47 - SEX AND THE CITY 2
"Lawrence of my labia" Episode 47 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2010 camel riding, gay weddinging, hot nanny obsessing…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #46 - GONE IN 60 SECONDS
"I always was a sucker for a redhead." Episode 46 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2000 Porsche jacking, Ferrari boosting…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #45 - SEX AND THE CITY
"I put a bird on my head." Episode 45 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2008 altar jilting, closet building, Vivienne…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #44 - THE KARATE KID
"Pain does not exist in this dojo, does it?" Episode 44 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1984, leg weeping, body bag…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #43 - IN BRUGES
"You're an inanimate f**cking object" Episode 43 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2008, sight-seeing, Canadian punching…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #42 - AIR FORCE ONE
"GET OFF MY PLANE" Episode 42 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1997, plane hijacking, Harrison Fording, shite CGI-ing…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #41- THE HANGOVER
"Not at the table Carlos" Episode 41 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2009, teeth pulling, tiger stealing, hooker marrying…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #40 - DONNIE DARKO
"Sometime I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion." Episode 40 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2001, world saving, portal…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #39 - BATMAN (1989)
"Gentlemen, let's broaden our minds." Episode 39 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1989, caped crusading, rhubarb rubbing…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #38 - AMERICAN HISTORY X
"People look at me and see my brother." Episode 38 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1999, kerb stomping, flag waving, shower…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #37 - MISSION IMPOSSIBLE
"Those damn Gideons" Episode 37 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1996, mask wearing, disavowing, NOC list stealing classic…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #36 - GOOD LUCK CHUCK
"I'd suck a fart out her asshole and hold it like a bong hit" Episode 36 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2007, frisbee…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #35 -ARMAGEDDON
"Requesting permission to shake the hand of the daughter of the bravest man I've ever met" Episode 35 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #34 - CASTAWAY
"Wilsonnnnnnnnn" Episode 34 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2000, parcel delivering, fire starting, raft building classic…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #33 - THE NOTEBOOK
"If you're a bird then I'm a bird" Episode 33 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2004, emotionally manipulating, care home…
- Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Absolute Cuts #32 - ANY GIVEN SUNDAY
"Either we heal as a team, or we’re going to crumble, inch by inch, play by play, til we’re finished." Episode 32 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and…