Shows / How To Make Love™
How To Make Love™
Unconventional recipes for love and liberation. In a world filled with hate, injustice, and despair, our sense of shared humanity depends on learning to MAKE radical, revolutionary, justice-centered love. Not find it, not fall into it. But intentionally create and wield it. Centering the voices of historically and culturally marginalized people, How To Make Love™ will provoke and challenge you to create your own recipe for and practice of making more love — in your life, and in the world. And…
Episodes
How To Make Love™122: "It is our divine birthright to have a soft landing." (ft. Jovian Zayne)
What does it mean to give yourself a soft landing when the world hasn't made room for one? My friend Jovian Zayne joins me to talk about her book, Soft…
How To Make Love™121: Acceptance ≠ Approval
Adulthood asks us to confront a difficult truth: life rarely unfolds the way we imagined. In this episode, laura explores the difference between acceptance and…
How To Make Love™120: How to Change Your mind
In this episode, we explore why truly living our values—like inclusivity, growth, and liberation—requires more than good intentions. It demands the…
How To Make Love™119: How to Love Without Villains
This episode is about the habit of making someone wrong—-and how quickly that instinct shapes the way we relate to each other. I'm asking what becomes possible…
How To Make Love™118: How to Stay Put
What happens after you let go of forced hope? No breakthrough. No surge of inspiration. Just life—continuing. In this quiet, honest episode building off of…
How To Make Love™117: How to Hope
How do you hope when there's no logical reason to? In this episode, we explore what hope really is—and what it isn't. Rather than treating hope as optimism…
How To Make Love™116: How to Rehumanize
What does it mean to stay human in a world that fuels disconnection, numbness, and productivity? This episode digs into everyday forms of dehumanization—and…
How To Make Love™115: Like the World is Already Free
laura reflects on the paradox of fighting for liberation while remembering we are already free. Through Buddhist practice, personal story, and practical tools…
How To Make Love™114: How to Despair
In this deeply human episode of How to Make Love, laura invites us to practice despair—not as defeat, but as an act of love and honesty. Together, we explore…
How To Make Love™113: How to Believe in Others—Especially When You Shouldn't
Let's explore the radical, often uncomfortable practice of believing in others—even when life, systems, and personal history give us every reason not to. This…
How To Make Love™112: How to Let Go
Letting go isn't often graceful, it tends to be gutting—and it might also be the truest path to liberation. In this episode, laura explores what it truly means…
How To Make Love™111: How to Not Know
What if certainty is (sometimes) a part of the problem? This episode unpacks how our need to know can prop up domination—and how embracing the skillfullness of…
How To Make Love™110: How To Fight
To fight or not to fight? And how? And against whom? Or for what? Join laura for a discussion about how to fight on behalf of love and justice differently…
How To Make Love™109: How to Love the World When You Hate the World
What do we do when we start to feel really embittered toward the world and the humans in it? How do we hold love and rage at the same time? How do we train in…
How To Make Love™108: What's Love Got To Do With It? (Inauguration Response)
Can love really go toe-to-toe with hate? If so, how do we train for it? What does love really have to do with today and the next four years? Come dig in. Join…
How To Make Love™107: the Revolution of Reinvention
In this episode, we explore the art of personal reinvention — what it means to choose change on your own terms and imagine new possibilities for your life…
How To Make Love™106: Self, Family, and Organizational Care During Election Week [Bonus Episode]
Join host laura brewer for discussion about practicing self, family, and organizational care during the upcoming weeks -- and how to prepare for it now…
How To Make Love™105: The Costs of Courage
We rarely confront the true costs of courage—social, emotional, physical, personal, professional. This episode unpacks why, despite the steep price, courage is…
How To Make Love™104: Love-Ability
Loveability is a mess. But love-ability? Now we're talking. Tune in to hear why shifting from "loveability" to "love-ability" might change your life, and the…
How To Make Love™103: "I needed to understand – why do you believe these things?" (ft. Jada Hebra)
How do we love people we really, really disagree with? Join today's guest Jada Hebra to hear her personal story of crossing a giant divide with her spouse. As…
How To Make Love™102: Celebrating 5 Years of Making Love
Happy Birthday/Anniversary to How To Make Love! 🎈 We're back after an extended sabbatical and ready to take on more making of the love, justice, courage, and…
How To Make Love™Minisode: Winter Love
The winter can pose unique challenges and opportunities to our practice of making love, courage, justice, and liberation. Tune in for a couple of things to…
How To Make Love™101: The Feelings of Freedom
There's the idea of freedom and the somatics of freedom. Today's episode tackles how and why we should learn to cultivate the sensations of freedom in our…
How To Make Love™100: Welcome to My/Your Crisis
Who's ready for a mid-life crisis?! Me! You? Come on in for a lovingly honest and personal conversation about those feelings of falling apart –– midlife, or…
How To Make Love™99: UNcontrol
Ethic. Process. Aspiration. Practice. Come learn what else UNcontrol is and means and why we should engage it in the work of personal and collective freedom…
How To Make Love™98: "Relationships are what have rescued me." (ft. Alli Myatt)
Belonging. Repair. Lines of difference. Today, guest Alli Myatt and I discuss radical relationships — especially at work. What makes them hard, what makes them…
How To Make Love™97: How To Be A Good Loser
Becoming a bad winner and a good loser is ... a little counterintuitive, to say the least. Learn how and why in this episode. And what all of that has to do…
How To Make Love™96: UNperforming
We all perform. We've all been socialized to perform. And: none of us are truly free in a performance. Today's episode will take you into the what, why, how of…
How To Make Love™95: "I didn't understand the toll that survivalism took on my Self." (ft. Chrystal Toop)
The path of healing is paved in UNlearning. In today's episode, we'll hear examples of what there may be to UNlearn and how that UNlearning has played out in…
How To Make Love™94: "You can't create without breaking something." (ft. Oceana Sawyer)
There is bracing. And there is breaking. In today's episode, learn why the latter is so essential to healing, to liberation, and to creation. Featuring the…
How To Make Love™93: How To Think
What's the thing that: a) humans do constantly, b) shapes our life in resounding ways, and c) we're never taught how to do? –– think. Our thoughts can be…
How To Make Love™92: 5 Essential Skills for Practicing Justice
What––for you––is the single most essential skill or tool right now in your practice of justice?––love?––courage? That's the question the podcast will invite a…
How To Make Love™91: Consent As A Way of Being
When we learn to think of consent as a way of being and a practice in ALL domains of our life, we expand the work of justice, liberation, and love. Join laura…
How To Make Love™90: Scarcity
Sometimes called 'scarcity thinking,' laura breaks down and reframes the notion of scarcity – what is is, where it comes from, and how to heal it. Tune in for…
- How To Make Love™
89: How To Make (Dis) Ease
Join laura for a conversation about how we make ease and how we erode ease in our personal relationships. Plus, we'll look at some common culprits (personal…
How To Make Love™88: The Shadow Side of Purpose
Purpose can be a guiding light. It can also be a dark shadow. But we rarely talk about the latter. We explore that conversation in this episode.
How To Make Love™87: Freedom From The Inside-Out
We can value freedom. We can treat it as an outcome. Or. And: we can train in making it our way of BEing. Resources from the podcast: Read My Grandmother's…
How To Make Love™86: How To Hold Your Bits Responsibly
No part of you is bad. And also: some of your bits likely create harm in the world. Find out why, how, and what to do about it. Send laura a question from the…
How To Make Love™85: How To Judge Other People
😮 Since we all judge other people, let's be sure we understand the whats, whys, and hows of it. Especially the hows that connect us to oppressive ways of being…
How To Make Love™84: How To Be Selfish
Most of us consider selfishness a bad thing...but what if that's an oppressive lie? Episode Resources: Link to become a patreon! Reflection Questions: How…
How To Make Love™Listener Question Minisode: feeling vs. inflaming emotions
laura tackles a listener question from episode 82: "How can you personally tell the difference between feeling an emotion and inflaming an emotion?" Do you…
How To Make Love™83: Consensual Expectations
High expectations can be helpful -- and they can create harm. For ourselves, and for others. How do we know the difference? What can be done to mitigate the…
How To Make Love™82: How To Feel Like Sh*t
Let's talk about the importance of feeling emotional pain and "negative" emotion in both our lives and in the work of justice. In this episode, you'll learn…
How To Make Love™81: How To Be Alive
Join host laura as we dig into the whats, whys, and hows of aliveness. What prevents us from being and feeling alive? What helps us be and feel alive? Access…
How To Make Love™80: BEing Gentle
Access the show notes page here: www.laurabrewer.love/episode80 Love How To Make Love? Return the love by writing a review on iTunes or joining our incredible…
How To Make Love™thank you ❤️
Thank you times a million. I'll see you for episode 80 in the new year. love. laura
How To Make Love™79: Your Own Adversary
Do you have your own back? Would you like to? If you'd like to explore working with laura to build a radical practice of self compassion, you can do that here…
How To Make Love™78: Impact > Intensity
We've all heard of 'intent vs. impact' -- but how are 'intensity' and 'impact' related? And does our intensity produce the impact we mean to have? If you'd…
How To Make Love™77: Listener Love Pick -- "Pleasure is at the heart of understanding how to get free." (ft. adrienne maree brown)
It's another listener love pick!--a listener-selected replay episode while we take a short October hiatus. Join guest adrienne maree brown for a conversation…
How To Make Love™76: Listener Love Pick -- "Do you love this person enough to be yourself & also change yourself?" (ft. Yolonda & Will Jones)
It's the first ever listening love pick!--a listener selected replay episode while we take a short October hiatus. Join former guest Yolonda Coles Jones and…
How To Make Love™75: Well-Resourced vs. Not Depleted
In today's episode, we will: Look at the inherent challenges and limitations with focusing on being not depleted; Understand why a focus on being…
How To Make Love™74: How To Courage
In today's episode, we will: Define courage -- unconventionally. And as a verb. Identify opportunities and obstacles to practicing courage. Hear a vulnerable…
How To Make Love™73: How To Feel Overwhelmed
Must of us don't feel overwhelm, we think overwhelm. Learn the difference in today's episode, and why it matters. You can find more info on the show notes…
How To Make Love™72: Love On Your Terms
Join laura for a discussion about the importance of defining and making love for yourself. You can find more info on the show notes page…
How To Make Love™71: Imposter Syndrome
Join laura for a discussion about what imposter syndrome is, how it uses and connects to oppression, and four strategies to heal it. You can find more info on…
How To Make Love™69: How To Take Up Space (Without Causing Harm)
Join host laura brewer for a discussion about what we mean by 'taking up space,' why that's historically harmful, and 5 concrete whys/hows on learning to take…
How To Make Love™68: Wholeness
Join host laura brewer for an exploration of wholeness as a noun and a verb. You can find a summary of the episode on the show notes page…
How To Make Love™67: Decolonizing Desire
Join host laura brewer as she explains how learning to hear and validate our desire can be a practice of love and justice. You can find a summary of the…
How To Make Love™66: Life-Changing Lessons
Join host laura brewer as she shares 5 personal lessons that changed her life. You can find a summary of the episode on the show notes page…
How To Make Love™65: Liberatory Consciousness (ft. Tanya Williams & Bari Katz)
Join guests Tanya Williams and Bari Katz for a discussion about making love and justice with and through a liberatory consciousness. Steeped in the work of Dr…