Shows / Rats In The Gutter
Rats In The Gutter
Auckland, the Babylon of Australasia. Home to award-winning creatives/ aspiring Jezebels Sam Te Kani and Johanna Cosgrove. Join them as they navigate daily life in a gorgeous South Pacific necropolis here at civilization’s end. Not deterred in the least by back-to-back lockdowns and a shortage of worthwhile intimacies, Te Kani and Cosgrove barrel headfirst into themes and experiences any modern twenty-something will recognise. From finding love when every other guy is a flakey bisexual, to the…
Episodes
Rats In The GutterChildren of Men
This week the very-enrolled-to-vote rats discuss, among other things, the petty differences between Aussie and Kiwi approaches to getting the great unwashed to…
Rats In The GutterMEGA QUAKE
Despite some awful personal news pre-record, the rats persist like the showbiz rodents they truly are. This week our gutters overflow with classic anti America…
Rats In The GutterHessian Skort
Behind the paywall the rats discussed the importance of Journeying, and this side, where the freebies never cease, they discuss Learning, a symptom of…
Rats In The GutterFear and Loathing at the VMAs
In this dystopian fever dream we call reality, with everything worsening apace (faster than a forgotten cube of Colby in the back of the fridge) it’s easy to…
Rats In The GutterDirty Work or Hardly Working
Because this is nothing if not a searing political podcast holding power to account with a smorgasbord of stolid sources and bonafide facts, the rats would be…
Rats In The GutterHoard of Smaug
to ask the question is AI art even art, a working definition of art itself has to be established. Which is far too labour intensive a task for the rats this…
Rats In The GutterCrumbs from the Factory Floor
We are haunted. Haunted by futures that never happened. So says mark Fisher, of Capitalist Realism fame. This week, the rats get critical and robustly discuss…
Rats In The GutterPlane Person
The rats are beleaguered besieged and generally against it but defy some very material odds and physically reunite in Big Daddy’s studio for much delayed…
Rats In The GutterFuck It.
Anti bullying doesn’t sound like something the rats would be into. And it isn’t. But for a brief moment, one of the rats was poised to be its spokesperson in…
Rats In The GutterNepo-leon Dyna-might [be nice to inherit a career in the arts]
What is nepotism? Is it something the rats should feel sore about being born without, or can they live and die without it? It looks like a sweet enough ride…
Rats In The GutterPennywise
Happy Fourth of July! Just kidding. There’s no way either rat would ever attach positive affect to a day celebrating the most obnoxious landmass this side of…
Rats In The GutterSmoke Signals
Holy mackerel, what the effing eff is wrong with this country? Referring of course to the vermin issue NZ is currently facing. The vermin in question? Not your…
Rats In The GutterDiabolical Hollowed Out Face of Cuntville
Well holly friggin moly if the apocalypse train hasn’t already left the station, which it has, and gosh darn it don’t we have whip lash. And to think, we’re…
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Crustaceous Acrylics
This week, Johanna describes the best live performance she’s ever seen in her life—which is saying something, as a seasoned performer herself, and someone very…
Rats In The GutterBartleby The Gooner
Well, as winter descends and New Zealanders retreat into Bronte flavoured gothic doldrums, some turn to the familiar for comfort, the known, the whimsical. And…
Rats In The GutterThe Blizzard
Jesus H Christ is it a crime to be messy these days or what? Seriously, the optimisation metrics, this ideology of converting every micro-event into revenue is…
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Rerun: FEATURING EMMA GLEASON
In honour of Tāmaki Noir tonight being hosted by Emma and featuring Samuel here's an episode from the back catalogue. a refined and amiable guest - this week…
Rats In The GutterRerun: Gayz In The Gutter: Live
A flashback to when Chris Parker and Eli Matthewson joined forces with Rats In The Gutter’s Johanna Cosgrove and Samuel Te Kani. This special one-off live…
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RERUN: Vices
RERUN: The Rats are taking a much deserved recording break, please enjoy this episode from the back catalogue. In this introductory episode, Samuel and Johanna…
Rats In The GutterVigorous Thai Fingers
This week the rats acknowledge that they’ve had something of a hiatus, without offering apology. The world is coo coo crazy right now and if the most…
Rats In The GutterThrobs and Leaks
The body keeps the score, and this week the rat-bodies are bedraggled, bewitched, bewigged, and decidedly simian. Which is to say, despite recent salmonella…
Rats In The GutterChaste
The spiral continues! Though getting out of bed at the moment feels like the effort equivalent of pulling wooden splinters out of your own sphincter, the rats…
Rats In The GutterPEDDLING FICTIONS
This week the rats are cinephiles and snap review The Moment, which they were lucky enough to see an advance screening of at Avondale’s illustrious Hollywood…
Rats In The GutterDisappointed
So many things to be disappointed by, so little time. At the top of the list this week is Gaga’s murky position on Israel, because we think the lady doth NOT…
Rats In The Gutterhypoxia
Soooooooo everything’s totally cool and normal right now aye, like definitely so chill that anxiously masculine influencers are looksmaxing which is another…
Rats In The GutterFaggs Coffee Filters
Oh dear, it looks like we’ve been so desensitized to horror that full disclosure doesn’t mean diddly (doesn’t mean DIDDY) any more. Like, what even is…
Rats In The GutterIt Do Be Rdiddled
Welcome back to the gutter where the living ain’t easy and the joys of scraping by are . . . well, few and far between. But like, ‘community’. And like…
Rats In The Gutterfetid forever wars
Here we are in the new year, and any hopes of an improvement over the cluster fuck of 2025 are well and truly shot to shit. Because apparently we’re all…
Rats In The GutterSemiotic Wasteland
Wow, what a year this week has been! Just when you think the stink of western madness couldn’t get thicker on the air…it does. But anyone living on this side…
Rats In The GutterWe Like To Watch
The rats are in mourning this week as Jimmy D, perhaps NZ’s last source of spiritually consistent urban gothic, closes its doors. As longtime fans of…
Rats In The GutterNegative Space
It is officially Wicked Season and if you’re not a shrill femme jumping on the Ozian Express and getting your landing strip dyed a pleasing shade of verdigris…
Rats In The GutterCthulhu Girls Do It Better
There’s something rotten in the South Pacific (it’s cops, we’re talking about cops). Recent salacious pedo-adjacent revelations in NZ’s law enforcement aside…
Rats In The GutterDavid and Jonathan and Saul
WARNING—contains a full minute of dead air as Johanna leaves the studio for a spew. A prerequisite of living in the gutter is humility—which, this week, Sam…
Rats In The GutterKish Kash Kosher!
Get ready non-paying listeners (cough; no shade) for a very special and hopefully consistent-hereafter Agony Aunt section in which we answer your queries…
Rats In The GutterGhana Boy
Hello there, our beloved and non paying listeners. This week the rats weave and wend their way around a world teetering on total shit fuckery (some would say…
Rats In The GutterEverything is (not actually) Romantically
Everything is faaaaaaaarked. And yet, the rats are here. Picking the carcass of the west for views and likes. This week, Winnie Peters is a big brown anti…
Rats In The GutterJust a LUSH RAVISHING ARRESTING SHE/HER
Another day, another National bequeathed nightmare. And yet more fixation on the unbearable incompetence of Nicola Willis. I know I know blaming a single…
Rats In The GutterMelbourne vs Auckland
This week, Melbourne vs Auckland. Which is better? Just kidding; it;’s obviously Melbourne. And yet the rats, being measured journalists, provide a balanced…
Rats In The GutterFranz Ferdinand
well well well the rats are back and despite their hiatus they are NOT feeling rested. If anything their personal lives reflect the disarray of global…
Rats In The GutterSea Monkeys Pt. 2
What a time to be alive! The states are stating, the gulags are gulaging, and the labubu continues to rise as a new synthetic super power with total fractal…
Rats In The GutterThe Fast and the Furious and the Catatonic
What a world we’re living in! They say god is dead but the rats know our One True Lord and Saviour is convenience, a modus operandi that’s convenient to some…
Rats In The GutterGuests Part 1: Sophie Henderson and Matt Whelan
Guests! Give a very warm welcome to our very special guests actor Matt Whelan and writer/actor Sophie Henderson, two of NZ’s finest film and television talents…
Rats In The GutterThe Vanishing
Like they’ve never done before (cough) the rats talk about democracy’s failings and how its formal and informal elements need to be kept distinct enough we…
Rats In The GutterI DON’T SUBMERGE
The clubs that raised us! The rats get nostalgic about a time when all venues were open til six AM, where supper clubs could serve you a pre-work night cap at…
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Irish Torpedo
Okay, so the Katy Perry abuse might’ve crossed over into primal woman-hate; on a local scale we mean. Like, it’s overkill at this point. In this being the rats…
Rats In The GutterBuffy the Moa Slayer
For some reason, or perhaps because a show about surviving late-stage capitalism with your friends and sanity intact is relevant now, the rats revisit some…
Rats In The GutterOft Overlooked
Twinks; what even are they? This is just one of many hard hitting questions the rats tackle in this week’s free to air (fuckin freeloaders) episode. They don’t…
Rats In The GutterGoiters Again
SORRY FOLKS - this ep is coming out about a week late due to a technical error If the rising seas don’t vanish Venice then surely Jeff Bezos’ repugnantly…
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Fingies Crossed
This ep is proudly sponsored by One Percent Collective: opc.nz/RATS Reality bends, warps, is vulnerable to liberal edits by every twelve year old with an…
Rats In The GutterChowder In & Out
The rats have contracted a mental illness whereby they can’t stop name dropping. Symptoms include swapping stories about famous people who may or may not hate…
Rats In The GutterRejuvenated FISSURE
There seems to be a lot of negative chat re Sabrina Carpenter’s new album cover, and while at least one of the rats thinks Sabrina is the pop world’s most…
Rats In The GutterChris Bishop is Unattractive
Wow, what a week it’s been. And this is certainly not a valid review because what’s a week, where am I, whose jiz is this and what even IS time? Featured in…
Rats In The GutterCelestial Mantis
This week the rats discuss the proverbial (delusional?) lure of escape; whether it be from an alien abduction themed escape room, or between the bars of your…
Rats In The GutterGay for Pay (Yay)
Twin or tumour, length or girth, polyamory or cheating. The rats are asking hard questions this week and, like most media, reducing the nuances of reality to…
Rats In The GutterRecommended Protein
This episode is proudly supported by ReWired.org.nz - a non-judgemental support group for people who want to bring their Party 'n' Play into focus. As…
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Pillow Princess
This episode is proudly supported by ReWired.org.nz - a non-judgemental support group for people who want to bring their Party 'n' Play into focus. This week…
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Maybe, That’s The Clit
This episode is proudly supported by ReWired.org.nz - a non-judgemental support group for people who want to bring their Party 'n' Play into focus. Not an…
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Put It In The Bag
Jubba Hive Rise! This week (under the looming shadow of . . . well, everything right now) the rats find small (guilty) joy in spending absurd amounts of money…
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Labia to Linoleum
Johanna is in Melbourne doing the comedy circuit. So begins a month or so of long distance episodes. Kinda like Heloise and Abelard but without the platonic…
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The Unbearable Vices of Being
Despite there being very little reason to live at the moment, what with the kinds of geopolitical instability unseen in the west since the end of WW2, the rats…