Latest / 🎙️ Rebuild & Fulfill Real conversations on burnout, rebuilding, and becoming stronger than before. / How to Support Mental Health: Practical Ways Anyone Can Help | Episode 48
Transcript
- Kelsey Dunbar (Co-Founder): You? We ask that question every day. Sometimes we ask while we're already walking away or checking our phone, or maybe just thinking about what we need to do next. But what if we ask someone, how are you feeling really? And they give us an honest answer. Are we ready to stop and listen? Do we have the time and attention to make room for what they're about to share? And when it comes to mental health, Listening to one person is only one way to help. We can also help good conversations, education, and helping support reach more people. Today, Marc and I are talking about both. Welcome to today's episode of Rebuild and Fulfill. I'm Kelsey Dunbar and I'm here with my co-host Marc Rogala. Marc and I contribute to mental health work in different ways, and we're sharing that distinction for a reason. Marc works full time at a behavioral health center, and on average, he also spends two evenings and one weekend day each week working with organizations such as NAMI and at Glen Oaks Hospital and Linden Oaks Hospital. He spends a lot of time working directly with the people who are struggling. My work at Suffer to Tougher centers on building and running the organization day to day. I write and produce our podcast interviews and episodes and respond to the emails we receive, manage the business, and handle the work that keeps our projects and outreach moving. I also collaborate with healthcare professionals and speakers as one part of the broader role. We want to show that there are many ways to help address the mental health crisis in this country, also strengthen prevention and build awareness. Our work is one example of how people can contribute in different ways. You don't have to do everything. You can use your time, skills, and connections to help you in a way that fits you. We'll start with what it means to really listen when someone opens up. Then we'll talk about how people can support the wider work happening in this space. Marc, without getting into anyone's private story, of course. What have you seen that helps someone feel genuinely heard when they're going through a difficult time? Marc Rogala (Co-Founder): Hm, I mean the biggest thing is being present and treating the person with respect in a safe zone in a very non-judgmental way, knowing that the individual is dealing with shame and dealing with guilt and keeping a lot of feelings on the inside. So if they could feel as safe and as not judgmented as po j safe and not judged, that would be very important to them. truly listening to them. I think that as human beings we tend to listen and we want to give advice and give solutions right away. That's this is not the right time to do that, Kelsey. Truly listen to them and let them get their feelings off their chest. And then once they have an opportunity to to air their feelings with you, ask them what would be helpful instead of assuming what would be helpful. Kelsey Dunbar (Co-Founder): Yeah, that's great advice. And it's such an important point. We can care about someone and still get ahead of them. We hear part of what they're saying and immediately want to fix it. But before we offer advice, they may need the chance to explain what's happening in their own words. And asking, How are you feeling really means something different when we're ready to hear more than I'm fine. So There's a practical side to this. Before we ask someone to open up, we should think about whether we have the time and attention to actually hear the answer. That doesn't mean we have to be available for every conversation at every moment. We all have responsibilities, but if you ask because you genuinely want to know, try not to ask while you're already leaving or focused on something else. If the person starts sharing and you realize you can't give them your full attention, you can be honest. You might say, I do want to hear what's really going on. I just can't give this the attention that it deserves right now. Can we talk tonight? Then make sure you follow through. That lets the person know that you meant it. And when you do have time, you don't need to have the perfect response. You can ask, do you want me to listen? Help you think through some options, or help you find someone that can support you. That gives the person a chance to tell you what would be useful instead of having us guess. We can be there for someone without pretending to have every answer. Sometimes part of supporting a person is helping them connect with additional support. There's also work that happens in the community, where people are offering support, raising awareness, and helping others find their next step. So Marc, from your experience, what are some ways that people can support mental health efforts in their community, even if they aren't professionals? Marc Rogala (Co-Founder): I mean, one, you can find out what local organizations actually need. Get on their email campaign or go on their social media and find out what they're doing in the community, and maybe they need some volunteers or what have you. Obviously, if they do need some volunteers, you can attend an event or help raise awareness by sharing the post as an example. There was a lot of suicide walks in the month of September. for National Suicide Prevention Month. There's always walks going on in May for May Mental Health Awareness Month. Sharing those posts, trying to drive education in the community, I think is really good. Learn what resources exist locally in your community. So if somebody does approach you in a time of need, you can provide them some direction. I know a lot of people are not familiar with the various resources like in the western suburbs of Chicago where we're based at. You know, I mean there is a twenty four seven, three hundred and sixty five day crisis center. There's that living room at Nami. There's a bunch of anonymous meetings, whether it's AA, NA, GA, marijuana's anonymous. I mean, there's an anonymous for everything. And a lot of these organizations have websites, a lot of these organizations have apps where people can download an app. And basically right they can actually click on that app and from wherever they're at, it's gonna pull up all the meetings in the area within the next couple hours for them to get the proper support that they need. I think that they obviously can offer practical support while respecting the role of trained professionals. They could be good listeners. You know, they could provide some directions to individuals that are struggling, that are conveying some some messages to them and they identify those messages that need some additional support. I just think that it's just really good to just educate yourself and and be very active because right now what's going on out there. Is you know, we're in a crisis mode. We're in a crisis mode when it comes to mental health, and we're in a crisis mode with the addiction and alcoholism rates that are continuing to grow. And I can almost pro I can basically promise you, I can guarantee you, that somebody in their circle or somebody in their community of friends has somebody that's struggling. So to be aware of that information, so if somebody does approach you. You basically have an arsenal in your pocket that you can provide that support because they might come to you at a time of crisis and the last thing you need to do is be backpedaling. Kelsey Dunbar (Co-Founder): Yeah, fantastic advice. That's also a good reminder that you don't need a professional title in order to contribute. You can support an organization or help with an event or learn what resources are available or help someone connect with the right people. We each have different skills and different amounts of time available. The important thing is to find a way that's meaningful and also realistic for you. So The same idea applies to education and resources. They can help someone only if that person can find them. A conversation, a post, a podcast, a book, or a course might reach someone who is ready to learn more. Or who needs encouragement to take the next step. Working with others in this space helps bring more voices and perspectives to the audience, and sharing their work can help it reach further. There are many people and organizations doing meaningful work. We don't have to be the only ones people hear from. We can help one another get useful information and support in front of more people. Marc Rogala (Co-Founder): Kelsey, I got question for you. If someone isn't working directly with people or running an organization, how can they still support mental health awareness and prevention? Kelsey Dunbar (Co-Founder): Well, I mean, there's there's lots of ways. You can share an educational post that helped you, maybe recommend a book or a podcast, tell someone about an organization or attend an event, maybe sign up for a fundraiser or volunteer or donate, or maybe take a course on mental health or something specific that you or a loved one is dealing with. You certainly don't have to do all those things, but just think about what matters to you and what you realistically have time and the ability to do. That includes supporting work like ours. When people share Suffer To Tougher posts, videos, podcast episodes, or our books with someone who might benefit, they help those conversations and resources reach more people. And we're not saying ours is the only work people should share. There are many organizations and professionals and educators, authors, and people with lived experience doing valuable work. The more we help people find useful, credible resources. The more ways they have to learn and find support. Marc Rogala (Co-Founder): So what if somebody doesn't have much time? They don't have any extra time or they don't have any extra money Kels. What should they do? Kelsey Dunbar (Co-Founder): Yeah, I mean then then start with what you do have. Maybe you share a resource with one person. Maybe you bought our book at one time and you finished it. Pass it on to someone else. You know, let them benefit. I mean, it it's not a it it never has been about us making money off of books where we just want people referring our book. We'd love for you to give it, share it, whichever, right? But or just maybe share a resource with one other person, whether it's a a post or a podcast episode from somebody that we've worked with before, maybe one of the speakers from our summit that we just finished with. Maybe something struck a chord with you. And just take the time to learn more about a subject that interests you. A contribution doesn't have to be large in order to be meaningful. If you want to support a particular organization, find out what they need. They may have events, volunteer opportunities, educational resources, or ways to donate. We can all choose what fits our time, skills, and resources. Marc Rogala (Co-Founder): Those are all great points. Gals, I want to reiterate the point about sharing post on Facebook or on social media, whatever your platform is on social media, because I am in the field and I do get a lot of text, phone calls, and messages every day. And I can honestly tell you, I can even I well, I can't even begin to tell you how many out of the blue texts or messages on Messenger I get because something that we post resonates with an individual and they start opening up to me talking about what's going on on the inside. For maybe they're dealing with some depression, maybe dealing with some anxious feelings. I hear a lot about, you know, maybe drinking too much. Okay. But it starts with one post. Again, it takes about three seconds to share a post. You share a post. to all of your network, all of your friends, all the people that you're connected with, there might be somebody, there might be multiple people that are in a bad way right now. They're thinking about getting some help. And just by seeing you sharing that post might be the difference of them reaching out or keeping it all on the inside and getting deeper into potential chaos. Kelsey Dunbar (Co-Founder): Yeah, that's an incredible point because by sharing that post, you are basically saying, I'm a safe space. I'm someone that if you're struggling with this, you can talk to because obviously I'm open to talking about this kind of stuff if I'm putting out these posts, or I'm sh if I'm sharing someone else's posts and you're sharing it from me. So that is a great way to say, Hey, I'm open to talk. I'm open to communicate about this. And that's actually How you got started, Marc, in this space was putting out some posts, talking about some things that you were struggling with, and all of a sudden your inbox just blew up. And so that's a great point. That if you want to basically tell your friends and your family, I'm open to talk about these things, what a better way than that? That's a very good point. So we've talked about a lot of different ways people can contribute, but before we close, let's make it practical. so Marc and I are gonna toss out a few ideas, alternating between ways to show up directly for people, and then also ways to help useful information and support reach more people. You don't have to do all of them. Just listen for one that feels doable for you. So you go ahead and start, Marc. Marc Rogala (Co-Founder): Okay. Check in when you have time to really listen. Kelsey Dunbar (Co-Founder): Yeah, good point. And if you don't have time right then, make a time to talk and make sure you follow through. Marc Rogala (Co-Founder): Find out what support is available in your community. Kelsey Dunbar (Co-Founder): Yeah or take a course or share a trusted resource. Marc Rogala (Co-Founder): Attend an event, volunteer, help someone connect with the local organization. Kelsey Dunbar (Co-Founder): Share a podcast, book, video, or post that could reach someone who really needs it at that time. Marc Rogala (Co-Founder): Support the wonderful organizations in the community doing the work in a way that fits your capacity. Kelsey Dunbar (Co-Founder): And that can include Suffer to Tougher's work along with other voices and resources in this space. Marc Rogala (Co-Founder): And I think it's very important that people need to realize you don't have to do everything. Kelsey Dunbar (Co-Founder): Yeah, so you can just choose one thing to do to help that feels doable for you. That one step may help someone find the support that they really do need. So as we wrap up, I want to leave you with a reminder. Today we explored two very different ways to support mental health, and neither matters more than the other. The first is being present for the people right in front of us. The second is helping useful conversations, education. and support, reach more people. You don't need to have every answer or to do everything. You can start by listening well, choosing one way to help, and then following through. If you're interested in collaborating with us or learning more about the work that we do at Suffer to Tougher, reach out to us on our personal profiles on socials or through suffertotougher.org, or you can send us an email that we both get the emails at the sufferetugheratgmail.com email address. And if there's an organization or resource you believe more people should know about, keep helping people discover it. So thank you for listening to today's episode of Rebuild and Fulfill. And as always, keep rebuilding, keep moving forward, and we will see you next time on Rebuild and Fulfill. Take care.