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Why Frustration Lives In The Body · The MODERN YIN Podcast

• 0:03
  So welcome to another episode of the Modern yen Podcast.
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  I'm your host, Kimberly Roberts of Soulful yen, and I'm super
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  stoked to talk about today's topic, which is all about why
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  frustration lives in the body. So grab yourself a latte or a
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  tea, get on the couch, grab your favorite blanket and let's dive
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  in, shall we? So there's an emotion that many
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  high functioning women carry, but it's rarely talked about.
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  Like rarely talked about. It's not sadness, it's not
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  anxiety, it's frustration. Even that word frustration, like
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  it even sounds like, right. So frustration is that kind of
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  emotion that sits just beneath the surface.
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  You know what? It's kind of like, I'll tell
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  you, you know, when you sweep all the dirt underneath your
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  carpet because you don't want to deal with it at the time, but
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  then all of a sudden you notice one day, Oh my God, like, why is
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  there a big hump like over top of my carpet?
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  That's frustration. So frustration, What does it
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  show up like? It shows up like impatience,
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  irritability, tension in the body, especially in the hips.
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  Like, do you ever feel like when you're really frustrated, like
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  all of a sudden you're like hips are locked.
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  It kind of feels like something in your life is stuck.
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  Like you're like, like you're stuck in mud and you just can't,
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  like, you can't get out, right? And most of the time we're just
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  trying to like, manage that mentally, right?
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  We try to reason with it. We try to push through it.
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  We try to stay composed and calm and tell ourselves we're just
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  fine. But for many women, they don't
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  realize something. Frustration, It's not just a
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  mental thing. It's not just a mental
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  experience. It is physiological, OK?
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  Frustration lives and shows up in your body.
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  So let's talk about that Like why do women suppress
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  frustration? Because high functioning women,
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  especially over the age of 40, who's been nailing that for a
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  long time, are incredibly good at staying composed and calm,
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  right? They know how to be responsible.
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  They know how to keep things moving forward.
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  You know, they know how to show up for work for their family,
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  their commitments, right? They know how to check off all
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  the boxes. But because of that, frustration
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  rarely gets expressed outwardly. Instead, it just gets managed.
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  You. So you stay polite, you stay
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  productive, you stay reliable, but your body still feels the
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  pressure, right? Like it's almost like you can
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  see the lid on the pot and it's just about to like, pop, but
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  it's staying just a little bit contained, right?
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  And here's the thing, when our emotions are not allowed to
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  move, they don't disappear. They settle.
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  They stay in the nervous system, in the muscles, in the breath,
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  in the body. Think of the word emotion.
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  If you break it down, emotion, meaning like emotions are meant
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  to move, right? But they don't.
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  So the frustration just stays there in the body.
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  And you're probably wondering, well, how does frustration
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  actually show up physically? Like, I know I'm frustrated, but
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  like, where do I look in my body to see if I'm frustrated?
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  Because you'll automatically assume in your mind, oh, yeah,
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  I'm frustrated. But it's like, well, let's dive
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  into the body and see, right? So you'll probably notice
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  frustration in really subtle physical ways.
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  Things like your jaws just a little bit tight, your shoulders
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  that feel like they're just a little bit too heavy, The breath
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  that never, you know, quite drops into the belly.
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  It kind of just feels like it's stuck more in the chest.
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  Digestive tension, That's a good one.
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  You feel like knots in your stomach, headaches, that kind of
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  low grade irritability that seems to appear out of nowhere.
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  And you're like, why am I irritable?
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  Like, what's going on? And here's the thing.
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  Many women think that there's something wrong with them when
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  they feel this way, but often there's nothing wrong.
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  I want to tell you that in Chinese medicine, our emotions
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  are just indicators. They're signals of where we're
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  at energetically and emotionally.
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  And your body is just holding that kind of energy, and it just
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  hasn't been given permission to move yet, to move out.
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  So that's kind of like the physical.
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  It's like, OK, well, I can kind of understand that now.
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  Yeah, My jaw is kind of tight. I kind of see that.
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  But let's shift into something different.
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  Let's shift gears. How about we talk about it
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  through the Chinese medicine perspective, All right?
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  Because traditional Chinese medicine is so my jam.
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  And I love talking about it. And also traditional Chinese
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  medicine, or I'm going to call it TCM going forward here.
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  So you know what I'm talking about.
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  It has a really fascinating kind of perspective on this.
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  So in Chinese medicine, all of your organs have associated
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  emotions with them, OK. And frustration is closely
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  connected to the liver. Now, not the liver in the
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  Western medical sense, OK, but the energetic system that is
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  responsible for the smooth flow of energy throughout our body.
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  That's what I'm talking about. OK, So when that flow becomes
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  stuck or stagnant, then certain emotions start to show up
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  because the body is just always communicating with us, right?
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  So frustration will show up, Irritability, mood swings, kind
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  of feeling like you're stuck in your life, feeling like things
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  are just not moving forward. You're like, OK, am I stuck in a
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  time warp or something? Like why am I just not moving
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  here? Right?
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  So in Chinese medicine, this is often described as liver chi
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  stagnation. And interestingly, the season
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  most connected to the liver is spring, because spring is a
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  season of movement like we've been, you know, sedentary, calm
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  still for the winter. We hibernate, right?
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  So we're not doing a ton of movement.
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  There's no real growth that's happening.
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  But come spring, we have growth, plants start to come back,
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  right? Seeds pop up, expansion.
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  Nature is like, OK, I'm doing my thing.
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  I'm waking on up. But if the energy in your body
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  has been stuck for too long, that rising spring energy can
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  feel really uncomfortable. It can feel suffocating.
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  So instead of feeling like you're growing, you're going to
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  feel like you're irritated. Instead of having clarity,
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  you're going to feel restless. Instead of feeling expansive,
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  you're going to feel blocked. And let me tell you, I know
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  exactly what those vibrations feel like.
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  And it's just, it's so frustrating.
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  It really is because you're like, but I don't want to be
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  frustrated. I don't want to be irritated.
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  I don't want to be restless. I don't want to be blocked.
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  Like I just want to move, right? But you're like, I can't.
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  And it's like, why can't I? Because you need to take care of
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  your liver. That's why.
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  So let's talk about how your nervous system is connected to
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  this because here's the piece that I missed for a long time, a
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  really long time. And this is where the nervous
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  system and Chinese medicine intersect beautifully.
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  And when you get this piece, it'll almost be like light bulb
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  moment. And you're like, Oh my God, now
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  I get it. OK, so when your nervous system
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  is constantly bracing, and if you've been in high stress
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  States and you know, flight or fright for a really long time,
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  guess what? You're bracing.
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  Your nervous system is bracing and energy doesn't move easily.
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  Think of like a garden hose with a bunch of kinks in it and the
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  water is trying to flow through. Well, it's pretty hard, right?
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  Like to get water to flow through something that's got
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  kinks in it all the time. This is what's happening in your
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  nervous system. It's like you've got all these
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  kinks and nothing can move. So everything is just bracing,
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  or it's just like, it's sluggish, or it's kind of like,
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  OK, I move a little bit and I'm stuck.
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  Move a little bit and I'm stuck. That's what happens.
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  The body tightens the breath, it becomes shallow, your muscles
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  start to contract, and emotional energy has fewer pathways to
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  release. And what happens then?
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  The frustration just keeps building.
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  And it's not because you're an angry person.
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  I really want to reiterate that it has nothing to do with that.
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  It's only because your nervous system and your body have been
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  holding pressure for way too long, right?
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  It's like the pot on the stove. You put the lid on it and then
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  it's fine for a little while. And then all of a sudden it's
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  like you start seeing like the steam, right?
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  And it's brewing and it's building and then building and
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  it's building, but it's contained.
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  But you can see that at one point that lids going to just
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  pop right off, right? And that's the pressure
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  releasing finally. And This is why we get
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  frustrated and irritated, even like angry and resentful.
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  And we don't want that, right? We want the energy to move.
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  So why does stillness help release our emotions?
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  Because this is really cool, this next part.
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  OK, so listen in here. Practices that we explore in
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  what I call modern yen are really powerful.
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  It's stillness, it's slow movement between poses, it's
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  breath, it's acupressure, it's reflexology, it's practices that
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  createspace in your nervous system.
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  And when your nervous system softens, something really
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  interesting happens, OK? Energy begins to move.
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  It's like the kinks, all of a sudden they start to open up and
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  there's more space, right? And so it flows.
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  The jaw starts to soften, the breath begins to deepen, the
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  body begins to unwind, kind of like the kinks in the hose
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  unwinding. And the frustration that once
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  felt like it was stuck begins to move and release.
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  It's not dramatic, but it's gradual and it's gentle if you
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  don't force it. And here's the thing, it's
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  consistency. You know, once a week going, I'm
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  going to sit here and I'm going to do some yen poses and I'm
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  going to release some. Frustration isn't the way to go.
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  Small repetitive moments of stillness is what trains your
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  nervous system to feel safe and allows your body to release what
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  it's holding on to. OK, so This is why I have a
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  seven day spring liver reset program coming up in the Soulful
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  Yin Yoga app. It is tying in perfectly with
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  the TCM wood element season that starts on March 20th.
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  This is the spring, right? And in Chinese medicine, the
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  wood element is associated with springtime.
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  So it is the perfect time to support your body in releasing
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  built up frustration and restoring the natural flow of
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  energy. So over the seven days, we're
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  going to explore simple yen practices, breath work,
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  acupressure. There's a master class where I'm
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  going to dive deep into talking about the wood element season
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  and the tie in with the organs and the emotions.
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  And this is all designed to unwind your nervous system and
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  to help your body let go of what it's been holding on to for
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  years, maybe even decades. So if this conversation is
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  something that you're like, yeah, I could really use some
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  support, then you're welcome to come and join us.
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  So I want to tell you one thing. I want to leave you with one
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  thing, frustration. It's not a character flaw.
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  It's just a signal, right? Like it's a signal from your
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  energetic and emotional body telling you that you know what
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  something needs to move. Like if you think about an
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  actual signal, like a signal is just doesn't sit there like it
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  needs movement, right? And it's the same thing with
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  your body. Your body needs the movement, it
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  needs the expression, it needs the release.
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  And sometimes, honestly, the most powerful way to create that
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  release is not by forcing it, but by stillness.
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  And that's truly what modern Ian is all about.
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  It's where stillness does the real work.
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  So thank you so much for pressing play on today's
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  episode. I can't wait to see you in the
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  next one. And you know what, At this
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  point, I'm in my PJS again. And yes, they're Christmas
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  pyjamas, but whatever. And we're heading into spring.
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  But you know what? It is what it is.
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  And I'm just going to roll with that because otherwise I'm going
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  to get frustrated. And I don't want to be
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  frustrated because I've spent way too much of my energy and my
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  life in frustration. And now I just want to live in
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  peace and in calm. So I'll see you in the next
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  episode. Have an awesome rest of your
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  day.