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The Easiest Way To Teach Your Brain Your Safe (no hacks needed) · Bye Bye Panic

• 0:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: My chronic symptoms got so bad that I was forced to quit my job and move back home to my parents' house.
• 0:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: I didn't have any work, no responsibilities.
• 0:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: I didn't even have to cook for myself.
• 0:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: And you know what's the wildest thing?
• 0:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: I actually got worse.
• 0:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: I removed all the pressure from my life, but I was still afraid of how my body was reacting to these symptoms.
• 0:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: So if you're dealing with chronic physical and mental symptoms, chronic pain,
• 0:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: anxiety, I'm going to share with you the easiest way to convey safety to your brain.
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  [SPEAKER_00]: This way you can turn the alarms off for good and begin finding relief from your symptoms.
• 0:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now the easiest way to show safety to your brain is through your response.
• 0:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: Your nervous system learns best through experience, which is really annoying because wouldn't it be easier if your nervous system could just learn through watching a YouTube video?
• 0:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: but your nervous system needs to learn through experience.
• 0:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: And that means that you need to be okay to feel the symptoms.
• 1:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because feeling the symptoms is part of showing your nervous system and your brain that you're safe.
• 1:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I understand when makes this so challenging is that the symptoms are just so unbearable.
• 1:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: I want to let you know first and foremost that I get it.
• 1:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: But in order to show safety, you have to know that your brain is always watching you.
• 1:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: The simplest way to look at this is that your brain forms beliefs.
• 1:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then when it forms those beliefs, it looks for evidence for where that belief is true.
• 1:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so if you have this belief that the symptom is dangerous or it's harmful or that it's something else besides an nervous system issue,
• 1:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: is going to watch how you behave with that symptom and treat the symptom appropriately.
• 1:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: So if you're fighting the symptom, if you're getting frustrated by the symptom, if you're resisting the symptom, which I know is incredibly difficult not to do, the underlying subtext that your nervous system learns is that, hey, this symptom is dangerous, because look at the way Sean is reacting.
• 2:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so your response teaches the alarm system to stay on.
• 2:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: And what happens is when you're reacting in
• 2:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: fear and resistance and frustration, the alarm system becomes more and more sensitive.
• 2:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: When you react to fear, you're basically putting like a magnifying glass on the symptom.
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  [SPEAKER_00]: So the symptom gets bigger and bigger to your brain.
• 2:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so even the smallest amount of discomfort, your brain overreacts.
• 2:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so the best way to respond is, you know, thinking about, you know, having a child.
• 2:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I have a niece.
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  [SPEAKER_00]: She's one years old.
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  [SPEAKER_00]: she's adorable and she's at that age where she will walk a lot and when she walks sometimes she'll fall and when she falls she sometimes looks at us and sees how we react and so if she falls a little hard and we react and oh my god are you okay?
• 2:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: Well, you'll notice that she'll start crying.
• 2:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's almost like she doesn't know how to react in that moment and she's looking at us.
• 2:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so based on how we react, she mirrors that.
• 3:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: But if she falls really hard and we just kind of laugh it off and say, oh, that's okay, get back up.
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  [SPEAKER_00]: And not make a big deal out of it.
• 3:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: You'll notice she's fine, she's okay.
• 3:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: And that is the perfect analogy for your nervous system.
• 3:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: When your nervous system is sending those alarms, it's basically looking at you and saying, okay, how do you react with these alarms?
• 3:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: Are you fighting it?
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  [SPEAKER_00]: Are you resisting it?
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  [SPEAKER_00]: Are you panicking?
• 3:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: Well, when you do, you're retraining your nervous system that, hey, this is dangerous.
• 3:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: And now your brain has the belief that the symptom is dangerous and if found evidence through your reaction.
• 3:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: And it took me a long time to figure this out because I always thought that I would feel safe once I knew my symptoms were gone.
• 3:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: And that makes sense, right?
• 3:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, how do you know that everything is okay?
• 3:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: Well, my body is not malfunctioning.
• 3:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not feeling these weird symptoms.
• 3:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: But here was the thing that took me so long to figure out, which was that the symptoms I was dealing with was showing up because my body was in danger mode.
• 4:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: So if I wanted the symptoms to go away, my body first had to know it was safe, then the symptoms go away.
• 4:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: But if you're waiting for your symptoms to go away, that's kind of like being in a house that has a fire in it and you're waiting for the smoke alarm system to turn off first and then the fire goes away.
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  [SPEAKER_00]: The smoke alarm is your symptoms.
• 4:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so that's not how a fire works.
• 4:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: First, the fire stops, the smoke alarm system is still going on and then the smoke alarm system turns off.
• 4:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: But if you're waiting for your symptoms to go away first and then feel safe, that's literally like waiting for the smoke alarm system to go off.
• 4:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: First, the fire needs to stop.
• 4:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: And this is why I got so reactive in my journey, because the days I was doing good when the symptoms weren't as high, okay, I'm doing great.
• 4:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: But then when a symptom will pop up, I would get so reactive.
• 4:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: I would go into fixed mode.
• 4:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: Why is this happening?
• 4:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: And this is what took me so long to figure out, which is, I needed to feel the symptoms in order to change it.
• 5:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: So it was like, I had to go through this.
• 5:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: I couldn't circumvent the symptoms.
• 5:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: I couldn't avoid them.
• 5:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: I had to face them and by facing them and by responding, my nervous system learned through experience that the symptoms are not dangerous.
• 5:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, they're uncomfortable, but they're not dangerous.
• 5:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: Danger and discomfort are such different things.
• 5:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: And when your brain gets the hint that, hey, this symptom is not dangerous, it's just a little bit uncomfortable.
• 5:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: When you repeat that to your brain enough, when you respond and teach your brain that, you know, this symptom is just uncomfortable.
• 5:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: Your brain stops treating the symptom as dangerous.
• 5:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: And what happens is that your alarm system, your nervous system begins to calm down.
• 5:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: Ironically, has the alarm system begins to calm down.
• 5:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: The symptoms begin to subside on their own.
• 5:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: And this is how safety works.
• 5:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: And this is where so many people get it wrong.
• 5:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because they try to tell themselves, oh, I'm safe.
• 6:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: Or they'll try these breathing exercises or regulation tools.
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  [SPEAKER_00]: But what they're really trying to do is avoid the feeling.
• 6:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: But if you can acknowledge that your nervous system
• 6:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: that your brain is always watching you, and you choose how to respond in those moments and show your brain that this is in dangerous, that alone is the easiest way to turn off these alarms.
• 6:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now, as I was practicing this, I would notice that when the symptoms would get really high, I'd start second guessing myself.
• 6:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: I start telling myself, hey, I don't think I'm showing myself that I'm safe.
• 6:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: My brain doesn't realize I'm safe.
• 6:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: Am I doing something to make it seem like it's dangerous?
• 6:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: Am I doing something wrong here?
• 6:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: And what I want you to avoid doing, the mistake I made, which is don't overthink this, respond and move on.
• 6:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's so fascinating because when we're stuck in this cycle, the idea of doing less becomes like a full-time job in our head, because we end up over complicating everything.
• 6:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so I want to give you a simple framework that we use in the program that, you know, where we're coaching people through this, a simple framework that you can use with your symptoms, whether it's a thought, whether it's a physical sensation, whether it's chronic pain, whether it's even an emotion.
• 7:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: The method goes like this.
• 7:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's called alarm.
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  [SPEAKER_00]: We call it alarm because your alarm systems are going off.
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  [SPEAKER_00]: And each letter has something attached to it.
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  [SPEAKER_00]: So the first
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  [SPEAKER_00]: acknowledged that the symptom is there.
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  [SPEAKER_00]: Don't run away from it, don't hide from it, acknowledge the elephant in the room.
• 7:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: The symptom is here.
• 7:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's okay.
• 7:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: L. L stands for label the symptom.
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  [SPEAKER_00]: label it as a nervous system symptom.
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  [SPEAKER_00]: You can also label that as anxiety or a nervous system issue.
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  [SPEAKER_00]: Whatever you decide, label it.
• 7:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: Then a, accept, accept this symptom to be there.
• 7:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: Don't fight it.
• 7:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: Don't resist it.
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  [SPEAKER_00]: Allow it to be there.
• 7:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: Try to accept your symptom and if that feels too hard.
• 7:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: allow this symptom to be there.
• 7:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: And if that seems too hard to tolerate the symptom to be there.
• 7:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then the last two is probably one of the most important because it's really easy to miss, which is, are, are just means refocus, acknowledge, label, accept the symptom being there, and refocus on.
• 8:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you're washing the dishes, go back to washing dishes.
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  [SPEAKER_00]: If you're laying in bed,
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  [SPEAKER_00]: Just lay in bed, do whatever you were gonna do as if you weren't even having these symptoms.
• 8:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: What would you have done in this moment?
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  [SPEAKER_00]: Just go do that.
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  [SPEAKER_00]: And M, move on, let it go.
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  [SPEAKER_00]: Don't try to figure this out.
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  [SPEAKER_00]: Don't try to think, what did I do right?
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  [SPEAKER_00]: What did I do wrong?
• 8:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: What does this symptom mean?
• 8:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: What does this emotion mean?
• 8:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: Don't get into this overthinking pattern.
• 8:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: You can get curious with emotions later on in the journey.
• 8:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: When your nervous system descensitizes, there is a time for that.
• 8:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: But when you're desensitizing your nervous system right now, when the alarm systems are going off, this is not the time to analyze.
• 8:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: So this is one of the many frameworks we teach.
• 8:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: Try to apply this framework today.
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  [SPEAKER_00]: Do it for a week.
• 8:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: See how it turns out.
• 9:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: And let me know what you think in the comments.
• 9:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: And again, if you want to know more about the coaching program, check out the description down below.
• 9:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: And if you want to know the brutal truths about healing your nervous system, not holding back anything, make sure to check out this video right here.
• 9:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: Thanks for watching.