Latest / Grounded and Guided: Channeled Insight, Real Life Lessons and Spirit Lead Conversations for Transformation and Change / 8 Ways to Get Yourself Out of a Funk (and Feel Like Yourself Again)
Transcript
- 0:00Hello world, and welcome to Grounded and Guided.
- 0:04I'm your host, Lynette Waltham, and I'm just so grateful that you're choosing
- 0:09this moment to be here with me Today I want to address something that I
- 0:15have been walking through recently.
- 0:19And what spurred this was a question that come up in a podcast
- 0:26interview that I had a while ago,
- 0:29and that's about, what do we do when we're in a funk?
- 0:34What do we do when we're maybe not feeling like ourselves?
- 0:39How do we essentially shift our energy, sometimes move our mood?
- 0:46How do we kinda get back into that space that we're wanting to get back into?
- 0:53Now, for me, I can really recognize when I am not myself, when I feel off, when
- 1:01I feel in a funk, when I feel that my energy has been affected, and that's
- 1:06just come from years of doing this work, moving through the, the journey, and just
- 1:13that learning process, the being aware of myself and being connected with my
- 1:20body and learnings that I've dived into and, and things that I share with people.
- 1:26That's how I can be so in tune to what is happening.
- 1:32So I just want you to recognize, first and foremost, you can get there, too.
- 1:36I feel like that's always the message that I, I want people to
- 1:39recognize is you can get there, too.
- 1:43So today I just, I kinda wanna talk about how we can maybe recognize
- 1:51if we are in a funk or maybe not in our normal and then just some tools
- 1:57of how we can shift our energy, shift our mood, shift our vibration
- 2:04So what does that kind of like funk feel like?
- 2:08I want to compare and contrast what maybe a normal steady state
- 2:14feels like as compared to a funk.
- 2:18So for me, that normal steady state is I feel light.
- 2:25I feel energized.
- 2:27I feel full of personal power, that energy is flowing through me, and I feel like
- 2:34there's a direction that I can put that energy towards I, like I can feel joy, I
- 2:41can be in the present moment, I feel very connected with people and the world around
- 2:45me and the universe, the higher power, my spirit guides, and the energy of creation.
- 2:53That, that's my normal.
- 2:55But just recognize, like it took a lot for me to get there.
- 2:59That wasn't my normal 10 years ago.
- 3:01That wasn't my normal two years ago.
- 3:04The, and the normal of me today isn't even the normal that I
- 3:08had maybe even six months ago.
- 3:11But I do recognize that there are some characteristics that are normal for me.
- 3:18And that steady state for me is also, like I can feel my personal power, in my belly.
- 3:25So right above my solar plexus chakra, um, there is an energy center there, and
- 3:33I can really connect with that easily.
- 3:35It's vibrant, it's moving, it's expanded.
- 3:40That to me is my normal, my steady state.
- 3:44From a nervous system standpoint, I am regulated.
- 3:49I am safe, and I'm holding that ventral vagus nerve state where there's, like,
- 3:58deep connection with myself and the world
- 4:02so now in contrast, that space when I don't feel like myself, I feel down.
- 4:11Negativity more easily wants to slide in, there's an edge to my behavior and
- 4:17how I treat people, where once there is a softness and a cushion, when I'm
- 4:24not myself, there's that edge there.
- 4:26I really kind of just like lose positivity.
- 4:29The light within me really does seem to dim because I do struggle
- 4:34with connecting to the energy.
- 4:37Connecting to energy doesn't wanna flow.
- 4:40And then, then I start to kinda distrust myself.
- 4:43I distrust my body I can't really feel the energy moving in my body.
- 4:51So all of that then therefore, like I have nothing to give.
- 4:55The idea that I'm going to help and serve people, no.
- 4:59No way, no shape, no form.
- 5:02And I also too, , I don't want a lot of interaction.
- 5:06I don't want a lot of stimulus.
- 5:08I don't want anything that's going to get my energy going
- 5:12and get my energy to respond.
- 5:14I feel like I don't want to put anything into my world.
- 5:19I wanna contract and I want to, like I wanna contract and I want my
- 5:25energy to be almost very, like, held.
- 5:30And over the last month, I've been in this state, and it started because I
- 5:36got sick, and then that kind of turned into a cough, so I have no choice.
- 5:42I had no… I have no choice but to kind of shut down and contract because my
- 5:46body needs that energy to heal itself.
- 5:50I need to contain that.
- 5:51I need to allow that to work for me first.
- 5:57But what I also recognize when I'm looking at that from a nervous system perspective
- 6:03of how some of these things have played out for me is that was a freeze response.
- 6:10I needed to, to basically stop, almost immobilize myself, shut myself down
- 6:18completely, retract and do nothing
- 6:23And so you might be wondering why the freeze response, Lynette?
- 6:27Why did your nervous system shut you down like that?
- 6:34And it's just really apparent to me as I've been doing a like a little
- 6:38bit of reflection, as that I was doing big things, and every time I was doing
- 6:45big things, , my nervous system was very much in a sympathetic state.
- 6:49I was kind of in this, like, fight or fli- flight area, where I'm, I'm stressed
- 6:55because I'm pushing myself out of my comfort zone a little bit kinda pushing
- 7:00my levels of safety to try and expand myself, and do new practices, s- create
- 7:08new projects, and even, like, really put myself into- out into the world.
- 7:12Like, even with this podcast, this is kind of a big thing.
- 7:16And so one thing after the other, those little pushes, those little
- 7:21pushes, and maintaining myself in a, little bit of a stressed state.
- 7:28And then throwing a few just bigger things in my path that really challenged
- 7:35me just caused me to absolutely shut down, absolutely freeze, immobilize
- 7:40and retreat And I've just had to have to learn to accept that's what's going
- 7:47on, and this is something that is kind of a pattern that I've navigated
- 7:54been reflecting on this a lot.
- 7:57Over the last six years of d- choosing to go into spiritual entrepreneurship,
- 8:05there's many times where my nervous system is being challenged, is being pushed, and
- 8:12logically when you're owning a business, you kinda wanna keep, like, pushing
- 8:17those boundaries, pushing those barriers because you're building a business.
- 8:21But there comes a point where your nervous system just can't take it anymore, so
- 8:26boom, I get, , totally sent into a freeze response, shut down, immobilization,
- 8:33so that I have to just learn to
- 8:38Reset, recalibrate, redefine safe for myself, redefine where I'm
- 8:45walking and how I'm getting there.
- 8:49And in the past, I didn't have the knowledge, the skills, and
- 8:52the tools that I have today, so I would keep pushing that.
- 8:56So getting sick was happening, like, quite frequently for me.
- 9:02Now, things are a little bit different.
- 9:04This is the first shutdown that I've experienced in probably about
- 9:08a year, and so I'm approaching that a little bit differently.
- 9:11I'm allowing myself to get a little bit more curious, and I am
- 9:17bringing my awareness back to those tools that help me walk back into
- 9:24my work, into my passions, into my purpose in a safe space
- 9:28So I really wanted to use this podcast to talk about those things that walk
- 9:36me back there, talk about those tools that help me get back into that space
- 9:44where I feel like my normal self, where I feel energized, I feel my personal
- 9:50power, I feel energy moving through me, I want to share with the world,
- 9:55I want to live in an expanded way.
- 9:59I want the joy, I wanna be in the present moment, and I wanna be connected again.
- 10:05So how do I get there?
- 10:07How do I go from this place of being negative, very contracted, feeling
- 10:15helpless, feeling lost, distrusting myself, distrusting my body, not wanting
- 10:21to give, and just wanting to shut out everything that I always interact with?
- 10:29How do I go from that in a span of, , even just a couple weeks?
- 10:32Sometimes it can even be, like, a day.
- 10:34I can pop back and forth, but when I'm in these big bubbles it takes time.
- 10:39It takes kind of weeks to shift back into my gear, shift back into
- 10:47how I interact with the world.
- 10:50So I think the very starting point to help create that shift is just recognizing
- 10:57that I am safe Sometimes that means, , I need to put a hand on my chest or
- 11:03even, , connect deeper down with that chi center, down in that solar plexus chakra
- 11:08area, and just remind myself I am safe.
- 11:14And that is something sometimes you gotta say over and over throughout
- 11:18the course of the day, "I am safe.
- 11:20I am safe." Because as I start to lose that positivity, and you kind of are
- 11:26in a nervous system dysregulated state that's where, , the fear and the anxiety
- 11:33, starts to creep in, so constantly trying to remind myself that I am safe.
- 11:38And I will also start to get really wrapped up in, in the doing, that,
- 11:44oh, like, I need to do this, and I need to do… I need to do that.
- 11:47And that gets a whole other type of energy going.
- 11:51It feeds into that nervous system dysregulation.
- 11:55So instead of feeling like I need to jump from one task to another to
- 11:58another to another, like clean my house, organize this closet, and run
- 12:03here with my kids, do the garden, just, uh, task after task, there's
- 12:07nervous system dysregulation there.
- 12:09I am the doing because I am not feeling safe.
- 12:14So I just kind of have to bring it back, hand on chest, hand on my energy center,
- 12:21and just remind myself that I am safe.
- 12:24Take that breath in, exhale it out, and I am safe.
- 12:32And that might mean deep breathing for multiple breaths.
- 12:36Three is great, just to bring myself back to that reality that I am safe.
- 12:42And when my head kind of starts spinning and that anxiety wants
- 12:46to creep in, I have to tell myself that I am safe And I have to remind
- 12:53myself that my basic needs are met.
- 12:56There's food on my table, I have clothing on my back, I have shelter
- 13:00over my head, and I have water to drink, and those basic needs will be met in
- 13:06the present and in the near future.
- 13:08So that really helps to remind myself that I am safe
- 13:14And sometimes just those practices can take days, can take weeks.
- 13:18Just constantly reminding myself that I am safe to try and just get
- 13:22that nervous system to regulate
- 13:26Another thing that I do is I reflect.
- 13:29I remember where I once was and how I felt, and I remind myself that I,
- 13:36I never want to feel like that again.
- 13:39So it's not for me to, to be hard on myself.
- 13:44It's just to remind myself how far I have really transformed and shifted, and that
- 13:52I have the knowledge, the skills, and the tools to not go back there again.
- 13:57So that, that helps to kind of just ground me a little bit, and it is that
- 14:03small motivation to keep moving forward, to keep leaning on my toolkit to help
- 14:10me regulate my nervous system, to help me shift my energy, and to keep trying
- 14:17things when I feel like trying things.
- 14:19And like I mentioned before, I have to not be hard on myself.
- 14:24That's one thing that I've really had to learn and navigate through having cough
- 14:31that lingered for 30 days in my past.
- 14:34I've really had to
- 14:36go easy on myself Because life, everything ebbs and it flows.
- 14:43Everything is energy.
- 14:44Energy has movement.
- 14:46So there's going to be waves.
- 14:49There's going to be ebbs and flows.
- 14:51And just to be able to embrace that and remind myself that I'm here
- 14:56having a human experience, and that experience is all about change, growth,
- 15:01evolution, or the lack thereof it.
- 15:04And so I just have to really just be kind to myself and recognize
- 15:10that I might be in an ebb
- 15:13But that ebb is going to shift at , some point in time.
- 15:18And if I can keep leaning on my tools and my knowledge and my skill sets,
- 15:24then eventually there's a shift that will come when that shift needs to come.
- 15:30And that's a big part of what I'd say is, is number four,
- 15:36and that's about this faith.
- 15:38This faith that I have that a shift will come, a change will come.
- 15:44It might not be instantaneous.
- 15:46It might not be the very next day, and it might not be or look
- 15:52exactly how I think it's gonna look.
- 15:54But I just have faith like that old saying, like the tides will turn the shift
- 15:58will come, change will come as long as I have faith and I keep being open to it and
- 16:04allowing myself to continue to interact with the world to help support that shift
- 16:11so the next practice that I lean into or call upon when I am trying to shift
- 16:19myself out of a funk, get that energy to move, is I go back to the basics.
- 16:26So for me, the basics are journaling, moving my body, and Reiki meditation.
- 16:33So when I'm in that funk, and maybe I'm in that funk because my physical body is not
- 16:39healthy I can get myself to a place where maybe I can do a little bit of journaling.
- 16:44Because I can't maybe physically move my body.
- 16:48I just can't get there.
- 16:49I don't have the energy.
- 16:51I don't have those, , that capability.
- 16:53But maybe there is some energy that I can move by just writing.
- 16:57Just even moving thoughts out of my head, putting them on paper.
- 17:02That can kind of really help us shift.
- 17:05And for me, that is my basic.
- 17:09That is the very first tool that I learned as a teenager that really kind
- 17:16of helped me to stabilize my nervous system, and it is still my go-to.
- 17:21It is something that just really allows me to process thoughts, feelings,
- 17:28emotions, and it's so easily accessible
- 17:34the next basic for me is moving my body, And this one has brought me kind
- 17:39of a lot of grief in those moments where I am in that funk, and my body is
- 17:47physically unwell and/or it's capable, but not to the point where I can move
- 17:54my body to the level that I want to.
- 17:56So there has been a lot of grief and a lot of hardship on myself over the
- 18:01years because moving my body in a very
- 18:06Fast, aggressive movement really help me regulate my nervous system,
- 18:11to really help me to heal, to really help me move emotions through my body.
- 18:18But that can't always be my go-to because I am not physically well.
- 18:22I don't have the lung capacity if I've got a cough for 30 days.
- 18:27So I have to lean on other ways . So sometimes what your
- 18:33body really needs is slow, gentle movement, things like yoga, qigong
- 18:41Just walking
- 18:42But to me, just the idea of moving my body is a basic and I know it might
- 18:48not be a basic for other people, or you're still finding those basics
- 18:53but that is one that really does help me to get back into my energy flow,
- 19:00to really get things to shift for me
- 19:03And the other one that I mentioned is Reiki meditation.
- 19:08So this is another practice that I learned, at the start
- 19:12of my awakening journey.
- 19:16And when I say awakening, I really mean like awakening to myself,
- 19:20awakening to my body, awakening to energy, and really just coming alive.
- 19:27And so this tool just really helped me to find safety in the present moment and
- 19:34Reiki is just another way to move energy.
- 19:38I often use it to help clear myself, clear my clients, of these energies
- 19:44that maybe might be sticking to us or that we've sponged up.
- 19:49And so it can really help to move some of those energies.
- 19:54But I recognize when I'm in those moments where I'm not trusting myself, I'm not
- 19:58trusting my body, I feel very contracted, I'm in more of a negative space,
- 20:03moving energy isn't accessible to me.
- 20:06It's almost like the dimmer switch has really been turned down, and
- 20:12I can't seem to, to turn it up
- 20:17and when I get to those space that those basics are not working for
- 20:22me, I'm not getting the shift, I'm not getting the energy moving, I'm
- 20:27still feeling helpless, hopeless, my faith is really downgraded, then I
- 20:35start looking for some external help.
- 20:39Sometimes in those moments, what I really need is I need some joy,
- 20:44and that's when you feel pulled to bring a friend into the mix.
- 20:50And sometimes that friend can just give you a laugh to help shift that energy.
- 20:56Sometimes that friend can be that sounding board.
- 20:59There's some things that you need to talk out as a way to kind of get that energy
- 21:04moving, and if you're really lucky, you have friends that you can go deep
- 21:09with, that you can vault things with.
- 21:11So I learned the term vault from Brene Brown, and when you have a friendship
- 21:16and you're able to discuss something and put it in the vault, there is a
- 21:21level of safety there, and there is a level of trust in that relationship
- 21:26that creates such a deep connection.
- 21:28And I am very blessed.
- 21:30I have built those relationships in my life.
- 21:34I have friends that we can vault together, and sometimes that's really what I need,
- 21:41is I need to be able to talk it out.
- 21:43I need to bring someone else into kind of the energetic mix with
- 21:49me, whether for them to be able to take what I'm carrying or whether
- 21:54I just need, I need their energy.
- 21:56I need them to help me laugh because I can't seem to laugh myself.
- 22:00I need to feel their positivity.
- 22:03I need to feel their vibrancy to help me to move my mood, shift my energy,
- 22:10and sometimes I really need to lean on my mentors So I've worked with different
- 22:16mentors and coaches, different stages, and often I need to lean on expertise.
- 22:24I need a different perspective, and sometimes that just
- 22:28doesn't come from my friends.
- 22:30I love my friends, but kind of working in the world that I work in, sometimes
- 22:36I need to talk to another entrepreneur.
- 22:39Sometimes I need just a higher perspective.
- 22:44Sometimes I need help channeling me and my guides again, and, , I need that help from
- 22:52those that I know that can support me.
- 22:55Sometimes I need clearing.
- 22:57Sometimes I need help getting out of my own way.
- 23:02And so working with my mentors and coaches can help me to shift reset
- 23:08my energy, clear my auric field be able to just do some of that
- 23:15energetic work that I am maybe not having the capacity to see for myself
- 23:20And my coaches and my mentors have also really helped me to continue to move
- 23:26forward as I have walked in this journey.
- 23:30Choosing change is hard.
- 23:31Choosing change activates your nervous system and brings up dysregulation.
- 23:36It's going to happen because change sends us into places that are
- 23:42uncomfortable, places we've never walked before, actions that we've never
- 23:47taken . And so that brings up fear.
- 23:50All of those things that activate stress responses.
- 23:55And so the key is to not stay in that stress response the whole time, to try and
- 24:02get yourself back to that regulated state, to shift your energy, to move your mood,
- 24:08and my coaches and my mentors, they kind of help me to remind myself to use
- 24:14those skills, use those tools, use that knowledge, Lynette, so that you don't
- 24:20stay stuck in this place for too long.
- 24:25And , my mentors and my coaches, they can see when I'm maybe needing a little bit
- 24:30of rest and when I need, to, , retreat a little bit from the world, and when
- 24:35I am pulling back because of fear
- 24:38And then they can gently and lovingly help me to move forward
- 24:46And those mentors too, they can remind us of the faith we have, that
- 24:53there's like the ebbs and the flows.
- 24:54They can give you that perspective for you to recognize that the funk or the
- 24:59energy that we're in might not last as long as we feel that it's going to last.
- 25:07And that can be like super beneficial and maybe even , help it shift quicker
- 25:12and one of my other go-tos to help create that energy shift, get me back to me,
- 25:20pull myself out of that funk is nature.
- 25:24Nature can be such a soothing, supportive aspect to pull yourself out of a funk.
- 25:32A simple walk in fresh air and sunshine can do so much for us.
- 25:38At the beginning of my journey, I swam a lot.
- 25:41Just having a good float in a lake just really allowed nature to kind of be this
- 25:48sponge and pull energy from me that I no longer wanted to carry I have just
- 25:57gone for walks or spent time outside to just see the beauty in colorful flowers.
- 26:04In the wintertime, like, see the beauty of the snow when it sparkles in the
- 26:09sun, see how the hoarfrost makes trees just look so lovely, and it kinda
- 26:16just helps to ground and reset and help me move that mood that I am in.
- 26:23we can watch a growth process in plants and it help just kind of to bring back
- 26:30that gratitude that maybe we've kind of been missing when we're in that funk
- 26:36And there are times, I'm not gonna lie, when I have had the urge to wrap
- 26:42my arms around a big tree and just allow it to take all that it needed
- 26:48to take from me, just draw it out.
- 26:50' Cause, you know, trees are strong.
- 26:52They're grounded.
- 26:53They're rooted.
- 26:54They're powerful
- 26:56They can withstand a lot, and they can be like a sponge for some of that energy
- 27:02that we need , to release to help us shift
- 27:07so there you have it.
- 27:08There are going to be ebbs and flows.
- 27:10Your energy's gonna - change.
- 27:12We're gonna get into a funk.
- 27:14Our nervous system is gonna be dysregulated.
- 27:17We are going to have times when we feel hopeless, helpless, maybe
- 27:22we're in super anxious places.
- 27:24That is the experience of being a human.
- 27:27But we don't have to stay there.
- 27:28We can learn how to interact with those ebbs and those flows
- 27:34and so to recap my eight ways of how I get myself out of a funk is
- 27:42Number one,
- 27:43I remind myself that I am safe.
- 27:46Number two, I remember how far I have come Number three I just try not to
- 27:53be too hard on myself Number four is I lean into faith Five, you go back to
- 27:59the basics, back to my basic practices
- 28:02Six, reach out to friends.
- 28:04Let them in
- 28:06Number seven, it's okay to ask for help.
- 28:08Work with a mentor, work with a coach, work with a practitioner
- 28:13And lastly, number eight Explore nature Take care, my friends