Latest / Bye Bye Panic / Why Your Nervous System Feels Overwhelmed (All the Time)

Transcript

Why Your Nervous System Feels Overwhelmed (All the Time) · Bye Bye Panic

• 0:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you're dealing with a nervous system that's constantly overwhelmed and it feels like everything is harder for you than it should be, then you need to understand why your nervous system gets overwhelmed in the first place.
• 0:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because most people assume overwhelmed simply means they have too much going on in their life.
• 0:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: But then they look around and wonder, why can other people handle so much more than I can without falling apart?
• 0:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so in this video, I want to share with you a simple reframe that will change how you view overwhelm moving forward.
• 0:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I will show you a framework on how to stop overwhelm next time you feel it.
• 0:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: Let's jump right in.
• 0:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: First, we need to define what is overwhelm, because it's not just having too much to do with too little time.
• 0:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: Here's how to view overwhelm.
• 0:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: Overwhelm is what happens when your nervous system perceives the demand is greater than your available capacity and resources.
• 0:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: Simply put, whatever you perceive in the moment is greater than what you feel like you can give.
• 1:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: Whether that's from an energy standpoint, time standpoint, resource standpoint, and when your nervous system perceives that the demand is greater,
• 1:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: that's when you feel overwhelmed.
• 1:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now, I want to preface with you that this is what we teach people when they're dealing with intense anxiety and nervous system conditions that prevent them from leaving their house and it's these same principles that help even once they heal and recover and helping them in situations where they might feel overwhelmed.
• 1:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: so both aspects apply here.
• 1:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: So this can mean that you get an uncomfortable bodily sensation and now part of your attention is stuck monitoring it when you should be working.
• 1:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: And this can also mean that you have 10 things to do today and you already feel stretched then.
• 1:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: and you feel like all of it is urgent at the same time.
• 1:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: But regardless of the scenario, your nervous system feels like the demand is greater than your own capacity.
• 2:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: And it's important to understand this because it's not about having too much.
• 2:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because you can have two people with the exact same workload and experience things completely differently.
• 2:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: One could be calm in the moment and get things done.
• 2:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: The other one can feel so overwhelmed, so paralyzed,
• 2:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: And ironically, when this happens, you'll notice the people that are overwhelmed, almost stop doing anything.
• 2:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: They almost become paralyzed on what to do.
• 2:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: They get frazzled, they get confused.
• 2:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so if you're dealing with this, the quick answer might be, okay, I got too much on my plate.
• 2:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: And that might be true, and I'll show you the framework.
• 2:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: But how I want you to view this is not overwhelm as something bad or something that you should avoid.
• 2:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I want you to reframe overwhelm.
• 2:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: Overwhelm is just a sign of your growth.
• 2:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's it.
• 2:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: Overwhelm is a sign that you're expanding your capacity.
• 3:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're growing.
• 3:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: When I was dealing with chronic symptoms and I couldn't leave my house, I remember leaving my house was so overwhelming.
• 3:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: And anytime that happened, what I would do is I would feel the overwhelm, and I would retreat.
• 3:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: And the same feeling happened whenever I was growing by by panic, and I was having so many people reach out to work with me, I was asking myself, okay, how am I going to hope everybody?
• 3:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: I had that same sense of overwhelm.
• 3:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: And a big reframe for me, was that overwhelm wasn't a bad feeling.
• 3:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: It wasn't something that I needed to avoid.
• 3:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: In fact, whenever I was growing, whenever I was expanding, I
• 3:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: I was going to feel overwhelmed, and if you think about it and make sense, right, whenever you're feeling stretched, whenever you're pushing past your boundaries, whenever you're hitting that next level, where you're going to feel overwhelmed in the moment.
• 3:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: And that's because your nervous system hasn't been able to respond to the demand yet.
• 3:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: It hasn't been familiar enough.
• 3:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so what people do is that they feel that in the nervous system and then they retreat.
• 3:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: But the problem with that is that they stay stuck and then you know five years ten years goes by and nothing changes.
• 4:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: All because not that they didn't have dreams or goals, but they just didn't have a healthy relationship with overwhelm.
• 4:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: But if you can reframe overwhelm as a sign of growth,
• 4:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: And whenever you feel overwhelm, your nervous system wants to stay comfortable.
• 4:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: So it gives you that sense of overwhelm saying, hey, this is new.
• 4:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: This is uncharted territory.
• 4:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: Let's just go back, right?
• 4:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: overwhelm is not a good feeling.
• 4:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so it's a way for your nervous system to kind of keep you where you're at.
• 4:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: But if you can acknowledge it, hey, thank you nervous system.
• 4:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: I appreciate it.
• 4:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: But we are going to stretch.
• 4:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: We are going to grow.
• 4:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: What that does is that that changes your relationship with overwhelmed and overwhelmed doesn't seem as something bad, but in fact as an indicator that you're heading in the right direction.
• 4:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: This change helped me not only overcome my symptoms, but grow by by panic until like one of the biggest nervous system companies in the world.
• 4:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so while you're listening to this, you might be wondering, yes, Sean, but like, what if there is too much on my plate?
• 5:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: What if an overwhelm is a sign that I have too much going on?
• 5:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: Well, I'm going to give you a framework walking you through how to handle overwhelm, how to determine is it because your nervous system is expanding, or you actually have too much on your plate?
• 5:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so it's a simple four-step framework that you can use any time you're feeling overwhelmed.
• 5:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: Step number one is admitting your overwhelmed.
• 5:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: It sounds silly and most people skip this step, but this step is incredibly important because the more overwhelmed you become, the worse you become at solving the things that overwhelm you.
• 5:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: Think about it.
• 5:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: When you're overwhelmed, do you actually get more things done?
• 5:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: you might get a sense of urgency, you might notice you're more reactive, you might even notice that you're avoidant and maybe irritable, and you might even notice you have difficulty prioritizing, where do I start first?
• 5:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: When you're overwhelmed, you actually become less effective, and you'll notice this because you'll have the sense of urgency.
• 6:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: I need to make this symptom go away.
• 6:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: I need to get all my tasks done and I need to get it done now.
• 6:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: Whenever you're noticing this
• 6:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: Just wait a second and admit, I'm feeling overwhelmed right now, once you acknowledge that you're overwhelmed.
• 6:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: This leads me to point two, which is step away.
• 6:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: Stop trying to solve things.
• 6:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: Everything you need to get done, don't do it.
• 6:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: This is going to feel very uncomfortable because like I mentioned, you're going to have the sense of urgency.
• 6:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: I need to get this done now.
• 6:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: And now you're doing the opposite.
• 6:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, you're saying, okay, I'm not going to do any of this.
• 6:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's going to feel very uncomfortable.
• 6:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: But like I mentioned in point one,
• 6:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: the more overwhelmed you become, the less effective you are at solving the things that are overwhelming you.
• 6:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: So what you want to do is just step away and do something that has nothing to do with what's going on in the moment.
• 6:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: So if you have a bunch of tasks and you feel like I got to get it all done, just take a step back.
• 7:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: and do something for yourself.
• 7:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: Just for a little bit, what I like to do is I actually like to go for walks.
• 7:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: Either walking around the neighborhood or walking at a park, just walking, and not problem-solving while walking, just, you know, going in nature, taking a moment.
• 7:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe I feel less overwhelmed after the walk, maybe not, doesn't matter.
• 7:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: The main point is not trying to solve it in the moment.
• 7:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: Once you do that thing for you, whether it's a walk, just hanging out,
• 7:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: Why are you overwhelmed?
• 7:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: See overwhelmed often feels like there's too much.
• 7:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: I can't handle it But this is the moment where you ask yourself.
• 7:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay What specifically is making me overwhelmed?
• 7:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you have to get seven things done today and then you take a look at those seven things and you're like actually Only two of those things matter three can actually wait and in fact one can even be delegated I don't even have to do that and
• 7:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: And one, I can cut that.
• 7:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know what, I'm not even gonna do that.
• 7:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's not even relevant right now.
• 7:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: Take you a moment and ask you, okay, what is making me overwhelmed right now?
• 8:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: What is it?
• 8:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: Is it a feeling?
• 8:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: Is it all the tasks?
• 8:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: Write them out.
• 8:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: What are things that I can delegate?
• 8:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: What are things I can cut?
• 8:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: What are things that are a big priority right now?
• 8:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: And what are things that aren't so urgent?
• 8:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: This turns one giant threat that's going in your head into individual problems that are more manageable.
• 8:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: And look, sometimes all seven things are important.
• 8:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: And this isn't a matter of cutting anything, you genuinely have too much going on.
• 8:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: You have a lot on your plate.
• 8:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: Your nervous system is not misleading anything.
• 8:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: And this leads me to the final point, which is taking responsibility.
• 8:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: What does this mean?
• 8:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: See, when you have too much on your plate, you have to ask yourself, okay,
• 8:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm in the situation right now.
• 8:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: Why am I in this situation?
• 8:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: Is it because this is a very isolated situation where everything happened all at once and I need to resolve it ASAP or is this because I said yes to too many things because I didn't really set my boundaries correctly.
• 9:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: And maybe I have an issue of people pleasing and I can't say no because I want people to like me.
• 9:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I took all more than I could chew.
• 9:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe I'm just not that great with schedule management.
• 9:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe I'm not good at managing my schedule and I just ended up saying yes to more things.
• 9:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: Step number four is very important, but it's also very confronting, because it forces you to take responsibility in where you place yourself in this situation.
• 9:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, I remember when, you know, I was growing, you know, by my panic, and I'd never really grown a company before, you know, I was somebody couldn't leave his house.
• 9:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: I couldn't even have a normal job.
• 9:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: And now I'm like building a company.
• 9:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: I remember when I would hire people and have them do things.
• 9:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: I remember sometimes, you know, I'd have them do a task and they wouldn't really do it.
• 9:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: And what I would do, anytime they wouldn't do the task, is I would get frustrated.
• 9:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I would jump in and I would do the task myself.
• 9:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: I would basically become the savior.
• 10:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, if a problem wasn't there, I would basically come in and put out the fire.
• 10:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: And what I noticed is that when I did that long enough, I began resenting the people I hired.
• 10:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because I was like, this is something that you should be able to do.
• 10:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: Why am I coming here to do your job?
• 10:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm basically paying you twice.
• 10:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm doing the work and I'm paying you to do the work that I'm doing.
• 10:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I used to feel overwhelmed and I realized.
• 10:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: that I wasn't setting these individuals up for success.
• 10:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: That sure may be I'd hired the wrong person and you know that had happened a few times.
• 10:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: But sometimes I also not train the person.
• 10:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: I hadn't set them up for success.
• 10:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: Step 4, made me take responsibility of that fact, where I recognize that the reason why I was overwhelmed is because I was setting an expectation with someone and not having them set up for success.
• 10:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: I didn't give them the right frameworks, everything lived in my head.
• 10:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: And same things might be happening to you.
• 11:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: You might feel like you're overextending yourself.
• 11:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: And a big reason for that is because you've said yes so much that people almost expect
• 11:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: more from you.
• 11:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so because you don't want to disappoint, you say yes, more you do the thing, but then you notice you begin resenting the person.
• 11:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so as much as you would want to blame that other person for not respecting your time, because you didn't say no, you also have to take accountability.
• 11:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so step four is where people often miss it completely.
• 11:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: And this is where you'll notice when you're overwhelmed, you start villainizing people.
• 11:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: You feel like it's their fault.
• 11:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's there to blame.
• 11:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: When really it's also asking yourself, and what situation did I put myself in?
• 11:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: How did I put myself here?
• 11:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: And it's an awful little place of blame.
• 11:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's a place of introspection.
• 11:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's a place of reflection.
• 11:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's asking yourself, okay, how can I improve this?
• 11:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: And like I mentioned,
• 11:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes, the answer is, you have too much on your plate.
• 11:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: Then it's asking yourself, why do you have too much on your plate?
• 11:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: Is it an isolated situation right now or is it because, you know, you haven't delegated or you might have not brought in the right people or you just have difficulty saying no.
• 12:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: Doesn't matter what the answer is, the main thing is asking, what's true for you?
• 12:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: This exercise alone will reduce your overwhelm substantially.
• 12:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: And even when you notice you have overwhelm, you'll be able to fix it immediately.
• 12:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: Remember, overwhelm isn't a bad thing.
• 12:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: Often it's the same thing you need to feel in order for your nervous system to expand, to build more resiliency.
• 12:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: And as you do it, what seems overwhelming right now, tomorrow will seem like a piece of cake.
• 12:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: And it's the same thing with your healing journey.
• 12:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you look at how well you're doing now, compared to two or three months ago, two or three months ago,
• 12:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: But now it seems easy.
• 12:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: That doesn't mean you don't have challenges or you don't feel overwhelmed.
• 12:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's just part of your nervous system expanding.
• 12:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so use this practice and let me know in the comments if this is something that's helping you.
• 12:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: By the way, if you want to know more about the recovery program and how we're helping people overcome their chronic symptoms, their hypersensitive nervous system, you can check the link down below.
• 13:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you like this video, do me a favor, subscribe.
• 13:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: Send it to somebody that you might think this video can really help.
• 13:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: And if you want to know how to heal your nervous system,
• 13:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: By doing nothing, make sure to check out this video right here.
• 13:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: Thanks for watching.