Latest / The FEEL Podcast: Women’s Empowerment, Emotional Wellness and Self-Leadership with Melissa Crook / Living for Yourself: Finding Balance Between Helping Others and Self-Care with Teresa Vesneske

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Living for Yourself: Finding Balance Between Helping Others and Self-Care with Teresa Vesneske · The FEEL Podcast: Women’s Empowerment, Emotional Wellness and Self-Leadership with Melissa Crook

• 0:00
  I just noticed that I didn't realize how much I lived for
• 0:05
  others before and how that has evolved.
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  I live for me. Do I bring the do I?
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  Am I? Am I mindful of others?
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  Yes. Am I because I'm an impact?
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  Yes, very much so. But I would say 20 years ago, I
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  wasn't living for me at all, you know, with three kids and a
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  husband and I was on the back burner.
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  And I wish I wouldn't have been, but but I don't look at that
• 0:37
  either. You.
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  Know right? But it is what it is.
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  That was a season of life. I'm in a new season and some
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  days I think, oh, it's all about me.
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  Why am I like this? This isn't right, but it should
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  be. It is all about it.
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  Is hello and welcome back to the Field podcast.
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  Today I'm with a friend that is been a friend of mine for a
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  while. She was with us a couple of
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  seasons ago. Teresa Vesneski is back.
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  It was, it was time to bring her back because her story continues
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  to unfold. And it's such a great example.
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  I think as women, sometimes we will make these changes.
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  We'll get into these new seasons and then we kind of just like,
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  well, I've made all those changes.
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  And so I'm, I'm done making changes.
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  And we, we sometimes get comfortable instead of
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  continuing to stay curious. Yes, you made those evolutions,
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  you made those choices for yourself.
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  Those are great, but wait, there might be more and that's good
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  too. And so staying curious and
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  Teresa is a perfect example of someone who continues to stay
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  curious. And that's that's mine for her.
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  But for her character traits, she came back with dedicated,
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  adventurous and empathetic. And I think those are just spot
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  on for her. Teresa Vesneski, welcome back to
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  The Field Podcast. Hi, Melissa.
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  Thank you for having me again. Oh.
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  I'm excited to be. Here it is.
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  And it's important to note she's principal of AS Neski now.
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  The last time we talked to her, she was teaching.
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  And so there's been a lot of like I said, that's to hint to
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  some of the moves and and changes she's seen since we last
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  had her here a couple years ago. But let's get right back into it
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  and talk to me about since the last time we talked, you were
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  just on the just kind of coming off of several shifts, finishing
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  your degree, becoming a teacher, making some really important
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  health decisions for yourself, a major surgery, therapy.
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  I mean, really, I'm packing a lot of stuff that you had put on
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  the back burner for years. You've had a couple years now
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  since then to continue to live this out and watch this unfold
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  and see what this looks like for you and feels like for you on a
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  daily basis. So what have you learned about
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  yourself care since we talked the last time?
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  I've learned that you can't neglect it.
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  It needs to be continual and it's easy to put it on the back
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  burner. It's really easy to put it on
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  the back burner. Especially those of us that have
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  really chaotic, busy lives and sometimes we put things in our
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  lives to be chaotic, to put that on the back burner too, because
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  it's easy to not play with that piece of our life.
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  So I just think that that it's so important, whatever self-care
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  looks like for you, because it looks different for everybody.
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  You know, I went through a period where therapy was the
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  important piece of my puzzle. Right now, it's not the
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  important piece, although I walk every day with a licensed
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  therapist and I feel like she's my therapist sometimes.
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  I think friends can do that piece of the puzzle at times
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  too. I've moved to a new community
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  kind of that's a whole nother piece of my puzzle where I've
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  met really good friends that fill that piece of myself care.
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  I still have to take care of my health.
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  You know, I had that major surgery where I lost a ton of
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  weight and I don't want that back.
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  So that was when I made this move a year ago.
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  That was one of my big vows to myself was that I wouldn't
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  become sedentary. I wouldn't, I wouldn't gain that
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  weight. And my, my mental goal was I'm
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  going to wear the same pants on the last day of school that I
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  wore on the first day of school. And I did.
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  So that was, and I and I wasn't very like, I mean, when I first
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  had that surgery, it was counting calories and weighing
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  food and, and it was, it was very regimented and I wasn't
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  this year. Yeah.
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  And it's OK. Yeah.
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  And did I have some ups and downs?
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  I sure did. But it's OK and and I'm 55 and
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  is my body starting to fall apart?
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  Yes it is. And can we change, you know, am
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  I running a 5K anymore? No, because my knee won't do it.
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  So, but can I get up and walk in the morning or can I swim now
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  that it's summer in the pools open?
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  Yes. So we just have to find those
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  things that that we can still do in that in that movement
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  exercise department. And then we have to do those
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  things that make us. Happy.
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  I have a group of people in town that I've met that I call us the
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  Bad News Bears. It's just a real eclectic group
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  of people. And I've moved to a town of 300
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  people, very small, very isolated.
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  One business in town is open past 5:00 at night and it
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  happens to be a drinking establishment that all food, you
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  don't have to have an alcoholic beverage when you go in there.
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  I'm known as tater because I like tater tots and they make
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  them there. And we get together one night a
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  week and we just sit around this round table.
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  So it's called round table night.
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  And we just learn about each other and learn about what's
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  going on in the world. And it's myself care and it's
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  great, a great time and I prioritize it.
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  I tell people no other things because that's important to me.
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  Yeah. I love that.
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  That's such a great example and really goes nicely into
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  confidently setting boundaries. You've made this a priority.
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  Other things are not going to move it out of the way.
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  You know this is important for you.
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  You really get your energy from relationships, from people.
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  That's very much a key component of you.
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  And so I'm not surprised at all that you have moved to a town of
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  300 people and found your people in less than a year.
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  That's just, that's who you are. You draw people to you, but you
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  also are mindful of now, I think more so than ever about who you
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  surround yourself with and and you talk to.
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  I'd love that you dress the not measuring and weighing every
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  single thing. I think it's really easy,
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  especially I think for women to get caught up in this
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  restriction mindset. And it's like we can move, move
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  and feel our bodies in a way that's healthy for us without a
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  restriction mindset because the restriction mindset is what
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  creates a really unhealthy relationship with food for us.
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  And you've had to work through that part already.
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  So I'm sure that sucks. I'm like, I don't need to go
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  back to that unhealthy relationship.
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  Yeah. Yeah, and and a school is not an
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  environment to have a healthy relationship with food.
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  A school is horrible place that you know, and I have and and my
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  boss, he is a wonderful gentleman.
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  We I have a boss. I did not know this the
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  Superintendent when I hired. He's a one day a week guy and
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  he's 76 and he's a donut guy and a donut, cookies, muffins,
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  whatever guy. And it's hard to say no and it's
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  hard to walk by them 32 times. And so, yeah, I have a doughnut
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  every once in a while and, and I know it, but like I said, the
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  pants still fit. The pants still fit, fit and
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  just, you know, everything. Is this healthy for me?
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  Is this if it's not once in a while too?
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  Sure. Exactly.
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  Because it's healthy for you can become a very unhealthy question
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  if you're not because your whole life, see, this is such a great
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  example of 1 knowing the boundaries that you need to have
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  in your life. I'm going to fit in these pants.
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  I'm going to make time for these people.
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  But also you understand the impact of the mental, emotional,
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  physical health ramifications when you go down a road that
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  start asking yourself too much because too much of a good thing
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  becomes a bad thing. And that can you know, you are
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  whole holistically applying your health, you're moving your body
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  every day. You're surrounding yourself with
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  people that you connect with. You've put mindful time around,
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  OK, going to fit my these pants and that I mean, whatever you
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  know what that looks like for me.
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  You have taken this new job that felt like your next right thing
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  to do. Talk to me about that decision
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  in this evolution because it required you.
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  You are never afraid to live out of your own expectations versus
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  others. That is, that's always been true
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  of you. And this was probably another
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  one of those choices. But it's also another example of
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  how you show up unapologetically as yourself.
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  But before we jump ahead to that, talk to me next about what
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  you've noticed in your growth with that mental, emotional,
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  physical health since you have started this?
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  New season. I just noticed that I didn't
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  realize how much I lived for others before and how that has
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  evolved. I live for me.
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  Do I bring the do I am I am I mindful of others?
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  Yes. Am I because I'm an impact?
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  Yes right. Very much so, but I would say 20
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  years ago I wasn't living for me at all, you know, with three
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  kids and a husband and I was on the back burner and I wish I
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  wouldn't have been, but but I don't look at that either.
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  You. Know right?
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  But it is what it is. That was a season of life.
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  I'm in a new season and some days I think, oh, it's all about
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  me. Why am I like this?
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  This isn't right, but it should be.
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  It is all about me. It is, but yet I am mindful of
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  others and I, I am still my empathetic, I still in my, you
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  know, my, my love language or whatever they call it is.
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  I'm a gift giver. I'm a, like you said,
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  relationships with others is my thing.
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  It's, you know, I, that's my thing.
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  I love to get to know people and hear their stories and.
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  Yeah, yeah. Why 1 of 300 is perfect for me,
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  A school of next year I'll be in the mid 60s preschool through
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  12th grade and that's a perfect size because I get to know each
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  and every kid in each and every family and that's where I always
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  wanted to be and make an impact. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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  And I think that's such an important piece too.
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  If I think realizing that you're no longer abandoning yourself
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  and now because you're taking the time to prioritize you and
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  fill your cup, you're giving from an outflow and overflow
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  instead of abandoning yourself to have enough energy to give to
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  others. And and.
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  But this outflow and overflow is not only healthy for you, others
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  are getting the healthiest version of you.
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  Yeah, I think that's 100%. I have plenty to give.
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  I take care of me first, make sure that that's taken care of,
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  and then I have that to give to others.
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  And you know, kids are my jam. And what's incredible in this
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  environment is not only do I get kids because I mean, I have, I
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  have less kids in my school here that I had in my classroom in my
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  last assignment. And so I get to know their
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  families and I get to know their grandparents and I get to know,
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  you know, and it's, it's just such an amazing environment to
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  get to have an impact on the entire system.
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  And that's what I wanted. And that's why I went that
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  direction. I just didn't know that it
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  really could happen. I guess.
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  So. Yeah, absolutely.
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  So talk to me about the unfolding of that because I
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  remember, you know, it was about a year ago that you made this
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  announcement. And I was like, Oh my gosh, look
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  at her just continue to fly like, but also like, oh, wow,
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  she's leaving this this space that I know is really important
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  to her. I mean, you have these two
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  communities that have been such a critical part of your life.
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  You, I mean, it was funny. You were in one community.
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  You went to the rival school community.
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  I did I. Did, but they're not not very
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  far apart, but then, but then you made this and and your
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  impact was felt there in all the ways like kids are drawn to you.
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  You are an impact. You are a listener.
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  You're also but you also hold them accountable.
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  Like you have this great balance of allowing them to be seen,
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  known and heard, but not letting them off the hook on what their
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  piece and part of the equation is and how they show up in the
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  world. So you have that gift already.
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  So you being a principle to me as an absolutely natural fit,
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  but also I think the last time we talked, maybe not necessarily
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  something you saw coming. Now, I, I think, you know, 2020
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  happened. We had time on our hands a
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  little bit as educators as far as like continuing education and
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  we know of education as educators are pay scale goes up
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  as we get degrees. So did I want a master's degree?
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  Yeah, I needed a master's degree.
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  So let's get it in something that I might be able to use
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  later in life. Sure.
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  Who knows how late, but later in life, you know, so, oh, let's
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  get an admin degree. Why not?
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  So I started, I did it for a while and then we were back in
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  school. And so I kind of put it on the
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  back burner for a little bit and then I picked it back up again
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  and I'm like, I'm going to finish this.
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  And I and we, we got a new administrator in the elementary
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  school in Reardon who I really liked.
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  And I liked, she and I were quite similar in, in mindset.
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  And I just asked her, I said, hey, can I do my internship with
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  you? Because we, we, we vibed and,
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  you know, I don't know how else to say that.
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  And she's like, yeah. And the district approved.
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  And so I did an internship with her, not even thinking that I
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  was in the realm of leaving Rudin at all.
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  And then in the spring, after I had done some of the work, I
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  kept seeing the bigger impact I could have on kids.
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  Let's, let's just look and see what's out there, you know?
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  And the neighboring district, a couple of neighboring districts
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  had some openings. So I applied and I was really
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  good at being #2 really good. Because I didn't, I mean, I
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  didn't have any experience. Sure.
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  I mean, that was A and I really hadn't been a teacher very long.
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  And, and really my resume, if you looked at it without knowing
• 16:42
  me, you would probably throw it away.
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  I mean, I really hadn't been in the working realm that long
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  because I'd gone from para to teacher to pretty quickly after,
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  after having kids. And then, you know, things
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  unfolded at the end of the school year in Reardon.
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  There were some changes being made.
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  And I don't know if I would say I was unhappy, but I, I wasn't
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  on the same page as the changes being made.
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  And I said, you know, I'm going to apply for a few more jobs.
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  And I pulled up the website with the job links and I see this
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  little town of lacrosse and I had some background knowledge
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  just because my kids high school volleyball coach was from there
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  and, and I knew and, and they had a really good volleyball
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  team back in the day. So I knew of the place a little
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  bit. And so I just emailed the, hey,
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  is this position still open? And the number of connections
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  that I had to this place is just it, it's the weirdest thing
• 17:54
  ever. It's just meant to be kind of
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  thing. Yeah.
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  So the next week I was at a conference and the
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  Superintendent was there and the Superintendent from Davenport
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  was there, and his wife had actually worked here and, wow,
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  graduated from here. And so he connected the two of
• 18:14
  us. I had taught kids in Reardon
• 18:18
  whose mom and dad were from here.
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  I mean, there were also these communities have so many
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  connections. Exactly.
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  And so next thing I know I'm interviewing and next thing I
• 18:30
  know the superintendent's calling me.
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  Can you come down on the, I think it was the 7th of July and
• 18:37
  get approved as our new principal.
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  And I'm like, and I'm telling Ken, you know, my husband, I'm
• 18:43
  going to move 90 miles away at least during the week and take
• 18:48
  this and we'll see what happens. And I, it was just, it's just an
• 18:56
  amazing choice that I made in life.
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  And, you know, and it's not the end.
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  And that's, you know, it's not the end.
• 19:04
  And it's a great place. Like I said, 60 some.
• 19:09
  Last year I had 75 kids. I had 11 kids graduate, which 11
• 19:14
  was a huge class. Next year I'll have 4:00.
• 19:18
  I get to know each and every kid, each and every family, each
• 19:24
  and every teacher. I have a mix of teachers on the
• 19:27
  cusp of retirement and young teachers and so I get to be an
• 19:32
  impact on these young teachers too.
• 19:34
  Sure. Oh, what a great mentor.
• 19:36
  Yeah. Oh, it's just, it's and that's
• 19:39
  what I really wanted to do with these young teachers.
• 19:43
  And I get to do both. I get to.
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  So yeah, it's just the perfect place.
• 19:50
  Yeah, it. Really meets all those
• 19:52
  scenarios. So this goes nicely into showing
• 19:56
  up unapologetically for yourself, which then also
• 19:59
  enables you to support others in showing unapologetically because
• 20:03
  by simply sharing your story and what you've learned and what you
• 20:07
  knew 152025 years ago and what you know now is such a great
• 20:12
  story and example for these kids for these teachers to hear and
• 20:17
  learn from. I mean, so and because this just
• 20:21
  feels like, you know, one of those things of like.
• 20:24
  It might not make sense to everybody, but it totally makes
• 20:27
  sense for me. And I think it it speaks to Ken
• 20:29
  too. Ken knows you.
• 20:31
  Ken knows what fuels you and feeds you.
• 20:34
  And so if you say you're going to do something, Ken's like I'm
• 20:38
  getting in the way. Of that I won't.
• 20:39
  I mean, I'm just going. To get ran over if I do.
• 20:44
  But he understands that and supports that about you.
• 20:47
  I mean, I think there's so many pieces of that that are
• 20:50
  important in this puzzle. But you, this was a decision
• 20:53
  that was like, this is the net. You saw the ability to tap into
• 20:58
  all those things that are strengths that are that light
• 21:02
  you up. That's another form of
• 21:05
  self-care. That's another form of change,
• 21:08
  taking care of you. And so now you're not only able
• 21:11
  to do this and talk about your story, but able to really
• 21:15
  empower others to do that as well.
• 21:19
  Yeah, I think it's really important that if you, you know,
• 21:22
  it was my dream. Yeah.
• 21:25
  So why am I not following that? You know you got it.
• 21:31
  There's nothing we can't do, right?
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  We just, we limit ourselves. Yeah.
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  And, and talk ourselves out of it.
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  I know that I talked myself out of things for years.
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  So I can do it and I am doing it.
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  And I'm going to go further. I just got accepted into WSU
• 21:52
  superintendent's program, so, you know, I'm going further and
• 22:00
  can. Yeah.
• 22:01
  Hey, Ken, I'm going to apply for the superintendent's program.
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  And he said, I think he said, what took you so long?
• 22:08
  You know why? And so he knows, you know, and
• 22:12
  he's on the cusp of retirement and he comes and sits on my back
• 22:16
  porch here and loves watching the quail walk by.
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  And you know, I see that in five years, I, I don't see me going
• 22:25
  anywhere soon. Sure.
• 22:28
  I feel like I'm where I'm supposed to be.
• 22:31
  Yeah. There was something, some power
• 22:34
  that brought me here and, and, and he loves it here.
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  I mean, it's just, it's, it's, I mean, we're in the middle of
• 22:45
  nowhere. Oh, you are.
• 22:46
  You're in the mid. It's a beautiful spot in the
• 22:48
  Palouse. I mean, for people that have
• 22:50
  never been to the Palouse, My husband grew up in the Palouse.
• 22:53
  The Palouse hills are an area of Eastern Washington, primarily
• 22:57
  wheat farms, other things too, but rolling hills and a
• 23:02
  topography really like I've, I've been literally to 48 out of
• 23:06
  50 States and there are very few of any places that look like
• 23:11
  this part of the state of Washington.
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  And it's very different from what other people think when
• 23:16
  they think of the state of Washington, but also very
• 23:19
  beautiful in its own way. I mean, there is nothing like a
• 23:23
  spring day when the pollutes, when the, when the wheat is
• 23:27
  green and the wind is kind of lightly flowing over and the
• 23:31
  sun's out and there's like these waves over these rolling hills.
• 23:34
  The only thing every might I could think of is that's what
• 23:38
  Ireland looks like all the time. And so these spots and I've been
• 23:41
  to Ireland so I get like my mother-in-law used to talk about
• 23:44
  that all the time when she would visit.
• 23:46
  She loved the spring and the rainy time and the police
• 23:49
  because it reminded her and that was her homeland and learned a.
• 23:52
  Lot of I've learned a lot about how it rains out here.
• 23:55
  Oh yeah. And it's from where I used to
• 23:58
  live. And it's different.
• 23:59
  It is. Different.
• 24:00
  It's different and it's, you know, we're between.
• 24:05
  We're kind of on the edge. I would say we're on the edge of
• 24:08
  the Palouse. Yeah.
• 24:10
  Yeah. You know, channeled Scablands,
• 24:14
  they talk about that. We have a lot of assaults not
• 24:17
  far from Palouse Falls, which is a gorgeous natural waterfall
• 24:22
  that I remember taking my niece out there and she goes, well,
• 24:25
  where's the mountain that the waterfalls coming off of?
• 24:27
  Yeah. Well, it doesn't Becca.
• 24:30
  It falls into the ground and she's like what?
• 24:34
  Well, you got to see it. Yeah, but yeah, I mean, we're in
• 24:39
  the middle of nowhere, but we're 1/2 an hour from everything.
• 24:43
  Yes, yeah, You can get to Spokane.
• 24:45
  I mean, you'll fly into Spokane when you go there and you're
• 24:47
  going to be there in an less than an hour and a half.
• 24:50
  I mean, it's, you know, from place to place.
• 24:52
  So, but it's very peaceful also like it is out.
• 24:57
  I mean, it's very peaceful, very strength.
• 25:00
  So that has that those pieces and components of it, but it I,
• 25:05
  I just love I, I wanted to bring that up because it just you
• 25:09
  found these places that feed your soul, like these aren't
• 25:13
  just jobs for you. These are things that feed your
• 25:17
  soul. And I think it's really
• 25:19
  important to realize that yes, you can make those decisions for
• 25:22
  yourself in your 50s, ladies, these aren't, you know, if you,
• 25:26
  if you haven't made those decisions up till now, you can.
• 25:29
  It's not too, too late. You can still do that.
• 25:31
  And so you have done that so beautifully and you have aligned
• 25:36
  your work with your why and your values.
• 25:39
  Talk to me about that evolution and how it feels to be so
• 25:43
  aligned with your why and your values in how you're able to
• 25:47
  show up in the world now. I mean, I joke with my kids, you
• 25:53
  know, They're my kids, all the kids.
• 25:55
  Are. Yes, they are.
• 25:56
  I, I mean, I still go back to Reardon and they're my kids, you
• 25:59
  know, I went to graduation and they're all running out of the
• 26:01
  stands hugging me. You know, I just want them to be
• 26:05
  good people because the joke with them is you're going to be
• 26:10
  good. You're going to give me good
• 26:12
  care when you put me in the home, you know?
• 26:14
  And you know, that's what we need is we just need good people
• 26:19
  in our world. And that's my goal is that I'm
• 26:21
  raising good people, and kids are my thing.
• 26:27
  They've always been my thing. They need people.
• 26:31
  Yeah, a lot of them need, need people in their life to show
• 26:36
  them what being good people is. Yeah, and if they have it in
• 26:41
  them? Yeah, I mean, the kids are
• 26:45
  aren't born naughty. They aren't born in a direction
• 26:50
  that they we don't want them to take.
• 26:53
  They, they learn all that. And can we show them a different
• 26:57
  way or give them a different light in the world?
• 27:03
  I think we can. And so can we show that to all
• 27:06
  of them? Yes.
• 27:08
  And can we give them hope? Yes, and maybe it takes them 20
• 27:12
  years to, you know, send you a note and say, hey, remember when
• 27:17
  I was in the 5th grade and you got mad at me for not doing my
• 27:21
  math or I have a kid that always and he's and I think he's in his
• 27:26
  30s now. He's got to be in his 30s, and
• 27:30
  he still reminds me about the day that I was there at 6:00 AM
• 27:33
  to make sure he had his math paper done before he got on the
• 27:36
  bus to go somewhere because I told him if it wasn't done, he
• 27:39
  wasn't going to get to go. Yeah.
• 27:41
  And that was a life lesson that he learned and.
• 27:44
  And I bet he's a better employee because of it.
• 27:47
  Sure. Absolutely.
• 27:49
  And it's those little things that make an impact.
• 27:52
  Yeah, and we can give kids grace.
• 27:54
  And we need to give kids grace because they're kids too.
• 27:57
  In the end, they're kids. It doesn't matter if they're in
• 27:59
  my preschool class or if they're seniors.
• 28:01
  They're still kids. But we also need to hold them
• 28:05
  accountable. Yeah, you know, and, and and
• 28:09
  show them that you have to be accountable in the world as
• 28:12
  well. Yeah.
• 28:14
  So, but I would say because you love them so well, because they
• 28:19
  feel seen, known and heard, that you asking them to be
• 28:24
  accountable feels like something caring, not like something
• 28:29
  that's just coming down on them. Or I wouldn't.
• 28:34
  Yeah, you know, or, or a part of their identity.
• 28:37
  You like you, you're bad. Like, no, you're it's like you
• 28:41
  made a bad decision. You made a bad choice.
• 28:43
  But you yourself are not bad. And I believe in you and I see
• 28:46
  what you're capable of. So I'm going to challenge you to
• 28:49
  reach what I know you can do. But you enter that in a way
• 28:53
  where you build a trust, you build a bond.
• 28:56
  You've had that gift the whole time I've known you, and beyond
• 29:00
  that, when did you realize that this was a value of yours?
• 29:05
  That this was a. Why would you think motivated
• 29:08
  that? Gosh, I don't know when I
• 29:14
  realized it, I think it was just a natural thing.
• 29:17
  I mean, I taught swimming lessons when I was in junior
• 29:19
  high and, and parents would request me and I, I don't know,
• 29:23
  it's just always been my thing and something from Bible school
• 29:27
  to whatever, just that connection piece.
• 29:32
  And I think that's even with kids, adults, it's just that
• 29:36
  connection piece, meeting people where they're at, understanding.
• 29:39
  We've been one of my friends here and I talk a lot about
• 29:43
  perspective and that everybody has their own perspective on the
• 29:47
  world and, and respecting everyone else's perspective.
• 29:52
  And, and, and if we did that, it would be amazing.
• 29:58
  You know, it's not that we're all that different, it's just
• 30:02
  that we see things differently. You know, I think about, you
• 30:05
  know, like like when you're learning your first art lessons
• 30:09
  or you're drawing with perspective and you see the tree
• 30:11
  straight on or you see it from the side and everything looks
• 30:14
  different or even like when I'm golfing, I address the ball from
• 30:18
  the front and I'm this is where I want to stand.
• 30:21
  But then when I'm standing is beside the ball, it doesn't look
• 30:24
  like I'm hitting it the right direction.
• 30:26
  It's all about perspective in the world And, and, and we need
• 30:31
  and I need to listen to a kids perspective.
• 30:33
  Like as a principal, yes, I deal with discipline and whether it
• 30:39
  be teacher student, whether it be adult parent student, whether
• 30:45
  it be parent teacher. I bring all the parties to the
• 30:48
  table and the first thing that I and the first thing I say, and I
• 30:53
  know I have one teacher that he laughs every time I say it
• 30:56
  because it he hears it all the time.
• 30:59
  We all have a different perspective and reality is
• 31:01
  probably somewhere in the middle of all that.
• 31:04
  So I wanna hear your perspective, your perspective
• 31:07
  and your perspective, and then we'll talk about what the
• 31:09
  reality probably was. Yeah.
• 31:12
  And that's how I address that kind of stuff.
• 31:15
  Yeah. I don't know.
• 31:18
  I just, this is where I was meant to be and I'm not sure how
• 31:23
  I navigated being here. And I'm doing the
• 31:27
  superintendent's program because small schools are not I I'm
• 31:36
  hoping they won't go away, but the reality is they're not going
• 31:43
  to have two administrators. They're going to have one and I
• 31:47
  need to learn, you know, principal is all student
• 31:50
  centered, Superintendent learns the financial and the capital
• 31:54
  and the projects and all that piece of it.
• 31:58
  So I need to learn that and I'm a lifelong learner.
• 32:03
  So I need to learn something else.
• 32:05
  And who knows where that'll take me next?
• 32:07
  You know, I, I already have that watching that State Board of
• 32:10
  education stuff. Where can I make an impact
• 32:13
  there? You know, because these small
• 32:14
  schools need. They need a voice.
• 32:17
  Yeah, absolutely. And when you can go in and have
• 32:20
  not only your background history in them, but then you bring that
• 32:25
  other knowledge along with it, that can make you a very
• 32:28
  powerful, necessary voice in that room.
• 32:31
  Yeah, so much. And just more of you living and
• 32:35
  following and trusting your gifts and your why and how you
• 32:40
  show up in the world. And this, you know, this really
• 32:42
  allows you to live out of your own expectations versus others
• 32:47
  expectations. But even in that it can be hard
• 32:49
  sometimes because you and I were talking before and you know, you
• 32:53
  have principals have to make hard decisions about and And we
• 32:58
  are in a world right now where budgets for education are at an
• 33:03
  all time challenge at every level from the smallest school
• 33:08
  in Eastern Washington to the most prestigious university and
• 33:13
  everywhere in between. And so, you know, and my husband
• 33:18
  has talked about a lot over the years.
• 33:20
  He's like, if everybody likes you all the time, then you're
• 33:24
  probably not doing something right because there somebody has
• 33:29
  to make the hard decisions. And and so this is a new part of
• 33:35
  the role for you that you haven't had to do before.
• 33:39
  So talk to me about navigating expectations, still staying true
• 33:43
  to your own, but not, you know, but learning to navigate, not
• 33:48
  allowing those voices that might not like those things or what or
• 33:53
  you in the moment as that's happening, because that can
• 33:57
  really derail you because you're such an impact and you care so
• 34:02
  much about people. I, I will say that was probably
• 34:06
  my one, like the hardest part of my year was towards the end of
• 34:13
  the year and I felt like I let those voices take over.
• 34:17
  And, but I see that now and I, and, and I learned from that.
• 34:25
  And it's OK to make mistakes as long as we learn from the, from
• 34:29
  them and, and try not to do that again.
• 34:33
  You know, I had to make some decisions and, and I do make
• 34:36
  them myself. I made them with the other
• 34:41
  people that were in the decision making process.
• 34:44
  And there were people unhappy about the decisions that were
• 34:47
  made and I let them be a stronger voice than myself and
• 34:55
  and I let it get to me and and I wasn't me for a while.
• 35:02
  Yeah, yeah. And I think you hit something
• 35:05
  important when you haven't navigated something before.
• 35:09
  All you can do is the best you can do in the moment and you see
• 35:13
  what's coming. But sometimes we are so hard on
• 35:15
  ourselves. We're like, oh gosh, I can't
• 35:17
  believe I let that get to me. I, I know better.
• 35:20
  Well, do you know better? I mean, you haven't been down
• 35:23
  this road before, so how could you have known better?
• 35:25
  I mean, someone else can give you their insight on it, but you
• 35:28
  haven't walked out. You haven't experienced it.
• 35:30
  So replacing that language with exactly what you said had some
• 35:34
  time to reflect. I see now what I've learned, how
• 35:39
  it impacted me, and that's going to inform how I move forward
• 35:43
  when these things come up in the future.
• 35:45
  And having that language, continuing to be curious, but
• 35:49
  giving yourself grace when you have those moments.
• 35:53
  Yeah. And and not only how it impacted
• 35:55
  me, but how it impacted others because I wasn't me.
• 35:59
  Yeah. That's the piece that, you know,
• 36:03
  that's really important to me because of that empathetic
• 36:05
  piece, you know, with this position, I am guiding these
• 36:12
  other people. And so I'm not the positive
• 36:15
  influence that I should be. They don't see it if I'm not the
• 36:20
  light when they come into the building, darkness prevails.
• 36:25
  And so it's really important that I keep that light shining.
• 36:30
  And and yeah, we can have disagreements.
• 36:33
  Like I said, we can have different perspectives, but
• 36:38
  right now I get to be the boss and make the decisions I guess.
• 36:41
  Yeah, but you're always a good listener.
• 36:43
  And I think you said something to being the light requires you
• 36:46
  do what you need to do to fill your soul so you can be the
• 36:49
  light. And and and so it goes back to
• 36:52
  that piece of not abandoning ourselves and and not letting
• 36:56
  others expectations derail what we know is right, because you've
• 36:59
  learned the importance of trusting you and listening to
• 37:03
  you and following you. But that doesn't mean other
• 37:07
  things aren't going to come up. They're going to challenge that
• 37:10
  in a new way. I mean, so that's and which goes
• 37:13
  nicely into accepting the layered aspects of ourselves.
• 37:16
  You continue to unfold and learn about new layers.
• 37:21
  And it's this is another layer that you had to like, look at,
• 37:24
  acknowledge, like don't love the way that impacted me, but also I
• 37:31
  learned something there and I'm not, I'm going to be curious
• 37:34
  rather than judgmental with myself and how I process this
• 37:39
  layer and understand it and, and move.
• 37:42
  Forward. Within it, but you've had a
• 37:44
  whole layers journey piece for all of these things that have
• 37:48
  evolved over the last five years that you've really had to learn
• 37:52
  about and and come to acknowledgement with without
• 37:57
  that shame and judgement. Talk to me about how that
• 38:00
  continues to unfold for you. Oh, that's a big one.
• 38:08
  You know, you just in the end, you just have to be true to
• 38:12
  yourself and you know people, people try to get put you down
• 38:23
  and you can't let them. You know you can't because you
• 38:27
  have to be true to yourself. Can't tell you how many times
• 38:31
  this year I have heard. Well, she's new.
• 38:35
  Well, she doesn't get it. Well, she doesn't know.
• 38:39
  And you know, I my, my gift in the educational realm is I know
• 38:46
  a little bit about a lot of things.
• 38:49
  I don't know a lot about anything yet, yet yet, but I'm
• 38:55
  learning a lot about a lot of those little, those things.
• 39:00
  But I know a little I'm enough to be dangerous in a lot of
• 39:04
  things. So, and I'm curious, and that's
• 39:10
  a big thing, a joke with one of the guys in command at the ESD,
• 39:16
  the the like body that's bigger than us in the school, is that I
• 39:21
  win the prize this year for the most questions asked.
• 39:25
  And, and I'm not afraid to, you know, your job is this.
• 39:30
  So answer this question for me. You know, the office of the
• 39:35
  Superintendent of Public Instruction, I have the numbers
• 39:37
  of five people there. You know, this is this
• 39:39
  department. This is this department.
• 39:41
  Here's your department. This is my question.
• 39:44
  Answer it for me, you know, Yeah.
• 39:47
  And that's how I've navigated my whole year here, you know?
• 39:52
  And you know, and once a week I get, well, what about your
• 39:56
  marriage? OK, fine, we talk everyday.
• 40:01
  He asked me how I'm doing, you know?
• 40:04
  We, we went to see the grandkids last weekend.
• 40:08
  You know, he still does stupid stuff.
• 40:10
  And I joke with him about it, you know, and we go on trips
• 40:14
  together and we don't go on trips together.
• 40:17
  He's going with the kids somewhere this summer and I'm
• 40:20
  going to Europe this summer without him.
• 40:22
  So, you know, we do our things, it works.
• 40:31
  You know 35 years isn't going to go down the toilet because I
• 40:34
  moved 90 miles away. Yeah, yeah.
• 40:38
  Well, especially because you know each other.
• 40:40
  So going back to what I said earlier, you know each other so
• 40:42
  well. You know what drives each other,
• 40:44
  You know what support, He knows what supports you.
• 40:46
  But I think too want to come back to the importance of not
• 40:51
  being afraid to ask questions. Asking.
• 40:55
  There is no such thing. I will say this and, and there's
• 40:59
  probably a few exceptions in the world, but I'm still going to
• 41:01
  stand by this. There's no such thing as a
• 41:03
  stupid question if it you know, because you and at so many times
• 41:07
  we're afraid I I read this great article this morning.
• 41:10
  It was about something entirely different, but the point of it
• 41:13
  was you don't have to know everything.
• 41:15
  If when you don't know everything, you don't need to
• 41:18
  pretend you know everything. Go ask the questions, be a good
• 41:23
  listener, be curious and learn from people who do do know about
• 41:28
  that thing. And that's exactly the, but what
• 41:31
  a great thing to teach the people you're mentoring, the
• 41:36
  teachers, the the, the kids that are in the school.
• 41:40
  Like this is a valuable thing. And I think especially for girls
• 41:43
  and women to know. And you've raised three strong
• 41:46
  girls. I've raised three strong girls.
• 41:48
  And a lot of this was about don't be afraid to have a voice
• 41:52
  in the room. Know that you deserve to be
• 41:55
  seen, known and heard. And don't be afraid there to ask
• 41:58
  questions. And don't let someone else's
• 42:00
  resistance of your questions deter you from what you know is
• 42:06
  important for you to do to proceed.
• 42:08
  I think it's a really valuable lesson.
• 42:11
  I I would wholeheartedly agree with that, Melissa, Totally.
• 42:15
  I'm a question asker, you know, like, that's why I know a little
• 42:20
  bit about a lot because I, you know, I listen, do I digest
• 42:24
  everything I hear or read? No, but I have bits and pieces.
• 42:30
  And so I can say, oh, I know I've heard about that before.
• 42:34
  Let me look back in my notes or let me ask the person I know I
• 42:38
  talked to that about. But I think it's really
• 42:41
  important that that piece of, I don't know what the word is.
• 42:45
  I want, but I don't know everything.
• 42:49
  Yeah, that vulnerability piece, I don't know, but I know where I
• 42:55
  can go to find it, or I know somebody I can ask that knows
• 43:00
  where to go to find it. Like I have these two gals that
• 43:04
  are at the ESD and they've been so wonderful for me this year
• 43:08
  because I can say I need to talk to somebody about blank and
• 43:13
  they're like, oh, that's so and so at so and so, you know, and
• 43:19
  and that is, you know, and that was just a resource that I
• 43:25
  couldn't have lived without. And it's because of the
• 43:27
  relationship I've built with them that that I have.
• 43:31
  And, you know, I meet people. I got somebody the other day
• 43:35
  that we've had an e-mail relationship since I was in
• 43:38
  Davenport. Oh, wow.
• 43:40
  For years we emailed about various things and their name
• 43:45
  came up in a meeting. And I'm like, oh, you emailed
• 43:51
  for years. And it was the funniest thing
• 43:54
  because we've never met each other.
• 43:56
  Wow and. Yeah, well, sorry, go ahead.
• 44:01
  No, it's just that staying curious and knowing that you
• 44:04
  don't know. Nobody knows everything.
• 44:07
  Right. And don't portray yourself as
• 44:10
  knowing every. Even an expert doesn't know
• 44:14
  everything, they still are learning about things.
• 44:17
  Yeah, because when you pretend you don't know, you know
• 44:20
  everything and then you go to make decisions and it's you have
• 44:23
  been asked the questions, that doesn't lead down a good Rd.
• 44:26
  many times, you know, so being mindful of that as well.
• 44:29
  But I think, you know, I want to also go back to the fact that
• 44:32
  you went into this. These small towns, these farm
• 44:36
  communities are very tight knit communities.
• 44:38
  There are family names that have been there for decades.
• 44:42
  It's not easy to break into these spaces and places.
• 44:46
  So you but you understand that. So you being willing to go in be
• 44:51
  the new person. No, there's going to be the
• 44:53
  whispering on the street. Oh, she's, I mean, that's just
• 44:56
  part of navigating these spaces and them learning to trust you
• 45:01
  because also when you go in as an outsider in these new spaces
• 45:04
  there, there's a lot of questions.
• 45:06
  Why are they here? You know, all these kinds of
• 45:09
  things. So having being curious, asking
• 45:12
  questions, being open, listening to perspectives, being a good
• 45:16
  listener. Well, welcoming the point of
• 45:18
  view, not just shutting them out and coming in like you know
• 45:21
  everything, is a very vital component of becoming a trusted
• 45:26
  member of this school and this community.
• 45:30
  Yeah. And communities and schools in
• 45:33
  this small of them location are intertwined.
• 45:36
  Absolutely. That's what it is.
• 45:39
  And my biggest like, piece of the puzzle this year has been
• 45:44
  the community engagement. And it was a little bit broken
• 45:48
  when I came. And that was my first, like my
• 45:52
  biggest piece of my puzzle was to make sure that that was
• 45:57
  mended or on the way to be mended.
• 45:59
  And I worked really hard at that.
• 46:01
  And there are wonderful people with differing perspectives.
• 46:05
  And. To get them to work together and
• 46:08
  they have and, and there's just so many wonderful people in this
• 46:13
  community that want what's best for our kids in the end.
• 46:17
  And we just have to remember that we just reminding them that
• 46:21
  people have differing perspectives.
• 46:24
  We have our big, we have our big town celebration, not this
• 46:27
  weekend, but the following weekend.
• 46:28
  It's called Farmer's Fest. And they're going to honor the
• 46:31
  educators this year. So my Superintendent and I get
• 46:35
  to be on the float. That's a big deal in these
• 46:38
  towns. Yeah, I get to be on the float
• 46:40
  and then I'm in the dunk tank later than the day.
• 46:43
  So of course you are. Oh, my gosh, you're just fine
• 46:47
  with that. But the community, yeah, it's
• 46:50
  just, you know, there were a couple of new hires along with
• 46:54
  myself and. And they have a similar mindset
• 46:58
  to me and get the small community piece.
• 47:02
  And one of mine is a brand new teacher too, and she she has
• 47:09
  filled my bucket and I've filled hers and it's just, it's like
• 47:13
  I've had a daughter. And it's been.
• 47:16
  Wonderful. Yeah, yeah.
• 47:18
  Cuz I think also what I want to point out is when you're
• 47:21
  learning how to navigate these things, you can also apply this
• 47:25
  when you go into a long established corporation that's
• 47:29
  been, you know, that's a family owned, maybe been there for
• 47:32
  years. You go in as a new leader.
• 47:35
  And this is something that you can teach those kids and those
• 47:38
  teachers and mentor them on now, because maybe someday they'll be
• 47:42
  in that situation where they get that opportunity to remind them
• 47:46
  to go in, be curious, know what you know, be comfortable in the
• 47:50
  decisions you make. Own them, but continue to invite
• 47:54
  perspective. Be, you know, be inclusive,
• 47:57
  engage. Just let them know that you want
• 48:00
  to hear from them. At the end of the day, you're
• 48:02
  going to make your decision, but they're never going to question
• 48:05
  that. You didn't give everybody an
• 48:07
  opportunity and a chance to be heard, even if they disagree
• 48:11
  with you later, which actually, you know, it's like, you know
• 48:13
  what? They gave me an opportunity,
• 48:14
  they saw it differently, but I know I was heard And and you
• 48:18
  know that people can live with that a lot easier than what they
• 48:21
  feel like they're just being mowed over.
• 48:23
  So this it goes for communities, but anytime you go into a
• 48:26
  company or a situation or even a family situation, I mean
• 48:29
  whatever it is, this lesson can be applied across the.
• 48:32
  Board Oh, I agree. I think tradition is any of
• 48:37
  those situations. Tradition is the big part of
• 48:42
  that. And so coming in, feeling out
• 48:47
  and figuring out what is the tradition, what is the, what is
• 48:51
  the big, what are the big pieces that you cannot change, but what
• 48:56
  are the pieces that you are or that you want to magnify because
• 49:00
  they are rich tradition. And then how can you enhance
• 49:05
  them by adding to them and and giving their kids, you know it,
• 49:11
  it would be easy to stay out here and not see the rest of the
• 49:14
  world. So, so how do you give them that
• 49:17
  perspective as well, but still the tradition of being here
• 49:21
  alive as well? Yeah, I think that's such an
• 49:24
  important piece because I think sometimes because you love
• 49:27
  travel and it it feels your soul, but you also know the
• 49:31
  value of that small community and letting them know modeling
• 49:34
  both things can be true. You can go out and travel and
• 49:38
  see the world and learn so much from that and also come back and
• 49:42
  be. It will make you a better
• 49:43
  community member when you come back here because of the
• 49:46
  perspectives you learn. If you leave here, it doesn't
• 49:50
  mean you're abandoning your community.
• 49:52
  You can go out and travel and learn and live in different
• 49:54
  spaces and places and come back and be even a more informed
• 49:59
  member. Of this community.
• 50:02
  Exactly. And I and I talked to my
• 50:04
  upperclassmen because I know that culture was a big thing and
• 50:09
  I know that they were seniors and juniors and I'm not going to
• 50:12
  establish a new culture with them.
• 50:13
  I'm not going to do that. So my big thing with them was
• 50:17
  what's the legacy you want to leave?
• 50:20
  You know what what, what are people going to say about the
• 50:24
  class of 2025 or the class of 2026?
• 50:26
  What is your legacy that you want to leave?
• 50:28
  Because they're going to know, I mean, if you go down, if you go
• 50:33
  down to that establishment downtown and talk about the
• 50:36
  class of 1942, they can tell you who was in it and what they did.
• 50:40
  So what is your legacy going to be?
• 50:42
  And then I take that to my staff, OK, someone who goes to
• 50:46
  retirement, you've been here for 2530 years.
• 50:49
  What is the legacy you're going to leave?
• 50:53
  And that's a great way to energize because teachers at
• 50:56
  that point can be very tired and be very much watching the
• 50:59
  calendar for retirement day and be a little bit or a lot checked
• 51:05
  out. So it's a great Energizer too,
• 51:08
  of bringing them back home to that to help them to stay
• 51:11
  focused as they finish out. Oh, those are great examples.
• 51:15
  Another thing I want to add to this layers piece.
• 51:17
  I know we've lingered here a lot time a long time, but you've had
• 51:20
  so much to say about one last thing on the layers piece.
• 51:23
  Does it feel like all those years as a parapro in the
• 51:27
  school, operating that way, as a parent, as a coach, all these
• 51:31
  layers that are, you know, somewhat not the normal path of
• 51:36
  getting to principal and and you know, Superintendent possibly
• 51:41
  down the road, but also you got to kind of operate at every
• 51:45
  level. And so I think I, I would
• 51:48
  imagine it brings a unique perspective that can be very
• 51:51
  helpful too, to bringing all those layers together into this
• 51:54
  new layer you're in. It it gives me first it gives me
• 51:59
  a relatability to everybody. Sure.
• 52:02
  That a lot of people don't have, Sure.
• 52:05
  And I think that that helps me as an employer, you know, like I
• 52:11
  can sit down with my para educators and talk to them about
• 52:15
  things because I've been there, have a different respect for me
• 52:20
  because I have been there. And yeah, I mean, I think that
• 52:27
  adds to that. I know a lot about, you know, I
• 52:31
  know a little bit about a lot because, you know, we're talking
• 52:35
  about some things the other day that typical principal teacher
• 52:41
  wouldn't know, but I served as a district secretary for a while.
• 52:45
  So I was in that realm with the lawyers and a building project
• 52:50
  and, you know, and, and, and then I lived in that and I knew
• 52:55
  a little bit about, you know, and I don't think, I don't think
• 53:03
  there are many people that have held as many hats as I have.
• 53:07
  And I think it does give a really unique perspective to
• 53:10
  things. Yeah.
• 53:11
  And that's why I want to keep going.
• 53:13
  And what can I give because of that perspective?
• 53:17
  Sure. Because I think we have so many
• 53:19
  people making decisions that don't have enough perspectives
• 53:23
  and don't listen to all the perspectives.
• 53:26
  Yeah, yeah, yeah, You can be that voice in the room size.
• 53:30
  Hold on a minute. Have we talked to this one, this
• 53:32
  one, this one? Have we gotten that insight?
• 53:35
  We need that insight to make an informed decision about X?
• 53:38
  Yeah. Oh.
• 53:40
  Yeah, I can hardly. Wait to see what you and it
• 53:42
  takes everybody and it takes everybody.
• 53:44
  It doesn't matter what your title is, what your education
• 53:46
  is, what it doesn't matter. It takes all those pieces of the
• 53:51
  puzzle. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 53:54
  Yeah, and that's your recognition of that, because you
• 53:56
  not only embrace your own layers, you embrace other
• 53:59
  people's layers. Too.
• 54:02
  And because of your understanding and living in
• 54:04
  these different realms and different spaces and places, and
• 54:07
  I think that's a really unique thing to be able to do because
• 54:11
  again, it's Invitational. It makes people feel seen, known
• 54:14
  and heard. You're not, you don't have a
• 54:17
  higher or lower value for anyone in there.
• 54:20
  You know it's all valuable and they feel that from you.
• 54:24
  Well, and we and we don't. Everybody has value, it's
• 54:29
  different, but nobody has. There isn't a hierarchy.
• 54:32
  We're all human. We are.
• 54:34
  We all have value, we all have worth in the world.
• 54:38
  We just all do something different.
• 54:40
  Yeah. Yeah, you have a knack of making
• 54:43
  people feel that, though not everybody has that ability, but
• 54:46
  I think that's what part of your layers journey that makes you
• 54:50
  thrive in these situations. So thank you so much for all of
• 54:54
  that. So good.
• 54:55
  All right, in living out feel, finding empowerment, embracing
• 54:59
  layers, which is what you are doing and continuing to do.
• 55:03
  Talk to me about how that's impacted your relationship with
• 55:06
  yourself as well as your relationship with other people.
• 55:14
  Gosh, that's the one. I, I don't have any notes in
• 55:17
  that question at all. I don't know.
• 55:20
  I just, I just think that's where my continuous lifelong
• 55:24
  learning. I mean, I'm not going to quit.
• 55:27
  I know there are more layers. Where are they?
• 55:30
  You know, what's the next layer we're going to peel back, or
• 55:34
  what's the next layer I'm going to create?
• 55:37
  You know, there's both, Both directions.
• 55:40
  Sure. The Sky's the limit, Melissa.
• 55:47
  And I don't know where this road's going to take me, but
• 55:51
  it's pretty fun. And it might, and it might
• 55:54
  curve. It might dead end.
• 55:57
  It might, you know, who knows? But it sure is a fun ride right
• 56:02
  now. Yeah.
• 56:04
  And you know, Ken, Ken keep saying that, that retire word
• 56:08
  and I keep laughing at him. I said, I'm not, I'm not
• 56:11
  retiring. I mean, I don't even see that in
• 56:14
  the future ever. I, I don't even, I don't, I
• 56:17
  can't imagine my life without kids in it.
• 56:20
  And not just my grandkids, like everybody's kids.
• 56:24
  I, I see myself as that 90 year old lady in the rocking chair
• 56:28
  reading the kindergarteners. You know, I'm going to be that
• 56:31
  person. But, you know, and my
• 56:35
  relationships, I'm just one of those people like you and I I
• 56:38
  mean, we can go years without talking.
• 56:40
  And, and it's like we've talked to each other yesterday and we
• 56:44
  met up for 10 minutes and, and we'll talk to each other again
• 56:48
  in two years. I I have other friends all I
• 56:52
  have friends all over the United States just from them, whether
• 56:56
  they've moved or I've moved or, or whatever that realm might be
• 56:59
  kids, you know, kids living somewhere.
• 57:03
  I'll give them a call. You know, that's one thing
• 57:07
  that's been nice about mobile phones is that people keep that
• 57:12
  phone number. Yeah, You know, I'll get, I'll
• 57:15
  shoot a text. Is this still your number?
• 57:17
  Let's go have coffee. And you know, might be Atlanta,
• 57:20
  might be Houston, might be wherever I am in the world.
• 57:24
  I met up with somebody in London two years ago.
• 57:26
  You know, you just never know. Yeah.
• 57:30
  But that's I like to feed that. That feeds me, yeah.
• 57:34
  And and and I have to feed me. Yeah.
• 57:38
  Absolutely. So good.
• 57:40
  Oh my gosh. All right.
• 57:41
  Five activities that nourish you.
• 57:46
  Oh, and the reason I need the bigger paycheck giving gift.
• 57:56
  Yeah, I would be a really good philanthropist.
• 58:00
  Actually, I probably wouldn't because I'd give away too much.
• 58:04
  But yeah, I, I enjoy giving gifts, whether that be just, and
• 58:09
  it might be a simple card or it might be a legitimate gift, but
• 58:14
  that really feeds me kids nourish me any, any, any realm
• 58:22
  of kids, whether it be, you know, I have AI have an ex
• 58:26
  student that's incarcerated right now.
• 58:28
  And just a communication with him nourishes to know that he's
• 58:34
  OK. I've had some kids that with
• 58:38
  mental mentally unstable, troubled childhoods and knowing
• 58:44
  they're OK and then kids that are very successful, not that
• 58:50
  that isn't successful as well. We're all human.
• 58:53
  It's perspective, but just that communication every, you know,
• 58:57
  I'll see that somebody's having a birthday.
• 58:59
  You know, it's just a simple happy birthday to the 35 year
• 59:02
  old student is, you know, and I get something back from them.
• 59:06
  Just feed my soul. My friends, I mean people in
• 59:11
  general, you know, my lifelong friends that I'm still in
• 59:14
  contact with. I mean, my, my friend from
• 59:17
  kindergarten that we grew up together, every once in a while
• 59:20
  she'll shoot me a, a text or I and I'm guilty.
• 59:25
  I don't get back right away. I have her phone number at my
• 59:27
  desk. I put it off because I was so
• 59:29
  busy and I need to send her a text and I haven't.
• 59:34
  And, you know, we grew up from preschool actually together and
• 59:39
  I need to, I need to connect with her and, you know, and just
• 59:46
  anything with my family. Yeah.
• 59:48
  Now they don't always get along and we can't always all be
• 59:51
  together in the same room, but bits and pieces I can do and and
• 59:57
  it's great. Just went on a trip the end of
• 1:00:00
  May with my brother and sister and all that family and that's
• 1:00:06
  always just nourishes my soul. Yeah, good stuff.
• 1:00:10
  All right, 5 words. On how you want to feel the next
• 1:00:13
  six months happy. Always and and I do a pretty
• 1:00:24
  good job of that. I thought I wrote these down,
• 1:00:32
  but I didn't look at that. I want to have direction.
• 1:00:45
  I don't know what the word is, I want for that, but I want to
• 1:00:49
  have direction, confidence, adventure.
• 1:00:58
  I am leaving in two weeks for Europe and you know, I don't
• 1:01:07
  know what else goes with happy, but you know, just being full,
• 1:01:13
  that feel that I just want my bucket to be full, Melissa,
• 1:01:18
  because that feels good. Yeah.
• 1:01:21
  You know it does. It just feels good.
• 1:01:24
  Yeah. Yeah, it does.
• 1:01:26
  Well, and you're such a good bucket filler for other people.
• 1:01:28
  So you filling your bucket is such an important component of
• 1:01:32
  that. I love that you, that you've
• 1:01:33
  highlighted that Oh, so thankful for you.
• 1:01:37
  Let people know how they can find you, follow you, all those
• 1:01:40
  things in that. Yeah.
• 1:01:41
  And that'll be on our resources page on the website as well.
• 1:01:44
  But where can people find you and follow you?
• 1:01:46
  Oh I'm on all the socials. I'm going to start a new
• 1:01:50
  principal TikTok. Now that I'm a year in, I've
• 1:01:54
  decided that that's going to be my goal for next year.
• 1:01:57
  That's going to be fun. Actually, yesterday was like the
• 1:02:01
  day I sent the e-mail about this job.
• 1:02:04
  So I figure I'm a Marian that I can start my principal TikTok.
• 1:02:08
  I I am a TikTok junkie. I will admit to that.
• 1:02:13
  I scroll every morning. That's my cup of coffee.
• 1:02:17
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 1:02:18
  I'm a Facebook, Instagram. I still have reared in science,
• 1:02:23
  but I'm everywhere. Yeah.
• 1:02:25
  All right. So.
• 1:02:26
  Yeah. Awesome.
• 1:02:27
  Any last thoughts for our listeners today?
• 1:02:32
  Just go out and be the light you can be in the world and remember
• 1:02:36
  that everybody has a different perspective on what that is.
• 1:02:40
  Yeah, and be curious about that and be.
• 1:02:43
  Curious and know that you can keep learning.
• 1:02:46
  Nobody learned everything about anything.
• 1:02:49
  Yeah. Oh, that's so good.
• 1:02:51
  All right, listeners, there's your take away for this week.
• 1:02:54
  Thanks so much for joining me, my friend.
• 1:02:56
  I so appreciate you and listeners so much to take from
• 1:03:00
  this today. I know that there's going to be
• 1:03:02
  opportunities for you to go back and take notes, but just know
• 1:03:06
  this, these takeaways are so important and we can all do
• 1:03:10
  them. We can all do them.
• 1:03:11
  These are all things that we can do and how we can make an impact
• 1:03:15
  in our little space in the world.
• 1:03:17
  And that's Teresa has modeled that so beautifully.
• 1:03:19
  She has known across Eastern Washington as Mama V far and
• 1:03:24
  wide. So don't miss those ways and
• 1:03:26
  places that you can make an impact.
• 1:03:29
  Take good care and have a great week.
• 1:03:31
  We'll see you next time here on the Field podcast.
• 1:03:35
  Hello, and thank you so much for being with us today on this
• 1:03:39
  episode of the Feel podcast. If you would like more
• 1:03:42
  information on how you can apply these talking points that I
• 1:03:47
  share with our guests in each episode to your own life, really
• 1:03:51
  utilize this Feel framework, go to embracinglayers.com, fill out
• 1:03:57
  our contact form, and let's set up a free 30 minute consultation
• 1:04:02
  to talk about how you can start leaving your most authentic,
• 1:04:07
  organic, healthy, feel fueled life.
• 1:04:11
  Thanks again for being with us today.
• 1:04:13
  We'll be back to you soon with another episode here on the Feel
• 1:04:16
  Podcast.