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Breaking Trauma Bonds: Rebuilding Self-Trust After Narcissistic Abuse · Bent Not Broken: Starting Over After Divorce | Post Divorce Life

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to another episode of Bent Not Broken.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: Heartbreak and trauma may feel like the end of your story, but here it's the beginning of a bold new chapter.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Coach Deborah Griffiths, and this is the space where women rise, rebuild, and rediscover their purpose.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: Remember this truth.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: You are bent not broken.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to Bent Not Broken.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Coach Deborah, and today's bonus coaching episode is inspired by my powerful conversation with Tiffany Newton.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: If you haven't listened to that episode yet, pause this and go back.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's eye-opening, raw, and incredibly important.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: Today I want to talk about three things.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: Trauma bonding, self-trust after abuse, and you're lying in the sand.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: Tiffany described trauma bonding as addiction.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: And she's right.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's that craving for the version of them you met in the beginning.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: The love bombing, the future faking, the hope.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: Your brain gets hooked on the highs and the lows.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: The nervous system becomes conditioned to chaos.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: And here's what I want you to hear clearly.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's not weakness, it is neurobiology.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: And when someone alternates affection and punishment, your body becomes chemically attached to that cycle.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: If you're still feeling pulled towards someone who hurts you, that doesn't mean you're broken.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: It means you're detoxing.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: One of the hardest parts after emotional abuse is asking, How did I miss the signs?
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: You start doubting your judgment, your intuition, your decisions.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: And Tiffany said something powerful.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing she could have done would have changed the outcome.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: And that's true for so many of you listening.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: The goalpost keeps moving with narcissistic abuse.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: You can never be good enough because the control is the point.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: So how do you rebuild trust after yourself?
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: You make small promises and you keep them.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: Drink the water.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: Take the walk.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: Send the email.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: Go to therapy.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: Every small promise you keep rebuilds integrity with yourself.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: Self-trust isn't rebuilt in giant leaps.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's rebuilt in consistent, tiny commitments.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: This might be the most important part.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: Tiffany said something I deeply agree with.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: You must define the one thing that means you are done.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: Not if it gets worse.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: Not if this happens again.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: One specific line.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: Because without a defined boundary, the cycle continues.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: Ask yourself, what is the behavior I will not tolerate again?
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: Write it down.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: That clarity can save you months or even years.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I want you to journal in this.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: Where have I ignored my body signals?
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: What patterns have I excused?
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: What promise can I make to myself this week?
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: What is my line in the sand?
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: If this episode stirred something in you, please know you are not alone.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: You're not crazy.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: You're not weak.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: And you're not broken.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: You are bent.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: And you are rebuilding.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: If you need support, resources are always linked in the show notes.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're ready to take your next bold step, you can book a clarity call with me.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time, trust your body, honor your intuition, and remember, words lie, patterns don't.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening to today's episode of Bent Not Broken.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: I hope that this episode reminded you that even through life's toughest moments, you are bent, not broken.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: If this message inspired you, please share, rate, review, and subscribe, as it helps us reach more women who are ready to rise and rebuild.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: And until next time, keep living bold and walking in your purpose.