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Want More Self-Belief? Start With Your Body, Not Your Brain · #BeMoreLobster

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Every decision that you make from an energy of not fully approving and accepting of yourself is a decision that you make to impress, to appease, to avoid conflict, to fit in, be validated.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_01: You make decisions because of what you think other people want, what's acceptable, or maybe even just to keep the peace.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_01: You make decisions based in needing safety.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_01: And ultimately, you don't make the decisions that are best for you, how you want to feel, the life you want to have, and the dreams that you want to fulfill.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_01: Now you might think that the solution is to work on self-approval.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_01: It totally makes sense, doesn't it?
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_01: But in this episode, I'm going to tell you why that doesn't work, what the solution really is, and how to start implementing that today.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_01: So you know what to do.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_01: Grab your brew and let's dive right in.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome back to the Be Mod Lobster Podcast, and I'm really excited by this conversation because as somebody who has spent most of her or a majority of her 50 years on this planet not accepting herself and not loving herself, this is a subject that is incredibly close to my heart.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_01: So let me start with saying that it does absolutely make total sense that if you know that you don't fully approve and accept yourself, that the answer is to work on approving and accepting yourself.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_01: And yes, that's what logic says.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: And now I'm going to tell you why that doesn't work.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_01: Because the root of your lack of self-acceptance is actually stored in your body.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_01: The experiences that you had that created this story unconsciously and without permission don't live in your brain.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_01: The emotional impact of those experiences that weren't fully or effectively processed have stayed stored in your body and they've become so well rehearsed and reinforced that it's a narrative that plays out through the intricate relationship with your body and your brain.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_01: And that's why you can spend years working on mindset, talking about stuff, practicing new thoughts, and experiencing little, if any, lasting change.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_01: And while you still get triggered by the same shit, even though you tell yourself, oh my god, I've dealt with that.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: Now last night I was taking a bath and I just decided to put some YouTube on, and I decided to go and Google Greg Braden.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_01: He's somebody whose stuff that I've loved for a long time, but I haven't watched him for a while.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_01: And I started watching an interview that he did with Lewis Howes.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_01: And I want to share with you something that he described in it, and I'm like, I'm totally paraphrasing, but I feel like it's just an important way of this description.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_01: So he shared how he bought was brought up in an alcoholic family.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_01: So it's very volatile.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_01: Um, he didn't, and it was his father that was an alcoholic.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_01: He didn't know uh which father would come home and and what the environment was going to be like.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_01: And he's one of the things he said was, I don't know when I made the decision, but I did make the decision that I wouldn't believe what my dad told me about me, about what my dad told me I was and who I was.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: I just made the decision not to believe that.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and he then talked about how he's got a younger brother, four years younger, who went the opposite way and did end up spending a life believing what his father had said.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, we we we moved down time and he shared how through COVID, during COVID, he lost his mother.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_01: Now, Greg Braden, at the time of this interview, this was the beginning of 2025, was I think he said 70.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_01: So he lost his mum in his late 60s.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_01: And he said, shortly after he lost his mum, he ended up in hospital with two heart episodes.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_01: And the ER doctor came in both times and said, Mr.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_01: Braden, I don't know why you're here, there's absolutely nothing wrong with your heart, you're super fit, and walked out of the room.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_01: And in one of these, I think it might have been the second time it happened, a nurse then came in and said, Mr.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_01: Braden, tell me what's going on in your life right now.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_01: And he said, through actual like full-body sobs, he said to her, I've recently lost my mother.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_01: And she went on to say to him that unprocessed grief can kind of basically live in the tiny muscles around our heart, and that we can have episodes that feel like we're having a heart attack or something to do with our heart, and it's actually just unprocessed grief.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_01: And Lewis Howe said, Well, what did you do about it?
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_01: He said, I went to a grief therapist counsellor who explained to me how what had actually really happened was it was something how can I put this?
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_01: It was the the impact of the fact that it was when he was younger, his mother was his safe place.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_01: His mother that was the one that protected him from his father.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_01: So even though he was in his late 60s, and he obviously knew at some point he was gonna lose his mother because she was elderly, and he knew that he was fully resourceful enough to look after himself.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_01: The impact of her loss was his younger self suddenly feeling like the one person that had always protected him in him had been had gone, and now he was left alone and he was vulnerable.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_01: It was not his 70-year-old self having the experience, it was his younger version of himself, and it was the it was this unprocessed experience that was living in his heart that made him feel like he was having these heart episodes.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_01: He then went on to talk about a book that I read many, many years ago, which is quite a hard read, but is absolutely fantastic.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_01: It's by a woman called Candes or Candes, Candice Purt, and it's called The Molecules of Emotion.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_01: And she spent so much of her life talking about the relationship between how we store emotions in our body.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_01: And this has now got the kind of like this buzzword around somatics, but somatics has always been the way it always is.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_01: Somatics is the mind-body, and we are mind-body.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_01: We always have been, we always will be.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_01: And so, what Green Braden was going on to talk about was that when we have these unprocessed emotions and we all have trauma, we tend to think about trauma as in like a big T trauma, something really, really, really, really horrific.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_01: But we've all experienced trauma, we've all maybe seen parents fight, or we've had a difficult teacher at school, or we've got we didn't get picked for the netball team or the football team, or we have brothers and sisters that picked on us, or whatever.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_01: And when we're younger, it kind of feels we don't know it at the time, but it is it's emotional experiences that are not comfortable and it's a form of trauma.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_01: And we don't have the capability or the knowledge, or maybe sometimes the support to process those things, so they get stored in our body, and it's only as we get older and we experience the limitations of those things that we can go, oh, I now see this, and that I'm now being witnessed to this experience.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_01: And I'll make sure that I link the uh the YouTube clip uh on the show notes, but I should also warn you that there's a lot of stuff about um AI and the way the world's going that's quite distressing.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_01: So you may want to be careful before you listen to it.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_01: So I just wanted to share that with you because I found it absolutely fascinating, and it was just another way of thinking about oh, and I'll just share this other thing with you as well.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_01: He talked about how we store it as neuropeptides, and so normally with you know, as we process emotions, these neuropeptides will just come out of our body and we don't and we store them.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_01: And as we start to release these neuropeptides as we release this trauma, um he said it will actually change the taste of your sweat, of that's how you would know, of your tears.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_01: They might even smell different.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_01: It comes out in bodied fluids, whether it's urine or fecal matter or um, you know, um saliva.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_01: And I just found that really, really, really incredible.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_01: This is the power of the body.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_01: He also said about that sort of like 90% of dis-ease comes from um emotional uh, you know, emotional storage processes and all that.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_01: So please go listen to that.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, all that to say, I hope that's giving you a little bit more evidence that the solution is not to work on self-acceptance, it's actually to remove the stored experience from your body, release it from your entire timeline so your time so you can rearrange itself and to create the environment in your body where your natural state becomes your default state, and your natural state is sufficiency, it is belief, it is courage.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_01: It's not about getting new information and finding evidence of your enoughness, it's about changing the somatic shape, the somatic experience.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_01: So you remove what's stopping you accessing and living that universal truth that you have always been and will always be enough and sufficient and capable.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_01: The process that I take my clients through to achieve this is called body first, brain follows.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_01: I have them to become, I have them becoming aware, first and foremost, aware of and intimate with their somatic experience, noticing their triggers, noticing their reactions and the subsequent behaviors, so they can begin to identify their patterns.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_01: And in this experience, in this pattern, they then start to tap into the feeling of the experience in their body.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_01: I teach them how to use somatic practice and a somatic awareness to begin their gentle release, and then how to set themselves up daily to recalibrate to a new, clean version of themselves.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_01: And then I teach them how to hold this shape in space with their thoughts.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_01: I teach them psychology mastery.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_01: The result then is you feel sufficient always, you have self-belief, you trust yourself implicitly, courage is your second nature, you can stop looking to external sources for validation, you take things way less personally, you have a much bigger view of life, you can see more things as just a neutral circumstance that you can choose to give uh a charge to.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_01: You don't see everything as a truth, everything as a fact.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_01: So, today here's my implementation invitation to you.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_01: Find your process.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_01: Start by asking the reverse question.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_01: What decisions do I make when I don't approve of myself?
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_01: When I'm not in self-belief and sufficiency?
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_01: Where do you feel those decisions in your body?
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_01: Where do you tighten, contract?
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_01: How do you lean?
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_01: How does your breathing change?
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_01: What emotions come up for you?
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_01: And then take your attention to those places.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_01: Drop out of your brain and into your body, soften your body, move, breathe into the space and invite it to release.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_01: Let go.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_01: I want to remind you that everything is somatic.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_01: You are mind-body.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_01: You may have been told to really focus on your brain up until now.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_01: And I want to suggest to you that absolutely your next level of living your best life, having your most amazing business is definitely being able to connect with your body in an entirely new way to create a new somatic experience, one that is from a place of sufficiency and one that allows you to constantly make empowered decisions for yourself.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_01: Please, if you feel called to, do check out the Greg Braden interview.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_01: It's a pretty long one and it can be a bit of a hard listen.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_01: If not, maybe go check out Cande's Pur.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_01: I'll put that link for her in the show notes as well.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_01: I hope you enjoyed this episode, and I'll speak to you again in the next one of the Be My Lobster podcast.