Latest / Heal Yourself Podcast / Episode 88: How To Spot The Stories Running Your Life

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Episode 88: How To Spot The Stories Running Your Life · Heal Yourself Podcast

0:00
SPEAKER_03: Hey, before we dive into today's episode, we want to tell you about something we created just for you.
0:08
SPEAKER_00: It's called the beginning.
0:09
SPEAKER_00: It's a mini audio course, and that's exactly what it sounds like.
0:13
SPEAKER_00: Not a finish line, not a transformation overnight, just a starting point.
0:18
SPEAKER_03: Because here's the thing: you don't have a motivation problem.
0:22
SPEAKER_03: You have a nervous system problem.
0:24
SPEAKER_03: And that's what this course actually addresses.
0:27
SPEAKER_00: It walks you through awareness, emotions, nervous system regulation, boundaries, trust, the real foundations.
0:35
SPEAKER_00: The stuff that has to come first before anything else can stick.
0:39
SPEAKER_03: It's the 1% shift.
0:41
SPEAKER_03: You go from a zero to a one.
0:44
SPEAKER_03: And from a one, everything else becomes possible.
0:49
SPEAKER_00: You don't need to be ready.
0:50
SPEAKER_00: You don't need to have it together.
0:51
SPEAKER_00: You just need to be willing to take one small step back to yourself.
0:57
SPEAKER_03: The link is in the show notes.
0:59
SPEAKER_03: Go check out the beginning.
1:01
SPEAKER_00: We're waiting for you.
1:03
SPEAKER_00: Hey everyone.
1:04
SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to another episode of Heal Yourself podcast.
1:07
SPEAKER_00: And today you got Kira and Denise.
1:09
SPEAKER_00: And I just have to say, before we get started, I'm in the new house.
1:13
SPEAKER_00: I have my mic, and I'm so excited to not be recording in the most random locations right now.
1:19
SPEAKER_00: Yay! Yeah, yeah.
1:23
SPEAKER_00: Um, so today we want to talk about stories and how we attach to those stories.
1:32
SPEAKER_00: And you guys are gonna hear some repetitive things, but I think that's how we learn and that's how we grow.
1:38
SPEAKER_00: Um, it's never gonna be the same exact episode.
1:41
SPEAKER_03: So right, because we always say a new thing.
1:45
SPEAKER_03: So even if we are repeating, we're saying we are repeating it in a different way.
1:49
SPEAKER_03: And believe it or not, even from week to week, we are also growing and bringing in new experiences, new lessons.
1:56
SPEAKER_03: Hence, what we are repeating is different.
2:00
SPEAKER_03: Remember, 1% different.
2:04
SPEAKER_03: It's true.
2:05
SPEAKER_00: Well, and so I just want you guys to pause and think about all the stories that run through your head, right?
2:14
SPEAKER_00: Like, we think a lot of times that things that we're thinking are facts.
2:18
SPEAKER_00: But like when Denise and I got on, but before we hit record, I was like, I'm looking at the wall right now and I'm saying it's white, but you could come in and be like, well, actually, the way the shadow is hitting it, it looks kind of blue.
2:29
SPEAKER_00: That's a story, and it's a funny sounding one.
2:32
SPEAKER_00: But we get into stories around money, stories around health, around relationships, around everything.
2:39
SPEAKER_00: And I don't think we take the time to recognize, like, oh, this is a story.
2:44
SPEAKER_00: Why am I attached to this story?
2:46
SPEAKER_00: Why am I holding on to this story so tight?
2:48
SPEAKER_00: How is it serving me?
2:50
SPEAKER_00: Because it does, it's keeping you safe in some way, shape, or form.
2:54
SPEAKER_00: But I think it's so important that people start to recognize that everything's a story.
2:58
SPEAKER_00: Everything.
3:00
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it is.
3:02
SPEAKER_03: And before we hit record as well, we tied into the attachment of the stories because we're also attached to the fantasy that comes with that story, to the safety, because at the end of the day, it is all about what's keeping us safe and familiar, because it's more familiar and easier to think of the same story over and over again than to create or challenge it, to create a new one or challenge it.
3:33
SPEAKER_03: So this is where there's no healing happening if we continue attaching to the same stories, to the same script, to the same scenario.
3:50
SPEAKER_00: And you've you've gotta change it, and that's the part like you mentioned fantasy, and I'm like fantasy, but also if I have a story that, you know, let's just say okay, Denise is my friend, but Denise gets on my nerves, and so all I do is rant about Denise, you know, to my husband, whatever.
4:10
SPEAKER_00: I'm just trying to give an example here.
4:13
SPEAKER_00: But I'm attached, like I'm saying the story of Denise is the problem.
4:18
SPEAKER_00: Rather than looking at, oh, there's two people in any type of relationship.
4:22
SPEAKER_00: I don't care if it's the guy at the coffee shop, that's a relationship.
4:25
SPEAKER_00: You're having you know, relations in that moment, there are always two people.
4:31
SPEAKER_00: So it's much easier for me to point blame at Denise and be like, she did this and she said that and she acts like this, rather than looking within and saying, but what part am I playing?
4:41
SPEAKER_00: So that story right there is what's keeping me safe because I don't have to look inside.
4:46
SPEAKER_03: Right, because you're attached to the story of blaming Denise for doing and acting the way that she is, and you're also attaching to the story of look at me, I am trying to do my work, you know, where um I don't know where I was going with this.
5:07
SPEAKER_03: Something came to me and it just went away.
5:09
SPEAKER_03: It's been happening a lot recently.
5:10
SPEAKER_01: Oh my goodness.
5:12
SPEAKER_03: But you are you're also attached to the familiarity of complaining about Denise.
5:18
SPEAKER_03: Does that make sense?
5:19
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, well, so you are attached to talking to your husband and complaining to him about the situation.
5:26
SPEAKER_03: Oh, she did this, she did this.
5:27
SPEAKER_03: Oh, I can't believe whatever she did.
5:30
SPEAKER_03: So that becomes your story that you're telling yourself because you are attached to that, to that.
5:36
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
5:37
SPEAKER_00: So I'll use my mother-in-law as an example because I don't think she'll ever listen to this.
5:42
SPEAKER_00: Um, but she's been sick for a long period of time.
5:45
SPEAKER_00: And this could, I mean, I feel like this relates to a lot of people listening because there are a lot on their physical healing journeys.
5:52
SPEAKER_00: But at some point, she's become so attached to the stories around sickness of I'm never gonna feel good, I'm always gonna deal with this, nothing ever works, woe is me, yada yada yada.
6:04
SPEAKER_00: That creates her identity, and if you let go of that identity, you feel like you're gonna lose yourself, right?
6:10
SPEAKER_00: Like, what are you gonna do?
6:12
SPEAKER_00: Because that's danger.
6:13
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's not familiar, it's not safe.
6:17
SPEAKER_03: Yep.
6:18
SPEAKER_03: And it's like alert, alert.
6:20
SPEAKER_00: This is so common though, and that's what I want people to reflect on of like, okay, no, that's not me.
6:25
SPEAKER_00: No, but where else?
6:26
SPEAKER_00: Do you do that in other relationships?
6:28
SPEAKER_00: Do you do it with your health?
6:30
SPEAKER_00: Do you do it, you know, like there's so many different avenues where you can look at these stories and be like, am I attaching because that's my identity?
6:38
SPEAKER_00: I've been holding on to the story for so long, I don't know who I'm gonna be without it, or is it something else?
6:45
SPEAKER_03: Right, or the stories that we attach to about our are bringing about our, you know, people uh people also attach to the stories about their trauma.
6:53
SPEAKER_03: Well, I had a horrible childhood, that's why I act this way, I react this way, etc.
6:58
SPEAKER_03: Yep.
6:58
SPEAKER_03: Well, why are you I still identifying with this story right now?
7:03
SPEAKER_03: The story ended already, yeah.
7:06
SPEAKER_03: So the trauma that you had, for example, let's say somebody who grew up in a very abusive home as a child, right?
7:12
SPEAKER_03: So, and now they are in their 50s or 40s, or you know, and the story ended.
7:18
SPEAKER_03: Why are we still attached?
7:20
SPEAKER_03: Why are we still bringing it from 10 years old to 50 years old?
7:26
SPEAKER_03: Because of we are also attached to the familiarity and also to the, I mean, I I hate to keep saying this, but to the victimhood of also attached to giving our power away.
7:42
SPEAKER_00: No, and you're I I want to touch on that because this is a touchy subject.
7:47
SPEAKER_00: And the first time I heard it, oh man, that was a that was a trigger.
7:51
SPEAKER_00: Um, but I get it now.
7:53
SPEAKER_00: We have these stories because they are serving us, but sometimes the serving is victimhood, right?
8:02
SPEAKER_00: Meaning, like, okay, I'm gonna give an example.
8:06
SPEAKER_00: Somebody that's physically ill.
8:08
SPEAKER_00: Well, if I'm not sick anymore, I'm not gonna get the sympathy, I'm not gonna get the accommodations, I'm not gonna get, you know, I don't have to get attention, or I don't have to full up sh show up fully.
8:20
SPEAKER_00: I can't even say it.
8:21
SPEAKER_03: Um you know I love that.
8:23
SPEAKER_03: I love that because you you yeah, like the if it's if it's your excuse not, for example, to show up to events or to show up to working out, oh I'm sick, I don't feel good.
8:32
SPEAKER_00: Can't go.
8:34
SPEAKER_00: Or the other thing is like the story is serving you, but it's usually unconscious, right?
8:41
SPEAKER_00: It's not like a conscious thing where you're saying, Oh, I'm choosing to stay sick because I don't want to go to an event or because I need the sympathy.
8:49
SPEAKER_00: We don't recognize it.
8:51
SPEAKER_00: But this is where the healing happens that Denise and I talk about.
8:55
SPEAKER_00: If you sit there and you create the awareness, what are the stories?
8:59
SPEAKER_00: Like, what's something in my life that I am not happy with right now?
9:03
SPEAKER_00: What are the stories going on?
9:05
SPEAKER_00: What's my gain?
9:06
SPEAKER_00: What is my secondary gain?
9:08
SPEAKER_00: And I will own it.
9:09
SPEAKER_00: Business, like for me, it was like, oh, I can't do that.
9:13
SPEAKER_00: I'm not good enough.
9:14
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna fail.
9:15
SPEAKER_00: But you know what?
9:16
SPEAKER_00: That protected me because if I already think I'm gonna fail, well, then I can't get hurt because I didn't even start in the first place.
9:24
SPEAKER_00: Oh, I love how you put that.
9:26
SPEAKER_00: Yes, and that's the thing.
9:28
SPEAKER_00: We all do this, we just we haven't created the awareness and dug into those stories.
9:34
SPEAKER_03: Right.
9:34
SPEAKER_03: And I love how you said it is unconscious.
9:36
SPEAKER_03: We're really not doing this to really truly hurt ourselves.
9:40
SPEAKER_03: It is we are hurting ourselves unconsciously.
9:43
SPEAKER_03: We are the ones creating the suffering.
9:46
SPEAKER_03: Yep, however, it's unconscious.
9:48
SPEAKER_03: I get it.
9:49
SPEAKER_03: So please don't listen to us and be like, oh my goodness, and my I get it.
9:53
SPEAKER_03: We are doing this to ourselves and we are not serving our higher self.
9:58
SPEAKER_03: However, it is important to start waking up the awareness, start looking at those stories because it is really easy not to.
10:11
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
10:13
SPEAKER_03: And then what helps, I think, though, remind me, you know, tell me if you agree what thing what helps, because sometimes we don't know that we are telling the story on repeat over and over again because we are so attached to it.
10:27
SPEAKER_03: It's part of who we are, part of our identity.
10:30
SPEAKER_03: But I feel that because it shows up in the patterns and in the habits, you may want to look at those patterns.
10:38
SPEAKER_03: What keeps repeating every few months or every few years or every 10 years?
10:43
SPEAKER_03: And you're like, wait a minute, this just happened to me five years ago.
10:46
SPEAKER_03: It's happening again and again.
10:49
SPEAKER_03: So I think, don't you think this is a good way to shine the light?
10:53
SPEAKER_00: 100%.
10:54
SPEAKER_00: And you could like if this is an area where you're like, oh, I really want to spend some time on stories, go through aspects of your life, start with money, right?
11:04
SPEAKER_00: So many people have stories around money right now.
11:07
SPEAKER_00: Like, what are your stories around money?
11:09
SPEAKER_00: Because I know for a long time it was money's hard to get, money's not an abundant resource, like, but it came from childhood, right?
11:18
SPEAKER_00: And I still hear it.
11:19
SPEAKER_00: I still heard my dad say something when they were visiting.
11:23
SPEAKER_00: Um, and it's unconscious for him.
11:25
SPEAKER_00: I know it is because he like if I suddenly went out and made$10 million, he'd be like, that's awesome.
11:31
SPEAKER_00: But he will say stuff like, Oh, it's the rich that are the problem in this country.
11:36
SPEAKER_00: That those became my stories.
11:38
SPEAKER_00: So start with finances and money, go to business, go to health, like go to the world.
11:44
SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
11:45
SPEAKER_00: Like, you can what's the state of the world?
11:47
SPEAKER_00: There are so many broad areas where you could start to look at how do I feel?
11:51
SPEAKER_00: Like, what do I think about these things and what stories are not serving me?
11:56
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and also look at your emotions because it does go back to the emotions.
12:00
SPEAKER_03: What is, you know, what upsets you, what makes you angry or sad, and look at those.
12:09
SPEAKER_03: It could be, I mean, maybe your finances are great, for example, for someone listening.
12:13
SPEAKER_03: Uh, however, they need to uh look at friendships, for example.
12:17
SPEAKER_03: They keep you know falling to the same patterns of friends who betray them, for example, or who do them dirty.
12:25
SPEAKER_03: Just I think if you look at the emotions, what upsets you, what puts you in a negative mood or in a blah, look at those patterns that are tied into that.
12:41
SPEAKER_03: And and it is, I mean, we have to admit though, Kira, it is really, really hard.
12:50
SPEAKER_03: Is that a story?
12:53
SPEAKER_03: Ah, it could be.
12:55
SPEAKER_03: I'm just to look within, to look within and admit, and admit for sure, yeah, to shine the light and say, where is my role in this?
13:07
SPEAKER_03: Whether it is finances, whether it's health, relationships, friendships, where is my role in this?
13:14
SPEAKER_03: And I have been doing a lot of reflecting recently, and sometimes I do want to say that it gets tiring, it gets exhausting, and you don't know what it is, and you know that I am going to say what I have been doing and it has been helping.
13:35
SPEAKER_03: I um, you know, I grew up Catholic, however, I identify I love a lot of like the teachings that I've learned in Catholicism, but I don't like the dogma.
13:51
SPEAKER_03: So I don't go to Mass per se, but I go to the chapel of you know the blessed sacrament because it's uh it's very quiet.
13:59
SPEAKER_03: So this is like the classroom of silence where I just feel that I can just be with my own thoughts, and sometimes I don't even know.
14:05
SPEAKER_03: I I get tired of the stories.
14:08
SPEAKER_03: So what I have been doing and is I have been saying, I don't know what to do with this.
14:13
SPEAKER_03: I'm tired of carrying this backpack, this burden.
14:17
SPEAKER_03: You know, I do release it, I do surrender it.
14:20
SPEAKER_03: You show me the way.
14:22
SPEAKER_03: Because I do, I am a believer, you know, I do believe in in God, I do believe in the higher power.
14:27
SPEAKER_03: What you if you don't, then you know, universe, call it however you want.
14:31
SPEAKER_03: We call it God.
14:32
SPEAKER_03: And sometimes I say, I'm tired of this, I'm tired of thinking of this story.
14:37
SPEAKER_03: And most of the time, I notice a light, I notice something positive happening.
14:46
SPEAKER_03: I am going to give um an example about insurances that I deal with.
14:54
SPEAKER_03: And something has happened where I switched programs, and one insurance got really delayed.
15:01
SPEAKER_03: So we didn't get paid for any of the March and April claims.
15:06
SPEAKER_03: And, you know, I would call, my assistant would call, we would get online and we would email, and it just one answer.
15:13
SPEAKER_03: And even the other day, she told me this one is blaming this one, this one is blaming that one.
15:18
SPEAKER_03: So I just went in and I just surrendered.
15:21
SPEAKER_03: I was like, I really don't know what to do with this.
15:23
SPEAKER_03: I've put my all it's not I'm not the only one working on it.
15:26
SPEAKER_03: I have several people working on it.
15:27
SPEAKER_03: I have no idea what to do anymore.
15:29
SPEAKER_03: I don't even know where the checks are.
15:30
SPEAKER_03: Why aren't they not getting deposited automatically?
15:33
SPEAKER_03: And I just gave it, I surrendered it at the altar.
15:36
SPEAKER_03: I said, You deal with it.
15:38
SPEAKER_03: I just cannot carry it anymore.
15:41
SPEAKER_03: And I go on, and there's a big chunk that just came in.
15:46
SPEAKER_03: Even though some people said, Oh, you still have to cancel the claim, like we're getting so many answers, right?
15:51
SPEAKER_03: Some people say cancel the claim.
15:52
SPEAKER_03: Some people say we can't cancel the claims that already got accepted.
15:55
SPEAKER_03: And even my sister's like, I don't even know what to do anymore.
15:57
SPEAKER_03: I'm like, girlfriend, we're in the same boat.
15:59
SPEAKER_03: But because I totally surrendered that story, that oh, insurance is hard, I don't, you know.
16:05
SPEAKER_03: And so I feel sometimes the true surrender, it just refer to the uh the upper power that you believe in and just let it go, you will get some insight about why you keep repeating the story.
16:20
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
16:21
SPEAKER_00: And then I think the subconscious reprogramming comes in here too for people that know, like, I'm gonna go back to finances just because money was such a big story.
16:31
SPEAKER_00: Like, there were so many stories.
16:33
SPEAKER_00: Money doesn't grow on trees.
16:35
SPEAKER_00: Like, seriously, I could just sit here all day and talk about the stories around money that I heard growing up.
16:41
SPEAKER_00: Um, but some of that is in my opinion, it's more than surrendering at that point.
16:47
SPEAKER_00: Like, I know what it is, but I have to start to reprogram and catch myself when I'm getting into the story and be like, oh, that's a story, that's not truth.
16:57
SPEAKER_00: Because, like, let me just ask you this how do you feel about money?
17:02
SPEAKER_00: Like in general, how do you feel about money?
17:06
SPEAKER_03: Ah money comes, money goes.
17:09
SPEAKER_03: That's what I heard growing up.
17:11
SPEAKER_03: Like, you can make a lot of it and it can, and all of it can go, and then it's gonna come back again.
17:16
SPEAKER_03: So, how do I feel about money?
17:18
SPEAKER_03: I used to attach so much of uh because you know, growing up, you have money, you have prestige.
17:25
SPEAKER_03: Prestige is very important in my culture.
17:28
SPEAKER_03: However, recently I reprogrammed a lot about money, and I uh try not to give it as much meaning because I know because I know we did the episode about money and about the meaning that we give to money, and I just try not to give it my power, and I've worked a lot on that.
17:50
SPEAKER_03: So I just feel that money is there to help me serve others, it is there to I don't, I don't, I'm not attached to it, and I know that.
18:04
SPEAKER_03: Um do you think it's easy to make?
18:08
SPEAKER_03: Oh yeah, I think it's easy to make because I've made it.
18:10
SPEAKER_03: Like I've I've you know, like I whether when I was working as an employee or as a business, and that's what I keep reminding myself, because some months I make lower, like I have lower months, and I remember I remind myself, like, hey, but this is the proof that I have that these months I made this.
18:27
SPEAKER_03: So I do uh sometimes I do tie in like the success to it, but I have really rewrote the story.
18:38
SPEAKER_03: It's like no, it you're you are I am worthy no matter what, whether I have a dollar or a million dollars.
18:46
SPEAKER_03: So I know who I am and I know my worth and I know where I stand, but it is easy to make for me because I also grew up in a household of entrepreneurs where you made your money, but I also with that entrepreneurs lose their money.
19:00
SPEAKER_03: So this is where the story of money comes and money goes.
19:03
SPEAKER_03: You can make a whole lot of it and you can lose it, but then guess what?
19:06
SPEAKER_03: You can make a whole lot back.
19:07
SPEAKER_00: Well, and that's my point of like we have similar stories now, but we came from opposite ends.
19:14
SPEAKER_00: And that again is where it's a story, it's not truth.
19:17
SPEAKER_00: You viewed it as money shows, you know, prestige and this.
19:20
SPEAKER_00: And I showed, like, oh no, we don't want to show off money because it makes us look stuck, stuck up or whatever.
19:26
SPEAKER_00: But here we are in the middle now.
19:28
SPEAKER_00: And that's my point of you have to take some time to reprogram some of those thoughts and to reflect on them.
19:34
SPEAKER_00: Like you realize, okay, some of these stories are not serving me, and I realize like a lot of these stories aren't serving me.
19:39
SPEAKER_00: And so I think there's twofold.
19:41
SPEAKER_00: I like what you said.
19:42
SPEAKER_00: I think there's a time to absolutely surrender, and I think there's a time to start catching yourself and say, Oh, this is a story.
19:50
SPEAKER_00: What would better serve me?
19:51
SPEAKER_00: Like what new stories can I tell myself?
19:54
SPEAKER_00: Because remember, thoughts become things.
19:57
SPEAKER_00: We've talked about this before.
19:59
SPEAKER_00: Stories are thoughts.
20:00
SPEAKER_00: So if you keep having the same ones over and over and over, you're gonna just bring that back into your life.
20:05
SPEAKER_00: If you think money is always hard to come by, I guarantee you're not making any.
20:09
SPEAKER_00: I guarantee you're struggling.
20:13
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
20:15
SPEAKER_03: I know.
20:16
SPEAKER_03: Like, I know it's crazy.
20:18
SPEAKER_03: We did, we did grow up.
20:20
SPEAKER_03: Uh it's just crazy how it's they're all stories, how you said, you know, we and that it's not just money, it is health.
20:28
SPEAKER_03: Anything, it is anything, it's relationships, friendships.
20:32
SPEAKER_00: Um like I even said the state of the world, but like, do you think the world's a bad place?
20:37
SPEAKER_00: Do you think it's a good you know what I mean?
20:38
SPEAKER_00: Like, I hear stories right now of oh my gosh, the world's gonna end, it's such a bad place.
20:43
SPEAKER_00: So it was amazing during the Holocaust.
20:45
SPEAKER_00: Am I missing something?
20:46
SPEAKER_03: Like, it's the story is we've we've gone through it, and I think we've talked about in previous episode where what we're going through right now, I'm sure people went through it when we were when we did not exist on this planet on this earth yet, or our ancestor, you know what I mean?
21:01
SPEAKER_03: Like it's like go back to the 1910s and 1900s, and uh you know, I it's but I think uh right now, because of the information overload, this is where you are.
21:16
SPEAKER_00: There's a lot of panic, and there's a lot of comparison, and there is, and I'm not doubting, like I completely agree, but like we can get caught up in those stories then and create more of that, you know, and so in order to create something better, we've got to change those internal stories.
21:36
SPEAKER_03: We do, and it's it's doable and it's constant, it's every day, it's moment by moment.
21:47
SPEAKER_03: Right?
21:47
SPEAKER_03: It's not because even when you heal and reprogram stories, other stories show up.
21:56
SPEAKER_00: And I think that Our job on this planet is to learn and to grow and to evolve.
22:04
SPEAKER_00: Um, what was I gonna say around that?
22:07
SPEAKER_00: You said something and it made me think of something, but basically, oh, you had said this earlier, and it just reminded me too of like looking for the opposite, right?
22:15
SPEAKER_00: When you said, Oh, but wait, I know that I can earn money back, even though I lose it all.
22:20
SPEAKER_00: I think that is important.
22:22
SPEAKER_00: Look for that contradicting evidence.
22:25
SPEAKER_00: If you have, you know, let's say, oh, I'll always be sick, I'll never be healed.
22:29
SPEAKER_00: Okay, were you never healthy as a child ever?
22:33
SPEAKER_00: Or, you know, whatever it might be, relationships.
22:35
SPEAKER_00: Oh, I always have crappy relationships.
22:37
SPEAKER_00: You've never had a positive relationship in your life with a friend, a colleague.
22:42
SPEAKER_00: So look for the contradicting evidence too, because that's gonna help you start to shift those stories.
22:49
SPEAKER_03: And it is uncomfortable when it starts shifting, you are going to feel discomfort because you're getting out of safety, right?
22:59
SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
23:00
SPEAKER_03: And and remember, some experiences are just gonna come in.
23:05
SPEAKER_03: I don't like to use the word test, but to maybe show you that wait a minute, look at you, you're reprogramming, there's something wrong.
23:13
SPEAKER_03: Let's get back to let's get back to shore, and then you either get back to shore or you say, No, I'm going to keep reprogramming.
23:21
SPEAKER_03: So there are going, so I am gonna give an example.
23:25
SPEAKER_03: Last week I decided there was some anger about a topic, and I was like, you know what?
23:31
SPEAKER_03: I am so done carrying this anger, I want to let it go.
23:36
SPEAKER_03: And then I felt so good that same day, the day after, I felt so happy, but then because I'm reprogramming the story, something showed up and I felt into it for a quick second until you remind me today that we're gonna talk about attachment to stories, and now that I'm saying it out loud, I was like, uh oh.
24:00
SPEAKER_03: I went back to the old stories, and I had to remind myself and bring myself to awareness of wait a minute, you already let that go, you already said this, you're reprogramming.
24:11
SPEAKER_03: So you will get these what is another word for tests?
24:17
SPEAKER_03: Not I don't want to use opportunities, opportunity to it's kind of like when you reprogram the computer and then you get an overload on it, but it will, but the new program is stronger than that example.
24:38
SPEAKER_03: No, I get what you're saying.
24:40
SPEAKER_03: I mean, I like the opportunity to break down the new program will come in, and it is up to you to go back to safety or to continue with the discomfort.
24:53
SPEAKER_00: And you'll you'll get to the safety on the other side.
24:56
SPEAKER_00: It's just those stories have been protecting you, even if they don't feel like it for so long.
25:03
SPEAKER_00: But once you realize, like, okay, no, I'm still safe too, it's just this is a different story now.
25:09
SPEAKER_00: This is my new norm, whatever that might be.
25:12
SPEAKER_03: And you know what has helped me?
25:14
SPEAKER_03: I don't know if that works for you, but what has helped me is putting myself in uncomfortable situations in order to grow.
25:24
SPEAKER_00: A hundred percent.
25:25
SPEAKER_00: And I think we all need to do that.
25:26
SPEAKER_00: I think on purpose.
25:28
SPEAKER_00: Yep, yep.
25:29
SPEAKER_00: Because that's when the stories creep in.
25:32
SPEAKER_00: I can't do this, it's not gonna work out, it's gonna be too hard, and it's like, no, no, no, no, just work through it because now you've got the proof that that was just a story, it wasn't truth.
25:44
SPEAKER_03: And then give it time because you didn't attach to the old story just because you said it once.
25:53
SPEAKER_03: It was repeated and repeated and you repeated it and you heard it, etc.
25:57
SPEAKER_03: So give yourself time to rewrite the story.
26:03
SPEAKER_03: It to how long does it take an author to write a story?
26:06
SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
26:07
SPEAKER_03: To publish it.
26:08
SPEAKER_03: It doesn't take one day, it doesn't take two days.
26:11
SPEAKER_03: So I feel sometimes we are very impatient.
26:14
SPEAKER_03: Like, wait a minute, I already tried to reprogram it, it's not being reprogrammed, you know, even though we do give examples of a computer, but it is not, it's you gotta give it time and patience and constant reminders.
26:27
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, same with health.
26:29
SPEAKER_03: You didn't get to the point of that, let's say someone is chronically ill, you didn't get to that point just overnight.
26:36
SPEAKER_00: No, right?
26:38
SPEAKER_00: Not at all.
26:42
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, so it will take.
26:43
SPEAKER_03: I mean, I don't know, I'm not gonna put a number one how long it takes, but it will take some of your time and your patience that are needed and the compassion that you have for yourself.
26:54
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, because they'll show up in different ways too, right?
26:57
SPEAKER_00: Like, oh, I thought this money story was gone.
26:59
SPEAKER_00: But wait a minute, now it's showing up in this way.
27:01
SPEAKER_00: It's a slightly different story, but it's still related.
27:04
SPEAKER_00: So, you know, I'm fine with the word test, but I feel like they keep coming back as opportunities to keep looking at their stories and shifting them.
27:13
SPEAKER_00: And it could show up in a different That's what I mean.
27:16
SPEAKER_03: Like in a different necessarily money, it could show up in a friendship, in a relationship, in a yeah, yeah.
27:26
SPEAKER_02: What is the takeaway?
27:29
SPEAKER_02: The whole episode is a takeaway.
27:31
SPEAKER_03: I think right now our episodes are becoming more like they're just conversation.
27:37
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
27:37
SPEAKER_03: So I feel that our takeaways are just the conversation, and you take from it what you need to hear in the moment.
27:48
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
27:49
SPEAKER_00: I mean, that's how I learn.
27:50
SPEAKER_00: I listen, and whatever my whatever I'm ready to hear is what I'm gonna hear, and that's the thing.
27:56
SPEAKER_03: You could come back to this episode five more times and hear something totally different, so right, and then we can talk about attachment in five months and we can say different things, yeah.
28:07
SPEAKER_03: So oh my goodness, are we almost done?
28:13
SPEAKER_03: So we can do our breathing.
28:15
SPEAKER_00: We can do our breathing.
28:17
SPEAKER_03: Let's talk real quick about our.
28:19
SPEAKER_03: I'm not putting you on the spot.
28:20
SPEAKER_03: I didn't tell you that.
28:22
SPEAKER_03: Let's talk about our mini audio.
28:25
SPEAKER_03: Oh my gosh, we haven't mentioned this.
28:27
SPEAKER_00: You guys were slacking on this.
28:29
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
28:30
SPEAKER_04: Oh, that's a story.
28:33
SPEAKER_04: I think that was a fact in the moment.
28:38
SPEAKER_04: Like, no, that's actually a fact.
28:39
SPEAKER_00: But it's a fact, we've not mentioned it in a while.
28:42
SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah, I mean, we created a low-cost program for you guys to go through.
28:47
SPEAKER_00: Like if you want low cost, we're saying like it's$11.
28:51
SPEAKER_00: It's low cost, okay.
28:52
SPEAKER_00: That's the truth.
28:53
SPEAKER_00: Um, but yeah, the link is in the show notes if you guys want to check it out.
28:58
SPEAKER_00: But it's just another layer, right?
29:00
SPEAKER_00: Like the podcast is us chatting, and this is us chatting, but in a different way, right?
29:05
SPEAKER_00: Like Denise has one lesson.
29:06
SPEAKER_00: I have one lesson.
29:08
SPEAKER_00: So it's a little more task-oriented and it's a little more directive versus a conversation.
29:14
SPEAKER_00: It's okay, you know, Denise talks about the 1%.
29:17
SPEAKER_00: You're gonna take this one percent today and when you're listening to this audio, and tomorrow the next one percent when you're listening to this audio to have that growth that you're after.
29:27
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, to just open up, to start opening up your awareness that we have been talking about to take that one percent shift because it's I mean, it you're not gonna go from zero to one hundred, but it's you can go from zero to one, you can go from one to three, and it's giving you the tools, right?
29:46
SPEAKER_00: Like I've gone through multiple programs, and it you know what I mean?
29:51
SPEAKER_00: Like, there's layers upon layers upon layers.
29:54
SPEAKER_00: Like, this is you peeling the first layer of the onion, listening to the podcast, that's another layer.
29:58
SPEAKER_03: Like, you're just gonna keep peeling back, and this is a great way to just like you said, take that one percent shift, and it's less than a trip to Starbucks if you get food and a drink.
30:10
SPEAKER_03: That's true.
30:11
SPEAKER_00: Seriously, yes, don't drink Starbucks though, different conversation, okay.
30:17
SPEAKER_03: Denise is giving me a look.
30:19
SPEAKER_03: I do I do drink Starbucks, and my daughter does, and I brother now, but uh we're not gonna diss Starbucks if you're listening.
30:27
SPEAKER_03: You can be Team Kira or Team Denise.
30:30
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I don't drink Starbucks every day, but yeah, we should do an Instagram poll.
30:36
SPEAKER_04: That'd be funny.
30:37
SPEAKER_04: Should are you Team Kira or Team Denise?
30:41
SPEAKER_04: I love and then you're gonna have some people say, What?
30:45
SPEAKER_04: I drink Starbucks every day.
30:46
SPEAKER_04: What are you doing, Kira?
30:48
SPEAKER_04: That's Team Denise then.
30:51
SPEAKER_04: Alrighty.
30:52
SPEAKER_00: Uh so I have a mantra.
30:55
SPEAKER_00: Ooh, I release the stories that no longer serve me.
31:00
SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
31:02
SPEAKER_03: Wow, that's powerful shit.
31:05
SPEAKER_03: See, that's why we want you in the audio course because we will say random powerful stuff.
31:11
SPEAKER_03: We do here too.
31:12
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
31:13
SPEAKER_03: And then we're in your ears.
31:14
SPEAKER_03: It's and it's really easy.
31:15
SPEAKER_03: We made it audio so you don't have to worry about like videos and because you can basically be folding your laundry or doing the dishes and listening to us and learning the tools and all that.
31:27
SPEAKER_03: Alrighty, I released the stories that no longer serve me.
31:30
SPEAKER_03: Alrighty, we are going to do 478.
31:34
SPEAKER_03: That's a that's um one of the mindful breathing I do with one of my students, and she loves it.
31:42
SPEAKER_03: So, this is what we're gonna do.
31:43
SPEAKER_03: So, we're gonna inhale for four, hold for what did I say, four, seven, eight?
31:49
SPEAKER_03: Yes, four seven eight.
31:51
SPEAKER_03: And then we're going to release for eight.
31:54
SPEAKER_03: If you're driving, I think I feel like I have to say that all the time.
31:58
SPEAKER_03: If you're driving, please don't close your eyes.
32:00
SPEAKER_03: But if you're not, go ahead and close your eyes, hand on your heart.
32:05
SPEAKER_03: You can have another hand on your belly if you want to, if not, it doesn't matter.
32:09
SPEAKER_03: We're gonna breathe in for four, two, three, four, hold for seven, six, five, four, three, two, one, and exhale for eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one.
32:32
SPEAKER_03: I release the stories that no longer serve me.
32:35
SPEAKER_03: Let's do one more cycle.
32:37
SPEAKER_03: Inhale for four, two, three, four, hold for seven, six, five, four, three, two, one, and exhale for eight, seven, six, five, four, three, eight, two, one.
33:00
SPEAKER_03: I release the stories then no longer, so it's one of my favorites.
33:05
SPEAKER_00: I think it's anything.
33:07
SPEAKER_03: Alright guys, I'll see you on the next episode.