Latest / Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot / Run the Risk, Reap the Reward 6/7: Say 'No' When Feeling Pressure to Say 'Yes': Self-Care Saturday.
Transcript
- 0:06Speaker 1: Greetings and welcome.
- 0:07Speaker 1: Welcome to the Sweet Spot.
- 0:10Speaker 1: You are listening to Self-Care Saturday on the Sweet Spot.
- 0:13Speaker 1: If you've been with me all week, you've been in the amazing series we've been doing called Run the Risk and Reap the Reward Beautiful souls.
- 0:23Speaker 1: As you know, I'm your host.
- 0:25Speaker 1: I'm Dr Derek Sweet.
- 0:26Speaker 1: I'm a board-certified psychiatrist.
- 0:28Speaker 1: I specialize in high performance and today, today, I want to offer you something that might sound a little counterintuitive.
- 0:37Speaker 1: Sometimes the most powerful form of self-care is taking a risk.
- 0:42Speaker 1: We don't usually think of it that way.
- 0:45Speaker 1: Self-care sounds like softness, safety, a break from the chaos.
- 0:51Speaker 1: That's not entirely wrong.
- 0:54Speaker 1: It is all of those things.
- 0:56Speaker 1: But it's also much more Real self-care, the kind that nourishes your soul and changes your life, that often takes courage.
- 1:08Speaker 1: Look at nature for a minute.
- 1:10Speaker 1: Today we're not going to do any neuroscience.
- 1:12Speaker 1: We're going to do nature science.
- 1:13Speaker 1: Think of a seed that cracks open before it grows.
- 1:18Speaker 1: There's risk right there, right.
- 1:21Speaker 1: Think of a tree that sheds its leaves without knowing exactly when spring will come.
- 1:27Speaker 1: Birds they migrate thousands of miles with no guarantees, just instinct and trust.
- 1:37Speaker 1: Nothing in nature evolves without risk, and neither do you.
- 1:43Speaker 1: Nature evolves without risk, and neither do you.
- 1:51Speaker 1: So maybe your version of your self-care isn't a bubble bath today, alright.
- 1:53Speaker 1: Maybe it's more about putting yourself first, speaking your truth.
- 2:00Speaker 1: Maybe it's about you saying no when you are tempted to say yes, and remember what we've talked about on other self-care Saturdays.
- 2:13Speaker 1: We've said that when you say no to something, you might just be saying yes to yourself.
- 2:18Speaker 1: Maybe your self-care looks like finally making space to do the thing that you've been putting off for eons and eons for years.
- 2:35Speaker 1: Maybe it's about taking the risk to go sign up for the dance class that you never did.
- 2:45Speaker 1: There's a kind of risk that protects your energy and rebuilds your joy, and that's what I mean by going to the dance class just trying something new, even if it scares you, even if you feel it'll make you look ridiculous.
- 3:03Speaker 1: Maybe you've never played tennis or golf, but you want to try.
- 3:07Speaker 1: Go get a lesson.
- 3:11Speaker 1: And, as I said, maybe it's just about practicing saying no.
- 3:16Speaker 1: Maybe it's about disappointing someone so that you can have the time to take care of you, pursuing your passions, whatever they are, even if these things don't make sense to you yet.
- 3:29Speaker 1: Just going out and finding out who are you, what do you like to do other than just the things that you're accustomed to doing?
- 3:39Speaker 1: Sometimes self-care can look like this this opening yourself up to have a conversation, even if you've been hurt before or it's uncomfortable, just trusting someone to have that conversation so that you're not alone and isolated, carrying these burdens.
- 3:59Speaker 1: And it can be something radically different.
- 4:03Speaker 1: It can be just maybe you're speaking up Even if your voice is shaky and you don't like public speaking or asserting yourself.
- 4:12Speaker 1: Caring for yourself means that your voice also has to be heard.
- 4:16Speaker 1: These aren't reckless things, my friend.
- 4:19Speaker 1: They're restorative.
- 4:20Speaker 1: They say I am worth it.
- 4:24Speaker 1: They say I'm worth showing up for Because you've got to care for you so that you don't get run ragged.
- 4:38Speaker 1: And when you suppress yourself or you put yourself last or you are not caring for yourself, you're hurting your own biology.
- 4:45Speaker 1: Your body becomes the battleground on which All that stress, the war of dealing with life, plays out.
- 4:56Speaker 1: And you don't want your body to be weary, to be burdened, to be broken down.
- 5:01Speaker 1: That's not what your neurobiology wants.
- 5:05Speaker 1: That's not what your physiology wants.
- 5:08Speaker 1: Your blood pressure should be balanced.
- 5:12Speaker 1: Your pulse should be at a regular rate.
- 5:14Speaker 1: It shouldn't be racing.
- 5:15Speaker 1: Your blood vessels should be relaxed.
- 5:16Speaker 1: They shouldn't be balanced.
- 5:16Speaker 1: Your pulse should be at a regular rate.
- 5:17Speaker 1: It shouldn't be racing.
- 5:17Speaker 1: Your blood vessels should be relaxed.
- 5:19Speaker 1: They shouldn't be tight.
- 5:20Speaker 1: Your muscles should be supple and if something is stressing you out that much, it's time.
- 5:31Speaker 1: It's time to take the risk to put yourself first Something about this world.
- 5:38Speaker 1: People will run you ragged if they can.
- 5:42Speaker 1: They don't mean to be just insensitive.
- 5:46Speaker 1: It's just that if we keep putting ourselves out there like that and we're just like a buffet that people just keep coming and taking and taking and taking, well, at the end of the day we're going to be weary, we're going to be burdened, we're going to be just tired and stressed.
- 6:01Speaker 1: And then they kind of visit us at the hospital.
- 6:05Speaker 1: They look at us with pity and say why didn't he take care of himself?
- 6:09Speaker 1: Why didn't she take care of herself?
- 6:11Speaker 1: The same people, okay.
- 6:15Speaker 1: So look, the ancient scriptures put it this way come to me all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
- 6:24Speaker 1: That is what god says.
- 6:26Speaker 1: Jesus says it in matthew come to me all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
- 6:34Speaker 1: That's not just permission, it's an invitation.
- 6:38Speaker 1: God, the divine, the most high, is inviting you to care for yourself, to get some rest and to find rest in the divine, in something bigger than yourself, in something bigger than yourself, to come, come to where the arms are open to embrace you.
- 7:01Speaker 1: How wonderful is that?
- 7:07Speaker 1: And you know, I don't know what your challenge is today, but what I'm here to tell you this is this you've got to take an intentional risk to care for you, one that honors your growth, one that honors your heart, one that honors your self-care, because you are fearfully and wonderfully made and you've been bought with a price.
- 7:39Speaker 1: You're on this planet, you're in this universe, you're a being, you're a human being.
- 7:49Speaker 1: So self-care is about setting a boundary and taking care of yourself.
- 7:53Speaker 1: It's Saturday, it's self-care Saturday.
- 7:55Speaker 1: Do something for you.
- 7:57Speaker 1: I don't care if it's one minute that you do it, just do it for you.
- 8:02Speaker 1: Say your truth, speak your truth, start something new.
- 8:06Speaker 1: Choose yourself today to go first online.
- 8:12Speaker 1: Choose yourself without apology, just choose you.
- 8:15Speaker 1: Okay, nothing wrong with that.
- 8:17Speaker 1: You have to love your neighbor as you love who, yourself and if we don't love ourselves, then how can we love anybody else?
- 8:25Speaker 1: So you don't have to leap today, okay, just move Gently, but forward.
- 8:32Speaker 1: Be kind to you, be compassionate to you, look in that mirror and say I love you.
- 8:44Speaker 1: I love you Because around here.
- 8:52Speaker 1: Self-care isn't always soft.
- 8:52Speaker 1: Sometimes it's strong, sometimes it's uncomfortable, sometimes it's brave and at all times it understands this Run the risk to run, reap the reward.
- 9:06Speaker 1: Run the risk to reap the reward.
- 9:11Speaker 1: Okay now.
- 9:13Speaker 1: Thank you for listening.
- 9:14Speaker 1: Thank you for listening to this sweet spot all week.
- 9:18Speaker 1: Thank you for taking the risk so that you can grab the reward.
- 9:23Speaker 1: And tomorrow we're going to zoom all the way out to the stars, to the cosmos and the rhythms of the creation and the universe.
- 9:31Speaker 1: For a reminder that you know, even the universe was built on some bold beginnings, and we always dabble in a little astrophysics.
- 9:40Speaker 1: We kind of leave the neuroscience and nature science alone.
- 9:43Speaker 1: So I'm looking forward to seeing what Slow Down Sunday brings tomorrow.
- 9:48Speaker 1: I hope you are too.
- 9:49Speaker 1: God bless you.
- 9:50Speaker 1: And if you're vibing with what you're hearing here, I invite you to not just like but subscribe.
- 9:59Speaker 1: And not just subscribe share, share with someone who might need this message about self-care.