Latest / Becoming Anchored / Becoming Anchored S3E12: How to Increase Your Sense of Self-Worth

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Becoming Anchored S3E12: How to Increase Your Sense of Self-Worth · Becoming Anchored

0:01
laura: Hi, everyone.
0:02
Welcome to the becoming anchored podcast.
0:05
My name is Laura Dineen.
0:06
I will be your host for today.
0:08
Lauren Jackson is not with us, but she is with us in spirit.
0:11
So welcome to the show today.
0:14
We have a lovely, exciting guest for you all.
0:16
Sarah Christianson Jeffs.
0:18
She is amazing.
0:20
And I really just have loved her content and following her on Instagram.
0:24
And so I reached out and asked her if she wanted to be on the show today.
0:27
So welcome Sarah,
0:29
sara: Thank you.
0:29
Hi, thanks for having me on.
0:31
laura: of course.
0:32
Yeah.
0:32
I'm super excited just to learn from you and chat with you today.
0:36
If you're new to the becoming anchor podcast, we really are
0:39
about two things on this show.
0:40
So first and foremost, Lauren and I are human and we go through hard things.
0:45
We go through pain and suffering.
0:46
We also go through Joy.
0:49
And we love to share a little bit more about our personal lives on this show.
0:53
We also have the wonderful gift of sitting with clients on a day in and day out
0:57
basis and truly just cherish that work.
1:01
I was actually just talking to a client today about how
1:03
sacred the work of therapy is.
1:06
And so we love to provide some of our insights and maybe nuggets of wisdom
1:11
that we have gleaned over the years.
1:30
So if this is your first time listening to the show, welcome.
1:33
We're so glad that you're here.
1:34
Quick disclaimer, this is not meant to be your therapy.
1:37
If you are in the state of Tennessee, we would love to see you.
1:40
So please reach out to our practice anchored counseling co.
1:43
If not, we recommend that you find someone who is in your state or local to you.
1:49
So Sarah, thank you so much for your time today and joining us.
1:52
sara: Thank you for having me.
1:53
I'm so glad to be here.
1:55
laura: Of course.
1:56
Yeah.
1:56
Sarah and I were chatting right before the show.
1:57
And I know that you talk about so many wonderful things on your
2:01
account and for the record, we will link her account in the show notes.
2:05
If you all are interested in following Sarah, but we really just talked about how
2:10
to access your innate sense of self worth and that being the topic that we really
2:16
wanted to explore with you all today.
2:18
sara: Yeah, I love the whole concept of that.
2:21
It's something that I feel really passionate about.
2:24
And I think that right now, especially we're in December and we're just getting
2:30
inundated with these messages about Almost like an end of year panic, right?
2:34
Like get a headstart on your dream body or crush your goals or you know,
2:39
all these things that you need to do to validate yourself or make yourself
2:44
better in all these different ways.
2:46
And I think that the quest for growth and personal development is amazing.
2:51
It's admirable.
2:53
People want to grow and, and achieve their goals and their dreams.
2:57
But I think sometimes along the way people forget.
3:00
Just how much innate worth they have that isn't dependent on what they
3:05
do, or perform, or achieve, or the goals that they crush, or how they
3:10
look, or any of those other things.
3:12
It's just there within them, and it's unconditional, and I just
3:17
think it's a really important message for us all to remember.
3:20
laura: Absolutely.
3:22
Yeah.
3:22
I mean, I completely concur and agree.
3:25
And Yeah, absolutely.
3:26
And I, I think the messages, especially this time of year and
3:31
really even into January and, you know, the rest of the year or two,
3:35
they certainly pop up, but they're problematic and they can be harmful.
3:40
Because yeah, like there's nothing wrong with working hard or having a dream or
3:45
goal, but we can almost kind of take that and run with it in a problematic way.
3:50
And that's what I hear you saying right now.
3:52
sara: Yeah, I think so.
3:54
And I think that we just absorb all of these messages.
3:57
I think that was really one of the reasons why I started my instagram
4:01
account in the first place.
4:03
I started it about over three years ago and it was just thinking of the
4:08
way that we consume social media.
4:10
And at the time, both my kids were teenagers and A lot of times it's
4:15
just these micro messages that come through as we scroll a lot of times
4:19
it's people's highlight reels, right?
4:21
And that kind of thing.
4:22
And we're just absorbing this message of like more, more, more, we need
4:26
to do more, be more, achieve more.
4:28
And I think that sometimes it can just leave people feeling
4:32
inadequate or just feeling, you know, Bad about their own lives.
4:36
So I kind of started the account thinking, okay, if someone just scrolls through
4:40
my account and they get this message for five seconds to remind them of
4:45
how far they've come or to remind them that they are enough exactly as they
4:50
are, that they don't have to do another thing to make them any more worthy.
4:54
Then I just felt like that was really worthwhile.
4:57
You know, whoever that reached.
4:59
I think those messages are important for us more than ever.
5:02
laura: Hmm.
5:03
Hmm.
5:04
Yeah.
5:04
I mean, a couple of things just to highlight from what you shared, the micro
5:08
messaging feels important to highlight just in the sense that I think brands
5:15
as a whole have gotten really adept, if you will, at sending these messages.
5:21
And they're kind of cloaked in branding and fancy verbiage.
5:25
But at the end of the day, they do, I think, oftentimes lead to us feeling bad
5:30
about ourselves or not enough, and they're oftentimes cloaked with some layer of
5:34
shame or defectiveness, which then, you know, I think people can start to feel
5:41
like, Oh, wow, I need to do this thing.
5:42
And then that's, what's going to lead me to experiencing being lovable or enough.
5:48
So that is interesting that you're talking about that, right?
5:51
It's like that shame based messaging.
5:53
It's a little bit more subtle and it's smart on the part of
5:56
the, these brands, but it's also problematic in many different ways.
6:01
sara: Yeah, because I think just this message that people feel like the
6:05
clients that I work with as a wellness coach, I think sometimes that message
6:09
of just not enoughness or a message of feeling like they're too much in
6:14
certain ways and just feeling the pressure to conform to their needs.
6:18
This thing that's out there.
6:20
I think it's just so important for people to remember, like their own unique light
6:25
and their strengths and their gifts.
6:27
And a lot of times when I've worked with clients, like the
6:30
first thing we do is like, tell me what you're doing really well.
6:34
Tell me what's strong about you.
6:35
Tell me something in your life that you are the most proud of.
6:39
Because I think so many times, again, on this quest for improvement.
6:44
It's just forgetting to like fortify our strengths.
6:47
And it's so interesting because even the research shows that like, if we tap into
6:53
what's already like inherently good and strong about us, it motivates us to pursue
6:59
the things that we want for the future.
7:01
It's like a really good practice to do.
7:03
So yeah, I think sometimes it's just a message.
7:06
I think, what did they say?
7:08
Like, you need to hear something, is it seven times before the message sinks in?
7:12
So I thought, okay, like.
7:13
Even with the account, if this is just one of the seven messages to remind
7:17
someone, Oh yeah, like I forgot, I overcame that and I'm going to just
7:22
stop for a minute and celebrate it before I make out all of my goals
7:27
and lists for what I want to do next.
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And yeah, I think it's, it's just such an important thing to fortify what's already
7:34
there within us to celebrate it, to remember it, to celebrate our uniqueness.
7:40
laura: absolutely.
7:41
Well, and we talk a lot about hope on this show and I am a firm
7:46
believer that that is one way for us to access both our resiliency.
7:52
and hopefulness about the future is looking historically around what
7:57
we've overcome what we are proud of.
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It's that strengths based approach of like, Hey, what is going well for me?
8:03
What are areas in which I'm really gifted?
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And we are so quick to dismiss those or maybe forget those as human beings.
8:11
So I love that you were doing that work with clients.
8:13
Just out of curiosity, what are the answers that people give you
8:17
when, when you're asking them, like what they're proud of?
8:20
sara: Oh, like so many things because I've worked like also one to one as
8:25
a health professional for over 20 years and like people are amazing
8:30
and their strength and courage.
8:32
Like you just look at someone's life, you see a snapshot of it, right?
8:36
And then you get into conversation with someone and the way that they've.
8:40
overcome this thing that maybe no one even knew was a struggle for them.
8:45
I say this a lot to people.
8:46
I truly believe doing the work and going to therapy is incredibly brave.
8:51
So that's something to celebrate, to actually speak help and ask for help
8:56
and say, I don't want to do this alone.
8:59
I think the way that people just show up Even amidst the fear and the
9:04
challenge, the way that the resiliency that people have, I know sometimes that
9:09
word can get a little bit overused, but the true resiliency that people
9:13
have to get knocked down, get back up again, they're working on themselves.
9:18
They're taking brave steps, you know, all of those things.
9:22
And I think even in this like post COVID landscape where, you know,
9:26
our world has changed a lot and.
9:29
It's caused a lot of fear and anxiety for people and yet people are still
9:33
like doing the work and showing up.
9:35
So the most amazing stories I've heard from people of just strength and
9:39
courage and kindness and compassion.
9:43
And I love listening to people's stories.
9:46
Again, even on the account, people will sometimes leave something in the comments
9:50
of, of what they did overcome or achieve.
9:52
And.
9:52
They're just such great things to remember and to celebrate.
9:56
laura: Absolutely.
9:57
And you light up when you're talking about it.
9:59
So I can tell that it's really meaningful for you.
10:02
sara: Yeah.
10:03
I think it just to be, if you can remind someone of that, it's like, we're just
10:07
so bombarded with information too, right?
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We're just in this age of information overload.
10:13
We have so much coming at us all the time.
10:16
So again, just remembering what's important.
10:19
and remembering what's already been there is so, so worthwhile.
10:24
laura: I love this.
10:25
And I already feel a sense of encouragement.
10:27
You know, we've been talking for about 10 minutes now, and I already feel a
10:29
sense of encouragement chatting with you.
10:31
So I know that the work that you're doing with your clients is so meaningful.
10:35
But really circling back to the topic for this episode.
10:38
So how to access your innate sense of self worth.
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I think first and foremost, we like to provide working definitions of
10:46
what we're talking about before we're even doing this, the how to write the
10:50
practical takeaways, the practical steps.
10:52
So when you're thinking about the working definition or the concept of self worth,
10:59
you've mentioned a few things, right?
11:01
This unconditional love, this unique light that individuals have.
11:05
What else would you add to that today?
11:08
sara: I think it really starts with just having extra compassion for yourself.
11:15
And I'm such a big fan of like Dr.
11:17
Kristen Neff's work around self compassion.
11:20
I think it's really transformative work.
11:23
And I think especially for people who tend to be Really driven, really
11:27
high achievers, and who maybe just have a really loud inner critic
11:32
that makes them feel like they have to do more and more to be worthy,
11:37
to feel worthy, to feel validated.
11:39
I think it really starts with just giving yourself extra kindness.
11:44
And the whole work and principle behind that is that you give yourself
11:49
the same kindness and care that you would give to a good friend.
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And I think a lot of times we find it easier to show kindness and compassion
11:57
for other people than we do for ourselves.
12:00
And so this work of self compassion, I think it's just an integral part of
12:04
accessing your worth because you're really just giving yourself space.
12:09
For everything that you're feeling, for every challenge, every difficulty,
12:15
it's really the opposite of toxic positivity where you feel like
12:18
you just have to put on a brave face and keep like soldiering on.
12:22
It's more about just giving yourself kindness and especially if you're
12:27
finding things hard or you're experiencing difficult feelings or
12:31
you're going through a hard time in your life, just stopping for a minute.
12:35
And thinking, okay, seeing yourself and giving yourself some kindness.
12:40
It's giving yourself a break.
12:41
I think noticing how you feel
12:45
laura: Absolutely.
12:46
Gosh.
12:46
I love all of this.
12:47
And I deeply resonate with everything that you're sharing just as someone
12:53
who has had to work differently.
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I, you know, I know I shared this right before we started recording, but
12:58
really I've had a couple of different seasons in my career as a therapist.
13:02
And one of those was right after I had my daughter and we went through just
13:06
a lot of change and I needed to shift where I was putting my worth, right?
13:11
Because historically I have been someone that.
13:15
put my sense of worth in what I achieve.
13:18
And it can lead to burnout.
13:20
It kind of can feel like you're on this hamster wheel that is
13:23
never ending and it's exhausting.
13:26
sara: Yes.
13:27
And I think life transitions like becoming a mom.
13:31
There's so many like times in life where I think that can highlight more in your
13:36
life because it's such a change and we kind of, we get to know ourselves right
13:41
through sense of accomplishment, through what we do and all of those things.
13:45
And if we're suddenly in a situation where everything's different it can
13:49
highlight some of those areas that feel a little scary and uncertain for us.
13:54
And I think it just starts with, yeah, the kindness of like,
13:57
it's okay that I feel this way.
14:00
Dr.
14:00
Kristin Neff talks about like connecting to our common humanity too, which is just
14:05
reminding ourselves that even though what we're going through might be a really,
14:09
really unique struggle, and no one else has walked in our shoes, but reminding
14:14
ourselves like the difficult feelings that we feel with it are so universal and
14:19
that other people feel the same way too.
14:22
And I think that's an important thing because we can feel so isolated when
14:25
we're struggling or we can look around us and it can look like other people
14:30
just have it together or whatever else.
14:32
So reminding ourselves that we're not alone.
14:35
In these times, like as a new mom, you know, it's remembering that so
14:40
many, every other new mom goes through just the same thing and, you know,
14:45
it just takes away those feelings of isolation, which I think is so important.
14:49
laura: Absolutely.
14:50
Absolutely.
14:51
And it's an invitation really to perhaps shift how we're,
14:55
how we're doing things, right?
14:56
If you are someone listening today and you would Resonate with what
15:01
Sarah is sharing around like, Oh, wow.
15:02
Maybe I do put too much of my worth in external things, whether that's
15:07
work or a relationship or job performance or whatever it might be.
15:12
We don't have to shame that it's really an invitation to do some of this deeper
15:18
work around like really getting curious.
15:21
I guess this is more of the how to, but.
15:23
I, I wonder, you know, why without the judgment there, but why
15:28
this is the case for me, right?
15:30
Like I wonder what this is about for me and really looking at this through
15:34
the lens of curiosity and compassion, I think can be one of the first steps
15:40
sara: Yeah.
15:40
laura: starting to question some of those messages.
15:43
Like we talked about at the beginning of the show can be part of that, that
15:48
process for you to, if you resonate with what Sarah and I are talking about today.
15:53
sara: Yeah.
15:53
I love that.
15:54
And I love you bringing in like the curiosity piece too, because it,
15:58
then it just kind of silences any tendency to be critical of ourselves.
16:03
I feel like I shouldn't be feeling this way, or I should be over this by now,
16:07
or I should be further along than I am.
16:10
I think so many people feel that way.
16:12
They, they feel like they're struggling to keep up with all the
16:15
noise and everything around them.
16:18
And I think the curiosity kind of It, it helps to silence all of
16:23
those things and it helps us just to get to know ourselves better.
16:27
And I think that's a part of self worth too, is the better we know ourselves,
16:32
the more we can just be kind and loving towards ourselves too, you know, it's
16:37
just a part of self love is self discovery and understanding ourselves more.
16:43
laura: Sure.
16:44
Sure.
16:45
Well, in circling back to one thing that I wanted to talk about, you
16:48
know, I think this theme of comparison has come up in today's show, right?
16:52
And if we think about what gets in the way of accessing our innate self worth, I
16:57
do think that that's a piece of the work for a lot of us is if we find ourselves
17:03
in patterns of comparison or even in patterns of okay, I extend kindness
17:09
to This friend, but not to myself.
17:12
That's a similar pattern that's happening.
17:15
Really exploring that with our own selves, with gentleness and
17:18
tenderness and compassion can be really fruitful work as well.
17:22
sara: Definitely, completely agree.
17:24
I think just being aware that we can all have a tendency to do that.
17:29
And again, like there's such wonderful things about like social
17:32
media, the internet, it connects.
17:34
It helps us more, you know, there's so many great things about it, but
17:38
it does bring in more comparison.
17:40
We are seeing so many other people's lives more than we ever have before.
17:45
And it, but again, we're just seeing little snapshots of it.
17:49
We're not always seeing the internal struggles.
17:52
I admire like the mental health accounts that do talk about these things more.
17:56
I think they're so important, but I think a lot of times it can just, perpetuate
18:01
that message of people have it together.
18:04
I'm struggling.
18:05
I feel alone.
18:06
And so, yeah, I think it's just so important to create that space around
18:12
us for our struggles and our hardships.
18:15
laura: Absolutely.
18:16
And, and we rarely see the full picture, I think, with social media.
18:22
And that's something that I'm consistently talking to my clients
18:25
about is, you know, give me an example of what you noticed on your
18:29
friend's timeline or on their account.
18:33
Sometimes people are honest and vulnerable, and I think we're trending
18:37
in that direction, and that's wonderful, but a lot of times the pictures that we
18:41
post are the things that we talk about are more of a curated image versus,
18:47
like you talked about, the reality of what might be happening behind closed
18:50
doors, and that can be a lot for our brains to digest, too, and can lead to
18:55
the comparison and can, I think, chip away at some of the self worth that
18:59
we're talking about today as well.
19:01
sara: Yeah.
19:02
I completely agree.
19:03
Yeah.
19:04
laura: Yeah.
19:05
Well, and it's interesting too, because, you know, we do, we practice
19:09
through a trauma informed lens, right?
19:11
So, this concept of, you know, how to access our innate self worth, I
19:17
think we can't I know this is a double negative, but we can't not talk about
19:20
developmental trauma as well without getting too much into it, right?
19:24
But, you know, Sarah and I today have talked about, okay, How much are we
19:27
comparing ourselves to other people?
19:30
Is there an inner critic going on?
19:32
Are we extending the same kindness to ourselves that we
19:35
would extend to other people?
19:37
How much are we on socials and how much is that actually a picture of
19:42
real life versus imaginative life?
19:45
And there is a piece, too, if you struggle with self worth, we almost have to look
19:50
at our historical timeline as well.
19:53
So really looking at, and I'm sure you do this some with your clients
19:57
as well, but you know, as, as a child growing up, how were you talked to did
20:03
you have someone that believed in you, were you loved on, were you cherished?
20:08
And those are helpful questions as well because those formative years
20:12
matter as well in terms of our ability to access our innate self worth.
20:16
sara: It's so true.
20:17
I completely agree with that.
20:19
And I think that, you know, sometimes we do, we go back to move forward, right?
20:24
I think that's where therapy is such an important piece of that too, to
20:27
go back and explore those topics.
20:30
But then also we can, there's so much that we can unlearn and that's
20:34
just another part of personal development and moving forward is
20:38
unlearning the messages that maybe we internalize that when we performed
20:43
well, that's when we felt more loved.
20:46
And when we didn't perform so well, that's when we didn't.
20:48
And it's really by like revisiting those stories and those messages,
20:54
Like, we really truly get to rewrite some of it, and I know that, you
20:58
know, it's not as simple as that.
20:59
There's work behind it but that's the wonderful thing even about our brains,
21:04
about the way that our bodies heal, is that when we go back and discover some
21:09
of that in moving forward, you know, we can realize the ways that that wasn't
21:15
true, and that actually this is the truth of who we are, and this is what we're
21:19
going to cling on to moving forward.
21:21
Yeah.
21:23
laura: Yeah, the unlearning, I think, just feels so important to highlight today.
21:28
Just even the permission to pause and look at our stories and look at where
21:35
perhaps we were, we needed more from a caregiver or parental figure in that
21:41
moment where our needs weren't met.
21:45
We were maybe consistently praised for our grades versus the kindness
21:50
that we extended to others.
21:52
And the purpose of this conversation is not to shame our parents, but it's more
21:56
to allow our adult selves to really.
21:58
Go back and take care of our younger selves, and I think that
22:02
can be really fruitful, too.
22:03
And it's interesting, too.
22:04
I've leaned a little bit more into this framework, just even having a daughter
22:09
and watching her go through some of the experiences recently and, you know,
22:14
looking at maybe some of my own stuff that has shown up even as a mom and
22:19
So all that to say, I think that can be a really fruitful part of accessing
22:23
our innate self worth is looking at maybe times when we felt missed in our
22:27
childhood or when our worthiness wasn't valued or pointed out or appreciated.
22:36
That can just be really fruitful work to do as well.
22:39
sara: It really can, and it's so true what you said about, like, when you become a
22:42
mom, you, you're almost confronted with revisiting some of those messages, right?
22:48
Because now you're an adult and you're looking at this child
22:52
and you're knowing that Yeah.
22:54
How much you love them and that unconditional love that you feel.
22:58
And you want them to have that same message.
23:00
My daughter is 15, almost 16 and you know, it's the same thing.
23:05
Just, I want that message to really sink in so deeply that it's great
23:11
to have ambition and to want all of these things, but none of it changes.
23:16
The essence of who you are, you will always be.
23:19
Such a beautiful, lovable person with this innate worth that does
23:24
not rest on successes or failures or external validation or anything else.
23:31
laura: Yeah.
23:32
Yeah.
23:33
Wow.
23:33
What a gift she has to have you as a mother and to hear
23:36
those messages consistently.
23:38
I think a lot of people have a lot of grief around this, right?
23:42
Because if as a therapist or perhaps as a coach, if you're pointing this
23:46
out to your clients, I know they can almost, my clients at least who may
23:50
be struggled with accessing their innate worth can almost look at me
23:55
like with a posture of like, really?
23:57
Or that's hard for me to, they'll say something like, that's hard
24:01
for me to believe, Laura, or I was never told that growing up.
24:04
And I think that can also evoke a grief response for a lot of individuals
24:09
around, even as we start to like look at what gives us a sense of self worth
24:16
if they didn't have that growing up.
24:19
And so there can be a natural grief process as we begin to uncover the
24:24
layers of our innate self worth as well.
24:26
Yeah.
24:27
Yeah.
24:28
sara: so important to, again, just, like, give yourself space for that grief, too,
24:33
because that's where I think the self compassion comes in, and that's where
24:38
you're, like, pushing away any toxic positivity, because toxic positivity
24:43
would say, like, it's in the past, just move on, and that doesn't serve anyone.
24:47
I think you have to give yourself space for, and grief.
24:52
for maybe the things that you needed as a child that you didn't receive.
24:56
Like that's so valid to grieve that and to acknowledge it to yourself.
25:01
I think that's part of self love is to really let yourself feel those
25:06
very valid feelings instead of telling yourself again, how you should feel.
25:12
It's given, I think it's just, I think self compassion is like
25:15
such an expansive practice.
25:17
It's just like, I almost imagine it like it just creates this cushion around
25:21
you where there's room to breathe.
25:23
There's room to feel everything that you're feeling.
25:26
You're not trying to put it away.
25:28
And then it just allows you to process it more healthily.
25:32
And I think with the self love too, like you were saying, it's as a concept,
25:37
I think self love, self worth, it's almost like we imagine You have to stand
25:43
in front of a mirror and be like, I'm amazing, like all that kind of thing.
25:46
I don't think that's how anyone necessarily feels.
25:49
If they do, that's great.
25:51
But it's more just like the little, little steps at a time, you know?
25:55
It could be the time where you choose to give yourself the care and the rest
26:00
that you need instead of pushing through something when you know it's going to.
26:05
burn out and exhaust you.
26:07
Or it could be just making a little pact with yourself that, okay, every
26:13
day this week, I'm just going to try and say one kind thing to myself.
26:17
That feels true to me.
26:19
That resonates with me.
26:20
So you don't, like with affirming words, you don't have to muster up these
26:24
statements that don't even feel real.
26:26
It could just be something as simple as, it's okay that I'm feeling this way.
26:32
And I am going to let myself feel everything I'm feeling.
26:36
It's just giving yourself like that tenderness.
26:39
And I think that's a way that you can build that a little bit more is
26:43
just like those little tiny steps.
26:45
It doesn't have to be these great big feelings.
26:49
It really can be like actionable steps that you think, okay, I'm
26:52
going to try and weave a little bit more of this into my life.
26:56
laura: Absolutely.
26:57
Isn't that so interesting when, you know, and you know, I have certainly done this,
27:02
so I'll be the first to raise my hand with this, but I learned about a new concept or
27:06
I feel challenged or encouraged in a way.
27:08
And then I'm like, okay, I'm going to spend five hours thinking about myself
27:13
for the next day, which, you know, we don't have to have judgment or shame for
27:16
that, but I love that you're highlighting this, encouraging our listeners to
27:21
start small and having kindness.
27:25
for themselves, even in those small steps.
27:29
And I think that that makes it more sustainable, and gives us longevity as
27:34
well, versus even burning out around personal development, like you've
27:39
talked about, or trying to access our innate self worth and burning out
27:44
because we're spending five hours a day trying to access our self worth.
27:48
So I think that this, this is just a really important takeaway
27:53
as well for our listeners.
27:55
sara: yeah, no, I agree so much.
27:56
I think if you if you just lean into that intention a little bit, just
28:00
say, okay, I'm going to try and take a few steps to Show myself that I'm
28:08
going to be kind, I'm going to fortify my, my self worth a little bit more.
28:14
I'm going to maybe just whatever it may be for you, journal, write it down, share
28:18
it with a friend, something that's coming to my mind that I forgot that I overcame
28:25
and I'm going to celebrate it and I'm going to share that win with someone else.
28:29
You know, it could be as simple as that and you, if you're setting it as
28:33
like an intention and a value, then.
28:36
Rather than trying to muster up a feeling that doesn't necessarily feel
28:40
true, especially if that hasn't been the case for you your whole life, or if
28:44
you're unpacking trauma from the past or anything, it's, it doesn't even have to
28:49
necessarily be this overwhelming feeling.
28:51
It can just be intentions that you set that you're going to try
28:54
and weave these practices into your life a little bit more.
28:58
laura: Sure.
28:58
Absolutely.
28:59
Well, then the goal here too is that it, you know, becomes more habitual and
29:05
I think over time too, you know, our, our, once we start doing something that
29:09
feels good to our nervous systems or feels good to our bodies and hearts and
29:13
minds and soul, hopefully there will be a desire to pursue that even more.
29:17
sara: Yes, absolutely.
29:20
laura: Yeah.
29:21
This has just been lovely chatting with you and I feel like I have,
29:25
you know, definite takeaways to you from today's episode.
29:28
sara: Oh, I'm so glad.
29:29
I've loved talking to you too.
29:31
I think the work that you guys are doing is so great.
29:34
And it is, they're just such important conversations to have, right?
29:38
Because it's just Quieting the noise for a minute and just reminding people
29:44
of who they are and how far they've come and all there is to celebrate
29:49
about what's already within them while they're on this journey of still
29:53
trying to grow and heal and improve.
29:55
You know, it's such a, a great journey to be on.
29:58
And I think it's.
29:59
I think that's brave to want to do the work.
30:01
I think people who want to develop personally or want to do the work of
30:05
healing or recognize something in their self, in themselves that they want to
30:09
grow in, you know, that's brave work.
30:12
But then it's so great to remember too.
30:14
laura: absolutely.
30:15
Absolutely.
30:16
Well, you know, if we think about closing with some homework and an
30:20
affirmation, Sarah, would you like to do one or both of those things?
30:25
sara: Yeah.
30:25
So I guess for homework, just like a little takeaway is maybe
30:29
just like, think of one thing.
30:33
That comes to mind that you are just so proud of yourself for, you know,
30:38
it could be the littlest thing.
30:40
It could be something that to someone else doesn't even sound like a lot, but
30:44
you know what it took for you to do that.
30:47
Just remember it.
30:48
And if you wanted to take it further, you could write it down,
30:51
you could journal it, or even share it with someone that, you know, a
30:55
safe space, someone that you trust.
30:58
And just celebrate that for a minute in the midst of all this noise just
31:02
celebrate one thing that you've already done, that you've already
31:06
overcome, that you feel really proud of, or just something about yourself.
31:09
It could be a strength that you have.
31:12
So yeah, that would be the little homework.
31:14
I think that would be really important.
31:15
And then the other thing so this affirmation, I just shared it on actually
31:20
on my social media, but I, I feel like it's important because again, like I
31:24
said, we're in December and we're just surrounded by noise and, and what I
31:29
call like end of year panic, right?
31:31
Like people are even driving crazy or people are rushing.
31:34
It's, it's just this message of more and more and more.
31:39
And so.
31:40
The affirmation would be, There is nothing I need to do, perform, achieve,
31:47
or succeed at to make me any more worthy than I am right here in this moment.
31:54
laura: So beautiful.
31:55
Thank you.
31:55
Wow.
31:56
Yeah.
31:56
I'm going to cherish that and take that with me today.
32:00
Yeah.
32:00
What a pleasure speaking with you.
32:02
I'm just so grateful for your time and really, really appreciate
32:06
you and your wisdom today.
32:07
Just out of curiosity, is there anything that you would like
32:10
to share with our listeners?
32:11
Any platforms that you're on that you would like to let them know about?
32:15
sara: Oh, thank you.
32:16
It's been great talking with you too.
32:18
I've loved it.
32:18
I feel like we could just talk forever.
32:19
Just go on and on about all of these things.
32:22
Yeah, so my Instagram account is Dear Beautiful Friend.
32:26
So if you want to check out any of these affirmations or you just want
32:29
some encouragement in your feed, then feel free to check that out.
32:34
Another thing is that I have a book of like poetry, prose, and affirmations
32:39
that's available on Amazon and that's called Dear Beautiful Friend.
32:42
A lot of people have said that they've gifted it to friends for the holidays
32:46
or if they know that someone's going through a hard time or they're
32:49
going through a hard time themselves that might be an encouragement too.
32:54
And then I also have just kind of following on from the affirmations, I have
32:59
a free guide that I've created just to get you started in an affirmation practice.
33:04
Just the power of our words and saying some of the statements every day.
33:08
And that, maybe we can link that in the notes too.
33:11
It's also linked in my Instagram account.
33:13
But it's just a, it's self compassion affirmations.
33:17
It's three affirmations a day over seven days.
33:19
It talks a little bit about tips for using the practice of affirmations.
33:24
So that's another just free resource that anyone can download.
33:28
laura: Wow.
33:29
That's incredible.
33:30
Yeah.
33:30
We will absolutely link that in the show notes.
33:32
Thank you for your time, Sarah, and thank you all for being here
33:36
on the Becoming Anchored show.
33:37
Take good care.
33:38
sara: Thank you.
33:40
Thanks.
33:40
Bye.