Latest / The Rockyn YES Podcast - with Dr. Raquel Yarroch / Healing Relationships Starts with Healing Yourself - with Kristen Smith

Transcript

Healing Relationships Starts with Healing Yourself - with Kristen Smith · The Rockyn YES Podcast - with Dr. Raquel Yarroch

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: The Breakthrough Edge.
• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Dr.
• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Raquel and now Media Television.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Be The Breakthrough Edge.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Dr.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: Raquel, and this is where we have conversations that help people reconnect with purpose, healing, emotional clarity, and transformation.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: Today's conversation is for the people who feel disconnected from themselves.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: The people who look like they are functioning externally, but internally feel emotionally exhausted, spiritually drained, overwhelmed, and stuck.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: Because right now, so many people are carrying stress, pressure, emotional burnout, and inner disconnection while trying to keep moving forward without ever slowing down long enough to reconnect with themselves emotionally or spiritually.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: Joining me today is Kristen Smith, founder of Body and Spirit.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: Kristen's work focuses on emotional healing, mind-body, spirit wellness, stress reduction, and helping people reconnect with alignment, peace, and personal purpose.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: What I appreciate about Kristen's approach is that she reminds people healing is not only physical, it's emotional, it's spiritual, and it's deeply connected to the relationship people have with themselves internally.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: Today I want to explore what happens when people stop ignoring emotional exhaustion and begin reconnecting with alignment, with clarity and healing from the inside out.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: Kristen, welcome to Be the Breakthrough Edge.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so excited to be here.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: So, Kristen, what first inspired your passion for emotional and spiritual healing?
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_01: Oh goodness, it's been so I've just always had a really deep faith spiritually, and there was kind of a disconnect with my husband and I for several years.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_01: We actually just sever we just celebrated our 30th anniversary this last year.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_01: Congratulations.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_01: I know it's been so good because I've got four daughters, three of them are married.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_01: I've got three grandkids, and so everybody was here, you know, 10 to 15 of us um last summer when we were celebrating.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_01: And they, I just had to take a moment at that time to like just realize how grateful I was for the joy that I was able to feel through that because it hadn't always been like that.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_01: Um, in our 25-year, you know, 25 to 30 year marriage, there were a lot of years where we had a lot of disconnect and a lot of conflict in our marriage because of the differences in our beliefs.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_01: And it wasn't until I finally realized how to let go of what I was holding on to emotionally because of all the conversations and the things that had happened during those past 25 years that I was able to fully be able to just let go of all the things that I'd been holding on to and learn how to live in the moment and live in the present and through um some physical healing, some emotional healing, and then ultimately, because of letting go of all those emotions, it's been so healing, not just for me personally, but in our relationship.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_01: Our relationship is totally changed and is so good now.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: We've had conversations many times, and that is the one thing that has resonated with me.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's just how much where you guys were at, and then how you completely shifted and took your relationship to a whole new level.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that is so amazing.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: And as far as I know, that's kind of what you like to do with other people, help them transform their relationships, right?
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, that's just your jam.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: It is, it's it's so good.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_01: Like I've been doing so much like social media post.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_01: I like just I like sharing everything that I learned just for anybody in general, but for the clients that I actually coach, like it's so rewarding watching them be able to transform.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, again, personally, in their individual, I mean, and really when it comes down to it, it's a relationship with yourself, right?
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_01: So it's it's amazing how much being able to work on the relationship with yourself and it actually affects the relationships outside of you.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: I 100% agree.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: So here's a question.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like so many people, I'm sure, really want to fix their relationships, but the first thing that we need to figure out is why are so many people feeling emotionally disconnected right now?
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_01: Well, part of the reason is because again, we're holding on to so much stuff.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_01: I think in a culture in general, we're kind of taught that we are supposed to avoid a lot of those emotions, right?
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_01: We consider anger, sadness, hurt, guilt, shame, all those emotions.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_01: We consider them negative or bad emotions.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_01: And so when something happens in our life that causes one of those emotions, I think it's really, really hard for us to understand how to actually let ourselves feel those emotions and let those emotions move through us rather than just try and avoid feeling them.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_01: And when years and years pass and we have all these things happen in our lives that cause those emotions and they just stack on top of each other because we're just pushing them down, it's kind of like a beach ball, right?
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_01: Like you're just push, push, push, push, push, and then all of a sudden we explode.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_01: Like I even just had I had my sister, we talk about this stuff a lot, and she just messaged me a couple days ago and she says, you know, like, why do I get irritated?
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_01: We have a family chat.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_01: I have seven brothers and sisters.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_01: We all we're all in a chat together.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes some of those siblings will like make comments, right, that are just like kind of annoying.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_01: And so my sister was messaging me and she says, you know, like, why do I get irritated so easily?
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, well, I have my theories.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_01: She's like, what?
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_01: And like, and it's exact exactly that, right?
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_01: It's just because we're just it's a human, it's human nature to have irritation sometimes or be bugged with things that other people do.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_01: But because we try to avoid those feelings, we push and push and push and push, and then we get to the point where we're pushing down so many feelings that one little thing just can help make us explode, right?
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: So going off of that, how does the stress and emotional overwhelm affect the mind, body, and spirit together?
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and again, I think I for me, my personal journey in healing started with the physical aspect.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_01: Like I in my career, like I have a I have a 30-year background in education and technology.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_01: And I typically like I would I facilitate um the creation of certification exams and content and that kind of thing.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_01: And so typically I'm sitting in front of this desk.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_01: So I started this, I started my career all more than 30 years ago.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_01: I was 19 years old.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_01: I started by sitting at a desk like this, right?
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember specifically that I had a coworker who was about 10 years older than me, and he lived about 30 miles away from me, and it was on the other side of the mountain, or on yeah, like 30 minutes away from where we worked.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_01: And he would free he was really into fitness and taking care of himself at the time.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_01: And so he would frequently ride his bike from his where he lived to where we worked up over the top of the mountain.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_01: So he would literally ride his bike or run.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember being 19 years old and I had a pretty good metabolism, so I felt fine and I was young, right, at the time.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_01: And so when he would do that, I would, I was like, You're crazy for even trying to run like I could barely run down the street, let alone run over the top of a mountain to work every day.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_01: But he was making fun of me all the time because I was eating at McDonald's and Taco Bell, you know, like my every day for lunch.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_01: And then I had this drawer full of candy that I was snacking on all day long.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_01: And he I remember he was specifically would be like, That stuff's not good for you.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_01: It's not good for you.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_01: But I didn't care.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_01: I was 19 years old.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_01: But then, you know, 20 years later, after I've had four babies and I sat at my desk all day long and I didn't really get a ton of exercise, it really caught up to me.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_01: And I had gained quite a bit of weight.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_01: I knew I had gut issues, my stomach hurt, I had heartburn, um, I had allergies and you know, just tons of inflammation going on in my body.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I just and I was exhausted.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't feel good.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_01: So it was just interesting because when I finally realized that it was taking care of my body that was necessary, and I started getting some of the nutrients in my body, my body reacted in a way that it was like, oh, you're finally taking care of me.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I cut I thinned out, like the some of the inflammation went away, and I automatically just lost some weight.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_01: And really, at first, it just again, it was just a matter of getting some of the nutrients in my body that my body needed, and then I started walking around the neighborhood 15 to 20 minutes a day, right?
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_01: It wasn't even something where I just did a whole bunch of workouts or a whole bunch of dieting or anything like that.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_01: It was literally just paying attention to what I was eating and choosing better things sometimes.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_01: And don't get me wrong, I still like to eat brownies and ice cream sometimes, right?
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_01: But it's like once my body wasn't overwhelmed with all of that stuff all of the time, these bodies we live in are so amazing.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_01: They know how to heal, they know how to get rid of the things that we don't need if we're treating them how they're supposed to.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_01: So for me, it was it was making that step physically to be able to take care of my body.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_01: And then I started doing some mindset work.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_01: I started doing some coaching programs where it was, you know, they were teaching me around your circumstances don't cause your feelings, right?
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_01: It's your thoughts about the circumstances that cause the feelings.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_01: And so that was really helping, especially in the relationship with my husband.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_01: And I felt a shift because I started to notice that it was, it was really my thoughts around what he was saying or doing that was causing me to have my feelings hurt or causing me to be upset or irritated.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so taking those steps was really instrumental in doing that.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_01: But like you were talking, the emotions that I was holding on to, because there was a point I feel like that I would had been doing this work for quite some time and and I felt like I knew that, right?
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_01: I knew that it was my thoughts around what was happening that was was causing the issues, but I didn't know how to change my thoughts.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_01: It was hard to, you know, like because we would get in situations that were very similar, like we were in this pattern of things happening, and so the pattern just kept happening and happening, where you know, he would say something and I would react, and I didn't know how to not react the bad way.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_01: I noticed that I wasn't doing it correctly, but I didn't really know how to change it, and it and it wasn't again until I addressed some of those things that I'd been holding on to for years and being able to get rid of the things that were uprooting, you know, we can't we call them triggers.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but it was like basically being able to be in a similar conversation with without all of the stuff from the past coming up.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: And that's huge.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: I love how you yeah, I mean, that's all huge.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I love how you kind of looked at it like your physical body and how everything was coming through, like the physical symptoms and how you weren't treating your body appropriately.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: So, therefore, that also then overflowed into the emotional part not being correct because all of a sudden you didn't have the emotional stability because your body wasn't being supported.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: So, uh what I appreciate about this conversation is that it reminds people they are not broken, right?
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: You we're able to reconnect and put ourselves back together.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: And many are simply disconnected from themselves emotionally, spiritually, and physically after carrying stress too long.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: And when we come back, I want to go deeper into limiting beliefs, emotional healing, and the patterns that quietly keep people stuck.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: We'll be right back with more insights to help you break through barriers and move forward with confidence.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: And we're back.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Dr.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: Raquel, and this is Be the Breakthrough Edge on Now Media Television.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: Let's continue.
• 12:18
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• 12:26
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• 12:35
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• 12:40
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• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to Be the Breakthrough Edge.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: I'm here with Kristen Smith, a body and spirit.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: And today we're talking about emotional healing, limiting beliefs, self-awareness, and the internal patterns that shape how people experience life emotionally.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: Because for many people, emotional pain is not always obvious on the surface.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: It quietly shows up through stress, fear, burnout, disconnection, people pleasing, and the belief that they must constantly push through life while ignoring what they've actually been feeling.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: Kristen, what are some of the most common emotional patterns you see in people today?
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I think one of the biggest things, especially with the clients that I have, is the really believing that they have the ability to change.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_01: So I think that those are definitely that that comes up for almost everybody.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_01: But unless we actually believe that we can make those changes, then I think those are the things that hold us back.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: Do you ever find that people sometimes don't believe, but then as they start to do their breakthroughs and as they start to heal, they start to believe?
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like sometimes they have to the action starts to almost has to precede that ability.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, absolutely.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_01: Because I think I think when we go through the some of the tools that we practice with, like when I go through and practice with my tool with my clients, they're able to we go back and find the events that are causing those limiting beliefs, right?
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_01: When you can address those things that are causing the limiting belief, which usually is something that happened in the past.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_01: The interesting thing about that is it's not always necessarily something that is coming from within themselves.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes it can be like generic genealogically, you know, something coming from their parents or grandparents, something that was but they're holding on to that isn't even necessarily theirs, which is such an interesting concept.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like I've I've um explained some of that even to my own clients, like learning how like some of this stuff is passed down genealogically and it's stored in our cells, our DNA.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I know it's hard for sometimes people to actually believe that.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I know there was a a study done on mice, and they found that they had this mice go near a certain flower and they would like shock it every time it went near the the um this flower.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: And then five generations down after that mouse had given birth to, you know, many because they replicate so fast.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: The mice, five generations down, anytime they got near that flower, they would jump, even though they weren't being triggered.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_00: And it was all because of what had happened five generations prior.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: They realized it this continue keeps on.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like we want to clear that because we don't want our future kids and grandkids to still have these issues.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: We've got to clear these things, right?
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, for sure.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_01: It's just like um it's like it's again, it's a pattern that's been holding that has been happening in a in a family for years and years, especially around like we talk a lot about money mindset, um, the way that your parents, you know, like if you're if our grandparents grew up in poverty and they had a hard time with addressing money and scarcity, and they had had a real scarcity mindset, then that is automatically passed on to their kids when they're teaching that.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_01: And I mean, that is something that I've even had to work through myself.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I feel like I had a really good childhood, right?
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_01: My I had wonderful parents.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_01: They had they taught me good, they did pretty good taking, you know, they did really good taking care of me, but they still like it was even just a time period where they didn't have a lot of things.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_01: They provided for us really well and we had everything we needed, but there was still a really interesting scarcity mindset.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_01: And that's been something that I've had to work through with me personally.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: And right, and yeah, and those are our limiting beliefs, those are things that we actually believe in, like almost like 100% of the time, you know, like money doesn't grow on trees, right?
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_00: So, how do limiting beliefs begin shaping the emotional well-being of a person?
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_01: Well, it's interesting because I think it has a lot to do just with what we're focused on, right?
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_01: Are when we're if we're focused on what we want in life or in in any area of life, right?
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_01: Versus are we focused on what we don't want?
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_01: And it's interesting because I had an experience around this.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_01: Um, it was actually in one of my coaching retreats when I was getting certified that we went on a hike one day during one of the retreats, and we were about 45 minutes into this hike, and we were getting to the point where we come up to this lake.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_01: And all of a sudden, one of the one of the ladies that we were with commented on the fact that she's like pointed to the other side of the lake, and she's like, That's the cliff we're gonna jump off of.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, wait, what?
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I had totally missed the memo that morning about jumping off a lake into let alone into a cold body of water, and I do not like being cold.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_01: I had not worn a swimsuit or anything underneath my clothes because I didn't realize that's what we were gonna be doing, and it was it was like a nice day, but for hiking.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_01: But to jump in a cold lake was not, I was not excited about that.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_01: And so from the second that she said that, my mind was focused on the fact that I was gonna be cold and I could literally feel the goosebumps on my body, I was shivering.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_01: We continued to walk around to the other side of the lake to get to that part where they were gonna jump off the cliff.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_01: And as we were, we'd been working on some of this stuff, like learning about focus, what where our focus was.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_01: So, what I did, I automatically I was like, okay, I'm gonna reframe my thoughts, I'm gonna focus on something else.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_01: And so I literally started to chant in my head, and I would say, My heart is warm, my body's warm, my soul is warm.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_01: And it's interesting because do you know what happened?
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_01: You got warm.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_01: I could literally feel the sun come down on my skin, right?
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_01: And my body felt warm.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_01: But then I would look across the lake and I would see the cliff, and then I'd all of a sudden and I would bounce back to, oh, but I don't want to be cold, and then I would shiver and I would get the goosebumps.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_01: So I like continued this process all the way around the lake, like back and forth.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_01: I would be like, My heart is warm, my body's warm, my soul is warm, and then I'd feel the warmth on my skin, and then I'd look again at the lake, and I'd be like, Oh no, but I don't want to be cold.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_01: And I continued that process all the way around the lake, and it's just so interesting because it made me realize.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, that's a really simple example, but it made me realize that literally what we focus on is what we manifest in our life.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_00: And did you know that no, that the possibilities are endless if we focus on the right things?
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_00: I totally agree, and it's just always about what's the next right step, right?
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_01: So it's really just about like, and that's the first step in this whole process is just being aware of what we're focusing on, paying attention to what we're focusing on.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_01: And again, this can happen in any area of life.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_01: So in health, right?
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_01: Am I focusing on?
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_01: I had another example where I was at the gym and I had just started doing, I I I've decided I like strength training.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not a huge fan of cardio stuff, running and all that kind of stuff is not my favorite, but I I do like lifting weights.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_01: So I've been going to the gym and I'm at the gym and we're doing, you know, following this program that the coach there is teaching us through.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_01: And I it's hard, right?
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_00: I can't imagine it's easy.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_00: You got a coach, and they're gonna push you, right?
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, a coach does say that.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm literally saying out loud to the person next to me, like, this is killing me.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_01: And then I notice what I'm saying, right?
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, oh my gosh, what am I what is my subconscious going to be focused on if I'm telling it that it's killing me, right?
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_01: I tell the I tell the girl like next to me, I'm like, oh, I'm learning, I've been learning about this and I need to focus on something positive instead of focusing on it killing me.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_01: So I started telling myself, this is making me stronger, this is making me stronger, this is making me stronger.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_01: And it's funny because like two weeks later, one of the girls came up to me and she says, Are you doing that thing that we were talking about where you've changed your mindset and what you were saying?
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, Yeah.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_01: And she goes, I totally can tell you're showing up different.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_02: That's so that's really nice, right?
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 21:14
  unknown: Wow.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_01: So that's the so just paying attention to the words that we're using inside our head and out loud makes such a huge difference.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and yeah, and that creates that emotional healing that affects you physically and spiritually, right?
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_00: So what role does self-compassion play in all of this in this transformation?
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_00: Because you were giving yourself quite a bit of self-compassion and willing to try something new.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh, yes.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_01: You there has to be self-compassion because even when there's an awareness of what, you know, like, yeah, you can spend all this time learning about this and knowing that you're supposed to do it, like I said before earlier, right?
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_01: Like I I learned about it, but I didn't really know how to change it.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I went through the process and I've been able to release a lot of things.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: So there is an awareness now, specifically in the conversations that I have with my husband.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_01: Like I said, we are doing so good.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_01: Like I actually am in a place where I love being with him and I love having conversations with him, but we still don't think the same, right?
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_01: And that is a good point.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_01: Even now in our conversations where we're talking about things, specifically religion, because like I said, we've got a lot of differences in beliefs.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_01: And and sometimes his opinion on things I don't understand.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_01: Like it makes no sense to my brain.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_01: But and sometimes if I'm tired or I'm hungry, or you know, like that still all comes into play.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_01: And so sometimes I still don't react the right way.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_01: But there's an awareness around it that's different than there than it was five years ago in our conversations, where I notice that I'm not reacting in the right way, and sometimes I choose to just still not react the right way, but yet there are so many times now where I notice that I'm not reacting or I'm not saying things, or things that come out of my mouth came out in a different tone, in a tone that maybe wasn't the nicest.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_01: And because I notice it, I am able to kind of backtrack a little bit and apologize and actually be able to take the conversation in a different direction.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_01: Where before that that was never happening, right?
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_01: But there's still times, like I said, I do have to have compassion with myself because sometimes I'm still like, ooh, that didn't sound great, but I'm tired and I don't want to say it different.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_00: So uh what have you noticed that begins changing when people become more emotionally honest with themselves?
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_01: Well, there's definitely more, there's more change and more transformation.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_01: When somebody can really, really be vulnerable with specifically with themselves, um the transformation can be huge.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_00: That's amazing.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_00: And you have given us so many huge thanks.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_00: So this conversation is such a powerful reminder that healing often begins with awareness.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_00: And when we return, I want to talk about emotional burnout, self-worth, and what it means to rebuild a healthier relationship with ourselves emotionally.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_00: We'll be right back with more insights to help you break through barriers and move forward with confidence.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_00: And we're back.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Dr.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_00: Raquel, and this is Be the Breakthrough Edge on non-media television.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_00: Let's continue.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to Be the Breakthrough Edge.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Dr.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_00: Raquel, and today I'm speaking with Kristen Smith about emotional burnout, self-worth, and why so many people disconnect from themselves emotionally while trying to keep functioning for everyone else.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_00: Because for many people, emotional exhaustion becomes normalized.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_00: People become the caretaker, the helper, the strong one.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_00: And over time, they stop listening to their own emotional needs completely.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_00: Kristen, why do so many people struggle to prioritize themselves emotionally?
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_01: Well, interesting enough, they're like most a lot of us are people pleasers.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_01: And you guys, you could probably relate to that.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_01: Oh god, yeah.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_01: So, right?
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_01: People pleasing is a real thing.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's hard for people to understand how to take care of themselves, especially in a culture.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_01: Again, it comes back to like the way that we were raised and the things that that happened in our in our younger lives and what we've learned, right?
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_01: But a lot of times, especially as a mother, right?
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_01: Um, as a parent, when you are constantly taking care of other people, it sometimes there's just no time, right?
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes it's hard to even just make time to take care of yourself.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_01: Correct.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_00: Correct.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 26:00
  unknown: Yeah.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_00: So how do they create that time for themselves?
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_00: What would you suggest?
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_00: How would they do that?
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_00: How do they prioritize themselves?
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_00: What would you suggest?
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I think it's the concept.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's the concept of like like when you're on an airplane, right?
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_01: And the the stewardess is telling you about the lifeline and the the oxygen master, right?
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_01: The concept is that you have to take care of yourself first in order to be able to take care of everyone else.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that that's really true.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_01: Again, I think it's really hard for us, especially as moms, to prioritize time to take care of ourselves.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_01: But it's so important, right?
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I recently, and this is easy, it's a little bit easier for me now because my four daughters are all adults, but even now, like I keep myself busy with work and coaching and and all enough things, right?
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_01: That it's still sometimes it's really, really hard to get up and and exercise and take care of my body.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_01: And eating is always a hard thing for me, right?
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_01: Again, because I'm sitting at this desk all day long.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_01: And so to actually get myself up to eat lunch and to eat breakfast and actually eat, I would go all day without eating if if I didn't prioritize it.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_01: I totally hear that all the time.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_01: I'm starving and then I just eat junk because it's quick.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_01: I can just quickly get a bag of chips or chip crackers or something, right?
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and so I so in order to prioritize that, I personally had to specifically schedule it in my in my time.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, that's so smart, yes.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, even now I have to and I and I love the book.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_01: Um, actually, I can't even remember what the name of the book is, but he talks about habit stacking.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um I know what you're talking about.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_00: Well, we'll we'll we'll it'll pop into our head in a second.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_00: Uh sure, sure, sure.
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_01: I can't believe it's a little bit more than a lot of the power of habit.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_00: Is that the power of habit?
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_00: The power of habit?
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, yeah.
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_00: Something like that.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 27:57
  unknown: Yeah.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_00: Oh.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's like a yellow book with like a hamster wheel and stuff.
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_01: I kind of utilize that a little bit because like I I was doing pretty good at getting up and going to the gym in the mornings, but I am so not good at like meditating and just taking the time to breathe and slowing down.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_01: The slowing down part has always been a hard thing for me.
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_01: So I don't know if you can relate to that.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_01: But so what I've started to do is because I was already, I already had a little bit of a habit of getting up and going to the gym.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_01: So what I did is I took I put some of my um some of the books and things that I like to study in my car.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_01: And I've started when I go to the gym, I I do it in my car before I leave the gym parking lot because the second that I get home, like I'm distracted with a million different things.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_01: That is well.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I love that.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_00: That's a great idea.
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_00: Just take your books with you, put it in your car so that way as soon as you get out of the gym, you just take that moment in your car by yourself without, you know, the kids and the husband and everybody else demanding time from you, and you just take time for yourself.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_00: So, how does this gotta lead into emotional burnout because when people don't take care of themselves, they get into an emotional burnout, right?
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_00: So, how does emotional burnout affect confidence and self-worth?
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_01: Well, your nervous system plays a huge part, and again, this goes back to like the physical aspect of it, right?
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_01: Like we don't even realize how much of that stuff is being held on inside of our nervous system and inside of our body.
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_01: So sometimes it's the it's just because we haven't taken care of ourselves for so long.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_01: And again, it's you have the physical aspect, the emotional aspect, and the mindset aspect, all three of those have to be balanced.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_01: And when they're balanced, then you don't react and you don't burn out like you used to.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_01: So and again, it's so simple.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_01: It it it seems like it's hard because it like almost makes it seem like there's like so many things that you have to do.
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_01: But really, like if you take the five to 10 to 15 minutes a day to focus on the stillness and the meditation and the breathing, it balances out your whole body physically so that when things do happen during the day, you're not already overwhelmed.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_01: Does that make sense?
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_00: And you know what I find is that like when people are busy, they often have guilt if they want to take time for themselves.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_00: So why do people often feel guilty when they're focusing on their own healing or their own time, or to take that time to heal or recover, or just to mentally prepare themselves?
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and again, I think the guilt, the guilt is a is a funny one because it it I think it does come from the way that we were taught, right?
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_01: The things that, and and it can come from many different areas, the culture, the religion, the um family thing, the things that we were taught in a family.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_01: But and again, when we're holding on to a bunch of different things that have happened all over our life, then the guilt just piles on top of each other, right?
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_01: And so I found with myself and with a lot of the clients that I work with that we've been able to go back and we've been able to clear out the guilt that's been stored inside my nervous system for decades.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_01: And once we were able to address that and really let it go, then it's it's it's really it's interesting because it's again like life is life and things come up and things are gonna come up, and and I'm still not gonna always make the right choices, just like I was saying before, right?
• 31:33
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes I don't always react in the right way.
• 31:36
  SPEAKER_01: But now, because it's not just one thing being piled on top of another thing on top of another thing, I get to react and I get to feel the emotion based off of the thing that's happening now.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, because based off of the things that had been happening in the past, right?
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_01: Right okay.
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_01: Because scientifically, did you know that scientifically, when something happens in your life, the emotion, it'll come up in about six seconds in our body.
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_01: And if we let our body feel that specific emotion and let it move and really, really pay attention to how it feels in our body.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, there's different ways that you can do that.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_01: You can give it a name, you can pay, you know, like notice like, is it making my heart warm?
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_01: Is it making my shoulders tense?
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_01: Is it making, you know, like pay attention to what it's doing in your body?
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_01: It will literally move through through your body in about 90 seconds, and then it's gone, and then you don't have to hold on to it anymore.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_01: And that happens with any emotion.
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_01: So the example that I was giving before, right?
• 32:41
  SPEAKER_01: Like sometimes I'm still having if I have I'm in the middle of a conversation with my husband and he brings up something that I don't agree with, and I feel irritated or I don't understand why he's saying that, and he's not backing down, right?
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_01: Like we're not being able to come to a compromise.
• 32:57
  SPEAKER_01: If I snap at him, then the next feeling for me is that I feel bad because that there's there is an awareness that I know that I'm snapping at him and I shouldn't be snapping at him.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_01: But being able to like be aware of that and then actually just be like, okay, I reacted the wrong way, I maybe should have done it differently, and then I can decide whether I want to change the reaction and apologize, or if I just want to be stubborn, whatever, you know, but I can actually feel it and move through that in the moment.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_01: And again, in 90 seconds, I'm gone.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_01: I it's gone, and you don't have to deal with it anymore.
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_01: And there have been lots of situations with my husband and I where this has happened, and I've chose to just take the 90 seconds to breathe and be irritated and not understand and and realize that he thinks different than I do, and then we can come back to the conversation and we work it out.
• 33:53
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, actually, like two weeks ago we had a disagreement and it was something similar to that, but I don't even remember what we were arguing about.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, that's progress for me, right?
• 34:02
  SPEAKER_01: Because that is very huge ago.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_01: We have an argument, and I was still for 10 years, I was like, but you said this, but you said that.
• 34:11
  SPEAKER_00: And thank gosh you learned to let it go.
• 34:13
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm kind of curious if we took like uh like 90 seconds and we just walked people through this right now in real time.
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_00: So why don't you lead us in a quick 90 second?
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_00: Let's let's do that.
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_00: Let's do this emotional safety, let's let's connect into ourselves and do that.
• 34:29
  SPEAKER_00: You want to do it?
• 34:30
  SPEAKER_01: Sure, sure.
• 34:31
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, all right, go for it, girl.
• 34:33
  SPEAKER_01: What what emotion should we work with?
• 34:35
  SPEAKER_00: Well, we were talking about guilt, so why don't we just go from the guilt?
• 34:40
  unknown: Okay.
• 34:41
  SPEAKER_01: So let's say let's say something happens and you make you do something that you don't feel like you did in the right way, and you notice that you didn't do it in the right way, and you wish you would have done it differently.
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_00: Perfect.
• 34:59
  SPEAKER_01: So basically, what you would want to do is you would want to take just take it feels a certain way in your body, right?
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_01: So when I feel when I feel guilt like that, for example, one guilt, one thing that kind of goes through my mind sometimes is like I've made a lot of progress these last couple of years on all of this, like transformation, right?
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes I do feel a little bit guilty that I didn't figure it out sooner.
• 35:26
  SPEAKER_01: Like sometimes I wish my kids, you know, like when my kids were younger and for 20 years I was mad at my husband, right?
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_01: Like I wish I would have figured it out sooner.
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_01: So there's a little bit of guilt that that happens there, right?
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_00: And then that's about forgiving yourself because you were in the exact right spot you were supposed to be, because that was part of the role you guys were playing, right?
• 35:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 35:51
  SPEAKER_01: So I think about how that guilt feels.
• 35:53
  SPEAKER_01: If I think about how that guilt feels, there's a little bit of tightness in my chest, there's a little bit of regret, right?
• 35:59
  SPEAKER_01: It makes me feel so it's just paying attention to actually how it feels in my body.
• 36:05
  SPEAKER_01: And then if I just breathe through it and and also have those, you know, understanding thoughts, like working through it in my mind.
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_01: Like if I this is the path that it was for me, and I wouldn't be the person that I am now if I hadn't have gone through those things that they were.
• 36:23
  SPEAKER_01: And my girls are older now, they're noticing the difference in me, right?
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_01: Whereas if I would have figured it out when they were younger, they wouldn't know any different, and then they're gonna go through similar things anyways.
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_01: So hopefully they're also learning from me, right?
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_01: Right, right.
• 36:38
  SPEAKER_01: That that now feels a lot better to me, right?
• 36:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 36:42
  SPEAKER_00: So what I love about this conversation is that it reminds people healing is not selfish, healing is necessary.
• 36:48
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 36:49
  SPEAKER_00: And when we come back, I want to close this conversation by helping viewers understand the sustainable emotional and spiritual wellness can actually look like moving forward.
• 36:59
  SPEAKER_00: We'll be right back with more insights to help you break through barriers and move forward with confidence.
• 37:05
  SPEAKER_00: And we're back.
• 37:06
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Dr.
• 37:06
  SPEAKER_00: Raquel, and this is Be the Breakthrough Edge on Now Media Television.
• 37:11
  SPEAKER_00: Let's continue.
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_00: Stay connected with Bee The Breakthrough Edge and every Now Media TV favorite, live or on demand, anytime you like.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_00: Download the free Now Media TV app on Roku or IOS and unlock nonstop bilingual programming in English and Spanish.
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_00: On the move, catch the podcast version at www.nowmedia.tv.
• 37:34
  SPEAKER_00: From business and news to lifestyle, culture, and beyond, Now Media TV is streaming around the clock, ready whenever you are.
• 37:43
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to Be The Breakthrough Edge.
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_00: I'm closing today's amazing conversation with Kristen Smith.
• 37:50
  SPEAKER_00: And what I hope viewers are beginning to realize is this healing is not about becoming someone different.
• 37:56
  SPEAKER_00: It's about reconnecting with who you truly are underneath the stress, the pressure, burnout, and emotional exhaustion.
• 38:05
  SPEAKER_00: And alignment becomes possible when people stop abandoning themselves emotionally and begin listening inward again.
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_00: So, Kristen, what does emotional and spiritual alignment actually look like in real life?
• 38:21
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I love this question because for me, um, I spent a lot of years, like I've mentioned a little bit earlier, right?
• 38:29
  SPEAKER_01: Like I've I have a 30-year career in technology, so I was busy with work.
• 38:35
  SPEAKER_01: I have um I was constantly adding to my to-do list faster than I could take off, take things off of my to-do list, right?
• 38:44
  SPEAKER_01: I was constantly telling everybody I was busy, telling myself I was busy, and I was.
• 38:49
  SPEAKER_01: And from the outside, looking in, I don't think most people knew how bad I was struggling, but I was struggling physically, I was struggling emotionally, I was even struggling spiritually.
• 39:00
  SPEAKER_01: And there were a lot of days during those years where I would find myself just curled up in a ball in my closet, and I was crying and I would cry and I would pray.
• 39:10
  SPEAKER_01: And specifically, you know, like there was a lot of differences with my husband between my husband and I, and I would just pray that he would change.
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_01: And and I didn't realize that really the change began with me.
• 39:24
  SPEAKER_01: And there was one day specifically that I found myself crying in the closet.
• 39:28
  SPEAKER_01: I think we had had an argument the night before, and I found myself crying, and I was praying again that he would change because you know, I mean, a lot of you can relate that uh the person you're in the relationship with is the one that needs to change, right?
• 39:41
  SPEAKER_01: Like I'm not doing everything that I feel like I should.
• 39:43
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_01: But I specifically remember a small, distinct voice in my head that said, You're praying for the wrong miracle.
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_01: Because I was I knew that a miracle would happen someday, but and I thought the miracle was him changing, but I heard that voice in my head that said, You're praying for the wrong miracle, and I knew at that time exactly what that meant.
• 40:05
  SPEAKER_01: And that was that it was me that needed to work on myself, and I needed to work on changing and paying attention to the things that I had control of, right?
• 40:17
  SPEAKER_01: Because you don't have control of what anybody else does or how anybody else feels.
• 40:21
  SPEAKER_01: The only thing you have control of is yourself, and so I knew in that moment that it was more about me loving my husband because he's pretty amazing, he's doing all the things he is, he's pretty, he's a real, he's a really amazing guy.
• 40:37
  SPEAKER_01: I just wasn't focused on the right things, and I knew that I needed to love him for who he is and not expecting him to change or be different and work on the things that I could control.
• 40:51
  SPEAKER_01: And by doing that and tr and just starting again a little bit of a time at a time, I started to physically take care of myself and I worked on my mindset around focusing on what I want.
• 41:04
  SPEAKER_01: So there's like there's three main things that changed for me.
• 41:08
  SPEAKER_01: I started focusing on what I want instead of what I didn't want and paying attention to the words that I was using.
• 41:14
  SPEAKER_01: And then the second thing that I realized was, and we talked about this a little bit, but we we all we don't all think the same, right?
• 41:23
  SPEAKER_01: We all think differently.
• 41:24
  SPEAKER_01: Um, it actually brings up another example that I thought was really funny.
• 41:28
  SPEAKER_01: Um, my husband and I actually spent a couple of years building the house that we live in right now.
• 41:33
  SPEAKER_01: And we've we've lived here about three years now, but we had lived here for about a year when we we moved in with a whole bunch of projects that had still not been finished.
• 41:43
  SPEAKER_01: Like our master shower wasn't done yet.
• 41:46
  SPEAKER_01: So we were still showering in the bathroom on the other side of our house for about a year.
• 41:51
  SPEAKER_01: And it was a smaller bathroom, so we bought one of those shower caddies that goes on the side of the bathtub, right?
• 41:56
  SPEAKER_01: That you hang up it, that you put all your shampoo and everything in.
• 42:00
  SPEAKER_01: And on the side, well, that shower caddy had two little hooks on it.
• 42:05
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and they were, you know, two little hooks like this.
• 42:08
  SPEAKER_01: And every time I would shower, I would take a razor and I would try to hang the razor on one of those little hooks.
• 42:14
  SPEAKER_01: Well, the razor had just a little triangle hole in it, so it didn't fit on the square hook very good, and I would just have to balance it on the hook.
• 42:22
  SPEAKER_01: And interesting enough, again, about an about a year.
• 42:26
  SPEAKER_01: We had lived there for about a year, and I had been doing that for a year.
• 42:30
  SPEAKER_01: And I get in the shower one day, and on the two hooks, I don't know if you can see me in this.
• 42:34
  SPEAKER_01: Let's see if I can figure it out.
• 42:36
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, the two hooks, the the razor is sitting the other direction, so it's like laying horizontally on the two hooks instead of me, instead of hanging the way that I was trying to hang it.
• 42:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 42:48
  SPEAKER_01: And looked, I looked at it at that point.
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_01: Obviously, it had fallen on the ground.
• 42:52
  SPEAKER_01: My husband probably got into shower, he picked it up, he just set it on there the weight, and I would I looked at the and I was like, that's probably how you're supposed to do it.
• 43:01
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 43:02
  SPEAKER_01: There's always more than one way of doing things, right?
• 43:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I had been doing it this way for a year, and to tell you the truth, like, I don't think I would have ever even thought about it being a different way.
• 43:14
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I would have continued to do it this wrong, difficult way for the rest of my life and not even considered that there was a better way to do it.
• 43:21
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 43:21
  SPEAKER_01: And then it and it was at that point that I was like, realized that my husband thinking different than I do is designed, right?
• 43:31
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's supposed to be that way.
• 43:33
  SPEAKER_01: And we were attracted to each other because we're opposite, you know, we always hear the terminology opposites attract, right?
• 43:39
  SPEAKER_01: But all of those years, I was trying to make him like me.
• 43:43
  SPEAKER_01: Like I thought you're supposed to think like me, you're supposed to do it like me.
• 43:48
  SPEAKER_01: And it was frustrating to me that he wasn't doing it like I was doing it.
• 43:52
  SPEAKER_01: But yet, that in that moment, I realized that he thinks different, and that's a good thing.
• 43:59
  SPEAKER_01: Like, how many Other times were we having conversations or arguments, or was he doing suggesting things that I was so adamant, adamant about the way that I was doing it being the right way and the only way, and that his way wasn't correct, that I wasn't even giving him the space to really even explain to me what he was doing, right?
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_01: Like right.
• 44:23
  SPEAKER_01: So our conversations had, and that's the reason our conversations had so much conflict.
• 44:27
  SPEAKER_01: So when I realized that and I started to like be patient and actually listen to what he was saying and and try to learn from him instead of trying to get him to be like me, the dynamic and the pattern in our relationship shifted so much.
• 44:44
  SPEAKER_01: And it hasn't been just with him either.
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_01: Like I keep giving my these examples of me and my husband, but the dynamic in a lot of the relationships around me, because I have taken the time to work on myself and understand that everybody else is different, it has it has tremendously healed and strengthened relationships with the people around me.
• 45:08
  SPEAKER_01: And so that was the second thing that I that I realized was everybody thinks differently.
• 45:13
  SPEAKER_01: And then the third thing was nourishing and taking care of my body, right?
• 45:17
  SPEAKER_01: So what starting to actually listen to what my body was trying to tell me.
• 45:23
  SPEAKER_00: That's huge.
• 45:24
  SPEAKER_00: So uh what role does mindfulness and emotional awareness play in long-term wellness?
• 45:30
  SPEAKER_00: Since you're kind of going off on that for the next part, what what do you think that is or what that role is?
• 45:37
  SPEAKER_01: Well, long term, um, I think if you can just once that awareness is there and you realize and you actually really start paying attention to what you're paying attention to, that's when the pattern shifts.
• 45:51
  SPEAKER_01: The pattern in your own life, in your own relationship, and the pattern between you and other people around you.
• 45:57
  SPEAKER_01: And long term, I mean, it's really about just adjusting the path, right?
• 46:02
  SPEAKER_01: Like, so if you take, if you take into consideration when you get in an airplane from like if you're gonna take a plane ride from Los Angeles to New York, right?
• 46:12
  SPEAKER_01: I don't, it's not a straight, like we we kind of look at it like it's like the plane's just automatically gonna go straight to that new place.
• 46:20
  SPEAKER_01: But really, if you were to talk to somebody who's flying that plane, the wind and there's like so many factors that start to push the plane out of so that it's going in a different direction, and they have to just constantly recorrect in order to get back on the right path.
• 46:36
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that if we look at it that way with life and give ourselves, that things are always gonna take go off course a little bit, right?
• 46:46
  SPEAKER_01: Things are gonna uproot within us, and we might get off course on the direction and the things that we want to do in life.
• 46:52
  SPEAKER_01: But if we just realize and give ourselves compassion that all we have to do is just sit, sit back, breathe, pay attention to what's happening around us and the words that we're using, and just recorrect when it's not going the way that we want it to go, it's really that simple.
• 47:09
  SPEAKER_00: That's amazing.
• 47:10
  SPEAKER_00: So, what would you say directly to the person watching right now who feels emotionally disconnected and overwhelmed, or maybe not connecting with maybe their significant other or their children or their parents, or you know, just having relationship type issues?
• 47:25
  SPEAKER_00: What would you say to that person right now?
• 47:29
  SPEAKER_01: Well, if they're overwhelmed enough that they're having a hard time figuring out on their own, I would definitely say reach out to somebody that can help because it makes a huge difference to have somebody be able to help you walk through these things and be an accountability, somebody who holds you accountable to doing the things that you need to do in order to get to a place like this.
• 47:52
  SPEAKER_01: Because I don't think it would, I don't think I would have been able to get to this place on my own.
• 47:56
  SPEAKER_01: I had coaches, I had, I mean, friends who helped walk me through some of these things.
• 48:03
  SPEAKER_01: And there are some things that I feel like I can do on my own, but I think I was to a point, and a lot of the clients that I work with, they know that they need to change and they know that they want their life to be different, but they're having a hard time doing it themselves.
• 48:16
  SPEAKER_01: So I would definitely say reach out to somebody who can help.
• 48:21
  SPEAKER_00: That's perfect.
• 48:22
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's a great idea because we can't do this alone.
• 48:24
  SPEAKER_00: We're we're a tribe, we're a family, we're a whole system.
• 48:28
  SPEAKER_00: We weren't meant to be left alone to our own actions, even though everything is inside of us, but you need that coach to help you bring that out in you, correct?
• 48:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, absolutely.
• 48:39
  unknown: Yeah.
• 48:40
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that it's um being able to be like I think we talked about this a little bit earlier, but being able to be vulnerable with someone else.
• 48:50
  SPEAKER_01: Um, there's also a power in being able to speak things out loud, right?
• 48:54
  SPEAKER_01: Being able to say things out loud and actually that actually does help release some of the emotion from your body in order to say it out loud to another person.
• 49:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 49:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 49:04
  SPEAKER_00: So, Kristen, for the viewers who want to continue learning from you and connect with body and spirit, where can they find you online?
• 49:12
  SPEAKER_00: So my website is bodyandspiritcoaching.com.
• 49:15
  SPEAKER_01: And then I also I'm on social media.
• 49:18
  SPEAKER_01: So I have a Facebook.
• 49:19
  SPEAKER_01: Um, my Facebook is actually healthy underscore Kristen.
• 49:22
  SPEAKER_01: And then I have an Instagram that is um body and spirit dot yeah, body dot and dot spirit on Instagram.
• 49:30
  SPEAKER_01: And yeah, I I love I social media is fun to me.
• 49:34
  SPEAKER_01: So I share a lot of things on social media and I like teaching people what I've learned.
• 49:37
  SPEAKER_00: So you have some amazing posts on social media, and I love how you kind of play around with your husband and kind of play out your scenarios, and it's they're fun to watch.
• 49:46
  SPEAKER_00: Everyone will love watching your uh little reels that you put out or your posts.
• 49:51
  SPEAKER_00: I like them anyways.
• 49:52
  SPEAKER_01: So, Kristen, as he'll say he says, I don't want to be on social media, and I'm like, too late, dude.
• 49:58
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 49:59
  SPEAKER_00: You're already there.
• 50:01
  SPEAKER_00: So, Kristen, thank you for bringing your heart, wisdom, and calming presence to this conversation.
• 50:06
  SPEAKER_00: Today we explored emotional healing, spiritual burnout, limiting beliefs, self-worth, emotional alignment, and what it means to reconnect with ourselves mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
• 50:19
  SPEAKER_00: And to everyone watching, I want you to remember this.
• 50:22
  SPEAKER_00: You do not have to stay disconnected from yourself forever.
• 50:25
  SPEAKER_00: Healing begins the moment you become willing to slow down, listen inward, and reconnect with who you truly are.
• 50:33
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Dr.
• 50:34
  SPEAKER_00: Raquel, and this is Be the Breakthrough Edge.
• 50:37
  SPEAKER_00: Don't wait for the breakthrough, become the breakthrough.