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Finding Your Confidence: How to Manage Performance Anxiety · The Music Mind & Heart Podcast | Exploring Music & Wellbeing

• 0:00
  > Andre>Hi, everyone. Welcome to another episode of Music Mind and Heart. in today's session, we're going to be exploring the hot topic of performance anxiety, which is something that anyone who has ever stood in front of a crowd, whether it be to sing or perform a speech, has probably encountered. We're going to be discussing how to find your confidence by really understanding exactly what performance anxiety is and learning how to tame our nerves and develop strategies that can help us become more comfortable with being seen, heard, and evaluated by others. So let's get to it now. Have you ever stood in front of an audience ready to perform, give a presentation at work, or speak in public, and suddenly it felt, uh, as though your body had forgotten everything your mind knew? Perhaps your heart started racing, your hands became sweaty, your mouth felt dry? Maybe you started questioning yourselves. What if I forget the words? What if I hit the wrong note? What if nobody likes this, presentation? What if they judge me? Sometimes the hardest part isn't even what happens when you get on the stage. It's what happens in our minds before we get there. We start to think about everything that could go wrong. We rehearse our mistakes before we've even made any. And during that process, something that we should be excited about becomes, something that we're afraid to do.
• 1:47
  > Andre>So if you've ever experienced that feeling, this episode is for you. And this isn't just a conversation for musicians. Whether you're a singer preparing for a performance, a teacher addressing a classroom, a professional delivering a presentation, a student giving a speech, or just someone who wants to share their ideas with the world confidently, there's something here for you.
• 2:14
  > Andre>Because the idea that I want us to explore today is that confidence isn't necessarily the absence of fear. Sometimes confidence is learning that you can do something meaningful even when you're afraid. So get comfortable and let's explore how we can find our confidence.
• 2:35
  > Andre>Now, the first thing that I would like us to do is to get a really good, good grounded understanding of what exactly performance anxiety is.
• 2:45
  > Andre>Oftentimes, understanding the phenomena that is occurring takes a lot of the power away from it and helps us to approach it rationally and then be able to figure out the best way to deal with it.
• 3:01
  > Andre>So performance anxiety is defined in psychological research as the combination of thoughts, feelings, and physical reactions that can occur when we anticipate having to perform in front of other people. Now, for musicians, it might more aptly be called music performance anxiety. For someone giving a speech, it might be public speaking anxiety. But the common thread running through these experiences is that we know we're going to be evaluated by other people. And we're concerned about how that evaluation might affect us. We might be afraid of making a mistake, embarrassing ourselves, disappointing someone, or discovering that we're not really as capable as we thought we were. And our bodies can respond as though we're facing a threat. Our heart rate increases, Our breathing might change. Muscles might become tense. We might experience trembling, sweating, or difficulty concentrating. But here's the interesting part. These reactions aren't necessarily evidence that we are unprepared or incapable. They're part of our body's response to a situation that it considers important. Our nervous system is mobilizing resources because something matters to us. And the challenge, though, is that this heightened arousal can sometimes interfere with the very skills that we need to perform well. For example, a singer might struggle to control their breathing. Their throat might feel really dry. a guitarist might find that their fingers are less responsive or less nimble.
• 4:50
  > Andre>someone delivering a presentation might speak too quickly or lose their train of thought. And when we notice these symptoms, we become anxious about being anxious. We feel our heart racing and think, I'm losing control. We notice our hands shaking and think, everyone is going to see that I'm nervous. And those thoughts can make the experience even more difficult. Almost kind of like a domino effect.
• 5:20
  > Andre>now one interesting observation that I've made about my own experiences, performing in front of an audience or speaking in front of a crowd, is that when I was younger, when I was a child, it really didn't matter as much. I was ready to sing in front of anyone, wherever, however, when I became a teenager. Then all of those intrusive thoughts started to appear a lot more frequently.
• 5:53
  > Andre>And it felt as though the stakes were raised in terms of performing in front of people. I suppose we can attribute that to the cognitive development and the self awareness that happens when we transition from childhood to being a teenager.
• 6:15
  > Andre>Oftentimes that comes with a lot more emphasis on how we fit into the social group and how our peers perceive us. I know that there are some children that get nervous on stage as well. so it isn't necessarily an observation that I would say rings true to everyone. But I think what's important to take away from it is that we're all human beings and nobody is perfect. There are people that are naturally gifted when it comes to, presenting in front of others. But there's also a lot to be said for technique and skill practice and being patient with yourself.
• 7:04
  > Andre>Another Important thing to note, according to the research done by music psychologist Diana Kenney, is that performance anxiety isn't simply a matter of lacking talent or not practicing enough, as it can affect experienced and accomplished performers too. So on the flip side of things, you might be an accomplished pianist, an accomplished, performer, an accomplished speaker, and then for whatever reason, you develop some anxiety about performing on stage. So if you've experienced it or if you're struggling with it now, I want you to start, as I said, by giving yourself a little grace, a little compassion, and a little patience.
• 7:54
  > Andre>Because you're not broken, you're not necessarily in the wrong profession, and you're certainly not alone. The question isn't simply how do I stop feeling nervous? But a more useful question that you can ask yourself is, how can I learn to respond to my nerves in a way that still helps me to perform? And that's where the work really begins.
• 8:22
  > Andre>Now, in my experience as a singer and a performer, an educator and a speaker, I have had two very pivotal experiences that help to shape how I respond to, you know, those pre stage jitters or nerves. And one of those experiences was, was definitely psychological, and one was more physical in terms of learning how to be present in your body and understand what your body is doing and what it needs and how your breath is connected to that. One of the things that really helped me when I was just starting out, was reading a book by a Berkeley tutor and performer by the name of Mr. Livingston Taylor. And his book really helped to enhance my understanding of what it means to be present on stage and also to help me understand what I needed to do in order to get the right mindset needed for performing. So I'll probably put a link to the book in the description below, so feel free to check it out if you have time. But essentially, one of the lessons that Mr. Taylor's book taught me is that it's not just about you when you perform. Performance is about making a connection, right? And in order to make that connection, you have to shift your perspective.
• 10:17
  > Andre>Instead of treating it as an opportunity to prove how talented you are, you have to see it as an opportunity to communicate something meaningful.
• 10:27
  > Andre>And let's think about that for a moment. When you get up to sing a song, what is the purpose of that performance? Is it for you to demonstrate that you can hit every note perfectly? Is it to prove that you're better than everyone else? Is it to ensure that nobody notices a single mistake? Or is it to share a story, express an emotion, entertain someone, or create a Moment of connection. Those different goals can produce very different experiences. If your entire focus is on yourself, you might spend the performance monitoring every movement, every note and every reaction from the audience. You'll be thinking to yourself, did I sound good? Do they like me? Was that mistake obvious? But if you shift your attention towards the experience that you're creating for other people, you have something else to focus on. You can think about the meaning of the lyrics, you can pay attention to the rhythm, you can notice, uh, the audience. You can become curious about how to communicate the message of the song. And the same principle applies to public speaking. If you're delivering a presentation, your purpose isn't simply to demonstrate that you are an intelligent person who never makes mistakes. Your purpose is to communicate an idea that's going to inform, inspire or help someone.
• 12:14
  > Andre>And um, this is one of the lessons for me, this was one of the most important lessons I took from Mr. Taylor's approach to stagecraft. Performing is a responsibility to the experience you're creating for your audience, not just a test of your own abilities. And it's important to make that powerful distinction because you can be technically skilled and still need to develop your confidence, presence and communication. On the other hand, you can be nervous while still giving someone an experience that matters. One of the things that, that you have to do when I found that one of the things that helps is definitely being honest with yourself about your capabilities, about your intentions, figuring out what your goal is and ah, using those things to help you focus on not just what you are doing or, or how good you are doing it, but on communicating effectively or sharing effectively whatever it is you have to share. So the next time you're preparing for performance, ask yourself, a different question.
• 13:39
  > Andre>Instead of how do I make sure everyone thinks I'm good? Ask yourself, what do I want the people listening to experience? And you'd be surprised that just that simple change in intention can give you a more useful focus.
• 14:00
  > Andre>Now it's not to say that a mindset shift is, uh, some magic bullet, because confidence is something that we have to build when we take a look at it through the lens of psychology. One concept that I find particularly useful here is that of self efficacy. And this was explored by psychologist Albert Bandura, who used the term to describe our belief in our ability to carry out the actions needed to achieve a particular goal in everyday language. It's simply being able to say, I can work through this. I have the Ability to take the next step. And here's something important. Self efficacy is not necessarily the same as believing that everything will go perfectly. You might believe that you can deliver a good presentation, while also knowing that you could stumble over a word. You might forget a line. You might believe that you can perform a song while accepting that you might make a mistake. There might be a note off here or there. Your confidence comes partly from believing that you can handle the task and adapt when necessary and continue even when things don't go exactly as planned. So it's not so much about never making a mistake, but it's about developing the confidence to know that if something unexpected happens, you can handle it.
• 15:42
  > Andre>The next question then is, how do we develop those beliefs? One tried and true way is through experience. Think about the first time that you did something that once seemed intimidating.
• 15:56
  > Andre>Perhaps it was speaking in front of your class, singing in public, leading a meeting, or presenting your work to colleagues. You might have felt nervous, but you did it. And even if it wasn't perfect, you gained something valuable evidence that you can face the situation. You have to give yourself permission to start somewhere.
• 16:23
  > Andre>Sometimes we just have to give ourselves permission, Especially when we are starting out, we're trying out something new that's unfamiliar to us. We have to give ourselves permission to suck a little bit. And there's nothing wrong with that because we all start somewhere. So if you make that start and you happen to suck a little bit, don't be discouraged, don't quit. You have to keep going. And when you keep going, you keep doing it. You build on that evidence. You start small, practice deliberately, seek feedback, and gradually take on more challenging situations.
• 17:06
  > Andre>Rather than waiting until you feel completely confident, give yourself opportunities to become more capable and more comfortable. And this is especially important because avoiding every situation that makes us nervous can prevent us from learning that we can in fact manage it. Now, of course, I'm not saying to throw yourself into the most intimidating situation imaginable. You can progress at a, uh, manageable pace. Start small, take on challenges that are manageable, and every opportunity to practice can become a small piece of evidence that supports your confidence.
• 17:54
  > Andre>And if something does happen to go wrong, just think of it as a learning experience. And your goal doesn't even necessarily have to become someone who never feels nervous. The better goal would be to become someone who knows what to do when nervousness arrives. Try to remember that even the most famous accomplished speaker or singer started somewhere. And if you had actually been there to see that start, you would probably be really surprised by what you witness. So we've explored the mental side of things for a bit.
• 18:33
  > Andre>Now let's talk about the physical aspects of dealing with performance anxiety. and when it comes to being present and being able to control, at least to a certain extent, how your body is responding to a performance, one approach, and this is something that I personally experience, is to really work on your breath. When we're anxious, we usually begin breathing rapidly or shallowly.
• 19:05
  > Andre>And that can contribute to a feeling of physical tension. Now, when we actively slow our breathing down, it helps us to settle our attention and regulate aspects of our physiological arousal.
• 19:20
  > Andre>Now, in vocal training, you're taught how to utilize your diaphragm to take deeper, fuller breaths. And some of those exercises show you how to slow your breathing down and take your time as you inhale and exhale. And in doing so, it also helps you to calm or reduce the physiological arousal that you're experiencing. Now, I remember doing some of these exercises with my vocal coach and realizing that what she was telling me was true. Being intentional with your breathing helps you to be able to regulate the physical tension in your body. And this is not just anecdotal, this is something that is backed up by scientific research. in a randomized controlled study involving 46 trained musicians, researchers found that a brief slow breathing intervention improved certain measures of heart rate variability during performance anticipation. The results for self reported anxiety were a bit more nuanced, with greater benefits observed among participants who had higher anxiety at baseline. Now, we can't say that this is the cure all for everyone, but breath work and breathing exercises can be a powerful tool if you are looking for ways to improve how you manage your performance anxiety. Another tool that I have personally used, in my pre performance preparation is of course, music. Music itself can be a part of the preparation, whether it's a familiar instrumental track with a steady pulse, a gentle acoustic arrangement, or a piece of music that you associate with feeling grounded and capable. You could even use a familiar Caribbean rhythm as a cue to reconnect with your body, your sense of identity, and the feeling of being rooted in something familiar, something you know. The key is to find what works for you.
• 21:41
  > Andre>Some people find slower, quieter music more helpful when they want to settle. Others prefer energetic music that helps them to feel pumped up and ready to go. There isn't one universally correct choice. The Relationship between music, emotion and arousal depends on the individual, the situation, and what the listener associates with that music. Simply ask yourself, is there a kind of musical experience that helps me to arrive at the state I want to be in before a performance?
• 22:16
  > Andre>For some people, the answer might well be no music at all, just calm and quiet. And that is also perfectly okay. Now let's turn back to the mental aspects of dealing with performance anxiety for a bit. Imagine you're about to deliver a presentation. Your heart begins to race, and you start to think, I'm, nervous. This is going to be terrible. However, another thought that you could have is, I am feeling excited or energized because this matters to me and I can use my preparation to help me through it. You see, the way we interpret our thoughts is another powerful tool that we can use to manage performance anxiety. Notice the difference in perspective. The physical sensation might be similar, but the meaning that you have attached to it has changed. Now, this doesn't mean that we can simply think our, uh, way out of every anxiety response, and it doesn't mean that every anxious feeling is secretly excitement. What it does mean is that we can learn to examine the thoughts that accompany, our anxiety rather than just accepting every negative prediction as a fact. Cognitive behavioral approaches, for example, encourage people to identify unhelpful thought patterns and develop more balanced responses.
• 23:59
  > Andre>Let's look at three examples. The first one, instead of the thought, what if I make a mistake?
• 24:07
  > Andre>A, more helpful response might be, I might make a mistake, but I can pause, recover, and continue.
• 24:17
  > Andre>The second example, common thought that might be running through your head before or during a performance. Everyone is going to judge me. Try. I can't control every person's opinion, but I can focus on communicating clearly and doing the best I can with the preparation I have done. And third, I'm not confident enough to do this. Instead of letting that thought run wild, try to change it to, I don't have to feel completely confident before I begin. I can take the next step while I'm still learning. Notice that these alternatives are not unrealistic affirmations. They don't promise that everything will be perfect. They acknowledge uncertainty while reminding you that you do have options.
• 25:14
  > Andre>Now, when we understand and we take the craft of performing seriously, like Livingston Taylor encourages us to do in his book, we have practical things that we can do. Instead of just relying on hope, we prepare our material thoroughly, consider how we were going to begin, practice our transitions, develop our timing, and think about how we want to engage the audience. confidence can grow when we combine it with a more constructive mindset coupled with real preparation. That brings me to talk about the importance of practice, because that is where we turn ideas into action.
• 25:58
  > Andre>And it's one thing to rehearse a song alone in your bedroom. It's another thing to perform it in front of an audience. It's one thing to prepare a presentation in your head, and it's another thing to stand in front of colleagues or even strangers and deliver it. The contexts are different and our emotional responses would be different too. So it's useful to practice in conditions that gradually become more similar to the real situation. For a musician, that might mean finding a relative, a friend, a neighbor to perform in front of. It might mean recording yourself. It might mean then moving to a, uh, smaller group, doing an open mic, or another low pressure performance opportunity for a public speaker. You might begin by rehearsing aloud, then recording a short video, practicing in front of one person, and eventually delivering the presentation to a small group. The aim is not to overwhelm yourself.
• 27:11
  > Andre>It's to build familiarity and learn that you can tolerate the discomfort of being observed.
• 27:20
  > Andre>Now, proper preparation involves more than just simply knowing the material. It's also very important to practice the act of performing, beginning, communicating, managing transitions, and especially recovering when something unexpected happens. And that is particularly important for people who struggle with perfectionism. If you stop every time you make a mistake during practice, you may become very good at starting over, but you may have fewer opportunities to practice recovering. It is vital to learn how to continue after missing a note.
• 27:58
  > Andre>Learn how to pause after losing your place. Learn.
• 28:01
  > Andre>Learn how to return to your message after a moment of uncertainty. Because mistakes are part of human performance, and the ability to recover is a skill that will keep you going. Now, before we wrap up, I want to leave you with this five step Find your confidence routine that you can use to prepare for your next performance.
• 28:24
  > Andre>And you can adapt it for singing, playing an instrument, public speaking, teaching, or presenting. Step one. Prepare with purpose. Don't just repeat the material. Practice the parts that are most likely to challenge you. Know your opening. Know your transitions. Practice recovering. If you lose your place, also give yourself enough time to avoid creating unnecessary pressure. STEP 2. Regulate your breathing and your body. Take those slow, deep breaths before performance. Relax your shoulders and jaw. Choose a familiar musical cue if it helps you to settle or feel ready. And remember that the goal isn't necessarily to become completely calm, but it's to help yourself become present enough in the moment to engage with the task fully. Step three.
• 29:28
  > Andre>Redirect your attention. Instead of monitoring yourself, constantly, focus on your message, what you're communicating. If you're singing the meaning of the lyrics, if you're speaking the ideas that you want your audience to understand.
• 29:46
  > Andre>Step 4. Choose a realistic intention. Rather than demanding a flawless performance from yourself, set an intention you can act on. For example, I will communicate the message clearly. I will connect emotionally with this song. Step 5.
• 30:09
  > Andre>Reflect without attacking yourself. After the performance, take a few moments to reflect. What worked? What did you learn? What would you like to practice next time? ... and this type of post mortem is important because it helps you to take each performance opportunity and turn it into a learning opportunity. To help you improve your craft, try your best to remember that one difficult performance doesn't define your ability and one mistake that doesn't erase your preparation. Confidence can become more sustainable when our reflection helps us to learn rather than simply criticize ourselves. So don't focus necessarily on what you did wrong. Focus on how you can improve for the next time.
• 31:09
  > Andre>After this episode is over, I'd like to challenge you all to try to put some of the things that we've discussed into practice. Give yourself one small challenge, whether it's singing in front of someone m or sharing an idea in a meeting. And use the tools and steps that we've discussed to manage that performance anxiety and turn it into something positive. Remember that you don't have to get it 100% correct immediately, but progress comes when you keep taking one small step after the other. As we come to the end of today's episode, I really just want to reiterate that confidence isn't necessarily the absence of fear, but it's a willingness to keep moving towards something that matters to you, even when you feel uncertain. We can learn to understand our anxiety.
• 32:13
  > Andre>We can prepare more effectively. We can regulate our bodies, shift our attention, and practice performing in manageable steps. Above all else, we have to give ourselves permission to be learners.
• 32:26
  > Andre>Permission to make mistakes and recover and learn from them and keep moving forward. Now, if this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who might need a little encouragement before their next performance. And until next time, take care of your mind, take care of your heart, and keep making room for music in your life.