Latest / From Sad Pick Me Girl to Alchemist / Episode 15 - Why Slowing Down Can Change Your Life
Transcript
- Denise: Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of From Sad Pick Me Girl to Alchemist. Today I am so excited to have Brooke Hunter here and I'm gonna have her explain more about her intuitive practice that I think so many people can benefit from. If you're new here, I talk a lot about your connection to self and how I think that that is the key to our happiness and self-love. And so again, I will have her explain more in depth, but I also want to backpedal and say that she is one of the people I connected with through threads and I received tons of responses when I asked healers if they would like to speak and I set an intention that I would speak to those that I felt resonated more with the messages that I share in the podcast and in the content that I share on social media and it is not disappointed. I'm so excited to Have her bring her ideas and thoughts to the forefront and for those who need to hear it to hear it and also pique their interest in trying it out. So with that, Brooke, I will let you take the wheel. Brooke: Hi, I wrote a self-discovery scavenger hunt to help people find their way back to themselves. in 2022 I had my daughter and I sort of disappeared into that role of being a mom. and A few years passed, and I was like, okay, I was someone before I was a mom, and I need to get back to her. I need to figure out how to come home to myself. so I started walking around and journaling and just being with myself and listening to my inner voice, and through that I connected with my identity. and I sort of filled that void that I was feeling by knowing Denise: Yeah. Brooke: myself. Denise: Yeah. And I I really wanna touch on the disconnection from self after becoming a mom because I think that's something that so many of us can relate to. And it's been a while for me and when you're this far removed you forget how impactful it is in your your day to day. And I remember thinking, How am I ever gonna feel normal again? And is this and the truth is it's a new normal and you get used to it. Now it's don't even remember what life was like without children. But I wanna get your take on it because of course it was so impactful that you felt like you had to create something so that you can c strengthen your connection with self again. Brooke: Yeah. for me, I felt really stuck. I was a stay at home mom and I wasn't really like getting out into the world. so I think that I had to force myself out into the world to really become the next version of myself. 'cause you're right, you don't really go back to who you were, you become that new version. so for me it was a lot of noticing and not necessarily trying to fix or become something different. It was just saying like okay this is who I am this is what's in my heart right now this is how I'm showing up and then in doing that removing the pressure and shame like, I should be feeling a certain way, I should be doing something different. and just stepping into a powerful state of like I am whole exactly as I am. Denise: Right. And I think that's something you touched on so many of us are missing right now is that sense of if I get this next thing or if I get this, I will feel whole, or if I accomplish this, I'll feel whole. I and it doesn't matter what stage you are in life, you will always have that. So I think this is super important, not just for new moms, but of course anybody who's going through major life changes or anyone that feels disconnected. And I think that I love this concept so much because When you have your connection with self, you'll start to understand these things, but before that I don't think you will and you'll always Brooke: Yeah. Denise: think, well, when I accomplish this or when I do this, and that's just not how it works. Brooke: Yeah, no. I started out going for walks on the beach, which I think for me was a good place to start because the beach naturally lends itself to like resilience and weathering the storms. So with my scavenger hunt, I wrote a bunch of reflections about various things that you would find on a beach. and when I saw what I was feeling and like going through reflected in nature, I felt less alone. And I was like, okay, what's in here is also going on out there and it's not wrong. it's just like a natural process. Denise: Yeah. Brooke: Yeah. Denise: yeah, please elaborate th that 'cause I I know you there's when you say I know what you're talking about because I've talked to you about what it is that you created. I I think that that's super important to touch on. Brooke: Yes. so one of the prompts I have is to find beach grass. you walk up to it, you touch it carefully without disturbing any habitats. you step back and watch the strands blowing in the breeze and you have like a mindful moment that sort of centers you And then it says deep below, a network of root systems holds the beach in place. So this grass is very graceful on the surface, but deep beneath it's holding all the sand together, it's weathering all the storms. and the reflection is where are you holding an entire ecosystem together through sheer resilience? So and you Sit there and think about like where you're being strong. and then the second question is where do you allow yourself to flex? Because that's also an important thing that the grass does. It has to flex in the wind, so it's resilient and flexible. so for me when I'm like holding everything together, sitting with a heavy feeling, it helps to externalize that, to look at something that's doing the same thing as me, like holding it together, and saying, Okay, me too. Here's where that's happening in my life, here's how I'm feeling about it, and then journaling about it and Denise: Yeah. Brooke: getting to the bottom. Denise: And do you journal as you're doing the walk or after the walk? Is it how how exactly Brooke: So Denise: do you work? And I'm sure there's no right or wrong, but I'm just curious how it works for you. Brooke: For me, I usually like have a mental conversation with myself and think about it. I'll like jot down a few notes on my phone and then I'll go home and like write a full reflection. But like I've taken my journal out and sat down before on a bench to write. So it's really just whatever I'm feeling that day. Denise: Yeah. And I know that you started with beach, which is interesting 'cause I I've always anytime I had a hard time I like to go run by the beach and now I'm learning that there is a more soul level connection with the water and the environments that we have. But I didn't know that before. Brooke: Yeah. Denise: And it was always that was my itch. It's like I'm gonna go to the beach and I run. Why the beach? I have no idea. But I know Brooke: Yeah. Denise: that you've also created this activity for we'll call it an activity, but I think it's that is not doesn't give it enough justice, but for for lack of a better term, Brooke: Yeah. Denise: an activity. where you have different environments for people that might not have access to the beach or to water from where they live, right? It's there's still ways for them. Brooke: Right. Yes. I have the forest and I have the city. So and a city you don't necessarily need like New York City. It it's just like you could find most things in a small town environment. so yeah, it's accessible and you really You don't need to be there. Like you can still ask yourself the questions and visualize everything. Denise: Mm-hmm. Brooke: but I think part of the activity is getting out, moving your body and interacting with the items. so yeah. Denise: Right. And It's in funny timing, I listened to something this weekend about how we are so overloaded with information right now on social media and it's at our fingertips and it's almost like we're getting all this dopamine high. And I think that this brings us back to I want to say the old ways because you're going outside, you're walking, and you're really taking the break from scrolling on your phone, ideally, right? And I think in any intuitive practice, the more you can stereo clearer of your phone, the better. And it's a way to quiet the noise and I really want to encourage people to do that because a lot of people will say I don't have time but we all have time to scroll on our phones. We all have time to do these mindless activities that we don't even realize take so much of our time because we're like, I'm only gonna scroll for ten minutes and then all of a sudden it's twenty minutes later when you could have gone on a small walk and done an intuitive practice that is so much better for your mental health and overall well being than the temporary dopamine hit that you get from scrolling on your phone. Brooke: Yeah, yeah, it the thing I love about this is you can take just one card with you. Like you don't have to commit to the full thing. You can pick out whatever is speaking to you and do it whenever you have time. So like we went for a walk yesterday morning and I have one prompt that's for a water droplet and To actually see like the morning light reflecting on the water droplet on a leaf, I was like, this is so magical. And like I just I felt Denise: Yeah. Brooke: so good. I'm like, this is it. Here it is. Denise: Yeah. Brooke: and as a mom, like it's so hard to find the time to do these things. Like scrolling on social media, we always have time for that. But like committing to something that's going to really be good for you is difficult. So this is like an invitation that's there whenever you have a moment. Denise: Right. And the way that it works is you have the separate cards for the particular environment that you're in. So you pick one, like you were saying, whatever one that calls to you, or multiples. And the idea is that you're looking for these things, so then you're s paying attention more to the environment and your surroundings. Right. Okay. Brooke: Yes. Yeah, it really it helps with the art of noticing things 'cause Denise: Yeah. Brooke: you're you're really tuned into the world. Denise: Right. And it's funny that you say that too, because I've driven by the same streets over and over. And sometimes I'll drive and I'll say, I've never seen that house before. And I don't know if that's happened to you. Or like, Brooke: Yeah. Denise: how have I driven by this place countless times, almost day almost daily, because of its commute to work or wherever it is. And I'm just so baffled that that's how our minds are. We're just on autopilot all the time. Yeah. Brooke: Yeah, yeah. Denise: And so I wanna touch on journaling too because I am someone who struggles admittedly with journaling and there's this funny thing because I would consider myself spiritual but not the stereotypical spiritual person. I cannot bring myself to journal to save my life, but I know that there are so many benefits to it. So can you speak to how that's impacted you and your day to day? Not even just as a mom, but how you feel internally as well. Brooke: Yeah, for me journaling, I'm able to capture all of my like swirling feelings and put them on the page so I can walk through whatever situation it is at a distance. because when it's all like bottled up and I don't have that outlet, like I just feel really anxious. Like I have this energy and this feeling that needs to go somewhere. and for me, just putting it, writing it out, really helps get it all out. I know that other people like go to the gym to do stuff like that. but for me I get to sit with myself and my thoughts. and yeah. Denise: Yeah, and I think that's so important too because I will say I'm someone that does l use fitness as a way to cope with some of the pent up we'll call it anxiety and stress from the day to day. But there is something about slowing down too and I have to be reminded of that and I I think there's a never ending way to improve, but I know for me it could be to slow down and to do activities like this where I'm actually being intentional because I'm almost in this survival mode where I'm like go, go, go, go, go. And that's also not healthy because you reach a point. I've reached many points where I I'm like out for the count for like twenty four hours because I burned myself out and I'm like, I'm exhausted, I'm never doing anything again. So this is still really helpful. And I like what you said about moving through the emotions. I think many people are avoiding feeling un discomfort now. And so we don't want to sit with certain emotions. It doesn't matter what that emotion is. Anything that doesn't feel good, we don't want to sit with. And I think this is a way to sit with it and release it. Because one thing is to sit with it, feel it, and then you let it go. And I think right now it's Brooke: Yes. Yeah, I totally agree. Denise: Yeah, it's sit and run from it, right? Or that's the key. So again, I would love for people to understand how impactful it is to slow down. And this is from somebody who doesn't know how to slow down. So I admittedly, Brooke: Yeah. Denise: so I would love to give this a try. and yeah, have you had anybody in your circle try the practice and what did they tell you about it? Brooke: Yes. My mom loves it. She was actually texting me last night. She has like her little shell with her. yeah, she was doing all of the cards. She has them printed out really big so she can see them. and she is also a person who has never stopped in her life. Like she is a person who is going, going, going, just speed running through everything. So in her practice she has slowed down and is noticing things about her life and like processing the last section of her life. because we all go through like upheavals and tough times and it Denise: Yeah. Brooke: is hard to stop and process it in the moment. so yeah, right now she is journaling. she went on a hike with my sister and was sending me pictures of things that she noticed like outside of the card. She's like, I'm seeing things. Like I'm seeing these broken boards on a footbridge and she's relating it to things in her life. so yeah, it's like it's a good entryway for reflecting. because it's not it's not like clinical. It just says Hey, pay attention to this thing. What does it bring up for you? Okay, move through it, like and then it's done. Denise: Yeah. And I love that. it's simple, but if it were easy, everyone would do it. And that's the concept for a lot of things. It's seemingly simple, but Brooke: Yes. Denise: it takes practice and it takes intention to slow down and it's a reminder for me as well that I need to slow down. And I do sometimes think that that stops us from progressing. When we're go, go, go. There's a fine balance between waiting for things to come to you and not taking any action and then feeling like if you stop moving, you're going to fail and everything will crumble. And I think this is a nice little medium for people to be present to really get to know themselves and not even on the in the short term too, not to get to know yourself, but all be in the moment, which is so many of us Brooke: Yes. Denise: are scanning. I'm always thinking, okay, what do I have to do next? Or what did I forget to do before? Or this happened a year ago and I'm still sad about about it. know? But very rarely Brooke: Right. Yeah. Denise: and I don't know if you can relate to this, I'd imagine that it's a common thing and it sounds like it is, but very rarely are we in the actual moment. Brooke: Yes, yeah. I am so bad at meditating. Like I try and then my mind is immediately somewhere else, which is part of it. And you're supposed to just like let the thoughts go. But for me it's just like a constant stream. And I'm like, this isn't very Denise: Yeah. Brooke: peaceful right now. And I feel like one day I will get there. But for Denise: Mm-hmm. Brooke: right now, like for me it's going for walks, touching things, saying like I'm here, I see this, like I'm centered. I'm whole. Denise: Right. And it's a good way for people that are go, go, go, or anxious to it is in a sense, it is a form of meditation because it's being with yourself, knowing yourself and quieting your mind. It's just not the silence that meditation requires Brooke: Right. Denise: and the stillness. So I would say it's Brooke: Yeah. Denise: still a form of meditation. It's just not your conventional where you sit and I I say hum, but not everyone hums. I've rarely hummed in a meditation. So I I really feel like this is good for the people that are go go go. And in my world, it's corporate and everyone is go go go. And I genuinely feel that people would perform better. And I know this is going off on a tangent, but if they would slow down sometimes and and if they would stop their anxious thoughts and stop this belief that if they're not available 24-7, that they'll just lose their job. It's a fear Brooke: Yeah. Denise: fear tactic that corporate I and corporate mind I feel like corporate is better at understanding that we're human now, but people are still in that mode because it's so hard for us to unlearn what we were taught our whole lives. Brooke: Right. one of my beach cards is to find a barnacle. and during low tide, barnacles will seal their shells shut, which is like drawing a boundary saying the conditions aren't good right now, I'm sealing my moisture in so that I survive. and in doing that prompt You're supposed to feel like a sense of grace for all those times where you do have to draw a line and say, like, even in the corporate world, like I'm disconnecting, I'm not checking my email, and I'm gonna give myself grace for that. I'm gonna Denise: Yeah. Brooke: say, like, this is what I need for my survival, and that's okay. And it's like Denise: Yeah. Brooke: this little sea creature is doing it, and it's okay. Like, I can do that. I can be a barnacle and be okay. Denise: my gosh, I love that. I did that this week. I was barnacle barnacling. I that's not a word, but I Brooke: Hay. Denise: told myself I was feeling so burned out and I it was six o'clock and instant messaging doesn't stop in my company. But it's not necessarily urgent. I created the sense of urgency that if someone uses that, I need to respond right away. And I was like, I can't. I'm not doing it. It's not something that's a today problem. I'm gonna barnacle. So I love that because you Brooke: Yeah. Denise: we have to slow down. And anytime I speak these things, it's really from my own experience, not from like, look, I figured this out. You guys figure it out. It's more Brooke: Right. Denise: I'm working through it too. I have a terrible time slowing down. So thank you. I'm so glad that I've met you to remind me too that Brooke: Yeah. Denise: and I try to meditate and I swear that's half the time I'm like, don't think about that. But it I'm thinking about what I have to do next or what Brooke: Yeah. Denise: I have well again, bat past thoughts that bother me. And it's hard because they'll say, Don't shame yourself for those thoughts. But I'm like, I'm sitting there 10 minutes fighting myself. And I understand that's Brooke: Yeah. Denise: room for development. So this is a good For those who say, no, I I can't sit still, that that would drive me crazy. I know people that say that they get angry when they have to sit still. Brooke: Yeah, this is very like kinetic. You are moving around and doing things. Denise: Yeah. Brooke: yeah. And it's a great way, to trick yourself out of the house. Because I know for me, I need to have a mission. I need to I'm working on it. I'm working on just going out to relax. But right now I'm like, I like a checklist. I like to have Denise: Yeah. Brooke: a direction. and I don't think I'm alone in that. I think there are probably other people who want something to do and need like a direction. So this is like for me, okay, I'm gonna go look for these things and it's gonna be fun. Denise: Yeah. I almost feel like for mindfulness and meditation, it's the equivalent of having a personal trainer or going to a class versus working out on your own. Does that make sense? That where you go Brooke: Yeah, yes. Denise: and you just show up and somebody tells you what to do versus you having to create a whole workout and push yourself and really think about it. So what you're describing sounds like that where you need some direction or an objective. Otherwise you're just like, I'm not gonna do anything and I'm just gonna waste time, essentially. Brooke: Yes. Yeah, Denise: Yeah. Brooke: that that tracks. Denise: Yeah. I love that. So really the core is the art of being present and if there's anything else you want to share on it, I want to just say it's so beautiful the artwork that you showed me for the different environments and the concept itself is so unique and the reason I wanted to have it on is because my goal is to highlight to people different healers and I would consider you a healer because anybody who is helping the world reconnect with themselves and find modalities that are separate from what we've heard work all the time. And that's not to say, as I've mentioned to you and everyone that I speak to, it's not to say that therapy doesn't work. But sometimes I think that things are a little more simpler. And it's us understanding what we need. And sometimes when we're able to understand what we need, we can go into therapy and go into these modalities, advocating for ourselves so that we get what we need to from whatever it is that we're looking to or whatever method we're using to heal, right? And I know it's a never ending thing and I know that our challenges are always going to be, but as long as you are able to listen to yourself, you'll be able to navigate things. Difficulties so much better. Brooke: Yeah. And then no one can take that from you. Once solid in yourself, it's like you have all that power. Denise: Right, yeah. And I want to also encourage people that it's not about ruminating too. And one of the things that I felt like I was always talking about my past traumas and or past experiences and not really moving forward. And you can understand something. You can understand w the root cause of why it is that you have certain attachment styles or why it is you feel a certain way about certain triggers. But understanding is half the battle, right? Now it's releasing. And so for in this activity it's journaling and actually letting yourself feel whatever it is that comes up and then finding things in nature that you otherwise wouldn't notice because you're always on the go and and thinking about the next Brooke: Yeah. Denise: thing you have to do. I'm speaking to myself right here, but I'm sure Brooke: Yeah. Denise: so many other people can relate to that. So I just wanna thank you even for coming up with this concept in the artwork because I can only imagine the time that it took and the passion that it takes behind these things. Brooke: Yeah, it it has been a really a really interesting journey. Denise: Yeah. Brooke: I didn't plan to do this. I had a surgery and I wound up stuck in the house for a week and I just started writing all of these reflections. I took everything I learned in twenty twenty five and put it all into this. project. and I learned on the go. I had no idea how to make like cards and digital downloads and stuff. so it's been it's been cool to become the next version of myself through this. Denise: Yeah, it's amazing. And this also brings me to a second point too, where I think a lot of the times the the things that are most impactful are created from people or by people who needed that particular thing and they used it to get to a different level or to ascend to a different level as far as self-development. And that's what you did here. And I I think oftentimes we fall into this mindset where we think, well this worked for me, but nobody's gonna care about it. And that's not true. And it takes a lot of courage to go out and share and to get past that limiting belief that nobody else is going to care because at first you won't find the right people and it's going to take continuing to share these things and knowing that you will find the people that it resonates with. Will it be for everyone? No, but nothing is for everybody. That's just how life works. And it's discouraging when you don't have that belief. So I hope you have that fundamental belief. And I know that I'm working through it, that knowing that what we have to offer is valuable and the right people it will change their life and they're not even gonna realize that they need it. And I know that that's what this is for you here. Brooke: Yes, absolutely. Because I know that there is someone who is just like me feeling the way that I was and I could have used this. I'm still gonna use it. Like I wrote it, I'm still gonna keep using this and returning to all of these different things because we're all growing and changing all the time. and this might just resonate with one person. And if I've helped one person unlock a new path to getting to know themselves, then this was all worth it. Denise: Right, yeah. And it's not it's for anyone, for the new mom, for somebody who's going through divorce, for somebody who it it can be anything. I think that sometimes we minimize our life challenges and we think that people have it worse than us and we tell ourselves, I'm fine, I'm fine but unless you really feel it at your core, you will never truly feel fine. So Brooke: Yes. Denise: yes, I love this. Thank you so much for agreeing to come here and share it. I am going to link your information in the show notes so people know where to find you. And this is also touching. I feel like I It's like when you take a picture of a sunset and it's the sunset looks pretty, but it's much prettier in person. I want to share that that's how I feel Brooke: Yes. Denise: the activity is too. It's it's hard to put into words and to actually describe the depth of it, but just by looking and having seen what you had created, I really want people to experience it firsthand. So thank you everyone who has listened. And if this resonated, again, I will have books information in the show notes so that you are able to find her and I really encourage you if you are struggling in any regard to connect with yourself, to quiet your mind, if you're feelings a certain way and you want to feel, well just say better for lack of a better term. then I would encourage you to explore it because you have nothing to lose from giving these things a shot. So again, thank you for the beautiful thing that you created and for sharing it because I know that it'll reach the right people. Brooke: Thank you so much for having me. This was very fun. Denise: Yeah, of course.