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Busy Life, Big Joy: Simple Ways to Feel Good Today · #BeMoreLobster

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Somewhere along the way, many of us have picked up the idea that joy has to be earned or scheduled.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: So we only get to feel it once the work is done, the to-do list is empty, when life finally calms down, or you've got your ducks in a row, or that you've got a justified time slot for it, like a weekend or a holiday.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I don't know about you, but as I've come into this season, and particularly as I've experienced more and more grief, here's the truth that I live by now.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: That joy is not a reward.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: Joy is something that we create and we prioritize and we schedule.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's a resource that we can tap into right now, no matter what.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: And so today I invite you to grab your brew and join me for a micro podcast on why did joy become something that we had to earn and how can we change that narrative?
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're ready, let's dive right in.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: Now I will hold my hands up to really not prioritizing joy in the past.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: I have been so busy building my self-worth on the back of doing more and achieving more and attaining more that I didn't have time to be joyful.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't have time to have fun because I was too busy trying to build up my self-worth through action.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: Thankfully, I've let that one go.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: However, on top of that as well, and some of you that are my age would also recognise this.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: We have mothers who were busy.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: We had mothers that were running a family, some of our mums went out to work.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of our mums would have been part of that narrative around looking after the man of the home, no matter how busy you were.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: So I was brought up with a mother who was very independent, would get everything done, who wouldn't ask for help.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: And as we all know, we can be at the mercy of our conditioning until we know otherwise, and then we can choose to change.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: So on the back of that, what I learned, and what a lot of us maybe have learned, is that there is a narrative, a story around, well, when I've got everything done, when I have caught up with everything, then I'll relax.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes there's a belief that it's selfish to stop when other people are busy, or if other people need you, or just it's selfish to stop and not be doing something.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: And here's another one that I see very, very commonly in this season is that women don't even know what lights them up anymore.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: They've spent so long at capacity, meaning that they have always been so busy and they're at emotional capacity, physical capacity, mental capacity.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: They've had so many roles to fulfill that when there seems to be a space or a gap for something for themselves, they often don't know how to fill it.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: So when we end up waiting for the perfect conditions, when we're looking for our ducks being in a row or knowing exactly what it is, or making sure that everybody else is alright, when we keep waiting for the perfect conditions, joy gets endlessly postponed.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: It gets put to the bottom of the pile.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: What you will notice is that yes, great, you might become super efficient, but there is a hole of unfulfillment.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: You are busy, but you don't feel like you're alive, you are not fully living.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: And joy becomes this someday thing, and someday never comes.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: What I feel blessed to be witness to right now is as I create these containers to work with more women in this autumn season, this season where maybe they don't know who they are, they might not know what they really, really want.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: But I'll tell you what, they do know they know what they don't want.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: I find that thrilling.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: And to work with them and help them discover that is an absolute joy.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: So I get to be in joy every single day when I'm working with these people.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: So I just want to offer you that joy is not a finish line.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: This season that you're in is literally an invitation to you to do things differently, to do things your way, to create something new and lead with curiosity.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: Because when we don't know, it is very natural for your brain to desire certainty.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: I cannot take action until I'm certain.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: But this is the perfect season to let curiosity create certainty by taking action and finding out what you like, what you don't like, what works, what doesn't work, what you want more of, what you want less of, what is an absolute no to you right now, and what's a full-body yes.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: Elizabeth Gilbert in Big Magic, if you've not read that book, it's a beautiful book.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: She reminds us that joy often comes from curiosity and small pleasures and not giant passions.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: This is another thing that I've seen in my historical coaching with small business owners, is that there is so much emphasis and priority given to achieving the financial goals or the email list goals or some kind of goal where we invest all of our emotions that we don't remember that we get joy in the small pleasures outside of that, in the simple things, not in that big thing that drives you every single day.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: When you allow joy in the ordinary, you literally expand your capacity for everything else.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: So this week, here's what I offer you notice what feels good in your body.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: That's robbing me of this feeling good in my body.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: You can come it from both sides.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: Please do give yourself permission every single day to just stop and enjoy that pause and that joy without justification.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's the point of life, isn't it?
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: I think we lose that.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: I find it ironic how we have to get older to learn how to live more fully and repeat this daily without it turning into another task.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: Notice your body, give yourself permission to stop and to enjoy.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: Create and schedule joy.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: So please just remember give yourself permission to feel joy before the list is done.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: Pick one tiny thing and really make it count.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: If you love this episode of the Seeking Simplicity Podcast, please do leave me a view and share on your socials.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: I would be incredibly grateful.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll speak to you again in the next episode of the Seeking Simplicity Podcast.