Latest / Change Your Life with Dr. Amen Kaur / You're Not a People Pleaser. You're Proving Something.

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You're Not a People Pleaser. You're Proving Something. · Change Your Life with Dr. Amen Kaur

0:00
If you've ever been in a situation where you really don't want to do something and you do it anyway, you say yes.
0:06
I remember there was a distinct situation.
0:09
I was at an Indian wedding, and if you've ever been to one, the celebrations can go on for days.
0:16
Sometimes it feels like weeks.
0:18
But I remember day three, I was getting my hair done at the hairdresser's.
0:22
And you'd think that it'd be really amazing to be pampered, but no.
0:29
Everyone's exhausted.
0:30
Everyone's moaning that they've done too much is too much, and they're moaning that they have to go to another function.
0:39
And everyone's exhausted, tired.
0:43
And everybody is also pretending that they're so delighted to be there, and it's so amazing.
0:51
So there's two things going on in reality.
0:54
They're exhausted and they really don't want to be doing it.
0:58
They'd rather be doing something else.
1:00
But to the right people, they're telling them, this is the most amazing wedding we've ever been to.
1:06
It's been incredible.
1:08
And I remember thinking there at that point, like, why are we doing all of this?
1:13
And you have to wonder whether people pleasing is almost like a societal disease.
1:21
Because underneath all that pretending that we're all doing, we're saying yes to things that we really do not want to do, we'd rather be doing something else.
1:31
And actually, if we were being honest, then the other people would feel like, actually, we don't need to spend so much money to have the best wedding.
1:42
Because the experience that people are actually having is, hey, this is way too much.
1:48
It's.
1:49
We're exhausted.
1:50
Maybe if you did less, that would be a different experience.
1:54
We really enjoy it and we'd feel better within ourself and remember that wedding in a different way.
2:01
So underneath, we're all doing things that we really don't want to be doing.
2:07
And maybe we've been doing that for years, years on end.
2:13
And we're all trying to prove that we are worth something.
2:18
And then other people are pleasing others by saying, hey, yes, you are worthy.
2:25
And we're having to sit through days and days of things.
2:30
And here is what I want to say at the very start of this.
2:34
Proving your worth and actually feeling worthy are sometimes completely different things.
2:43
They are not the same thing.
2:45
Being proving is different than actually feeling you're worthy.
2:51
And one does not lead to the other, even though we think it does.
2:58
There's a study where they measured people getting something back, which I'm still thinking about, and I'll share that with you.
3:08
Four things, and each one I will tell you what happened first and then what is going on underneath it.
3:15
And stay with me till the 4th, because that's where everything starts to make sense.
3:20
And we'll look at it.
3:21
What does this mean for you in particular and what you can do?
3:25
Everyone told me the same thing growing up.
3:28
Study hard.
3:29
If you've got Indian parents or Indian parents, work hard, study hard.
3:33
Over and over again.
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And I did.
3:36
I really did.
3:37
And maybe you did too.
3:38
And now you're one of the most capable people that you know.
3:41
You've really done so well, considering where you came from, where you started, your beginnings.
3:49
I remember once I was in a meeting with a.
3:52
My manager, and I noticed that he was looking at my notes and.
3:59
And then repeating some of the things on my notes as if they were his ideas.
4:07
And what I realized was that my effort was valued, but I was not.
4:13
They took the value.
4:14
There was no loyalty in it, though, and no real understanding of how much care and how much of me had gone into that work, how much thinking had gone into that work.
4:27
And it was only afterwards, once it had landed and I did not know who I was anymore without my job, that I really understood.
4:37
My value does not come from a title.
4:40
It does not come from being competent either.
4:44
It came from something much deeper that I had never looked at.
4:48
And in a way, it was such a great thing to happen because it made me question, like, where is my real value?
4:58
Let me tell you about a client of mine, because I think she shows this much better than I can.
5:03
Her sense of her own value came from what her boss thought of her.
5:07
And at that workplace, it really wasn't healthy.
5:11
And she genuinely, you know, when you see someone and you can tell they're genuinely brilliant, she has a great mind.
5:19
She's the kind of person that also everybody loves, they warm to.
5:24
She's such a great fun person to be around.
5:28
But that environment made her feel less than.
5:31
They devalued her.
5:33
She was not seen and it really knocked her confidence.
5:37
She's in a completely different workplace by now.
5:39
Now, though, she's thriving.
5:42
She has so much more confidence and she's earning considerably more as well.
5:47
I spoke to her yesterday and I was in awe of her because she had a glow about her.
5:54
Same person in terms of competence level, in terms of talent, but two different environments.
6:01
One, she was struggling and desperate for someone else to witness her value.
6:06
And the other, she's flying.
6:09
What's changed is that she has stopped needing that validation from outside of her.
6:15
And it's like she's made the decision that isn't gonna come from someone outside of her.
6:21
She's never gonna put herself in that kind of situation again.
6:24
And she knows her own value now.
6:27
It's intrinsic and she's integrated it through the work that we've been doing together.
6:33
It took me a long time to understand what happened in my own situation.
6:39
And when I did, it really came from what this researcher has been saying.
6:44
Jennifer Crocker.
6:45
Her work is on contingencies of self worth.
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In plain terms, we all stake our sense of worth somewhere.
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For some of us, it's being good at work.
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For others, it's being needed.
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For others, it's being a good parent, being there and doing everything for a child or being the one that always has the answers or the one that always listens.
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What she found is that how hard an event hits you.
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So say if we lose something depends entirely on whether it landed in the place where you staked your self worth.
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So it's never the actual thing, it's how we've staked our self worth on it.
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So the other thing that we have to get clear on is never ever about the effort you put in.
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This is really important.
7:45
Okay?
7:46
It's never about the effort.
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It's whether it's landed on the exact place you've kept your self worth.
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So it's not about the effort that actually allows you to understand your own worth.
8:01
Which is why you working harder and proving yourself is never going to get you to understand your own self worth.
8:11
Let's look at the other step.
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Proving is not neutral, it's actually costing you.
8:16
People sometimes say if it's not working, you need to work harder, push through, be more disciplined.
8:22
It's easier said than done, right?
8:25
If it was that simple, we'd all be doing it.
8:28
And really what we need to do is sometimes step back and ask, who benefits from that advice?
8:36
Because it's normally not you, because you're going to just burn out.
8:40
I've been there.
8:41
I was in a relationship where I was told constantly I was not doing enough.
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You don't love me enough because you don't do this.
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You didn't do this.
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That's why our child fell over.
8:52
You didn't buy the Wellington boots.
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And that's why he hurt himself.
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A big old rant about it.
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So I bent over backwards.
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I mean, every little thing, it was always something I didn't do.
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And so I tried to do everything, fix more, do More.
9:09
I was literally doing so much.
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And then it suddenly dawned to me, what are they doing?
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They're not doing much at all.
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And that is the trap for high achievers specifically because some somebody hands you a problem and you cannot help yourself.
9:29
You don't just try and help yourself, you try and solve it.
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That's who you become, that's who you are.
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So you give and give and give and they take and take and take and what comes back is crumbs.
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And also the analysis of, hey, you're not doing enough.
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You didn't do that right.
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And you didn't do that right.
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They're always critiquing, but actually not actually doing anything until you can stop one day and say, hey, what am I actually doing here?
10:00
And the answer was for me, I'm proving.
10:05
That is all I was doing, proving, proving my worth.
10:11
So here is what the research says about that.
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And it is two people whose work fits together.
10:17
Crocker again, and this time with Laura Park.
10:21
They wrote a paper called the Costly Pursuit of Self Esteem.
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I think it should be a book.
10:27
They should get together and write a book.
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Maybe they have.
10:30
And what happens when you are constantly trying to validate that you are good enough?
10:36
The costs they found were not small.
10:38
It's cost to learning, cost to.
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To relationships, cost to your ability to regulate yourself.
10:44
Now, if your ability to regulate yourself is being impacted, it's costing your physical health, it's costing your potential to succeed in your life.
10:56
Whether you do something, whether you procrastinating, whether you're actually doing what it is that you came here to do.
11:02
And that regulation thing is enormous then, right?
11:06
And then Robert Valerand looked at two kinds of drive.
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There's a wanting to do something because you love it.
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You know that one when you're in flow, you're motivated, you're excited about life, you feel confident, you feel power, you feel like you're alive.
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And most of us want to get back to that point where we're just driven from inside of ourself.
11:31
And then the second one is that wanting something because you cannot let go of it.
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And that's the opposite.
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But from the outside they look at identical.
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You're both working hard.
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Like my parents would say, work hard on the outside.
11:47
Yeah, it looks like, yeah.
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But actually the second one, where you're being driven by what you can't let go of it doesn't make you lazy.
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It produces what is called rigid persistence.
12:01
It's not a lack of effort, it's actually too much effort.
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You're putting too much energy in and it's a struggle.
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It takes too much energy.
12:14
It's more like the input is so much and it's aimed at something that's already stopped working.
12:23
Yeah, it's already stopped working.
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I'll give you an example.
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My daughter yesterday had a wasp in her bedroom and she said, mum, you know, I think it spent ages banging itself against the window, maybe all night trying to get out.
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And there it is.
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Really, we can learn from the wasp that sometimes we're doing something, same window, same spot, over and over again, nothing's changing.
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And I think Einstein called it, it's insanity doing the same thing but expecting a different result.
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Because the truth is, it's over.
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It doesn't work for you anymore.
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You need something different.
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Rigid persistence is applying something for the 11th version of the same role.
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It's like you're going for the same type of jobs that really work for you anymore.
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Or it's trying to make the same conversation come out differently with someone that just doesn't change.
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For instance.
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Yeah, if they haven't noticed what you're already doing, why would they notice?
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If you take on more, nothing's going to change.
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You're not going to be able to prove to them that you're worthy.
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That is not you failing to move on.
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That is when the thing you are proving, it's gone, it's over.
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And when gripping, that's what happens when the boss knows you're gonna be let go of and you can sense it and your nervous system senses it and you're just trying to prove your worth for months before the event.
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And then they tell you, actually we're letting you go or you'll be made redundant.
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And the hardest and the kindest thing I could say is when it's over and you gripping something that's already finished, that energy could go into something else that can start giving you something back.
14:12
So when a career is over and you're meant to be doing something else, it's about how quickly can I see the signs so I can start using that energy and start moving towards something that actually builds the security
14:25
for me.
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Amy Arnstein at Yales had spent two decades on one finding the prefrontal cortex is the part of your brain that plans, decides and focuses.
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And under stress, activity there drops measurably.
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This is not metaphorically measurably.
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And a phrase for it is that stress flips the brain from reflective to reflexive control.
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Right, we're going to go into this.
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This is so Important, please stay for this.
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Reflective is you choosing, hey, you've got the power.
15:02
You choosing, you weigh it up, you decide.
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You have a say in your own life of what it is that you're going to do.
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You're consciously deciding.
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Reflexive is you reacting.
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Something else is at the wheel and you're just responding to it.
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So many people at the end of their life, they think, hey, I wish I had done this, I wish I had done that.
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Because what it is, most of us are in the reflexive.
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We're reacting to life most of our life.
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And then it's only at the end we get to that reflective where we choose and we're able to say, I wish I had done this.
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What we want to do is instead of just doing it right at the end of our life, we want to do it in our life.
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Now.
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I got married when I knew there was something wrong.
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Two things matter here.
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It does not take a crisis, even a mild stress to do this.
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And the word that carries the weight in her research is uncontrollable.
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It is not being in charge of it that does the damage.
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Which is exactly what loss you did not choose is.
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Which is exactly what a loss you did not choose is.
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So every decision you've tried to make about what comes next, you might.
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You, you have been making with a decision part of your brain that is turned down.
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You have not been making bad decisions, you've been trying to make good decisions in conditions where good ones were not available to you.
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And I want you to hear that as a relief, not as more pressure.
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You're not failing.
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You were working with the lights dimmed.
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Basically your brain wasn't fully online because there was a level of stress.
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And I want you to know which part of you has this.
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I do have a three minute quiz@amancore.com quiz and it's in the description and the show notes.
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So go and do it.
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Let's look at four.
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This is really important.
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You cannot be told your worth, not even by yourself.
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At some point in your life, you've probably been handed affirmations.
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A book coach, a friend who swears by them.
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You can stand in front of the mirror and say them, I am enough, I am worthy, I am lovable.
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And I'm not going to tell you they don't work because there have been so many times in my life and they have genuinely helped me.
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And there are certain sayings that really help so many people and I've seen it over and over again.
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But there are other times they have not.
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And I've noticed something about those times.
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And if there is a part of me that doesn't believe it, then the more I say the affirmation, the worse the situation gets.
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Because that part of me comes back at me.
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It's like it pops up and says, no, you're not.
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Say if I say I am worthy, it's like this sinking feeling comes in my body and I know what you're saying is like, no, you're not.
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I'm becoming more aware of, no, I'm not.
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And the more I repeat it, the stronger and the louder that feeling comes up.
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Or you listen to a motivational speaker.
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I remember there was a point where I was listening to all this motivational stuff all the time.
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And they tell you, hey, you can do better, you can do bigger.
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And it feels fantastic for a couple of hours, for maybe the morning or the afternoon if you're lucky.
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But by the end of the day or by later on in the week, nothing in your life has changed.
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You haven't really done anything different.
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They haven't really changed your life in any way.
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You're still in the same position.
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But here's what nobody is telling you, and it's really not about you.
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Joanne Wood and her colleagues ran an experiment in 2009 and they had people repeat, I am a lovable person.
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So an affirmation.
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And then they measured their mood.
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What they found was that the people with a high esteem self esteem felt slightly better.
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So slightly.
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And the people with low self esteem felt worse, measurably worse.
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So the researchers own conclusion was that the positive self statements or the affirmations may benefit certain people and backfire for the very people who need them.
19:52
Oh my gosh, really?
19:54
It sucks, doesn't it?
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Like if you need it is backfiring.
19:59
I mean, come on.
20:01
What is extraordinary when you really sit with this?
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The affirmations that you need the most are the ones that are least likely to work for you.
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So the woman, you know who does her affirmations every morning and she seems to glow, she already had it to some degree.
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That's why it works for her.
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And she's topping it up with something that is already there.
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So you're not doing anything wrong.
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But you might want to find out how much work have they done in terms of shadow work or releasing some of the trauma in their life, or doing some of that work that actually helps them regulate their nervous
20:42
system and release their emotional overwhelm.
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Because that is really important to look at already, because that impacts our self esteem, our own self, the way we actually see ourselves.
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So you're not using these kind of affirmations wrong.
21:00
You're basically handed a tool that only works if you've already have that self esteem, that thing that affirmation is able to give you.
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Which is why I would say, please don't compare yourself to anyone.
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We've all got a different brain, we've had different starting points, we've had different experiences.
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Which is why I'm asking you find out how much shadow work or how much work they've done on themselves to actually release any of the emotions already that the experiences they've already had.
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Because we've all got different starting points.
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Then there was a third group.
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They looked at who did better than the ones asserting the statement.
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So who did better than just saying the affirmation.
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And they were told, don't just say the affirmation, but hold both sides.
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So hold how true is it that I am worthy?
22:01
Yeah.
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And also hold how it's not true at the same time.
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This is really important because a lot of the time we're trying to be I am worthy, I am worthy.
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But we're not holding like that whole process of hang on, I've had these experiences where I feel I'm not worthy.
22:20
This is what I'm saying, like how much shadow work has been done.
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So they're not asserting only they're actually examining.
22:27
So you're getting into that medial prefrontal cortex part of the brain which is saying, hey, let's look at self awareness, let's examine.
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That's where we can get to the amygdala from what Dr.
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Van der Kolt has works showed us.
22:44
So let's.
22:45
Let me show you why this matters because there is a mechanism underneath this.
22:50
Have you ever noticed you've been in a coffee shop and everybody that's sitting there, that's on their own has normally got their phone out.
23:00
I don't think this is because the phone is super interesting.
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Yes, we can all scroll, et cetera.
23:06
I think it's being by ourself is really, really uncomfortable.
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And I think that's why so many of us doom scroll because being by ourself, our feelings, we feel uncomfortable with ourself and those feelings pop up.
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So we hold a phone so that we look occupied rather than feeling like, oh, I'm all by myself, I'm not important.
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That phone becomes like a safety net.
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I used to love sitting in coffee shops and watching the world go by.
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I still love it.
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But Now I have to remind myself to put the phone down so I can actually be present.
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And this is exactly what we do with big stuff.
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The thing we do with little things is exactly what we do with big things, okay?
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So if you observe yourself, you'll see that, okay, how we do one thing is how we do everything.
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If something happens and we feel uncomfortable in our body, the first thing we're going to do is try and pick something else, be it work, the phone, the cleaning, somebody else's problem, anything, rather than being with that uncomfortable
24:16
feeling where it needs attention so that we can process it, release it, and move forward.
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I've been extremely busy for long stretches of my life where I've been over giving people, pleasing, doing everything for everybody else, rather than really investing in myself and my future and securing my future.
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And on the surface of it, it looks like I'm coping.
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Which brings me to the thing I want to talk to you the most about.
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Something you have not made sense of does not sit quietly in the background waiting for you to solve it.
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It keeps rabbit running.
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It's like a tab open somewhere that you cannot see.
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It's still running, it's still drawing power.
25:00
And you know this because you probably experience the other side of it.
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You've been mulling something over, you've been trying to fix something, you're trying to do something, and then you go to the shower or you go for a walk and all of a sudden you get this amazing idea and
25:15
you're like, yeah, I've got it.
25:18
It just pops out of nowhere.
25:19
It's because that tab is still open and it's running the whole time.
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But the flip side is when we've got a lot of tabs open.
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So for instance, if you've had experiences that haven't been resolved, everything feels slow, everything feels heavy.
25:38
Not because you're tired, because there's too much running and taking up too much energy at that time.
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So if you've had a hard life, for instance, you've had a lot of loss, you've had a lot of things happen in all one go.
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You need to close your tabs so that you can make the rest of your life good.
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That's the most important thing you can do over a short period of time.
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Just focus on closing your tabs, get your energy back and go for it.
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Kitty Klein and Adrian Bowles measured this in 2001.
26:09
They tested working memory capacity in students they had some write about a difficult experience and others write about something trivial.
26:19
Yeah.
26:20
Seven weeks later, not long really, if you think about it seven weeks later, less than two months, just think how many things you've been carrying for maybe 20 years or so.
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The ones who had written about the hard stuff had measurably more working memory capacity and measurably less intrusive thinking.
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Now this is so important for you.
26:44
Overthinkers that are listening to me hear this second part.
26:47
And I know you're probably an overthinker because you're quite analytical if you're listening to me.
26:53
Me and you, we're similar.
26:54
I have overthought things to the point of nearly driving myself mad.
26:59
Like, oh my God, please stop thinking about that.
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Stop it.
27:03
Stop going on about it.
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And then I find myself thinking about it 10 minutes later or moaning about something.
27:10
And it was like an addiction.
27:12
The capacity came back for those people that actually looked at writing about the things that were hard.
27:22
Yeah.
27:22
And it was not a feeling they reported.
27:25
It was measured.
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And here is, it is in detail so we can make use of it.
27:32
The people who improved most were not the ones describing how bad things were.
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They weren't venting.
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This is why, just venting and venting and venting.
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It doesn't help talking about the same thing for 10 years.
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They were the ones, what the researchers called.
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They used cause and insight words.
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The ones that kind of worked out okay, what's going on and why it's going on.
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Not why is this happening to me.
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Inventing.
28:04
That's just keeping the tabs open because you can go around and around in circles.
28:08
This is really important.
28:10
It's actually looking at.
28:11
It's more the.
28:12
Using the medial prefrontal cortex where you are actually becoming self aware, which is the whole thing really.
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Nobody can hand you your worth by telling you how brilliant you are.
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You cannot tell yourself either.
28:28
The research says that it makes it worse.
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You have to experience it.
28:34
When you stop spending all your capacity holding something open first we need to go back and close all our tabs.
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That's what I'm saying.
28:47
Before you can feel the space to be able to move forward and move forward in a much quicker and easier way so you can get to a point where, hey, I love it, I love my life now.
29:01
Not writing a list of how unfair life is and not a positive statement about yourself either.
29:08
It's actually looking at what happened, why it happened the way it did.
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Look at the cause and insight so that it's not.
29:14
You're not blaming yourself or blaming anyone else.
29:18
It's not about that.
29:19
In fact, all the Research that I've seen that really has made a difference not only in my life, but to every single client I've seen that is really done well.
29:29
Like people that have been in toxic relationships, just broken in every single way, and then they come out getting jobs three times more like than what they were earning.
29:39
They're the ones that are really not blaming themselves, but actually building their self value through compassion, through self love, through self worth.
29:50
So self compassion is not a decoration.
29:54
It's not positive thinking, is not that at all.
29:57
It's actually allowing yourself to see, hear and acknowledge the stress so that your brain can help you close that tab.
30:09
Okay, so there's two things.
30:12
Gabriel Ranfadsky found that crossing from one place to another makes what was in the previous place harder to retrieve.
30:22
So our brain kind of like packages experience into events and as you move through one threshold, it closes the other one.
30:32
So just moving just so the room that you're sitting in right now or the place that you're at is holding this moment open.
30:42
And what Epizo and Squarts at Stanford found was that walking improved divergent thinking for about 81% of people.
30:53
Divergent thinking is generating options and seeing something in more than one way.
30:59
And it did almost nothing for arriving at a single right answer.
31:06
So walking will not hand you the answer.
31:08
Okay?
31:09
It will give you more than one way of seeing things.
31:14
So if you are feeling stressed, say if someone, you get a text, you get a email, do not respond, do not think you have to do something straight away.
31:24
Get up, go get a glass of water, move out of the room, go around the block, go for a walk.
31:30
If you can get 80, because it works for 81% of people and preferably in nature, because that will help your nervous system regulate as well.
31:38
That's.
31:39
There's a lot of research on that as well, because when something gets you knocked sideways, the instruction is not to do not think harder, do not analyze.
31:48
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
31:50
We are not doing that because that's getting you into rumination.
31:53
And one more thing, and this is a personal thing rather than research, okay?
31:57
There's a lot of things happening in the world right now.
31:59
I don't know if you're looking at what's going on with AI, and honestly, I don't know whether we're heading towards something incredibly wonderful or something incredibly frightening.
32:11
And I don't think anyone's got the answer on this.
32:14
But one thing is for sure, we really need to slow things down so we can make Better choices.
32:21
So we're not being reactive.
32:25
Yeah, as the research is showing us already in today's episode.
32:30
But we can be reflective.
32:32
And actually being reflective will help us make better decisions in terms of AI as well.
32:37
And I want to be honest here about where my mind goes.
32:39
And I sometimes wonder whether what happens next is something to do with how we're all willing to show up and do the things that we're here to do.
32:51
Every single one of us has got something really, truly unique and something incredible to put out in the world.
32:57
And anyone that doesn't believe it is just being held back by their own personal limitations.
33:03
It's literally that there's nothing else.
33:05
So you've got some, basically a lot of tabs open right now that's stopping you from moving forward.
33:11
That's the only reason.
33:12
If you don't believe that, you've got something incredible to do.
33:16
And there's a lot of people who, if you look at a lot of spiritual people out there that are talking about, hey, we're moving into a different world and we all need to increase our vibration if we want
33:30
to get to that new world.
33:31
And we all need to do it.
33:33
I'm not dressing it up as science, but this is what I think.
33:37
What I notice is that it makes me want to stop waiting and allowing my limitations to stop me.
33:45
Because you do have something to give.
33:47
And the version of you that is spending everything on proving your worth to someone who's never going to see it has basically nothing to give to the world that is actually needing it so that we can then maybe
34:06
vibe higher.
34:07
So if you're a decent human being, maybe you're an empath, stop caring about anybody else and start closing your tabs down.
34:15
That's making you want to people, please, in the first place, stop getting reactive and start getting reflective so that you can then really think about, hey, how am I going to make a difference to the world?
34:27
Because we need you right now to help the vibration of the world change so that we, as a collective start making better decisions.
34:38
Because this is powerful thing called AI.
34:40
And there's all these other people who are in power that need to really think about humanity as a whole.
34:47
And you are important.
34:48
If you think you're not, I promise you, you are.
34:51
And we need you.
34:53
So if you're proving harder and harder right now, this is what I want to leave you with.
34:58
You did not choose most of that.
35:01
You didn't choose the family or the experience and say, hey, please limit me.
35:06
You didn't choose the people that didn't treat you well.
35:09
And hey, that experience let me have less self belief in myself.
35:14
But what you lost was not the job or the relationship or the place or the house or the that really was anything to do with your worth.
35:25
And proving isn't a weakness, it's a strategy most of us were taught.
35:29
And people pleasing I think is a societal issue as we saw from the Indian wedding scenario.
35:36
But all of that is gripping us and it's costing us, it's costing you and it's costing humanity as a whole.
35:43
And you cannot think your way out of it either because the part of your brain that thinks is turned down and nobody is telling you or nobody can tell you that you're worthy.
35:54
Not me, not a book, not the mirror.
35:57
You know, at seven in the morning and doing your affirmations, you have to experience it and you have to close down the tabs that are telling you that old experience is true and that your value isn't good enough.
36:09
And you have to experience it by putting down everything you're carrying that's taking up space and is stopping you from really going in and being the best version of yourself.
36:21
And if you want to know where you're being held back, there's a quick three minute quiz amandcore.com that's kind of where I am, trying to do my bit for humanity.
36:34
Find out what's stopping you and do something about it.
36:38
Change your life because we need you.
36:40
And if this has landed, please do rate the show.
36:44
It's the single most useful thing you can do to help somebody else find it and maybe it will make a difference to all of us if we do this.
36:51
I'm sending you so much love.
36:54
Be kind to yourself this week.
36:56
Raise your vibration, use love and I'll see you next time.