Latest / Notes to Her / Note 45: You + You — Learning to Enjoy Your Own Company
Transcript
- 0:18Hey,
- 0:18welcome
- 0:19back
- 0:19to
- 0:19Notes
- 0:19to
- 0:19Her,
- 0:19the
- 0:20daily
- 0:20pep
- 0:20talk.
- 0:21Now
- 0:21this
- 0:21one
- 0:21means
- 0:21a
- 0:22lot
- 0:22to
- 0:22me
- 0:23because
- 0:23today
- 0:23we're
- 0:24talking
- 0:24about
- 0:24something
- 0:24that
- 0:25doesn't
- 0:25get
- 0:25enough
- 0:25love.
- 0:27And
- 0:27that's
- 0:27learning
- 0:27how
- 0:27to
- 0:28enjoy
- 0:28your
- 0:29own
- 0:29company.
- 0:30Not
- 0:31tolerate
- 0:31it,
- 0:32not
- 0:32distract
- 0:32yourself
- 0:33through
- 0:33it,
- 0:34not
- 0:34fill
- 0:34every
- 0:35quiet
- 0:35moment
- 0:35with
- 0:35noise,
- 0:36people
- 0:36or
- 0:36scrolling,
- 0:37but
- 0:38actually
- 0:38enjoy
- 0:39being
- 0:39with
- 0:40you.
- 0:41Because
- 0:41if
- 0:41you
- 0:41don't
- 0:41like
- 0:42being
- 0:42alone
- 0:42with
- 0:42yourself,
- 0:43that
- 0:43shows
- 0:43up
- 0:44everywhere.
- 0:45It
- 0:45shows
- 0:45up
- 0:45in
- 0:46the
- 0:46relationships
- 0:46that
- 0:46you
- 0:47choose,
- 0:48the
- 0:48standards
- 0:48that
- 0:49you
- 0:49tolerate,
- 0:49the
- 0:50way
- 0:50you
- 0:50avoid
- 0:51stillness,
- 0:52the
- 0:52way
- 0:53you
- 0:53stay
- 0:53busy
- 0:53so
- 0:53that
- 0:54you
- 0:54don't
- 0:54have
- 0:54to
- 0:54sit
- 0:55with
- 0:55your
- 0:55own
- 0:55thoughts.
- 0:57And
- 0:57let
- 0:57me
- 0:57say
- 0:57this,
- 0:58learning
- 0:58to
- 0:58enjoy
- 0:59your
- 0:59own
- 0:59company
- 0:59is
- 1:00not
- 1:00about
- 1:00becoming
- 1:00independent
- 1:01to
- 1:01the
- 1:01point
- 1:01of
- 1:02isolation.
- 1:02It's
- 1:03not
- 1:03that.
- 1:03It's
- 1:04about
- 1:04becoming
- 1:04so
- 1:05grounded
- 1:05with
- 1:05yourself
- 1:06that
- 1:06you
- 1:06don't
- 1:06use
- 1:06people,
- 1:07relationships
- 1:08or
- 1:08distractions
- 1:09to
- 1:09avoid
- 1:10yourself.
- 1:11So
- 1:11let's
- 1:11talk
- 1:11about
- 1:12it.
- 1:22Now.
- 1:22For
- 1:23a
- 1:23lot
- 1:23of
- 1:23women,
- 1:24being
- 1:24alone
- 1:25feels
- 1:25uncomfortable.
- 1:26Not
- 1:27because
- 1:27they
- 1:27don't
- 1:27like
- 1:27themselves,
- 1:28but
- 1:28because
- 1:28they
- 1:29were
- 1:29never
- 1:29taught
- 1:29how
- 1:30to
- 1:30be
- 1:30with
- 1:30themselves.
- 1:32So
- 1:32instead
- 1:33they
- 1:33stay
- 1:33busy.
- 1:34There's
- 1:34noise,
- 1:35schedules,
- 1:36work,
- 1:37people,
- 1:38constant
- 1:38movement.
- 1:39Because
- 1:40stillness
- 1:40forces
- 1:41you
- 1:41to
- 1:41sit
- 1:41with
- 1:41your
- 1:41own
- 1:42thoughts,
- 1:42your
- 1:42feelings,
- 1:43your
- 1:44unmet
- 1:44needs,
- 1:45your
- 1:45desires
- 1:45that
- 1:46you've
- 1:46been
- 1:46ignoring.
- 1:48And
- 1:48if
- 1:48you
- 1:49spend
- 1:49most
- 1:49of
- 1:49your
- 1:49life
- 1:50putting
- 1:50everyone
- 1:50else
- 1:51first,
- 1:51being
- 1:52alone
- 1:52can
- 1:52feel
- 1:52awkward,
- 1:53lonely,
- 1:54or
- 1:54even
- 1:54unsafe.
- 1:55Especially
- 1:56if
- 1:56you
- 1:56were
- 1:56praised
- 1:57for
- 1:57being
- 1:57useful,
- 1:58helpful,
- 1:59strong.
- 2:00Especially
- 2:00if
- 2:00you
- 2:00went
- 2:01through
- 2:01rest,
- 2:01was
- 2:01lazy,
- 2:02and
- 2:03being
- 2:03still
- 2:03meant
- 2:03that
- 2:04you
- 2:04were
- 2:04falling
- 2:04behind.
- 2:06Well,
- 2:06let
- 2:06me
- 2:06say
- 2:07this.
- 2:07Discomfort
- 2:08does
- 2:08not
- 2:08mean
- 2:08that
- 2:09something
- 2:09is
- 2:09wrong
- 2:11most
- 2:11of
- 2:11the
- 2:11time.
- 2:11It
- 2:11means
- 2:12that
- 2:12something
- 2:12is
- 2:12trying
- 2:13to
- 2:13surface.
- 2:14And
- 2:14instead
- 2:14of
- 2:15running
- 2:15from
- 2:15that
- 2:15feeling,
- 2:16this
- 2:16is
- 2:16where
- 2:16self
- 2:17love
- 2:17begins.
- 2:18Not
- 2:18in
- 2:18fixing
- 2:19yourself,
- 2:19but
- 2:20in
- 2:20staying
- 2:20with
- 2:21yourself.
- 2:22Now,
- 2:23there's
- 2:23a
- 2:23big
- 2:23difference
- 2:23between
- 2:24loneliness
- 2:24and
- 2:25solitude.
- 2:26Loneliness
- 2:27is
- 2:27feeling
- 2:28disconnected
- 2:28from
- 2:29yourself.
- 2:29Solitude
- 2:30is
- 2:30being
- 2:31connected
- 2:31to
- 2:31yourself.
- 2:32You
- 2:32can
- 2:33feel
- 2:33lonely
- 2:33in
- 2:34a
- 2:34room
- 2:34full
- 2:34of
- 2:34people
- 2:35and
- 2:35you
- 2:35can
- 2:36feel
- 2:36peace
- 2:37completely
- 2:38alone.
- 2:39Loneliness
- 2:40sounds
- 2:40like
- 2:40I
- 2:40don't
- 2:41feel
- 2:41seen,
- 2:42I
- 2:42don't
- 2:42feel
- 2:43chosen,
- 2:44I
- 2:44don't
- 2:44feel
- 2:44enough
- 2:46solitude.
- 2:47Sounds
- 2:47like
- 2:48I'm
- 2:48okay
- 2:49right
- 2:49here.
- 2:50I
- 2:50enjoy
- 2:50my
- 2:51own
- 2:51thoughts,
- 2:52I
- 2:52trust
- 2:52myself.
- 2:54And
- 2:54that's
- 2:55the
- 2:55part
- 2:55that
- 2:55people
- 2:55don't
- 2:56talk
- 2:56about
- 2:56enough.
- 2:57Enjoying
- 2:58your
- 2:58own
- 2:58company
- 2:59is
- 2:59a
- 2:59form
- 2:59of
- 3:00self
- 3:00trust.
- 3:01It
- 3:01says
- 3:02I
- 3:02don't
- 3:02need
- 3:02external
- 3:03validation
- 3:03to
- 3:04feel
- 3:04whole.
- 3:05And
- 3:05when
- 3:05you
- 3:05stop
- 3:06choosing
- 3:06from
- 3:07emptiness,
- 3:08everything
- 3:08else
- 3:09shifts.
- 3:10You
- 3:10choose
- 3:10your
- 3:10friends
- 3:11differently,
- 3:11you
- 3:12choose
- 3:12your
- 3:12partners
- 3:13differently,
- 3:13you
- 3:14choose
- 3:14opportunities
- 3:15differently.
- 3:16Because
- 3:16now
- 3:16you're
- 3:17not
- 3:17trying
- 3:17to
- 3:17escape
- 3:18yourself,
- 3:18you're
- 3:19choosing
- 3:19from
- 3:19fullness.
- 3:21Learning
- 3:22to
- 3:22enjoy
- 3:22your
- 3:22own
- 3:22company
- 3:23doesn't
- 3:23mean
- 3:23that
- 3:24you
- 3:24stop
- 3:24wanting
- 3:24connection.
- 3:25It
- 3:25Means
- 3:26you
- 3:26stop
- 3:26using
- 3:26people
- 3:27to
- 3:27fill
- 3:27voids.
- 3:28And
- 3:29for
- 3:29me,
- 3:29one
- 3:29of
- 3:29the
- 3:30biggest
- 3:30ways
- 3:30that
- 3:30I
- 3:30have
- 3:30learned
- 3:31to
- 3:31enjoy
- 3:31my
- 3:31own
- 3:32company
- 3:32is
- 3:32through
- 3:32my
- 3:33solo
- 3:33trips.
- 3:35I
- 3:35take
- 3:35at
- 3:35least
- 3:35one
- 3:36solo
- 3:36trip
- 3:37a
- 3:37year
- 3:37intentionally.
- 3:38Not
- 3:38because
- 3:39I'm
- 3:39running
- 3:39from
- 3:39people,
- 3:40but
- 3:40because
- 3:40I
- 3:40want
- 3:41time
- 3:41to
- 3:41reconnect
- 3:41with
- 3:42me.
- 3:43Those
- 3:43trips
- 3:43are
- 3:43where
- 3:43I
- 3:44slow
- 3:44down,
- 3:45all
- 3:45the
- 3:45way
- 3:46down,
- 3:46and
- 3:46I
- 3:46reflect
- 3:47on
- 3:47what
- 3:47I've
- 3:47accomplished,
- 3:48what
- 3:48I'm
- 3:49proud
- 3:49of,
- 3:50what
- 3:50I
- 3:50want
- 3:50to
- 3:50continue
- 3:51working
- 3:51on,
- 3:51and
- 3:52what
- 3:52no
- 3:52longer
- 3:52fits.
- 3:53Sometimes
- 3:54I'll
- 3:54plan
- 3:54excursions
- 3:55or
- 3:55experiences,
- 3:56yes.
- 3:56But
- 3:56there's
- 3:57moments
- 3:57where
- 3:57I
- 3:57plan
- 3:58nothing
- 3:58at
- 3:58all.
- 3:59Just
- 3:59me.
- 4:00My
- 4:00thoughts,
- 4:01my
- 4:01journal,
- 4:02my
- 4:03music,
- 4:03my
- 4:03vision.
- 4:06And
- 4:06what
- 4:06I've
- 4:06learned
- 4:07is
- 4:07this.
- 4:07When
- 4:07you
- 4:08give
- 4:08yourself
- 4:08space
- 4:09without
- 4:09distraction,
- 4:10you
- 4:10start
- 4:11to
- 4:11hear
- 4:11yourself
- 4:11again.
- 4:12You
- 4:12remember
- 4:13what
- 4:13you
- 4:13want.
- 4:14You
- 4:14reconnect
- 4:15with
- 4:15your
- 4:15intuition.
- 4:16You
- 4:17realize
- 4:17you
- 4:17actually
- 4:18enjoy
- 4:18your
- 4:18own
- 4:19energy.
- 4:20And
- 4:20that
- 4:20kind
- 4:21of
- 4:21self
- 4:21connection.
- 4:22It
- 4:22makes
- 4:23you
- 4:23less
- 4:23likely
- 4:23to
- 4:24settle,
- 4:24less
- 4:25likely
- 4:25to
- 4:25tolerate
- 4:26misalignment,
- 4:27less
- 4:27likely
- 4:28to
- 4:28choose
- 4:28relationships
- 4:29that
- 4:29don't
- 4:29feel
- 4:30good.
- 4:31Because
- 4:31when
- 4:31you
- 4:31know
- 4:31how
- 4:32to
- 4:32be
- 4:32with
- 4:32yourself,
- 4:33you
- 4:33stop
- 4:33choosing
- 4:34people
- 4:34just
- 4:34to
- 4:34avoid
- 4:35being
- 4:35alone.
- 4:38Now,
- 4:38I
- 4:38want
- 4:38to
- 4:38give
- 4:38you
- 4:39a
- 4:39few
- 4:39ways
- 4:39to
- 4:39start
- 4:39building
- 4:40that
- 4:40relationship
- 4:40with
- 4:40yourself
- 4:41without
- 4:41forcing
- 4:42anything.
- 4:43It
- 4:43can
- 4:43be
- 4:43as
- 4:43simple
- 4:44as
- 4:44taking
- 4:44yourself
- 4:45out
- 4:45without
- 4:45your
- 4:46phone
- 4:46glued
- 4:46in
- 4:47your
- 4:47hand.
- 4:48Let
- 4:48yourself
- 4:49notice
- 4:49what
- 4:49you
- 4:50enjoy.
- 4:51Or
- 4:51how
- 4:51about
- 4:52sitting
- 4:52in
- 4:52silence
- 4:52for
- 4:53a
- 4:53few
- 4:53minutes
- 4:53without
- 4:53rushing
- 4:54to
- 4:54distract.
- 4:56Notice
- 4:56what
- 4:56comes
- 4:56up
- 4:57without
- 4:57judgment.
- 4:59Journaling.
- 4:59Honestly,
- 5:00not
- 5:00productively.
- 5:02You
- 5:02don't
- 5:02need
- 5:02an
- 5:02outcome,
- 5:03just
- 5:03the
- 5:04truth.
- 5:04I
- 5:05find
- 5:05journaling
- 5:05to
- 5:06be
- 5:06so
- 5:06freeing
- 5:07because
- 5:07sometimes
- 5:07there's
- 5:08so
- 5:08many
- 5:08thoughts
- 5:09that
- 5:09are
- 5:09in
- 5:09my
- 5:10head
- 5:10and
- 5:10being
- 5:11able
- 5:11to
- 5:11write
- 5:11them
- 5:11down
- 5:12and
- 5:12just
- 5:12get
- 5:12them
- 5:12out
- 5:13makes
- 5:13me
- 5:14feel
- 5:14so
- 5:15much
- 5:15more
- 5:16free.
- 5:18How
- 5:18about
- 5:18speaking
- 5:19to
- 5:19yourself
- 5:19kindly,
- 5:20even
- 5:20on
- 5:20the
- 5:20hard
- 5:21days?
- 5:22Especially
- 5:23on
- 5:23the
- 5:23hard
- 5:23days.
- 5:25And
- 5:25here's
- 5:25something
- 5:25that
- 5:26I
- 5:26really
- 5:26want
- 5:26you
- 5:26to
- 5:26hear.
- 5:27You
- 5:28don't
- 5:28have
- 5:28to
- 5:28love
- 5:28every
- 5:29part
- 5:29of
- 5:29yourself
- 5:30to
- 5:30enjoy
- 5:30your
- 5:31presence.
- 5:32You
- 5:32just
- 5:32have
- 5:33to
- 5:33stay.
- 5:34Stay
- 5:34when
- 5:35it's
- 5:35quiet.
- 5:36Stay
- 5:36when
- 5:37it's
- 5:37uncomfortable.
- 5:38Stay
- 5:39when
- 5:39the
- 5:39urge
- 5:39to
- 5:40distract
- 5:40kicks
- 5:41in.
- 5:42Because
- 5:42the
- 5:42more
- 5:42that
- 5:42you
- 5:43stay
- 5:43with
- 5:43yourself,
- 5:43the
- 5:44safer
- 5:44you
- 5:45become
- 5:45to
- 5:45yourself.
- 5:46And
- 5:47that
- 5:47changes
- 5:47everything.
- 5:48Everything.
- 5:50Now
- 5:50here's
- 5:51the
- 5:51truth.
- 5:52The
- 5:52better
- 5:52your
- 5:53relationship
- 5:53with
- 5:53yourself,
- 5:54the
- 5:54healthier
- 5:55every
- 5:55other
- 5:56relationship
- 5:57becomes.
- 5:59This
- 5:59is
- 5:59one
- 5:59of
- 6:00those
- 6:00notes
- 6:00that
- 6:01you
- 6:01don't
- 6:01need
- 6:01to
- 6:01rush
- 6:02past.
- 6:02You
- 6:03need
- 6:03to
- 6:03sit
- 6:03with
- 6:03it,
- 6:04save
- 6:05it,
- 6:05come
- 6:06back
- 6:06to
- 6:06it.
- 6:08And
- 6:08if
- 6:08you
- 6:08know
- 6:08a
- 6:08woman
- 6:09who's
- 6:09learning
- 6:09how
- 6:09to
- 6:09choose
- 6:10herself,
- 6:10who's
- 6:11tired
- 6:11of
- 6:11filling
- 6:12up
- 6:12space
- 6:12just
- 6:12to
- 6:13avoid
- 6:13being
- 6:13alone,
- 6:14share
- 6:14this
- 6:15with
- 6:15her.
- 6:16Because
- 6:16learning
- 6:16to
- 6:17enjoy
- 6:17your
- 6:17own
- 6:17company
- 6:18is
- 6:18one
- 6:18of
- 6:18the
- 6:18most
- 6:19powerful
- 6:19forms
- 6:20of
- 6:20self
- 6:20love
- 6:21there
- 6:21is.
- 6:23Again,
- 6:23I
- 6:24want
- 6:24to
- 6:24invite
- 6:24you
- 6:24to
- 6:25join
- 6:25my
- 6:255
- 6:26day
- 6:26self
- 6:27love
- 6:27Challenge.
- 6:28It
- 6:28is
- 6:28called
- 6:28her
- 6:29Error,
- 6:30the
- 6:30Self
- 6:31Love
- 6:32Reset.
- 6:34In
- 6:34it,
- 6:34we
- 6:35are
- 6:35going
- 6:35to
- 6:35work
- 6:35on
- 6:36rebuilding
- 6:37that
- 6:37relationship
- 6:38with
- 6:38yourself.
- 6:38Learning
- 6:39to
- 6:39like
- 6:40yourself
- 6:41because
- 6:41you
- 6:41are
- 6:42allowed
- 6:42to
- 6:42like
- 6:43yourself.
- 6:43You
- 6:44are
- 6:44allowed
- 6:44to
- 6:44enjoy
- 6:45your
- 6:45own
- 6:45presence
- 6:46and
- 6:46you
- 6:46are
- 6:46allowed
- 6:47to
- 6:47be
- 6:47your
- 6:48own
- 6:48safe
- 6:49place.
- 6:50And
- 6:50if
- 6:50you're
- 6:51ready
- 6:51to
- 6:51explore
- 6:51this
- 6:52more,
- 6:52if
- 6:52you're
- 6:52ready
- 6:53to
- 6:53stop
- 6:53shrinking
- 6:54and
- 6:54start
- 6:54choosing
- 6:55you,
- 6:55I'd
- 6:56love
- 6:56to
- 6:56invite
- 6:56you
- 6:56to
- 6:57my
- 6:57free
- 6:57five
- 6:58day
- 6:58self
- 6:58love
- 6:59challenge
- 6:59starting
- 6:59February
- 7:0023rd.
- 7:01You
- 7:01can
- 7:01find
- 7:01out
- 7:02more
- 7:02details
- 7:03in
- 7:03the
- 7:03show
- 7:03notes.
- 7:04And
- 7:04remember,
- 7:05you
- 7:05are
- 7:05worthy
- 7:06of
- 7:06a
- 7:06life
- 7:06that
- 7:07feels
- 7:07good
- 7:07on
- 7:07the
- 7:07inside
- 7:08and
- 7:09always
- 7:09happen.