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Katie Zacharia Cringefest & Trump's Attraction to Handsome Men · Breaking Absurdity — Today's Top Headlines That Can't Be Unheard. Brought to you by @ItsNotSatire.

• 0:00
  Katie Zacharias' first press conference was an
• 0:02
  unmitigated cringe fest. She couldn't even tell
• 0:04
  the difference between the president and her
• 0:06
  husband. And Donald Trump appears to be lusting
• 0:09
  after male senators' athletic bodies. In today's
• 0:15
  breaking absurdity, JD Vance takes a homophobic
• 0:18
  swipe at James Tallarico, despite a rather spicy
• 0:20
  old tweet of his own that's just resurfaced.
• 0:23
  And Donald Trump's rally speeches are becoming
• 0:25
  increasingly unhinged, with the empty seats suggesting
• 0:28
  his audiences might be losing interest. First
• 0:31
  up today, it was a tough first day for Katie.
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  Everything looked to be going smoothly at first.
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  Here she is walking out to a packed press room
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  with reporters eager to ask questions. Good morning.
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  Why do I feel this sense of dread? I am so honored
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  to work for President Trump and the American
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  people as the new White House press secretary.
• 0:55
  I want to thank President Trump. For his trust
• 0:59
  that he has placed in me. I have wanted to work
• 1:04
  for him for a very long time Oh, I see. She's
• 1:07
  activated North Korean propaganda mode. Why is
• 1:10
  choice Katie? Let's see what else she does with
• 1:12
  it to build a to build eight large -scale Nuclear
• 1:17
  power plants just like he delivers on every promise
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  Cringe in addition to that we will be we will
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  be do it. Yeah, there is 54 billion dollars Whoa,
• 1:29
  Katie, I'm gonna have to stop you right there.
• 1:31
  I think you came with the wrong internet connection.
• 1:33
  You seem to be on 1990s dial -up instead of Wi
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  -Fi. Let me show you what I mean. And something
• 1:39
  President Trump is delivering on, just like he
• 1:42
  delivers on every promise. In addition to that,
• 1:48
  we will be, yeah, there is $54 billion tied to
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  the Alaska LNG pipeline and terminal to service
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  the Pacific Rim. Yeah, I just don't think we're
• 2:00
  gonna get anywhere with that connection. Why
• 2:02
  don't we try some questions from the press? Katie
• 2:05
  explained to the press how she's gonna balance
• 2:07
  work and home life. The idea of not spending
• 2:09
  evenings with my kids is completely unacceptable.
• 2:14
  So my president, excuse me, my husband. Oh. That's
• 2:18
  a good one. My husband is out here. Apparently
• 2:21
  that cringe was so bad, even the phone lines
• 2:24
  crashed. Our family and we are very, very protective
• 2:27
  of celebrating birthdays as a family. So he brought
• 2:29
  the entire crew out here and blessed him. It's
• 2:32
  a lot. Clearly we can see it's a lot. So what
• 2:36
  else do you have for us, Katie? The president
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  will be back on Thursday and that's what I will
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  answer. I'll leave it there. That's it? That's
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  all you got? He will answer those questions in
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  what? Wow, you can literally hear the bewilderment
• 2:57
  of the press. That was only 14 minutes. They've
• 3:00
  never been to a press conference so short, so
• 3:03
  unhelpful and so abrupt before. And immediately
• 3:07
  thereafter, people had thoughts. Because, of
• 3:10
  course they did. There was a reaction from mainstream
• 3:13
  media. Tonight our sources say that several White
• 3:15
  House officials are already questioning how long
• 3:18
  Katie Zachariah will remain in her job as the
• 3:20
  White House Press Secretary following her first
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  briefing. To the Internet meme machine. And I
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  believe that our education, like such as in South
• 3:30
  Africa and Iraq. That's right, the Internet took
• 3:33
  one look at Katie's press conference and it reminded
• 3:36
  them of this South Carolina beauty pageant fail.
• 3:39
  Iraq everywhere like such as and I believe that
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  they should Our education over here in the u
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  .s Should help the u .s or should help south
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  africa and should help the iraq and the asian
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  countries Oh dear on her very first day of work
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  She's already become a laughing stock of the
• 3:58
  internet and brian krassenstein on x had a great
• 4:00
  way of putting it He gave her 0 .5 scaramuchis
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  Well, maybe the president can clear this up for
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  her Here he is commenting on her performance
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  right in front of her. Trump says she was very
• 4:13
  good. If you say so, sir. So the press are asking
• 4:22
  President Trump, where did Katie Zachariah pass
• 4:24
  the bar exam? China? Looks like she said China
• 4:33
  again. I think this cleanup act has only muddied
• 4:37
  the waters even further. In fact, the internet
• 4:39
  reacted pretty quickly before we knew it this
• 4:42
  meme was created saying that Katie Zachariah
• 4:45
  passed the Tmoo bar exam. I knew they had pretty
• 4:49
  much everything on Tmoo, but I didn't know they
• 4:51
  had that. Going back to Brian Krasenstein's .5
• 4:55
  Scaramucci rating, Scaramucci served about 10
• 4:58
  to 11 days. So if we apply our Scaramucci math
• 5:01
  formula, we're looking here about five to six
• 5:04
  days tops. Welcome aboard, Katie. Don't get too
• 5:08
  comfortable. One of the few things Katie talked
• 5:11
  about at her press conference was how successful
• 5:13
  all of Trump's midterm rallies were going. So
• 5:16
  I thought it'd be interesting to take a look
• 5:17
  at some of the footage. Here's one clip that
• 5:20
  stood out. And I don't do this with men very
• 5:22
  often. I started examining his body because I
• 5:25
  didn't know he was a great athlete. And I looked
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  and I watched up and down. I looked at his ass
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  and I looked at the hole. Wait, what is he talking
• 5:34
  about? Is he talking about looking at the senator
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  or one of his magazines? And then I looked at
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  his hands. Look at his hands. He's got these
• 5:42
  like claws. And I got it. You are a great athlete.
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  I didn't know that because he doesn't talk about
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  that. So Trump was ogling John Husted, Senator
• 5:56
  of Ohio. And here they are together. Granted,
• 6:00
  he is a handsome man, but I just didn't know
• 6:02
  this much about what Trump was into. This wasn't
• 6:05
  the first time recently that Trump had been expressing
• 6:08
  his admiration for the male form. I think they
• 6:19
  were from Oklahoma. Come on up here, fellas.
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  Come here. Wow. Wow. I don't know what we're
• 6:30
  in for here. Okay. I guess everybody has a type.
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  Boy, oh boy. That's the real deal. Those are
• 6:42
  real. Those are real people. Those are real people.
• 6:46
  Um is it just me or do those guys get downgraded?
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  He said they were big strong handsome guys and
• 6:53
  once they came up on stage and left they got
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  downgraded to real people. Well they do say that
• 6:59
  Trump destroys everything he touches so I just
• 7:02
  want to advise to those guys please go to your
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  doctor immediately and make sure you're in good
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  health. And moving to JD Vance. JD Vance appeared
• 7:11
  at a rally and just wanted to make sure everybody
• 7:13
  knew that he was straight. Now before we get
• 7:16
  started, I love you too, sir. In a totally platonic
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  way. Why would anyone assume that JD Vance meant
• 7:23
  that he loved that man in a different way other
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  than platonic? To be clear. And it occurred to
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  me that JD Vance is probably saying this because
• 7:32
  an old tweet surfaced from a few years ago. The
• 7:35
  tweet allegedly said, girls are right all along.
• 7:38
  The big ones really do hurt like hell. Now I
• 7:40
  can't independently verify that tweet. But you
• 7:43
  know what they say, the lady doth protest too
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  much. Wow, JD. What I think is funny about this
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  is he thinks that's an insult. But actually,
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  if he were James Tallarico, that would be a massive
• 8:01
  upgrade for JD Vance. What do y 'all think of
• 8:04
  this crack? I think it was a really cheap shot.
• 8:06
  Let me know in the comments what you think about
• 8:08
  JD Vance's jokes about James Tallarico. Thanks
• 8:13
  for watching Breaking Absurdity, and remember,
• 8:15
  don't stare into the abyss alone, let's do it
• 8:17
  together. Like, subscribe, and leave a comment
• 8:20
  below. Let me know what you thought about this
• 8:22
  episode, I want to hear from you.