Latest / Free & Well: Stop Overthinking, Feel Confident AF & Start Living Your Live Using Psychology, Faith & Nervous System Habits / 309 | my favorite psychology backed mindset tool to get out of an overthinking spiral (as an anxiety therapist)
Transcript
- 0:00[SPEAKER_00]: Hey friend, welcome to the podcast.
- 0:02[SPEAKER_00]: So glad you're here.
- 0:04[SPEAKER_01]: So today, I'm going to be sharing with you a quick little shift that has been so impactful for me.
- 0:10[SPEAKER_01]: And within my journey of being a therapist, learning how to navigate my own anxiety, my own insecurities, myself doubt.
- 0:29[SPEAKER_01]: And how I personally love to describe this is it's getting so clear on who you want to be, how you want to show up in life, and then it's learning how to be really present for your life, be really present.
- 0:46[SPEAKER_01]: in the moments, in the emotions, to be present and be able to experience things, and to be able to do the things that really matter, to do the things that are really aligned with who you want to be, how you want to show up.
- 1:02[SPEAKER_01]: That's how I love to describe acceptance and commitment therapy.
- 1:06[SPEAKER_01]: And my approach is a blend of a lot of different things, but this is one of the very big pieces.
- 1:12[SPEAKER_01]: And why I fell in love with this approach and why it's become such a huge part is...
- 1:22[SPEAKER_01]: it really has just allowed me to instead of like battling thoughts and that's what I used to do.
- 1:29[SPEAKER_01]: I used to battle and you know, I would fight my anxiety, I would challenge my anxious thoughts and for some people that works and that's amazing.
- 1:37[SPEAKER_01]: But for me,
- 1:39[SPEAKER_01]: Learning tools about more so how do I lovingly sat my anxiety and the passenger seat where I'm not really fighting with it I'm not really arguing with it.
- 1:52[SPEAKER_01]: I'm just kind of noticing it and then I'm lovingly setting it in the passenger seat so that I I'm in the driver seat
- 2:04[SPEAKER_00]: Hey friend, welcome to the free while podcast.
- 2:06[SPEAKER_00]: If you're tired of feeling anxious and all the overthinking, if you're ready to feel more calm and confident, to start trying new things and being more of your true authentic self, this is the podcast for you.
- 2:19[SPEAKER_00]: My name is Devani, I'm an anxiety therapist, confidence coach and yoga teacher.
- 2:23[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here to help you who's faith yoga and mental wellness to create daily healthy habits, start feeling more confident in your own skin and creating your best life.
- 2:35[SPEAKER_00]: Grab your ice coffee and your journal.
- 2:37[SPEAKER_00]: Let's go.
- 2:47[SPEAKER_01]: that has resonated so much more with me and about so much more helpful.
- 2:53[SPEAKER_01]: So what I want to share with you today is a tool that has been so helpful for me, so helpful for me with anxiety, okay?
- 3:04[SPEAKER_01]: So let's just imagine recent scenario.
- 3:07[SPEAKER_01]: I went and hung out with a new friend, right?
- 3:09[SPEAKER_01]: This is our first time hanging out.
- 3:11[SPEAKER_01]: I was feeling a little nervous, like had little moments of nerves come in, what is she thinking?
- 3:17[SPEAKER_01]: She liking me and it's so cool just to notice where
- 3:22[SPEAKER_01]: back like years ago, those things would have taken over, they would have taken over my mind, they would have literally watched me from having a good time because my mind would have then started to completely terminate and spiral on those things.
- 3:37[SPEAKER_01]: Whereas now I have them come in a little bit, but then I have the tools, I know how to unhook from them, I know how to lovingly
- 3:48[SPEAKER_01]: and get back into the moment.
- 3:50[SPEAKER_01]: Get back into, I'm being myself.
- 3:53[SPEAKER_01]: I'm in the moment, I'm having a good time.
- 3:55[SPEAKER_01]: And it's just so amazing to be able to pause and reflect on that growth.
- 3:59[SPEAKER_01]: And I say this, not to say that I'm amazing, not to say, oh my gosh, I've got it, I'll figure it out.
- 4:06[SPEAKER_01]: I say this because I want you to see that if I have done this and I can see this growth in change, you absolutely can see this growth in change.
- 4:16[SPEAKER_01]: right, it's not, it's not just me.
- 4:18[SPEAKER_01]: It's definitely not just me.
- 4:20[SPEAKER_01]: So that's why I'm sharing this.
- 4:21[SPEAKER_01]: But okay, one tool that I have love, love, love, love so much is to use the phrase, my mind is.
- 4:33[SPEAKER_01]: My mind is, okay.
- 4:36[SPEAKER_01]: And what this does is for me, this pulls me out of the weeds with my brain.
- 4:43[SPEAKER_01]: And instead, I'm like five steps back looking at the weeds of what my brain is doing.
- 4:51[SPEAKER_01]: Or another visual I love to share with my clients is this visual of a roller coaster.
- 4:58[SPEAKER_01]: So my mind, if you can imagine that my mind tries to take me on this roller coaster all the time.
- 5:03[SPEAKER_01]: just all the fun thoughts that it's having, all the ideas, you know, helpful, unhelpful, all the things, right?
- 5:09[SPEAKER_01]: My mind is this roller coaster.
- 5:10[SPEAKER_01]: But if you can imagine, when I say something like, ooh, okay, my mind is doing a beer.
- 5:16[SPEAKER_01]: See you right now.
- 5:17[SPEAKER_01]: Wow, wow, wow, I see ya.
- 5:19[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, wow.
- 5:21[SPEAKER_01]: That is literally me getting off of the roller coaster and standing on the platform and watching the roller coaster instead of being in it.
- 5:33[SPEAKER_01]: Instead of being in it, I am standing on the platform and I am seeing it happening.
- 5:40[SPEAKER_01]: and this is something that I have gotten so disciplined with and I love that and this is something that me and my husband even do is like notice and call each other out when this is happening is literally just getting so disciplined with noticing.
- 5:57[SPEAKER_01]: And here's what I'll say, is that with anxiety.
- 6:01[SPEAKER_01]: So with my brain, naturally, airs towards anxious thoughts of worst case scenarios, things that could go wrong.
- 6:11[SPEAKER_01]: And that's just a good thing to be aware of.
- 6:13[SPEAKER_01]: It's just a good thing to be aware of.
- 6:14[SPEAKER_01]: So I'm aware of that within myself.
- 6:17[SPEAKER_01]: And so in these moments, so circling back to this example with I was getting together with a new friend and some of these thoughts come in.
- 6:27[SPEAKER_01]: For me to then say, oh, wow.
- 6:30[SPEAKER_01]: My mind is really imagining the worst case scenario right now.
- 6:35[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, wow, my mind is really exploring my mind is really noticing or it's paying attention to these worst possible scenarios.
- 6:45[SPEAKER_01]: Right?
- 6:45[SPEAKER_01]: Or it's got kind of a negative approach, right now.
- 6:48[SPEAKER_01]: My mind's kind of in a negative space right now.
- 6:50[SPEAKER_01]: Ooh, okay, good to notice, good to notice.
- 6:53[SPEAKER_01]: That's me noticing.
- 6:56[SPEAKER_01]: So instead of me letting my mind take me on that roller coaster of what is she thinking does she like me all of the things?
- 7:05[SPEAKER_01]: I say, oh wow, I'm really noticing, my mind is kind of noticing worst case scenarios, my mind is totally trying to predict or make assumptions right now, my mind is really making some assumptions right now, that's me getting off the roller coaster standing on the platform.
- 7:22[SPEAKER_01]: And then from there, I then get to take a couple breaths and come back into the moment.
- 7:29[SPEAKER_01]: I take a couple breaths and I come back into the moment.
- 7:32[SPEAKER_01]: And here's the thing is that for me, when I named this and my recent podcast episode that for me, I don't want my mind guiding my life.
- 7:43[SPEAKER_01]: I do not want my mind guiding my life.
- 7:45[SPEAKER_01]: My mind is an incredible tool when I'm using it well.
- 7:49[SPEAKER_01]: but a lot of the time it's in survival mode it's just trying to keep me safe it's trying to keep me in the familiar and that's how a lot that's how the brain is wired and that's okay right but I don't want that guiding me.
- 8:04[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want that guiding my decisions, how I show up right now.
- 8:08[SPEAKER_01]: Like if I listened to my brain right now, I probably wouldn't hit publish on this podcast episode.
- 8:14[SPEAKER_01]: I wouldn't be, there are so many things because our brains are wired for survival and safety and familiarity.
- 8:21[SPEAKER_01]: And so I personally don't want my mind guiding.
- 8:25[SPEAKER_01]: I want my spirit to be guiding, right?
- 8:29[SPEAKER_01]: I want to feel like God is guiding my decisions, God's guiding my moves.
- 8:34[SPEAKER_01]: my spirit is guiding me like that's what I want to be guiding where I'm going what I'm visioning the action that I'm taking and so to be able to do that for me to be in the driver's seat I have to lovingly set these thoughts in the passenger seat.
- 8:51[SPEAKER_01]: They can't be driving.
- 8:53[SPEAKER_01]: And so this is one of the ways that I do that up in.
- 8:57[SPEAKER_01]: And it's just been a game changer.
- 8:59[SPEAKER_01]: It has been a game changer.
- 9:00[SPEAKER_01]: Literally just saying, ooh, I'm noticing my mind is doing a BRC.
- 9:04[SPEAKER_01]: I'm noticing this.
- 9:05[SPEAKER_01]: I'm noticing, it's one of my favorite, favorite tools.
- 9:09[SPEAKER_01]: So I hope you find this helpful.
- 9:12[SPEAKER_01]: If you're curious in having a little bit more of a mindfulness practice, if you want some breathing tools that are guided by me, head down and grab your calm audio starter kit, okay?
- 9:24[SPEAKER_01]: It's five audios that you can use any time.
- 9:27[SPEAKER_01]: You need a little bit of peace, a little bit of grounding.
- 9:30[SPEAKER_01]: If you're spiraling, if you're ruminating, you're going to love it.
- 9:34[SPEAKER_01]: This is for you.
- 9:35[SPEAKER_01]: So head down link is below for the calm audio starter kit.
- 9:39[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm so glad you're here, my friend.
- 9:44[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, love, I hope you enjoyed this episode and a quick reminder for you.
- 9:48[SPEAKER_00]: This show is for educational purposes only.
- 9:51[SPEAKER_00]: Information from this show is not a substitute for mental health or medical treatment.
- 9:56[SPEAKER_00]: friend.
- 9:56[SPEAKER_00]: I hope you enjoyed this episode.
- 9:58[SPEAKER_00]: Please share this with a friend who you know would enjoy this or feel free to head over to Instagram and send me a message letting you know what is standing out to you or they loved today's episode.
- 10:10[SPEAKER_00]: I so appreciate you.
- 10:11[SPEAKER_00]: I'm glad that you're here.
- 10:12[SPEAKER_00]: I hope you have a beautiful rest of your day.