Latest / Get It Got It Girl: Midlife Rebuild / Not Every Feeling Requires A Response

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Not Every Feeling Requires A Response · Get It Got It Girl: Midlife Rebuild

• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: If you ever reacted to something in the moment and later you thought, oh, why did I respond like that?
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: This episode is for you.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: Because a lot of times we think we're reacting to the situation, but we're not.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to share something that happened to me just recently.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: It was something small about a shirt.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing major, nothing life-changing.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: But in the moment I felt myself react so quickly, my ears were on fire.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: I was had like this burning sensation all over my body.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: I felt the urge to respond, to fix it, to say something right away.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: And then in that moment, it felt important.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: It felt justified.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: But later, when things were calm, I realized something.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: It wasn't about the shirt.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: It really wasn't.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: And this is what I want you to hear today.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: Most of the time we are not reacting to the thing in front of us.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: How many times have you heard the argument is not about what you're arguing about?
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: Well, we're reacting to what brings it up for us.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: Some old emotions, maybe.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: The shirt brought up old patterns, old stress, and even old conditioning.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: And then it's it feels uncomfortable, and our brain tells us, do something, fix it, respond now.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: That's your brain that's just telling you.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: But here's the truth: not every feeling is a call to action.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: You do not have to respond immediately.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: And some feelings are just about signals, not instructions.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to show you what I'm practicing right now, and what I wanted to show you was what I did.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to try to.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: I call it pause practice.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: This is just some name I came up with, but this is what I actually did.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: The next time you feel that you're you have urgency, the need to respond quickly, even in an argument, or maybe you want to fix something real quick.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: Somebody's doing something, like, oh, I gotta fix this.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, no.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: Explain something or even defend yourself.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: Because how many of us get like that?
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: You're heated, you're ready to go, you're like ready to be like, I did not, I blah, blah, blah.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: Do this.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: Step one.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: This is gonna be hard.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: It is not easy.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: You're going to pause.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: Just take a pause.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: Not forever, just for a moment.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: And then to yourself, you just name like, what am I feeling?
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: What's going on here?
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: What is this bringing up?
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: Why?
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: Why do I feel this way?
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: And you can even say, well, this could be anxiety.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: Something is making me feel anxious, or I'm frustrated.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: You might even be pissed.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: And that's okay.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: I know some of us have been taught that it's not okay to show your anger, but you know what?
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: You can't keep that bottle inside.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe it's discomfort, or maybe you feel like a sense of urgency.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: Something may not be urgent, but to you, it may be urgent.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: Even to your body, you're gonna feel it in your body.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like I said, I was burning up.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: So I made the video, I made a TikTok video right away, and I see, I saw, but I left it up there because you know what?
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: That was a part of me.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: And then I realized, okay, I clearly can do this better.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: So what I did was I asked myself one more question.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: Like, this is something that I did afterwards.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: Do I need to respond right now, or does it just feel like I do?
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I felt like it was such a sense of urgency to respond and take care of that shirt, take care of that old memory.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: And then I was able to lay down, put the shirt aside, and go to sleep.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: So I didn't need to, but I did.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: And then after that, you if you give yourself space, even 10 minutes, even 30 minutes, I took an I actually went to bed.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: And then the morning I didn't force anything, and I woke up and on my own, all of a sudden I'm like, you know what?
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's time to throw the shirt away.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like it wasn't even a second thought, it wasn't emotionally charged, it was just a thought, and I threw it away.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: So I took that time because you know what?
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: The first thing that you think right away is not always the truth.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: What does it matter if that shirt was still hanging up in my closet?
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't matter.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: And here's what changes when you do this: you stop reacting from emotion.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I know we are we are emotional creatures, but it's better to react or respond when you're more clear, when the emotions are out of it.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: They're never going to be totally gone, but at least not in the heat of the moment.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: Because how many times do you feel bad later?
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: You're like, oh my God, I can't believe I said this, I can't believe I did that.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: So you just will stop creating regret moments and you stop over-explaining, you make permanent decisions from temporary emotions, and that's the thing.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: What if you did something that permanent permanently damages you later because you acted out of anger, emotions without taking that moment to pause and let it go by?
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: I know it's so hard.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: It if you would have told me that during the moment this week, I felt like that was like something that needed to be taken care of with urgency, and I had to fix it right now, and I had to do something.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: But the truth was I didn't have to.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: And so I would like you to try this, and then over time, I think you'll start trusting yourself more because now I'm trusting myself more.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: Before I was so quick to fly off the handle and do something and react without taking a break, and that is helping me go forward this week.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're in that place where everything just feels a little intense, a little overwhelming, or a little reactive, this is your reminder.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to respond to everything immediately, you don't have to fix everything instantly, and you don't have to act on every feeling that you have.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: That was huge.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: I I for 54 years have been acting on every feeling I have.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: No wonder why I'm so confused because feelings change and they go back and forth.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: And then peace doesn't come from fixing everything, it does come from not reacting as much and not reacting to everything.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: If this is you, I want you to pay attention this week to these moments where they might come up and you might it's actually, I know it's coming from old feelings, it's old patterns, it's old rage, it's things that you didn't deal with, it may be things that you numbed.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: So just take that pause, take a moment to just breathe, get the emotion out of it.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, we're gonna have emotions.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: We're people.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: Did you guys ever watch that movie Inside Out?
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: That was the best.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: I think that was they should show that to every person in school, every adult should watch that movie, but that's just my opinion.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, thank you, and I have have a great week the rest of the week.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.