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Becoming Anchored S3E1: I'm New to Therapy...What Should I Expect? · Becoming Anchored

0:04
Hey guys, welcome back to the Becoming Anchored podcast.
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So glad you're here with us today.
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We're super excited about this episode and the content we have and just
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having a conversation with y'all.
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So I'm Lauren Jackson.
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I'm one of the hosts here.
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Lauren is our other wonderful host.
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We are two licensed therapists in the Brentwood, Tennessee area.
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We're part of a group private practice called Anchored Counseling Company.
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Um, at Anchored, we see and treat anyone presenting with eating
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disorder, disordered eating, all the way to grief and loss, anxiety,
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depression, OCD, life transition.
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We kind of see all ages through the lifespan.
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We love what we do.
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This podcast has been so life giving for us just to engage all in a different way
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and to share, you know, our lives and our kind of therapy knowledge with you all.
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So, quick disclaimer before we kind of jump in and get started with this content.
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This podcast is for informational purposes only.
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We're not intending to be your therapist or do therapy with you over this platform.
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So if you're listening, if you feel like you might benefit from therapy and
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you're local to us, reach out to us.
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We'd love to connect.
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We'd love to get you scheduled and start that process with you.
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If you're not local to us, find someone in your area who is licensed.
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Ah, thank you, Warren.
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Like Warren said, this has just been such a fulfilling journey for us, and I feel
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like that's the word that we use for every introduction to the Becoming Anchored
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podcast, but it truly has been fulfilling.
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So fun for us and in such a sweet time of connection for the two of us and just
1:39
really a fun space for us to talk about all things like and Therapy and we love
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being therapists We love sharing some of our wisdom on the show and my our
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hope to my hope is that You all will also get to know us and you know Some
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of the things that we've been through the hardships the pain the suffering and
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moments of joy as well so that's really the purpose of You The Becoming Anchored
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podcast is to show up first and foremost as humans with you all, and then to also
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share some of our therapeutic wisdom that we have gleaned over the years.
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So welcome.
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Welcome.
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We've got fun and exciting episode for you all today.
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I'm super excited about this topic.
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So let's go ahead and jump right in.
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Today, we are going to be talking about what to expect if you are new to therapy.
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And Lauren and I were chatting briefly before we started this episode, so this
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really is if you are a newcomer to mental health therapy altogether, or maybe you've
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taken a break and you're resuming therapy with a provider, we are going to share
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more specifically what to expect, and we're really going to be talking about how
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we approach new clients in our practice, So, of course, we can't guarantee how
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other providers are, you know, providing care, but my hope is that whoever
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you're seeing, you feel comfortable and safe and balanced and encouraged
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and equipped and all the good things.
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So let's go ahead and dive right in.
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Yes.
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So, for those of you who've maybe never been to therapy before, it can certainly
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be a little bit of a scary step.
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Hey, for sure.
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And maybe you've thought about it.
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Maybe you've even like done some research.
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Maybe you've like looked up some people on psychology today or whatever.
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Right.
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And so, you know, just to validate like taking that first step and like picking
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up the phone or sending the email can certainly feel Overwhelming because maybe
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you don't know what to expect, right?
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You don't know what that first kind of session is going to be
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like, and maybe even there's a fear or an internalized kind of,
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yeah, fear that I'm going to have to sit down and just share my whole.
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life story and all my deepest, darkest secrets with somebody that I don't know.
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And so to start out by saying there's never any pressure here
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in our space that you have to divulge everything about yourself.
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And so your deepest, darkest secrets that we really value here at Anchored,
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like building rapport and creating safety with our clients and safety can mean
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different things for different people.
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And so Each of our, each of us, each of the different therapists
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here really are super mindful of how to build that safety with each
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client and how that client needs it.
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So, yeah.
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Yeah, and Lauren can speak to this just so well because she actually, at this
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point, is, answering phones and getting new clients established with the,
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hopefully the best fit possible for them.
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And so she is really on the front lines of placing clients and Talking
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to new clients about their concerns, answering questions about our practice,
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and Lauren is so patient and warm and thoughtful, and I think that new
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clients certainly yield that from her.
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And yeah, just to echo what you're talking about, I mean, good therapy is paced.
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And so I, what I mean by that is, you know, when you're with a therapist that
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knows how to pace you and the session.
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That typically is going to go better for new clients, right?
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Because it's not that we don't want to know all your deepest, darkest secrets.
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It's that we also understand.
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The way the nervous system works, what we call the window of tolerance, which
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we've talked about that quite often on the show, it's essentially where
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we're able to stay regulated the best.
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And so, you know, as we move through therapy, the goal is to help you
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practice being more vulnerable, but in the first few sessions, we want to
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build what's called rapport and safety, first and foremost, so that you know
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that what you share is important.
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Is appropriate and is okay to be sharing with your therapist.
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And so, yeah, I do think pacing is really important.
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And it allows the client to feel cared for, to know that they can trust their
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therapist, and that there is safety there.
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So that's certainly something that we are training our staff on as well.
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And Lauren, you know, trains the staff, and so she does
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such a great job with that.
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But yeah, in the first session, I mean, your therapist is
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hopefully reviewing and reviewing.
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They're practice policies, so that's essentially their cancellation
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policy, what we call informed consent.
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They're reviewing limits to confidentiality here
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in the state of Tennessee.
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We are mandated reporters, so, you know, any suspected, you know, abuse of any
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kind that includes child or elder abuse.
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They're also reviewing any kind of benefits and risks that they might want
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to speak to in the therapeutic room.
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So that's really that first, this first few minutes after you, you know.
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Meet your therapist and say hi to your therapist and walk back
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into your therapist's office.
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That's what they are going to be doing in the first few minutes of session.
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And then Lauren can kind of speak to what the rest of session might look like.
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Yeah, yeah.
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So, you know in that first session and maybe the first couple of sessions
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your therapist is really asking a lot of questions and kind of assessing for
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whatever it is that maybe is Bringing you into therapy or whatever it is
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that kind of prompted you to pick up the phone and call or, you know, send
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the email or submit the form on our on on the website are so a couple of
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different ways you can reach out to us.
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You can there's a form you can submit on our website.
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You can give us a call.
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You can shoot us an email.
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So a couple of different ways and then we train our staff to answer
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any questions that you may have.
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Be as prepared on the front end going into that first session as possible.
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So we ask all of our new clients to fill out intake paperwork before
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they come in and it's through our kind of electronic system.
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So the therapist can get that intake paperwork even before the session starts
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and have a little bit more insight into, again, what is bringing you in the door.
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And so, yeah, your therapist is going to be asking what we call assessment
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questions, but essentially just like Wanting to get to know you and your
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story and what parts of your story you feel safe sharing in that first session
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and really like what is showing up for you like right now in the present that
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that does feel like it's getting in the way your anxiety, maybe your depression,
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your OCD, your relationship conflict, interpersonal relationship concerns.
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I don't know, body image concerns, whatever it is that's bringing you in,
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your therapist is just wanting to know more about it and how it's getting in
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the way in kind of your present life.
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Your therapist might ask you some questions about, maybe about your family
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of origin, so like a, what we might call like a biopsychosocial kind of assessment,
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if you will, a fancy word for it.
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So What was it like growing up in your family of origin?
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What was it like for you socially in your friend groups?
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You know, where did you grow up at?
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What was it like for you?
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That kind of thing.
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So that's, I mean, that's really like the first session.
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And then of course you're, you guys are setting goals.
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They are talking about like, okay, what are some, what are the three, four,
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whatever kind of main things that really want to be addressed and worked on because
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those goals are going to be such a helpful framework and map for the treatment plan.
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And the treatment plan is kind of what you're a therapist.
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Is, um, mentally creating, maybe some therapists write it out too, but like
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kind of creating just in terms of, like I said, that, that treatment plan moving
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forward, it helps give us structure.
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It helps give us some guidelines.
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It helps us know the direction we're going in the therapeutic process.
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Yeah.
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So goals come up in that first session, the first few sessions as
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you're kind of honing it on what, what the work is going to look like.
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Absolutely.
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Absolutely.
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Yeah, and it's meant to be, hopefully, collaborative, and so, you know, as
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we have progressed over the years, yes, your therapist hopefully is
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professional and an expert in what you are seeking support around, and We
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certainly want it to feel collaborative, like you are always aware of what is
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happening in the therapeutic space.
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I'm a big proponent of sharing when I provide a therapeutic intervention.
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You know, I will certainly say, The client's like, Hey, this is actually from
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acceptance commitment therapy and, you know, this therapy we really talk about
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separating from our thoughts, right?
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So I will name what I am doing as I am doing the intervention.
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And I think that certainly helps build safety and is collaborative in nature.
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And then at the end of the first session, one thing that I'm doing too, and I know
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that you do this as well, Lauren, is I'm asking clients if they have any questions.
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for me about the way that I practice or for me as a person, right?
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So I feel like my clients know me well and one of my values if you listen to the
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show is authenticity and transparency.
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And so they do know that I'm married to Sean, and that I have a daughter,
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Marianne, and, um, you know, a dog named Louie, who can be kind of wild at times.
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And so, that, I think, it's appropriate, but it does allow them to feel that
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there's some sense of, like, okay, I know my therapist, and I know who she is.
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And again, it's within appropriate boundaries and context, but I will
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certainly ask that at the end of session.
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I'll maybe ask like, how did this feel to you?
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You know, where was your anxiety walking in compared to the end of session?
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And most of the time, the anxiety does go down, right?
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Which is like a cool exposure if you think about it.
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But yeah, I'm certainly asking all of those sessions.
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Is there anything that you feel?
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Has it worked in your prior therapy experiences or anything that you
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didn't like about, you know, previous therapists, anything that was said
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or done that you just didn't love?
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And that's important for me to know too, just to keep an eye
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out for that in my own treatment plan, like Lauren's talking about.
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Those are just additional things in the first session or two that
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I'm checking in on with clients.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Something else that you will find here or our clients find here with us.
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Kind of across the board is we really train our therapists on creating
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a sense of continuity between session, from session to session.
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Not that we as therapists aren't mindful of the different topics that
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may come up in different sessions, but maintaining a sense of continuity.
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Yeah, like I said, consistency or having a kind of a thread that helps bring
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past sessions and the process of past sessions or the content of past sessions
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along the ride or along the journey.
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And, and then we also train our therapist in giving homework.
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And so, if you're a client here, if you're a client of their practice and
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you're listening, you're like, yep, I get homework after every session, good,
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you shouldn't be getting homework.
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And that could be anything.
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And we say homework because that's like just the word that,
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you know, makes the most sense.
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But I mean, it can be anything from like, hey, here's this thought to take with you.
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Here's this journal prompt to take with you.
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Here's this worksheet.
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I'm going to email you a worksheet.
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Go read this book, listen to this podcast.
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And I'll see you You know, I will give homework to like, go have, go ask
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your partner how they're feeling, and then they ask you how you're feeling.
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Amazing.
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I'm like, what is this org that you're giving?
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I want to take it.
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So we just feel that kind of continuity piece helps our clients
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feel seen, helps our clients feel like we are tracking with them.
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And then the homework piece helps, I think, helps our clients feel like
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they're getting value from our time and they're able to take that value with them.
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Into their real life in between sessions.
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And so that just feels really important to us.
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So, so that's something that you can expect.
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I mean, my clients get that from me from session one.
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So like from the very get go, they get that from me and from all of us here.
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And so, yeah, that may be a something perhaps unique in some ways to anchor,
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maybe not, but that's, you know, that's a consistent thing that we try and really.
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Bring into the therapeutic process here for all of our therapists.
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And that's not to say as well that we all have different kind of styles, right?
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We all have different, maybe a little bit of a different way of like
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showing up and being with our clients.
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And maybe we, some of our therapeutic style leans more towards.
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Different types of, like, modalities or interventions.
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Actually, Laura and I were talking about this the other day.
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Laura, I think you were mentioning, like, how maybe with, like, body image
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work, you tend to be more behavior, behavioral, like, intervention heavy.
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And maybe I'm a little bit less behavioral, intervention heavy.
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And neither one is wrong or right.
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It just, it's just our kind of different styles, if you will.
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So We all have different styles and we try here at Anchor to really foster those
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different kind of styles of showing up therapeutically as well as maintaining the
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consistency of like, you're going to get homework, there's going to be consistency
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or continuity between sessions, there's going to be goals, there's going to be
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a treatment plan, you're going to be assessed well, you're going to be given
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the right appropriate recommendations.
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You're going to be, you're going to be encouraged to be seen frequently.
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You're going to be followed up with all of those things.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Well, and again, we really want any client that walks through
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our doors to feel held, right?
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We know that this world can be cruel and harsh and.
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We want Anchored to be a safe space to land.
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Now that's not to say that we're not going to challenge you or push you or like be
16:19
with you as you work through your trauma or You know, anything hard that's been
16:24
through your life, but we really want it to be this like warm, safe spot to land.
16:29
And so all of these things that Lauren is talking about is a
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part of the way that we practice.
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Yes.
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And what, just to kind of elaborate on what you shared
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with that whole work piece.
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You know, sessions are typically 50 minutes long, and so we know that a
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lot of life is happening outside of the hour that we get, the, the 50 minute
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clinical hour that we get with clients.
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And so the purpose of the homework is to really foster and cultivate this idea
16:56
of doing the therapeutic work outside of therapy and noticing what comes up
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in your everyday life, and, Really, we know that a lot of change is even
17:06
happening outside of our offices, and so that's one of the reasons that we give
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homework is because we understand that a lot of life is happening in between
17:15
sessions, and we want to know about it, so that's what the benefit of like
17:18
a journal prompt or tracking behaviors or, you know, spending time at the end
17:24
of every day thinking about something hard that happened that day that you
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want to talk to your therapist about.
17:28
It's really helpful for our work.
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In that 50 minute clinical session, just to really support clients in meeting
17:35
those goals and an effective therapy, good therapy is hopefully your therapist
17:40
is consistently returning back to the goals like, Hey, we had this goal
17:44
around, you know, maybe you were trying to challenge yourself to eat pizza.
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How do you feel like that's going, you know, are we making
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progress towards your goals?
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Because we want all of our clients.
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To lead the filling wonderful, prosperous lives outside of here.
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And we want our clients to get better, whatever that means.
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for them in the context of their own stories.
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And so I have stayed in therapy over the years and it's really
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helpful to me and for me.
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I think it helps me be just, it helps me process, right?
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My different roles and the different responsibilities.
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And I really love having A third party.
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And I've also tracked towards my goals, right?
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And I am continually, you know, being asked by my therapist that I've
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seen, you know, over the years, I've had the privilege of looking with a
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couple of different therapists here in Nashville, like what progress
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I'm making towards the goals.
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And, you know, is there anything that we're not talking about that
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maybe I want to be talking about?
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That's another helpful question that your therapist hopefully will be
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asking you as you get to know them and as they get to know you as well.
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But yeah, that's really the benefit of homework.
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And even that skill of immediacy that you talked about, right?
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Like tuning in to like, Hey, how are you feeling in this moment about what
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we're talking about, what we're doing?
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Do you feel like this is helping you?
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Are you, and how do you feel about our session as a whole?
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That can be another piece too that's helpful.
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Yeah.
19:12
Yeah.
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We really value that immediacy or being, you know, embodied with our
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clients present With our clients attuning to our clients in that moment.
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And so, you know, we train our therapists pretty extensively on
19:30
using immediacy, being embodied.
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You, you can expect that with us here.
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So that, that attunement piece is being able to, you know, kind of read body
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language, read facial expressions, kind of read, read the room without maybe you
19:47
as the client necessarily saying anything, but the therapist being like, something's
19:51
going on, what's going on right now.
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Right.
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And so we really just value that as a really rich part
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of the therapeutic process.
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And so I.
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As you were talking about homework, Laura, I tell my clients that like 5 percent of
20:06
their work happens in the therapy session and then like 95 percent of their work
20:10
happens outside because you're outside of the therapy office significantly
20:15
more than you are inside the office.
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And so again, that's one of the, that's one of the benefits or pieces of homework
20:22
that can be helpful is facilitating that 95 percent of the work you're
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doing outside of the therapy room.
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So, yeah.
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Yeah, and when Lauren's talking about being embodied, there's all sorts of
20:34
ways that we can do this as clinicians.
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Um, you know, I like to poke fun at myself and that's certainly a way
20:41
to do it, laughing with clients, attuning to body language, checking in
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about, you know, their body language or maybe their facial expression.
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Those are all skills that I think are important for your therapist to have,
20:57
whether you see someone here or maybe, you know, you're in a different part of the
21:00
country and you see a different therapist.
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But those are all things that I think really, um, contribute to the therapeutic
21:07
process and can really support you in feeling like you are seen and heard and
21:13
understood because at the end of the day, that's what makes therapy helpful, right?
21:19
So we heal in our relationships with others.
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We can also be heard by others.
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For the sake of this conversation, effective therapy allows us to heal in
21:30
a safe place and we heal because of the relational nature of the, of therapy.
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Though, you know, we as therapists, we are relationship builders first and foremost.
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And so that's really the most important piece in our minds.
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And I think I can speak for Lauren when I say this around really those
21:51
first few sessions and what to expect is Your therapist is inviting you into
21:58
a safe relationship with them where we can explore all the moving pieces of
22:02
your story, what is working, what isn't working, maybe your trauma history,
22:07
all of it in this relational piece.
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And so as a practice, we really just first and foremost want to build
22:14
relationships with our clients.
22:16
And of course, as we go along, we might.
22:19
Challenge more.
22:20
We might get more feedback as we get to know clients.
22:24
We might maybe even call them out right once we get to know them.
22:28
But as far as the first few sessions go, we are really inviting our
22:32
parents into our relationship with us.
22:35
And I know that I just, I adore this work and I know you do too.
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So it's just such a privilege whenever anyone shares their story with us.
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And that's really what we're walking into session with is like,
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wow, what a privilege it is to sit with you and hear about your pain.
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Right?
22:51
Most of the time when people start therapy, they're in a lot of pain and
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maybe you haven't ever shared that.
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Yeah, and I think, and I know this for myself personally, because I've
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experienced it, and then I know this from, from my clients, but if I've seen it, I
23:08
think one of the most healing, Healing things for our pain, past or present, is
23:17
for that pain to be bear witnessed to.
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So when somebody bears witness to your pain, I think there's, that is,
23:24
I think that's where healing happens.
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And so that, like Laura said, that's what we're inviting you
23:28
into is to say, Hey, I'm going to see, I'm, I will see your pain.
23:32
I will sit with you in your pain.
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I will.
23:34
Um, and then it's like the healing can happen in that safe place.
23:38
And so that bearing witness to just feels really important.
23:41
And I think ultimately here at anchored, that's, that's what we want to do well.
23:45
And so all of the things that we've talked about, you know, in this episode of like,
23:48
what can you expect as a new client?
23:51
All of that, all of what we've, like I said, what we've discussed
23:54
is to really foster that like safety for your pain to, to be here.
24:02
Yeah.
24:02
Yeah.
24:03
Yeah.
24:04
And I know that Lauren and I have both.
24:06
benefited greatly from our own therapeutic experiences and, you know, we just feel
24:13
such gratitude for them and their roles in our lives, the various clinicians
24:17
that we've seen over the years.
24:19
And so we are big believers in therapy and the therapeutic process as a whole.
24:24
And of course, there's other things that we do, you know, as far as what to expect.
24:28
I mean, we have water and tea and coffee and snacks.
24:31
We love our snacks here.
24:33
And we are constantly restocking those.
24:35
But yeah, we try to provide, you know, kind of a home
24:39
away from home, if you will.
24:40
If you're, if your home is safe.
24:42
For you, of course, but those are just small details that we are trying to
24:46
provide for clients so that they feel safe and yeah, hopefully, you know,
24:52
sometimes I know that you might not look forward to coming to therapy.
24:55
Sometimes you might.
24:55
So wherever you are on that spectrum, we welcome you, even
24:58
if you're dreading session.
24:59
I certainly have had times when I'm like, But then I go and I'm glad that
25:04
I went and take something away from it.
25:07
So that's our hope for every client.
25:09
Thanks for being here, you guys, for this episode.
25:11
We hope this has been helpful for you all as far as just expanding upon what
25:15
to expect if you're new to therapy or maybe you've taken a break from therapy.
25:19
Um, your homework, I will get the homework, and then Lauren can
25:23
provide the affirmation, but your homework, if maybe you are new to the
25:28
therapeutic process, is to journal about your fears of starting therapy.
25:33
There's a lot of value in really naming the fear, and there's a lot of research
25:39
around this that it actually, um, A lot of times allows the fear to go
25:43
down and so to write out your fears and my challenge to you if you've been
25:47
on the fence about starting therapy is to consider starting and to consider
25:51
sending that email or picking up the phone and scheduling a session.
25:54
If you're in the state of Tennessee, we would love to see you.
25:58
And if not, we encourage you to reach out someone local to you.
26:01
And then Laurie will close with our affirmation.
26:03
Yeah.
26:04
The words that were just coming to, to mind are kind of piggybacking off
26:08
of what I was just saying a second ago, that your pain or your story or
26:13
whatever, maybe trauma is from your story.
26:17
And maybe those of you who've not done therapy before, it's been a
26:21
while since you've done therapy.
26:23
All of that is not too much.
26:26
It's not too big for the therapy room.
26:28
I mean, hopefully it's not too big or too much for anybody, but it's especially
26:33
not too much or too big for us and these rooms that hold all of these stories.
26:39
Thanks for being here.
26:40
This was just such a fun topic to talk about today.
26:43
Yeah.
26:43
We're so glad that you all are with us on the Becoming Anchored podcast
26:46
and we will see you next time.
26:48
Take care.
26:48
Bye guys.