Latest / Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot / The Seven Releases 6/7: Loosen Your Grip. Let Life Breathe Again. #SelfCareSaturday

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The Seven Releases 6/7: Loosen Your Grip. Let Life Breathe Again. #SelfCareSaturday · Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot

• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to the sweet spot, beautiful souls.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Dr.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: Derek Sweet.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a board certified psychiatrist who specializes in peak performance.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: But more than that, I'm right here with you.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: Learning what it means to loosen my grip and let life breathe again.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: You ever be in that position where you kind of need to let go and let God let the grip go, man.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's just been so tight on everything, trying to control it all.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, my friends, we've been in a series here called The Seven Releases.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: This is episode six.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: And we've been releasing all kinds of things all week.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: On Monday, we released The Rush.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: On Tuesday, we released The Lie.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: On Wednesday, with it all Wednesday, we released The Weight That Wasn't Ours.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: On Thursday, we released An Old Identity.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, yesterday, yesterday, Friday, Finish Strong Friday, we released the fear of starting over.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: We find ourselves today in self-care Saturday, stepping into one of the deepest releases of all.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: Releasing the need for control.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: And this is a good one.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: Why do we reach for control?
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: Well, most people aren't trying to control everything because they're controlling, they're doing it because they're scared, they're nervous, they're anxious.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: Control is what the nervous system reaches for when life feels unpredictable and uncertain.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: When a relationship shifts, when circumstances feel fragile or weird, when an old wound starts to resurface, maybe when disappointment is still kind of fresh.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: We tighten our grip.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: That's what we do.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: We try to prepare, predict, prevent, protect.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what other P there is out there.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: We really do.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: We try to control.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: We try to control.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: And control is not a flaw, it's not a problem, except when it gets in the way.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: Control is not a flaw, it's a survival strategy.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: But here's the truth you don't need that level of control most of the time.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need it anymore.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: Your nervous system may not know it yet, but your spirit does.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: And your neuroscience arm here is going to tell you that when you try to control everything, the amygdala, the brain's threat detection center, goes into overdrive.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: It says, hmm, what is out there?
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: Why do we have to have this much control?
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: Let's hold on tighter.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: Something might go wrong.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: And your CEO, the brain's prefrontal cortex, remember that?
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: The part responsible for calm thinking, for flexibility, and for peace.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: It begins to fade under the pressure.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: And you begin to feel it in your body, racing thoughts, irritability, shallow breathing, tightness in various parts of your body, the jaw, the neck.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: Feeling emotionally exhausted all the time.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: That's the downside of being overly controlling when the brain's amygdala and threat dissection centers start to fire.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: But here's the beautiful part.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: There's a good part to this.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's not all bad.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: Letting go, even a little here on self-care Saturday.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: That's the message.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: Even a little of letting go shifts your brain out of threat mode.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: And your breathing can deepen, your muscles can soften, and your prefrontal cortex will come right back online.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: And your heart rate will stabilize, your peace will return.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: So you see, letting go is not a passive, it feels passive when we say let go, breathe, take a breath, just let go of the wheel for a second.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: It feels passive, but it's a physiological liberation.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: Your biology and physiology is being liberated when you do that.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: And the ancient wisdom wants us to do that.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: In Matthew 11:28 in the message Bible, it says, Watch what God does, learn the unforced rhythms of grace.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: Watch what God does and learn the unforced rhythms of grace.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: That's Matthew 11, verse 28 to 30.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: Now, my King James version, folks, I'm so scared of you all that I'm actually gonna um mention that it does say in the King James, come on to me and I will give you rest.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: Rest is not something you earn.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: That's what the message is, that's what I took out of this.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: You don't earn rest.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: Rest is something you allow.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: But control blocks you from allowing yourself to rest.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: And it's in your rest that so much of your healing can take place.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: So we do have to figure out a way to release the control.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: A great book that I'd like you to pick up if you haven't read it already.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: It's one of the most powerful books on letting go, is David Hawkins' book, Letting Go.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: The Pathway of Surrender by David Hawkins.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, there's some great insights in this book.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: And he didn't start out being a believer, he started out as he started out his life as an atheist, became an agnostic, and then later on in life just had the deepest spiritual awakening.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it was just such a great story about him, and he's a great author.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: And his book, uh The Pathway of Surrender, had a few insights that I wanted to share with you today.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: The first one is releasing is not weakness, letting go is not weakness, it's the purest form, he says, of inner strength.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: Holding on takes energy, letting go restores it.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: Another insight he had was whatever you resist in life tends to grow stronger.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: The more you fight an emotion, the louder and stronger it can become.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: When you practice release and letting go, you break the loop.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't have the control over you as much.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: So whatever you resist gets stronger.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: Another one was you don't solve emotions, you surrender them.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: You don't think your way out of fear, you release your grip on it.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: Another one, clarity comes after surrender, not before.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: Clarity comes after surrender, not before.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: The next step doesn't become obvious while you're gripping onto everything and holding on so tight.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: You know when the next step becomes obvious?
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: When you loosen your hand, you let go and you give yourself some room to breathe and allow the spirit to move in.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: The last insight I'll share with you from this amazing book by David Hawkins, The Pathway of Surrender, Letting Go is your true self is uncovered, not created.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: Letting go, in other words, isn't self-improvement, it's self-revealing.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: When we let go, we see who we are.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: When we're in the control seat all the time, we're not even seeing ourselves, we're just so busy controlling.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: This book is a great companion to everything we've been practicing this week, and that's why I recommend it.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: Alright?
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: So your tools of today are one, name the thing you're gripping on to tightly.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: Say quietly this the thing I'm trying to control is, and it could be somebody's behavior, it could be somebody's approval that you want, it could be a relationship, it could be anything, it could be the outcome of a situation, uh, maybe your own emotions you're trying to control, the future.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: You name what it is, and when you name it, it begins to relax you, and you unclench your fist a little bit, you're not so tight, your blood vessels aren't so wound up.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: That's the first two, right?
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: Name the thing you're gripping too tightly and say it out loud.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: And the second two is the 50% rule.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: The 50% rule.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: Which parts of this are actually mine?
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: That's the question when you are tackling some kind of an issue.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: How much of this belongs to me?
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: And you'll be shocked that maybe 50% belongs to somebody else.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: You'll be shocked how much drops away when you stop carrying the other half.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like if you just say, Okay, I'm gonna let go of my half, I'm good.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: Peace will come, and that peace begins with your clarity.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: So take a deep breath with me and let it out slowly, the exhale being longer than the inhale.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: Very important that you take a deep breath every day, and say this out loud.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: I release what I cannot control, and I trust what I cannot see.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: I release what I cannot control, and I trust what I cannot see.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: If that's not fate, I don't know what is.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: Your body knows the truth when it hears it.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: And notice how when you say, I release what I cannot control, and I trust what I cannot see, how your body responds to that already.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: You've been listening to The Sweet Spot.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: This is Dr.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: Derek Sweet.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for joining us on this release, seven-day release discussion journey that we've been on.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: Tomorrow we close the series with a release that changes everything.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: To release, we're calling it the release of the silence.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: Because your voice is the first door to freedom.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: So release the silence tomorrow.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: We have fun with that one.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: If today spoke to you, share it with someone who's holding everything together but really gets to rest for themselves.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll see you tomorrow, beautiful souls.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: One breath at a time, one release at a time.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: Stay amazing.