Latest / Heal Yourself Podcast / Episode 17: Rethinking New Year's Resolutions

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Episode 17: Rethinking New Year's Resolutions · Heal Yourself Podcast

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Heal Yourself Podcast, where we dive deep into all things healing.
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: I'm Denise, a speech-language pathologist and a self-love coach for adults and teens.
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: And I'm Kira, a traditional naturopath and functional nutritionist, and we are here to guide you through the transformative process of healing your body, mind and soul.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: From the latest in functional medicine to nurturing your relationship with yourself, healing trauma and even transforming your money story.
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: We're here to empower you with the knowledge and tools to create lasting change.
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: So, whether you're looking to heal physically, emotionally or spiritually, join us as we explore the many paths to wholeness and wellness.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: Welcome to another episode of Heal Yourself Podcast with Kira and Denise, and today we're talking about resolutions New Year resolutions.
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: Everyone's favorite.
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: Thing.
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: Actually, I think it's everyone's favorite thing on December 31st and January 1st.
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: Screw that by mid-January you're like, no, I'm over it yeah.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: And that's why we have statistics for you.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: So, according to a study by the University of Scranton, approximately 23% of people quit their resolutions within the first week.
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: So by the time you're listening to this, you've probably quit.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: Just saying that's a good one.
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: And only 64% keep them past the first month.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: They may be part of the 64%.
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: That's a pretty sad statistic, though Pretty sad.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: All right, there's more.
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: So there's a fitness app called Strava, and they found that January 19th is often referred to as Quitter's Day.
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: So, basically, this is when many people abandon the resolutions, and by the end of the year.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: Do you want to guess how the percentage of the number of the people who report that they were successful in keeping the resolutions by the end of the year I would?
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: have got a number I would have said 25 without knowing.
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: I mean, I'm looking at the statistic right now.
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: I know I can't, I know she's looking.
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: I would have said 25 without knowing.
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: I mean, I'm looking at the statistic right now.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: I know I can't, I know she's looking, I would have said 25.
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: You would have said 25.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: Well, it's not.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: It's a very sad one.
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: So it's only 9% to 12%.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: And this is of people that reported and remember they could be lying.
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: They reported that they were successful in keeping the resolutions for the whole year.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: So nine percent, that's pretty rough, it's very rough.
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: So we're gonna discuss some points of like.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: Why so?
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: The very first one is this is a all or nothing mentality, right, so like basically on, you know, at the end, at the you know in december, like oh, my goodness, I'm eating everything and now I'm going to deprive myself.
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: You know, and that's all or nothing mentality creates more cravings and creates more deprivation.
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: I believe it's more of a deprivation scarcity mentality with the all or nothing.
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: Do you want to add anything to that?
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I'm even just looking at myself.
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: I don't know about you, but back in the day, when I set resolutions, it was always around health and it was always about weight loss, like back in my twenties.
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: And so I'd be like, okay, I'm going to lose and I don't even think it was necessarily losing weight, but it's like I'm going to fit into a size four or I'm.
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: It might not have even been that.
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: I remember years where I'd be like I'm going to give up all this food, I'm only going to eat healthy.
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: And you're right.
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: It's like, well, yeah, that's not going to happen, like you're telling me, I can never touch like a cookie again.
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: Exactly, Exactly, right.
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: And that's why a lot of people, just, you know, fall off the wagon because of the no one can sustain the all or nothing mentality, no matter how perfect you are I mean, there's nobody perfect but you know, know, they mean like no one can sustain it.
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: It's unsustainable, yeah.
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: And reason number two can be unrealistic.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: Big goals, like we said, okay, basically, like you were saying I'm gonna drop it to size four, and you know, like that is a big, unrealistic goal.
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: It does not, you cannot measure it.
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: I mean you can measure it, type of thing, but then how long is it gonna take you?
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: Or we go from like I earlier, we go from eating so much shit, to like now I'm going to eat healthy.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: But how are you going to do that If you're going from eating, you know, junk or eating processed foods, and that's what usually the majority of the people with the weight loss and stuff like that?
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: You know, january 1st comes and I'm going to eat health, only healthy and stuff like that.
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: You know, January 1st comes and I'm going to eat health, only healthy, yeah, and I.
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: So it's funny.
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: I actually saw somebody post on Facebook today, Um, and I don't remember what her whole post was, but it was about her resolution.
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: It was like I'm going to lose 30 pounds and I'm going to keep it off all year.
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: But I'm thinking, okay, but how are you going to get there?
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: Like it's not undoable, Is that a word?
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it is.
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: You can totally lose 30 pounds, depending on how big you are, right, but like I don't know if that's realistic for you, you know what I mean.
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: Have you tried 30 other times?
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, or I mean it doesn't have to be just around health and weight.
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: Some people be like you know I'm not going to, you know, touch social media, even though it has worked with me, but I still check it on the computer now.
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: But, um, or it could be like you know I'm.
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: It could be around finances.
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: I'm going to save this and that, like.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: I feel like with the new year resolution it's always like you're going from you know A to Z.
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: This is my year.
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: I'm going to make a million dollars, when last year you made like 20,000.
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: Right, right, exactly, exactly.
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: How are you going to get there?
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: So I feel like we put too much, too many big goals that are just and there's no guidance to achieve them.
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: And then a third reason could be ignoring the root cause when you're setting goals.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: So, for example, if every year your new year resolution is to lose the weight or the weight loss, like why hasn't it worked?
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, is there something different?
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: Like are you, is there some?
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: Is there something deeper than that that you kind of need to address?
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: That's why it's not working, not working.
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: Or, for example, let's say, with the savings you know, is it every year that you're gonna say that you're gonna save this and you never do?
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: But you're just, you get yourself in more, I don't know whatever, like financial trouble, whatever the goal is like, if you keep setting the same new year's resolution goal and you're not even getting to the year.
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: You need to kind of look at the root cause, like why this is not working.
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: No, anything else you want to add about that.
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: No, I just agree, and you could look at it, like you said, from every aspect.
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: I use health just because literally that's what most people go to, like I'm sure there's a statistic on that too.
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: But like, even from a business standpoint, like anything, you're right.
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: If that's your goal every single year year, then I'm not going to say find a new goal, but dig into why that goal is not not happening right and what I said, discover the root cause like why is it not happening?
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: why do I keep you know not being able to achieve whatever new year resolution?
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, what else do you have for us that might be the cause of you know else do you have?
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: for us.
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: That might be the cause of, you know, twitter's death, so I think also a piece of it is.
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: It's not in line with your identity.
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: So let's say that again.
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: We'll use weight loss and guys, you could plug anything in here right, but let's say that weight loss is your goal.
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: This kind of goes back to the root cause.
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: If you have always viewed yourself as someone who is overweight, who's not worthy of being thin, who doesn't find themselves beautiful, who doesn't value and love and honor themselves, your identity is not one of a fit, thin person.
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: Right, you've got to change at that identity level.
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: Same thing Again.
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: You could plug in business here.
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: If you don't think you're worthy of charging and yet you're saying you want to have a million dollar year, how are you going to get there?
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: Your identity is one of a poor person.
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: So you have to be looking at things through a deeper lens.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, and every time, like every time we have episodes for you, we always tell you look deep.
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: It's true, though.
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: That's so true.
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: That is so true, so true.
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: We I mean, we have gone through it and we still go through it, and it's all about reflecting earlier.
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: Right now, we're just talking about something, and you know we gotta go back and you know why is this happening.
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, next, um, also not in line with your values.
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: So this is something I take my clients through, in fact, and we talk through values, or at least they dig into their values, and let's say again your value for or not your value.
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: But your resolution this year is to get healthy, whatever the hell that looks like to you, right?
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: If health is not one of your top values, you're never going to get there.
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: You have to value what it is that you're after.
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: Just like one of my mentors once had us do this activity but I was doing it more from a business lens and abundance and money weren't in there.
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: It was like health is the top value, family's the top value, travel's the top value, freedom's a top value, family's the top value, travel's the top value, freedom's a top value, and those are fine.
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: Those are still my top values.
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: But he made it very clear that to run a successful business, abundance, wealth, money, something like that has to be in there, and so if your value does not match up with what you're trying to achieve, you're not going to make it.
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: You have to prioritize that as a value.
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: Therefore, you're not going to backtrack, right, like health is a top value of mine.
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: It's up there always.
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: Therefore, every choice that I make during the day is in line with health.
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: Am I going for a walk?
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: Am I moving my body?
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: Am I eating healthy?
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: Am I pairing carbs at the end of my meal, like?
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: Am I blocking blue light?
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: I could go through the list, but it just naturally comes because I value health.
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: Yes, does that?
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: make sense.
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: It does make sense, yeah, it does perfect sense, because once you have your values, you're making the choices and you have the priorities around those values, and it's easier I mean, I don't like to use the word easier, but I am going to use it so, once you have your values, it's easier to know what your priorities are and hence they will guide your choices.
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, absolutely, it makes total sense.
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah Well, and then let's be real.
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: People like to Amazon prime their results right, that's.
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: Did you know that right now they have, like you, order at night and you get it at 4am in the morning?
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's insane, it's insane.
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: So it's not even a day anymore.
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: No, I know.
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: It's like it's convenient, but at the same time it's like the downfall of our society because we just want everything like now, like yesterday.
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: And that's the thing.
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: Like some of these results aren't going to be immediate.
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: So the people that are like I'm going to lose 10 pounds and I'm going to keep it off, but you haven't lost 10 pounds, by what?
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: Is it January 19th, the quitter's day?
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: Probably not going to lose 10 pounds by January 19th.
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: You're not going to get immediate results.
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: And that's the thing.
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: People just let it go.
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: You can't expect immediate results.
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: You have 365 days.
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: Your resolution should not just be for January.
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: It should be by December 31st.
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: That's right.
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: That's right.
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: But because we are so antsy, we want it to get done in like two months or like not even not even two months.
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: It's the 19th.
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: People are, so they want to wait until like the 19th.
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: That's it Like 19 days, not even a month.
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: And you're absolutely right the year is 365 days, not 19 days.
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah Well, and we want to give you guys some steps to take, right, Like I'm not saying that these are the only things or you have to go in this order.
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: But if you're someone that's been setting resolutions every year and you're like, oh damn, yeah, most of those I don't, I don't stick with or I don't achieve, then we've got something for you.
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: So first, focus on the being.
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: This goes back to the identity level.
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: Who do you need to be in order to get those results?
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: And that also goes back to values.
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: Again, I'm going to use health here, but let's say that you want to lose 25 pounds this year.
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: What do you?
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: Who do you need to be?
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: Do you need to be the person that wakes up in the morning and goes for a walk?
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: Do you need to be the person that hydrates first thing in the morning?
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: Do you need to be the person that gets 25 to 30 grams of protein first, Like, who the hell do you need to be?
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah Right, who am I when I have lost that weight?
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: And just portray yourself with that person, because that person that lost the weight.
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: What does she do?
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: How does she?
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: What does she say?
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: How did?
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: What does she eat?
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, how does she show up in the world?
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: How does she show up in the morning?
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: Yep.
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: Yep, and now that can be your guide.
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: And focus on those emotions.
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: So I'll throw in business and I know there's a million other goals you could have, but those are just the two that come to my head.
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: But, like, when I think about myself and my business, if I'm being the person that I want to look like, you know how, however long from now, whatever that looks like, um, I'm waking up in the morning and I'm not scrolling social media.
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: I'm waking up in the morning and I have a morning routine.
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: I'm waking up and I'm actually getting ready.
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: Like the process of getting ready and still doing hair and makeup, even though I might be in my pajamas, guys, that just makes me feel like I'm a successful business owner.
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: So I'm stepping into that being versus.
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: Oh well, that'll happen when I'm successful.
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: We don't do the whole when I am.
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: It's now.
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: You do that today, yes, yes.
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: And then another one for me.
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: I always hated smart goals.
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: They just sounded so cheesy cheesy but at the same time, like I understand why they're there.
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: You need those small, actionable steps.
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: Like you want to lose 20 pounds and you've had that on your goal sheet for the last six years, okay, but what steps are you taking to get there?
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: And when we say small steps, it's not saying I'm cutting out all sugar for the next 45 days.
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: Okay Well, maybe we could just cut back Like how much sugar are you actually eating right now?
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: If you wake up and you put five tablespoons of coffee creamer in your coffee, maybe one small step is cutting back to one.
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: Like I love that, I love the cutting back, I love it, love it, love it.
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: If you're eating, you know chocolate bars, just have one.
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: I mean, and seriously though, the coffee thing, like if you are doing five and you say I'm not going to do any, your coffee's going to taste like shit to you.
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: So maybe, maybe it's three, and then you scale back, so like you need these baby steps to take, because that's what's going to lead to the big results.
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: Rome wasn't built in one day, and it's the same thing when we're looking at resolutions.
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: Absolutely, absolutely.
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: And yeah, like, forget about Amazon prime.
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: Amazon prime is there to get your shit that you need ready, but your life and your health I mean your life in general with all the aspects is not Amazon prime.
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: It's there to enjoy.
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: And I'm really loving that book by Matthew Kelly, slowing Down to the Speed of Joy.
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: Joy does not rush, joy does not hurry, joy does not get antsy.
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: So it's really important to just you know your life is not Amazon Prime.
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, another thing that you can do is target the root cause I love it.
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: You sound like a broken record but then I know, I feel, I know I am.
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: My kids tell me that all the time.
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: But anyway, if you keep propelling opportunities, that not.
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: I'm going to give example of business right now.
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: Right, because we've been doing a lot of health and weight loss, why is that?
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: Do you think you don't deserve it?
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: A lot of health and weight loss, why is that?
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: Do you think you don't deserve it?
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: Do you keep telling yourself I'm not good enough?
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: If you keep telling yourself I'm not good enough, that contract or the business opportunity or that client, they're not going to.
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: They're going to feel that, right, you're not good enough.
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: They're going to be like well, you're not good enough.
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: So it's because remember, we've talked about it too it is energy.
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: We had several episodes about energy and everything is energy.
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: So address that.
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: If we're, if we're saying I'm not good enough, you can't expect to make yourself to make a million dollar year at the end of the day.
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: If this is your goal, right or um, or, for example, remember the the the leaky gut equal leaky boundaries.
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: You know the.
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: Yes, you want to target the leaky gut you know, you, you, you Googled everything and you have leaky gut Great, so now I'm going to address it, but thanks for calling me out on the boundaries piece, by the way.
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: There we go, however, however, great, great, but we targeted leaky gut.
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: We did all the supplements that we needed.
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: You know, we were kind of like you know getting, but if we keep leaking the boundaries, what's going to happen?
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: The leaky gut is going to come back, yeah Right.
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: So that's why it's really really, really important again to dig deep and look within, because and you know evaluate your identity and your values and your priorities, because you're going to figure out the next step of addressing the rule of laws, yeah Right 100%.
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: Another one that I really love is setting intentions.
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: I set daily intentions.
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: Setting daily intentions can be and it can be literally as simple.
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: You do not need a whole journal, you do not need a whole essay.
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: It could be as simple as I intend to do one task at a time.
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: Okay, because it's not because you know, I know you and I multitask a lot, so I even have it here as a sticky note too I intend to do one task at a time, to focus on one task at a time, or I intend, if this is, if you are this person who reacts right away, does not take a deep breath, does not pause for a second before responding, your intention can be for that day, my intention is to take a deep breath before I respond or before I, whatever.
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: Now, if you'd like to journal that, great.
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: But setting intentions can be as simple as just saying it out loud, really quickly, and holding on to that intention for the whole day.
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so that's why small steps, so one intention, not 500, where they get lost, like if you have one intention, you're single focus.
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: That's it I'm intending to to be calm today, right, and not to cuss at everybody on the road.
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: Um, I've got two, and Denise is going to chime in on these because they're struggles for me.
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: So one of them is a vision board, and Denise actually sent me something yesterday and I was like this is beautiful, but I struggle with dreaming big and that's just, I don't know like I could play and I could dream big as a kid, and then it's like life hit me and I was like, oh my gosh, I can't dream about those things, like that's childhood, but in reality we should be creating these grand vision boards.
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: So I know this might sound counterintuitive of, like you just told me, I can't like make a million dollars if I made 20,000 last year, but at the same time, there's something so powerful about dreaming big and letting go and having these grand vision boards Now again, maybe not going from 20,000 to a million next year, but like have all of these things that you're dreaming up, because that is what brings you the joy.
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: Right, you've got something that you're shooting for and if you're implementing those small actionable steps we talked about and everything else, then you're going to hit several of those things versus just one thing I'm going to have the best health in the world this year or I'm going to create this million dollar business?
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: Okay, but can you have a bunch of other little things that you're dreaming about too?
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: Absolutely.
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: And the thing is, I get it.
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: It's.
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: The thing is, with this one playing and dreaming big, and dreaming big it's more of like targeting it from the child-like, remember, because we definitely, you know, you do want, we don't want to take everything so seriously.
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: I'm like I'm so serious, everything's so serious.
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: You do want to play and dream big, absolutely, but also what's guiding you?
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: I get it right.
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: You said the whole million dollar.
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: I only made $20,000, right?
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: However, laying big, I'm sorry.
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: Dreaming big and just playing around with it also might help you to take bigger, actionable steps right, steps that are out of your comfort zone.
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: I think the dreaming big will also help you to step out of the comfort zone versus staying inside that box.
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah totally agree.
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because I feel like we just stay too much in the box.
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: We don't know what's out there.
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we don't.
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: Versus, it could be just as simple as and.
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: Again, I really do believe that.
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: I believe that.
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: I've experienced it, I've seen it, and the Course in Miracles talk about it.
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: Even Jesus said it.
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: There's no order of difficulties and miracles, right.
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: So you keep dreaming big, however, but you're also.
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: The thing is not just dreaming big and sitting on the couch, that's, you know, being a couch potato and munching on chips and you know, peanuts all day, right, it's like dreaming big, but also putting yourself out there for those big dreams to come true, and they're not going to come true while you're sitting on the couch, right, the million dollars, or the 50 pound weight loss, or the 50 000 in savings or the being of that I'm trying to give examples from all walks of life or the relationship Some people need relationships, some people want a baby, right, all of those are not going to happen if you stay small, yeah, you know.
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: So kind of like expand and go back to being a child.
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: The other one I struggle with but this is a powerful one is letting go of how it's going to happen.
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: So we're not saying like, hey, just completely ignore it and don't create those action steps, just sit on the couch.
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: Like it's the opposite.
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: It's taking the steps, it's doing the things, it's being the person, but it's basically letting go of the outcome and stopping the worry right.
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: What you focus on grows and I know we've talked about that in another episode, but it's so true, because that's where your attention is.
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: So the only thing you're focusing on every day is like I have to lose this weight, I have to build this business, I have to sign this client, I have to do this, I have to do that.
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: You're just creating more of that worry and you're just spiralingaling.
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: Put the pieces in place that you need to have.
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: Be the person that you need to show up as.
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: Have that identity, set the values, take the steps and let go and easier said than done, because that is an ongoing freaking battle for me, but let me tell you, your life becomes so much more joyful and peaceful when you can let it go.
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: Letting go of the how is really important, because that goal that you want can be achieved in so many other hows.
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: But then sometimes what happens is we get so stuck on this how that we forget the other hows, and then sometimes what happens is the other hows.
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: We miss the other hows.
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: We miss the other things because we are so stuck on making this goal through this road and it sometimes it doesn't work that way.
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: You got me.
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: Sometimes maybe the other road is better, maybe the windy road is better for you, right?
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: Or maybe the road that's full of obstacles is better for you than I'm going to achieve that.
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: So that's why we're saying set the goals, dream big, do all that, take the big, do all that, take the actionable steps, do it with intentions.
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: But the how don't focus too much on it.
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because it could be like the million dollar could be from I don't know you.
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: You got an inheritance, maybe, or you could sign 500 clients at once yeah, I don't know, no, but it's so true because that's, and then relationships like you could be so focused.
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: Well, this is the one relationship because I'm getting older and I have to do this, but your dream partner is one away.
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: Like you know what I mean, like there's so many pieces that go into it, and I know you and I have seen that in our lives in so many different aspects.
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: Let let go of that how and just trust that it's coming.
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: Absolutely Exactly.
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: Trust that it's coming and it does not have to be coming the way that you want it to be.
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: Sometimes it becomes way, way, way more beautiful when you've literally let go of the how.
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but again.
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: But please don't mistaken from letting go of the how of like not doing anything, no, we're still saying take actionable steps, take inspired steps that are related, that are aligned with your identity, that are aligned with your values.
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: You know, you know you're not going to achieve anything if you're on the couch, if you're a couch potato and watching Netflix and chilling literally all day.
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: Right, yes, there's Netflix and chill.
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: That you know.
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: When we're, we're resting, you know you've done whatever.
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: But if this is all you do, I mean, yeah, you've just do all this stuff, but then let go of the attachment around how it's coming, and I would even say let go of the attachment of if it comes, because maybe that's coming next year, in 2026.
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: So still keep working towards it, but stop trying to force it.
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: And that's the beauty of surrendering, yeah.
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: Surrender and that's the beauty of surrendering, yeah, literally Really.
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: And another one that's kind of like an FYI is let's stop waiting to Monday, wait till the next month.
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: Okay, next month, next year, next Monday.
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: I'm doing it next Monday, just start today.
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: Well, that's what cracks me up about resolutions.
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: Well, january 1st, I'm doing it next Monday.
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: Just start today.
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: Well, that's what cracks me up about resolutions.
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: Well, january 1st, I'm like well, why didn't you start it on December 16th, when you had the idea Exactly?
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: I mean your life is, and that's what we always miss.
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: We always miss the now because we're so occupied with yesterday and with the tomorrow, and then yesterday is already gone, tomorrow's not even here, yep, and we're ignoring the now, which is the present, yeah, and not just a present.
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: The present, I'm talking like past, present, future.
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: The present, it's a gift.
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: So that's why it's important to just start today.
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: So, if you have the idea, start on December 16th, don't start on January 1st.
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: Start your resolution or whatever you want to call it called it early.
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, start working on being who you need to be like now, as soon as you stop listening to us Exactly and anything else that you want to add.
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: No, just keep at it, you guys, and message us right.
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: We love your feedback, Shoot us a message Be gentle with yourself yes.
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: Shoot us a message on Instagram.
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, especially if you want us to dive into anything more of course, yes, and please share this episode with at least one friend that might benefit rate the podcast.
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: We definitely love to hear from you and, like kira said, we love to hear your feedback and there's anything else you want us to talk about, we're here.
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: Bye.