Latest / The Daily Sarcast / October 12th, 2026: Our Colorful Moon, The White House And Parents Weekend
Transcript
- 0:00Did you accidentally open an umbrella indoors, and now you've cursed yourself
- 0:04and you're not sure what to do?
- 0:06Introducing the Umbrella Exorcist, the only service dedicated to reversing the
- 0:11seven years of bad luck caused by one completely unnecessary umbrella open when
- 0:16you opened it way too early when you were leaving somewhere.
- 0:19For just $49.99, one of their certified superstition specialists will come to
- 0:24your home, wave some sage around, whisper knock on wood three times,
- 0:30and confirm with you that mercury is in retrograde.
- 0:34Premium packages include throwing salt over your shoulder, spinning you around
- 0:38in a circle six times, and having a rabbi, priest, and psychic all tell you
- 0:43that it's probably fine.
- 0:45If you're still worried, their VIP package includes a full spiritual background
- 0:49check to determine whether the umbrella was already cursed before you bought it.
- 0:54The Umbrella Exorcist Because you open an umbrella in your kitchen and now you're
- 0:59afraid you're fucked for the rest of your life.
- 1:01The Umbrella Exorcist cannot guarantee the reversal of bad luck and is not responsible
- 1:06for any additional misfortune, including, but not limited to,
- 1:09a breakup, a parking ticket, or your ex getting engaged.
- 1:1312-year-olds, just fuck you up. I get killed right away and they taunt you and
- 1:18shit like, you suck, fuck you.
- 1:21Ben Affleck admitting he gets into fights with kids in chat rooms while playing Fortnite.
- 1:26Insert theme song here. This is the Daily Sarcast. I give you the news and maybe a laugh.
- 1:31I'm Lindsay Vernick and today is October 12th, 2026.
- 1:35Happy Monday. I hope you guys all had a nice weekend.
- 1:39God, it literally has been rainy at least the past three Sundays in a row. It's like crazy.
- 1:45Like, yeah, I love a rainy Sunday, but also it's gotten to the point where it's
- 1:49like, okay, we get it. Can we like have some normal weather now for a Sunday?
- 1:54In real news. So NASA just put out new data from its mission that it had this past year.
- 2:01And it turns out that the moon is a lot more colorful than we originally thought.
- 2:06So do you remember like way back in April when four astronauts traveled around the moon?
- 2:12So apparently they saw like the moon has subtle shades of brown,
- 2:16blue, green, and yellow across the surface. Like so pretty.
- 2:21One astronaut even described one area of the moon looking like a John Dice cheek
- 2:26of the moon, which is how I describe myself after a weekend of drinking.
- 2:31But these colors aren't just, like, for show. Scientists say that some of the
- 2:36blue areas indicate that there's titanium-rich volcanic rocks.
- 2:42Brown areas show that there could be some iron there.
- 2:45And the green shows that there might be some glass formed by some really old
- 2:51volcanic eruptions or just, like, some impact by an asteroid.
- 2:56The astronauts also saw five tiny flashes of light that were caused by rocks hitting the moon.
- 3:03I mean, the moon is literally always getting pelted by space debris.
- 3:08So now NASA has released more than 800 gigabytes of data from the mission,
- 3:13which is like a lot of information.
- 3:15That includes over 11,000 images and videos for all scientists and the public to look at.
- 3:22So for all space junkies like this could not be more an exciting time for them
- 3:27i'm sure so now nasa thinks that the moon is basically a mood ring,
- 3:32and maybe we should let the moon have this moment right now like it's been hanging
- 3:36around our planet for billions of years and we're now just noticing its undertones,
- 3:42and like that's a bit confusing right.
- 3:46Considering that we've been there a bunch of times, did no one look closely,
- 3:50or was everyone just too busy planting flags and taking pictures of themselves?
- 3:55But again, I didn't really pay attention in geology, so maybe this stuff is just really hard to see.
- 4:00Hurricane Simon is heading down Mexico's Pacific coast, with winds reaching
- 4:05around 155 miles an hour, making it a really intense Category 4 hurricane and
- 4:13potentially Category 5.
- 4:15So as of yesterday, the storm is moving very slowly towards the coast,
- 4:19near very popular tourist destinations, including Puerto Vallarta.
- 4:23This is leaving many college students very stressed about their spring break
- 4:27plans for this year. Oh no!
- 4:30They're warning that some areas could get up to 30 inches of rain.
- 4:34That's enough to cause life-threatening flooding and mudslides,
- 4:37especially in the mountain areas.
- 4:40Classes and schools in dozens of coastal communities have been suspended.
- 4:45Evacuations have started in some areas, and they've already started opening up emergency shelters.
- 4:51Puerto Vallera's international airport has also closed as everyone's preparing for the storm.
- 4:56So that probably sucks, to say the least, for whoever decided to go on vacation right now there.
- 5:01And the thing about this storm is what makes it super, super dangerous is that
- 5:06even if the eye of the hurricane doesn't make direct landfall,
- 5:10the winds and the enormous waves and heavy rainfall are still going to cause
- 5:14really, really bad damage.
- 5:16So this goes to say that this is a really big and dangerous storm,
- 5:20and everyone is being urged to follow evacuation instructions if needed and
- 5:25just stay inside. Let's hope it's not too bad.
- 5:29Okay something really really horrible happened this weekend actually a couple
- 5:32really horrible things happened but i'm just going to talk about one of them
- 5:36because i don't need to obviously go into everything because i'm sure you also
- 5:40read the news or at least i would hope so,
- 5:43so the one really bad thing i'm going to talk about is the missile attack that
- 5:47hit the main international airport in saudi arabia arabia killing at least 13
- 5:53people and injuring more than 300,
- 5:56So it was the Houthis that are backed by Iran who attacked Saudi Arabia.
- 6:01And then, very unexpectedly, the airport was hit again yesterday.
- 6:05So they were hit twice, once on Saturday and one on Sunday this weekend.
- 6:09The airport has obviously been closed since, and the Houthis have warned airlines
- 6:12and everyone to continue to stay away from Saudi airspace.
- 6:17What's so horrible is that innocent people just traveling in the airport were
- 6:21either killed or injured, and Saudi Arabia has vowed to retaliate against Iran.
- 6:28And Trump says that the United States might jump in with Saudi to go against
- 6:34the Houthis. So we'll see about that.
- 6:36So this could become yet another war, making more places hard to travel to and
- 6:42increase our prices of everything.
- 6:45I mean you all know I hate talking about this stuff but this was really big
- 6:49and I figured I'd touch on it super super fast so if you want to learn more definitely read up on it,
- 6:54in Lindsay life my parents visited this past weekend so it was like a little
- 6:59parents weekend it was really nice we like went to lunch with my roommate and
- 7:04like we all got to catch up because my roommate is like never in town so that was super fun,
- 7:08one thing though was that my parents
- 7:10acted like they were never have never been to New York City before.
- 7:15Like every store that we walk by, they had to like announce it.
- 7:19They were like a bagel store, pizza, Dunkin Donuts. I'm like,
- 7:23guys, have you never been to New York City? Like, I'm so confused.
- 7:28And then my mom wouldn't let us walk on the grates, like, you know,
- 7:35on the sidewalk. And I am finding out now a lot of people are very superstitious about this stuff, too.
- 7:40Like, my mom wouldn't let any of us walk on, like, the grates on the sidewalk.
- 7:44You know what I'm talking about? Like, not, like, where the sewer stuff is, but, like, the grates.
- 7:49I guess that's all I could. That's the only way to explain it.
- 7:52And like she was going against traffic to like walking in on the other side
- 7:57where people were walking they kept running into people i'm like mom you have
- 8:00to walk on the great side and she absolutely refused for us and everybody else to do it,
- 8:06because like god forbid we fall in and i was like mom what are the chances of
- 8:10us falling in and she's like well what are the chances of anything happening these days
- 8:15it's like good point really good point thing of the week this week is the whole
- 8:19White House press investigation.
- 8:21So as you probably know, the Department of Justice is investigating ABC,
- 8:26CBS, CNN, NBC, and Fox News after all of these networks temporarily stopped
- 8:32showing Trump for like a hot second last week.
- 8:36So if you weren't paying attention or listened to the Daily Sarcast that day,
- 8:39the White House refused to let in reporters from CNN, MSNOW,
- 8:43and Politico from coming into the White House and reporting.
- 8:47So all of the news networks came together and they said, well,
- 8:51if they can't come in, then we're not going to come in either. Ha ha, that sucks.
- 8:56And then also the networks who were banned sued to get their badges back and
- 9:01a judge temporarily restored their access.
- 9:04So now the DOJ is looking into whether the network's united decision violated
- 9:08antitrust law, which is designed to prevent these very things from happening.
- 9:14Because when, like, five television networks collectively decide not to cover
- 9:18the president after reporters are banned from the White House,
- 9:21that might be a Justice Department issue.
- 9:24But when the government starts investigating the networks or how they cover
- 9:28the government, that brings a pretty important question about press freedom.
- 9:33The press is supposed to hold the government accountable, not the other way
- 9:37around. And also, you know, that's kind of how our Constitution was designed.
- 9:43Like, I might not have paid attention in geology class, but at least I paid
- 9:47attention in history class, and I don't think our government did.
- 9:50Cooking tip of the day. Taste your pasta before you put it in the streamer.
- 9:54Feedback, comments, questions, and nice Jewish by looking for a date,
- 9:58email me at lindsay at thedailystarcast.com.
- 10:00Thank you so much for listening, and I will talk to you guys tomorrow.