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Can You Really Meditate In A Fire Truck? · The Inner Well Podcast

• The Inner Well Podcast: We all contain a space within that when enlivened and nourished will support us with unwavering stability, expansion, and peace of mind. Join us each week as we dive into honest, grounded conversations about transcendental meditation, consciousness, and growth, and what it means to live an integrated life supported by a foundation of creativity and calm. This is the Inner World. Hi, everyone. Welcome back to the InnerWell podcast. I'm really excited to be having this conversation with James Colford, who is a lieutenant in the La Habra Heights department. And James, firstly, welcome to the podcast. Really happy to have you here. I appreciate you inviting me to come on. Excellent. So, you know, we're having this conversation for a number of reasons. One of them is that you practice TM, you learned TM, and I'd love to hear a little bit about your story, but... I'd first like to start with what you do. What drew you to the fire service? How long have you been working in this capacity? Yeah, absolutely. So I grew up in a fire service family. My dad has ⁓ been a firefighter since he was 16. Originally came from the suburbs of Chicago. So I grew up around the fire service. I was in and out of a firehouse before I was able to walk. ⁓ I'd been around that culture my whole life. And as soon as I was able to join a fire department, I did it. As soon as I turned 16, I joined as a cadet. And as soon as I turned 18, I took my exams to get my fire certifications. I became an ENT in 2011, a paramedic in 2016, came a lieutenant in 2010. And then I left Illinois in 2013. worked in tech for a while consulting and decided to go back into the fire service. So now I work in the fire service in Southern California, I work full time for the Haber Heights Fire Department as a Lieutenant. So that's kind of how I got involved with the fire service. ⁓ A lot of my family members are in the fire service. So it's just a kind of a part of our blood to do service work. I love that. Yeah, it's a natural fit. And that must be an interesting experience just growing up in a family that it was, you know, that was part of your world, part of what you did. I think that, you when we think about firefighters, there's an idea of a real understanding that the job is demanding. I would imagine incredibly demanding physically and mentally. I'd love to hear from you. What is the real experience? What is it like to be doing this? How have you experienced being a firefighter, sort of physical, mental challenges you may have experienced along the way? Yeah, absolutely. That's a great question. Usually when people ask these questions, they're like, what is the worst call you've ever seen? I feel like that's a pretty common question or the craziest thing you've seen. But I would say that when it comes to physicality and ⁓ the mental side of things, I think my opinion and view has changed over time. When I was younger, first starting out on the fire service, I was just ready to do anything. I was always ready for whatever was going to come my way and I was excited and... I was glad to be there, but I mean, your mind really isn't fully developed until you hit your mid-20s. And I really didn't have the mentally to be able to handle all the things that I didn't know that I was gonna see or I knew I was gonna see, but I just figured I was immune to it like everybody else around me. And what I've grown to realize, and it's interesting because I never truly understood what kind of impact this job had on me until... I left the fire service for a brief period. And once you're not around all those people anymore, your friends and your coworkers and your colleagues, and you're not doing the job, you kind of sit with everything and everything just kind of comes back to you. And you start associating just normal mundane things with something horrific that you saw. So it can be very challenging. It's a physically demanding job. cardiovascular risks are at an all-time high as a firefighter, but also as mental health. And I didn't really have any tools to deal with it. It was kind of taboo to explore mental health. There was something wrong with you if you looked into that space. I met my girlfriend, my current partner, Allie, and I met her in just before COVID. So we literally started dating like right when COVID happened. And she really opened my eyes to mental health resources. And it was just like, hey, like, you know, I think you could really benefit and I trust her. So I and did EMDR. I'm starting to do another kinds of modalities. And the amount of self-exploration and growth that I was able to achieve during that time was significant. It doesn't make sense to me why in the fire service, we don't exercise our mind as much as we do our body because it's an important tool that we rely on in critical situations. And when I learned TM and how I learned TM, and I tried to learn TM a couple of times and I'd gone to like an intro session once or twice and it just didn't sound like it was the thing that I needed to do at that time. And I met Lynn from the David Lynch Foundation and she just explained it in a different way. I was super skeptical going in and not like I wanted it to not work, but like I just felt, was like, this is it. I've tried meditation before. I don't know if this is going to be the thing. she was just so great. So, so kind and warm. And I feel like she understood like where I was at, what I was going through. ⁓ And I went through it and it changed a lot of things for me. It allowed me to be more present. I know how I feel on the days that I do it and that I'm consistent and how I feel when I don't do it. And I knew as soon as I finished, I was like, wow, know, firefighters, you give them something and it works, like they're excited about it and they want to do everything they can to help it. And that's what led me to work with the David Lynch Foundation to help. spread this to more firefighters because it's just a tool that you can have. It's not going to be the cure-all for everything. There's a lot of pieces just like you can't only work out your biceps when you go to the gym. You have to do all these other major muscle groups and TM is just another exercise that you do that compliments everything else. It's my partner learned TM. I actually had a meeting today with some other firefighters and I feel like if I would have grew up in a household where we all did TM, I think it would have been drastically different. Like I feel like there would have increased connection. It just allows you to kind of be present. It's definitely been a gift and I'm really grateful to TM, the organization and David Lynch Foundation and Lynn, my instructor. She really crushed it. Amazing. You said so many great things in there, James. And I want to come back and talk more about. the David Lynch Foundation and the work the foundation is doing and first responders work, because I think it's so critical, like you said, and you're doing really great work partnering with them. But I want to go back to a couple of things you said in there, because of the way you describe just being in that environment culturally of the fire service, the fire department, that you don't talk about those things. It's taboo to talk about mental health, meditation, absolutely not, right? And that's the culture. And yet, like you said beautifully, what you do in that role is so mental and it takes a toll on the mental side of us. And yet I think we walk around feeling like we're, you know, the mental and the physical are separate when in fact those things are really critical and they feed on each other. So, and I love that you had that experience of kind of waking up to these different mental health modalities through your girlfriend. That's beautiful. You tried other meditations before at different points and at different points also you felt like, I don't know if TM is right. And I'm just curious if you remember what Lin said or what made you think, okay, maybe transcendental meditation is something a little different or not what I thought or maybe it could work for me. You mentioned three things there, the culture and why this is significant, other kinds of meditations that I had tried and what kind of was the defining moment with... when that made me think that this was the solution. There's the culture and like the job, like responding to calls where you have limited information and you have to synthesize that data and make a decision. And that decision could impact the person that you're helping's lives or the people around you, the community, or your fellow firefighters. And the side that's often not talked about is the fact that Not only is there a lot of pressure in those moments, especially it could be at two in the morning when you're sleeping and you're just immediately up and you're going to do that thing. But it's also just like, like being in the fire service. You meet some of the most incredible people who have the biggest hearts and want to help. But there's also the stress. You're, you have to appear like you're just the guy that you know every, gal, the firefighter that you know everything and you're ready for anything that happens. And it can be exhausting, like living in that space. Cause like the work we already do is stressful. And then to have the work outside of that, like the in-between stuff, like that is also has its own stress and you're there for 24, 48, 72 hours or more. So it's really hard to reset and recalibrate to get back into that parasympathetic state. because your fight or flight is just crazy. So like there's plenty of times where I like, come home and it's just like, I feel like I'm in order mode. Like I got to like do these things and knock these things out. And even like, I don't even realize that my communication is different. So doing stuff like this helps me reset. And I've tried other meditations. tried, I had a friend that I worked with. We did like chanting. um, meditations, like there's been mindfulness meditation. Uh, I did this like Airbnb class with this Buddhist monk to do like another form of chanting meditation. And I could just can never fully stay committed, um, to doing it. There's too much to be done in order to, feel like I can get there. when I learned TM from Lynn, the moment I realized that it was different was, I told her that I was having trouble meditating. So like, you couldn't focus. And like, I was just like, feel like everything around me is just stimulating. And so during the four days that I had with her, she told me, she was like, Hey, I want you to go to a construction site or somewhere near a construction site where it's obviously safe, but just park your car near there in an open spot and just like, try to like challenge yourself to be in an area where there is a lot of. things going on. I went through the process that she told me and it was effortless. It was easy. It was simple. And I was able to meditate for 15 minutes and it just, I just let all that pass through me. And that's when I knew that this was different because I was able to do it so effortlessly and I could do it anywhere. And I do do it anywhere. I sometimes like, if I'm not the one driving obviously like I'm in the back of the engine, like I'll do it on our way back from a call. I'm still able to be cognizant of everything that's happening around me. So if we get another call or, you know, we're communicating with each other, I'm able to still process all that. And sometimes I'll do it in the morning when I wake up at work or before I to bed, or I'll do it when I get home. But it's important that you try to maintain consistency with it because it's really easy with a busy lifestyle to deprioritize yourself. I love that. think, you what you said, just describing those experiences of being in a noisy environment, being on the way home from a call, a lot of meditation practices, there's sort of some barriers. You got to be in a special room. You have to be completely quiet. We're just settling down into ourself. It's such a natural, simple process. That's something that allows us to continue to prioritize it and make it a consistent practice. So when we add this meditation in, it's just... resetting everything. Maybe what are some of the things you started noticing right away outside of meditation, some of the benefits that you noticed? Yeah, absolutely. So when it comes to the benefits of utilizing this process, I feel that I have better sleep, I feel more relaxed. It also is kind of nice to have like a break in case of emergency tool. And, you know, if I'm feeling anxious or just like, feel like I can't shut off or I had a really long day or I'm just trying to like make time for myself. You know, I'll do this meditation and it's helpful and I feel rested and I noticed that my mood is just so much better and I feel so much more relaxed. I feel so much more present because I think there's a big piece of it too that you're just really practicing self-care and self-love and thinking about yourself intentionally in terms of like your own like peacefulness. So I feel like those intentions being put towards that space really help you like operate more efficiently, which is incredibly important ⁓ for first responders, militaries, any other service workers, people who work in the hospital. ⁓ We're mentally fatigued all the time. So any way we can get quality sleep. ⁓ I am all about it. All about it. Yeah, I think that's so right on. And you said something earlier about having to be the guy that knows everything, that's going to handle everything in that moment when you're on call, for example, or all the time. The sort of real pressure that all first responders feel in some capacity, or health care workers, where you've got to be completely in control in that situation. You're the trusted person in that very scary, stressful situation and projecting that out. ⁓ huge toll on us mentally and physically. Now, you and I have met a few times at some David Lynch events. And one thing that I'd really like to talk about a little bit is the really beautiful and powerful work that the David Lynch Foundation and you as part of it are doing. I have seen you speak at some of these events and you're always just so personal and impactful with all of the things that you're saying. But I'd love to hear a little bit about what capacity you've been working with the David Lynch Foundation with. And, you know, for our listeners who aren't familiar with the David Lynch Foundation, just really briefly, David Lynch, the incredible director, founded the David Lynch Foundation with Bob Roth. Their mission is really to bring this technique to a number of different communities. And specifically in this conversation, we're talking about the sort of first responder community. Yeah, absolutely. So as I mentioned earlier, I, as soon as I did it, I knew that I wanted to help get this into the hands of more firefighters. ⁓ And, you I've made some really good connections with different departments. I like meeting new people and I like having authentic ⁓ conversations with people. And that's really what I do with the David Lynch Foundation. ⁓ Their organization, as you mentioned, like was established by Delete. film director and I'm eternally grateful for him doing this because if he didn't have this foundation, I don't know if I would have ⁓ learned TM. And the TM organization does approach it just slightly differently because they're really trying to work with those people who work in the service space or victims of domestic violence, people that just, it's an urgent need for them to have this tool. And I think everybody should have this tool. Everybody experiences stress in their life just because ⁓ I'm a firefighter, someone's a doctor, someone's like, we are being exposed to more traumatic things time over time. But that doesn't mean that the person next to Susan, a firefighter, isn't experiencing trauma time after time after time. So I think this tool is just great for everybody, not explicitly one person. But I just strongly believe in David Lynch's message and mission. So I've made it my goal to... try to connect with as many firefighters as possible. Been helping them connect with a lot of different agencies in Southern California. yeah, so I kind of like set meetings, I go to conferences, I help them set up events. You know, I do some follow-up and try to organize meetings and be there and be present to talk about my experiences, how it might fit into a schedule, just because I have insight into how... our fire department schedule and like what the work life is. So having that unique perspective is definitely helpful to see how TM can be interwoven with that. So, you know, the first thing you're going to get from a lot of firefighters is like, I don't have that time. can't, I can't possibly do this. once you're able to get in there and show the leadership, the value of what it can actually do, firefighters are just looking for them to know that it's okay. That's the biggest thing, especially when guys start out in the academy, they just want to be quiet. They don't want to cause any issues. They just want to be able to take direction. And if the leaders, the captains, the BC, the battalion chiefs, ⁓ engineers, senior firefighters, if they're practicing this and they see the value to which... That's the thing is I was super skeptical and you just have to try it. And if you don't like it, you don't like it. it's fine, but it's one hour for four days straight. If you have to get trades, that's what you have to do to make it happen. If your department adopts it, ⁓ they may pay for you to go and have time to go do this. One of the biggest ways is that we fit really best into curriculum. So if there's a class already happening, like department wide class, an academy, that's a great place to start it because you're getting people right when they start. And one of the areas that we're really trying to focus on too is retirees. So people who've now left the job and the other live in the second part of their life or a new chapter, bring in something like this to them to help them cope with what they currently have. But the goal is to hit everybody in the cycle. We don't want to focus too hard on just one because you want to make sure that people coming in to deal with it and people who are currently doing can deal with it and people that have left that they can also have this tool and have access to it. So. That's pretty much what I've been doing for David Lynch is mainly focusing on trying to, you know, bridge those relationships because it's hard. You know, we got people who are veterans that help us connect with other veterans. Yeah, it takes people, it takes advocacy to really help and departments truly want mental health solutions. really do care about their people and they just got to know what tools are out there and that won't happen unless you're having good conversation. Yeah, really well said. One of the things that you're doing is you're providing this sort of trusted resource, you know, like, hey, I was just like you, I was skeptical too. I think, you know, there are people probably listening, maybe some firefighters, maybe anybody who's listening that is like, yeah, I relate to that. I'm kind of skeptical. Is it going to work for me? And one thing you said that I really love is that it works. We don't want to waste our time doing something that doesn't work. And when there's someone looking for a tool to really be effective, this is such an effective tool. So I'm just curious, know, if someone today is listening to this and thinking, I'm not really sure if this is for me, what would you say to that person who's sort of skeptical or on the fence or worry that it's not gonna work for them in some reason? Yeah, I mean, I think if you're making gambles on yourself in terms of like, it has the potential. to maybe improve yourself 1 % better, I think it's always worth it to do. If you are a firefighter or not a firefighter and you have anxiety or stress, you're having trouble sleeping, you wanna be a better communicator or just kind of be more present, there's a lot of ways that this can help you heal and manage yourself. And I think that If you're skeptical, you should just try it because the worst that's going to happen is you wasted four hours. We spend four hours binging, watching the latest whatever show, Netflix. And, ⁓ you know, I think it's important to instead of doom scroller, which I do all the time and I need to stop, but it's four hours of self-investment. And, you know, if you're able to get a grant through David Lynch, then that's great. But yeah, I know four days seems like a lot. if you get to set any sort of flexibility on things, it's just, know, firefighters are all about efficiency. So like, hey, can I just learn this like in a day? And it's like, you can learn it in a day. But the thing is, is the reason why we do four days in person is because it is the thing I didn't understand until I actually did it. But it's about creating routine and to one, give you more information on how the meditation is actually gonna help you. Because the first day you're getting your mantra, you're getting, you know, introduced to it and getting to do it for the first time. And then the second time you come in, we're going a little bit deeper, you get to meditate again. And then the third day, like they're going more in depth of like, what it like, how to properly meditate and like answer any questions you have. And then the fourth day is just compounding all of that information. So it's important because it helps you build that routine so that you have it for life. That's also why I these other meditations probably worked for me because I just took the class or watched the YouTube video and then, you know, didn't do anything after that. I love that. I think that that explanation of the four days is exactly right. You want to learn it once and you want to have this foundation for the rest of your life. So really well said. And I think this this journey of yours, the story that you've shared is really inspiring. Just coming from a place of just natural stress in the job, in the work, and not knowing how to kind of deal with it, and then finding your way through sort of a number of ways to TM. And now all the beautiful work you're doing to bring it to other people. And again, I've seen this happening in LA, more and more people through the work that you all are doing are learning TM, which is incredible. And that makes a huge difference, not only on our individual physiology, we're the first recipient, of course, of this, but it's people pick up on that energy. They wanna know what's different about you. Why are you so calm? Something shifted and they wanna be around you. And so that just us meditating helps others. So I like to end with a question to everybody. This podcast is called the inner well. So I'm just curious, what does that term the inner well mean to you? Yeah. So. Immediately, my mind goes to viewing myself as a well. I kind of view it as like the depth of yourself and ⁓ how far are you willing to dive into yourself to discover new pieces about yourself. And I feel that TM allows me to drop deeper to be able to feel those things and have better relationships and more authentic conversations and just be present, but also just the state of wellness. Like it's a part of the circle just as much as, you know, going to the gym or running or doing whatever kind of sports you like to do. I'm more of a sports person. I like to play tennis, know, pickleball, basketball, like surf, like I like snowboarding. Just, I like to just be active. And I think that's why I like the fire service so much because I can just, it's like I'm playing a sport every day. I just get to go do the things and use cool tools and ⁓ But yeah, I think that inner wellness is important. And ⁓ I think anything you can do to do more self discovery is going to be a benefit to you. And I really can't end it without thanking Lynn again and thanking Bob and Vin. Vin's done an incredible job out here. Also Monica, like Monica's like been outstanding and she's really helped us teach. a lot of first responders out here and have a lot of impact working with their families as well. And we've got Johnny down in San Diego and then Adam doing the research. There's a lot of people, part of the team, and especially the team organization itself, you he's a bit of a defense with us and we try to do a lot of things hand in hand. And yeah, I'm just excited to see where this journey takes us. And I hope everybody can learn to meditate. I think this world would be a better place for it. Beautiful. Well, James, thank you so much for being here and speaking to us. And I really honestly feel inspired every time I talk to you, even if it's just a few words or luckily we have three minutes talking. thank you so much for being here and being on the InterWell and look forward to seeing you at another event soon. Yeah, I appreciate it, Emily. Thank you. Thanks so much. 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