Latest / The FEEL Podcast: Women’s Empowerment, Emotional Wellness and Self-Leadership with Melissa Crook / Be Present, Not Perfect – Letting Go of Guilt & Expectations with Stacey Olson

Transcript

Be Present, Not Perfect – Letting Go of Guilt & Expectations with Stacey Olson · The FEEL Podcast: Women’s Empowerment, Emotional Wellness and Self-Leadership with Melissa Crook

• 0:02
  Hello, Melissa Crook here from The Field Podcast.
• 0:05
  I've got some ways to engage for you to consider today as you're
• 0:09
  listening to our episode Saying No with Confidence and Without
• 0:14
  Guilt with Stacey Olson. Think about if there is a
• 0:17
  balance between the different areas of your life.
• 0:20
  How can you maintain this balance or create more clear
• 0:26
  alignments? Remember that self-care isn't
• 0:29
  selfish. If you want to prioritize those
• 0:32
  you love, taking care of yourself always allows you to
• 0:37
  show up for them the way that you want to fully present, fully
• 0:42
  refreshed, and it just allows you to be the authentic person
• 0:48
  you want to be. But it requires making sure our
• 0:51
  lives are in alignment. And we're going to talk a lot
• 0:54
  about that today with Stacey Olson.
• 0:57
  And we hope this gives you some things to think about as we're
• 1:00
  going through this episode together.
• 1:03
  Thanks so much for being with us.
• 1:21
  Hello and welcome back to The Field Podcast this week.
• 1:24
  I have a new friend here today. Stacey Olson reached out to me
• 1:29
  via our contact form on our website, and I really love those
• 1:35
  reach outs because they give us a chance to meet some people
• 1:39
  that heard about us in a different way.
• 1:41
  I love having our friends from Podmatch, obviously, I love
• 1:44
  having people I know in my personal life, but it's just
• 1:47
  another branch that allows us to get in contact with people that
• 1:52
  maybe we wouldn't have ever connected with otherwise.
• 1:55
  And Stacy is one of those people today.
• 1:58
  She's going to have so much to say about our talking points and
• 2:02
  you're going to understand why as we go through them and the
• 2:06
  resources that she has available to you now via that.
• 2:10
  But Stacy's journey, unfortunately, is not unlike a
• 2:15
  lot of ours where she just got to a point in her own life of
• 2:21
  I've got to do something different.
• 2:23
  This way of existing is not working for me anymore.
• 2:27
  And I told her before we started recording.
• 2:30
  My goal is that someday enough people will listen to these
• 2:34
  conversations that they will start putting this framework in
• 2:39
  place from the beginning. And I'm talking like 18 to 22 to
• 2:45
  30 year olds who are young and out there.
• 2:48
  Use this framework from the get go.
• 2:50
  Don't wait until you're, you know, get 5101520 years down the
• 2:54
  road and realize, hold on, I haven't been taking care of
• 2:58
  myself. I haven't been saying no to
• 3:00
  anything on and on and on. So Stacy is familiar with this
• 3:04
  path and we're here to help you. If you're on that path, get off
• 3:07
  it with this framework and also help those younger ones around
• 3:12
  you and have this as a tool that's available to them so they
• 3:17
  don't have to hit these walls that we run into.
• 3:21
  Stacy describes herself as present, optimistic and with
• 3:26
  integrity. She believes in walking the
• 3:29
  talk. And so all of these things that
• 3:31
  you're going to hear today. Stacy and I do this.
• 3:34
  We don't just write and talk about these things.
• 3:37
  These are an active part of our life to help us stay in
• 3:41
  alignment, healthy, authentic, whole, not burned out.
• 3:47
  And and that is such an important piece of this work is
• 3:51
  people will follow what they see.
• 3:54
  And if what you say and what you do are not in alignment, then it
• 3:58
  lacks integrity and you're not going to be able to get people
• 4:01
  to really buy into this thing, no matter how much how
• 4:04
  passionately you talk about. So I love that Stacey mentioned
• 4:07
  that. Stacey Olson, Welcome to the
• 4:09
  Field podcast. Thank you so much for having me
• 4:13
  here and sharing with your audience and everyone who's
• 4:16
  listening. I'm happy to do it.
• 4:18
  I'm happy to do it. OK, let's get right into it.
• 4:21
  Talk to me about prioritizing self-care in your life.
• 4:24
  This is something you had to get to to realize.
• 4:27
  Hold on a minute. I've got I've not been filling
• 4:32
  my own cup. So talk to me about this journey
• 4:34
  of getting to that point and having that realization.
• 4:38
  Yeah, so it was about 10 years ago now where I was working
• 4:45
  607080 R the odd 80R work week, which now I'm like, I don't even
• 4:50
  know how I did that cause I've trained myself out of that and
• 4:53
  three kids at home, teenager and two younger ones and marriage
• 5:00
  and and you just do it right. You, you show up each day, you
• 5:04
  do your best. But I was feeling I was really,
• 5:09
  really struggling on the inside with worry about what people
• 5:13
  will think or feeling guilty about letting people down or
• 5:15
  just spread so thin. Looked pretty good on the
• 5:19
  outside. I could show up pretty good in
• 5:21
  my work, but my work got the best side of me and my family
• 5:25
  got the worst side of me. I had very little oomph and
• 5:28
  energy left or presents. I'm very present now.
• 5:32
  I wasn't really present back then, and after operating that
• 5:36
  way for a number of years, it got to the point where it was
• 5:38
  hurting my connection with my husband and kids.
• 5:41
  I knew something had to change and there were a few things that
• 5:46
  led to it, but there was this moment where I was like,
• 5:49
  something has to change. And so I stopped working outside
• 5:52
  of business hours cold Turkey. Like I'm going from the 6070
• 5:56
  hour work weeks to like I'm going to a regular work week.
• 5:59
  I have no idea how this will happen.
• 6:01
  I thought I'm just going to tank my career.
• 6:03
  And I had a, you know, demanding career, seen as a high
• 6:07
  performer, did very well, bright future.
• 6:08
  I thought I'm going to tank that.
• 6:10
  But I need to be there for my family and I want to feel
• 6:13
  better. I don't feel like crap each day.
• 6:16
  Yeah. So I got a lot of my personal
• 6:18
  time back. And the unexpected thing that
• 6:22
  happened through that is I started to perform even better,
• 6:26
  which I didn't anticipate that, and I didn't understand the
• 6:30
  science and research which I'm trained in now.
• 6:32
  I didn't understand the time. I was just figuring it out.
• 6:35
  I started to perform better because I started to actually
• 6:39
  prioritize my day. I learned how to say no in a way
• 6:43
  that kept my relationship strong.
• 6:46
  I was more focused on the right things and let go of those
• 6:50
  things that weren't the best use of my time or, you know,
• 6:53
  delegated to my team or before I would just take it all on
• 6:56
  myself. And it really started to open my
• 6:59
  eyes up to, oh wow, I could be a lot more balanced in my life and
• 7:07
  I can perform even better with that.
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  And so I did. I got a promotion at work and
• 7:14
  things were really good and I was really happy with that.
• 7:18
  And then it got to the point. So I prioritized, to your
• 7:22
  question of self-care, protecting my time and energy,
• 7:25
  having boundaries between my work and personal life,
• 7:29
  prioritizing my own needs, that I learned that and that was good
• 7:33
  and again, performed better from it.
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  Another part that I hadn't learned until after I left my
• 7:39
  corporate career was how to calm my busy mind.
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  And that's another part of self-care.
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  We when we think of self-care, a lot of times it's like, what are
• 7:48
  the things we're doing? It's like what helps calm your
• 7:50
  mind? And so while I had better
• 7:52
  boundaries and I prioritized better and I said no, I was
• 7:55
  still in my head a lot. I was still worried about what
• 8:00
  will people think or feeling guilty that I was saying no to
• 8:03
  someone and carrying that mental load, which a lot of, especially
• 8:08
  women do and moms carry that extra mental load of trying to
• 8:12
  keep track of it all in your mind.
• 8:14
  And so when I left my corporate career, that was a piece I
• 8:18
  figured out after. And a big question I was driven
• 8:21
  by is how do we be our best and feel our best even with all the
• 8:24
  demands and expectations? Because that's not going away.
• 8:28
  So what can we do for ourselves? And so part of my self-care
• 8:32
  routine was those boundaries with my time, but also what are
• 8:35
  the things to help take care of my stress and take care of my
• 8:38
  mind? And that looks different for
• 8:43
  different people, right? Like we, there's a, there's an
• 8:46
  endless amount of good things we can do for ourselves.
• 8:49
  It's really, and, and when I work with clients and, and talk
• 8:52
  about, it's like figuring out what works for you, what helps
• 8:55
  you, not what you see other people like what helps you.
• 8:58
  And so I really embrace that, even though it's different than
• 9:02
  others might be doing it and and prioritized here, you know, the
• 9:07
  few things in my day and my week that help me to feel and be my
• 9:10
  best, including boundaries with my time And, and that really,
• 9:16
  you know, opened me up to helping others in this space.
• 9:21
  And also to be more present in my own life and have that strong
• 9:27
  connection with my husband and kids and have time and space for
• 9:32
  me too. And, you know, learning that.
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  And I think for people listening often we can put ourselves last
• 9:38
  set. You matter, too.
• 9:40
  Yeah. And so making yourself a
• 9:43
  priority is important because when you do, you can also, not
• 9:47
  only do you feel better, you can also show up for others in a
• 9:50
  better way. And that was a big when I
• 9:53
  learned, is that there's a difference between.
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  I think we're all doing our best.
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  There's a difference between doing our best and being our
• 10:04
  best self. And a lot of that stress and
• 10:06
  overwhelm and being exhausted that hides our best.
• 10:11
  We get we get grumpy with the people we love.
• 10:14
  We are distracted when we're at work and and so clearing some of
• 10:20
  that. And I always say like instead of
• 10:21
  sacrificing our career and our family, let's sacrifice the
• 10:23
  overwhelm and the worry and the overworking cassette hides a lot
• 10:28
  of what our best is. So yeah.
• 10:31
  So that's kind of where I got to prioritizing my own self-care
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  and then and then inviting others to do that as well so
• 10:39
  they can be more balanced and less stressed and and perform
• 10:43
  better too, because we perform better when we feel better.
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  We do. I you hit on a couple of really
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  good points about I had a feeling even before you said it.
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  I'm like I bet she showed up clear minded and as a better
• 10:57
  employee when she started working less because we don't
• 11:01
  take that into account. But if you stop for 5 minutes
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  and think about it, of course I'm more rested.
• 11:09
  My mind, my head is clear. I've given my time and space
• 11:13
  away so many times. When we can clear our minds and
• 11:16
  clear our heads and do those things and spend time in areas
• 11:21
  that nourish us with the people that we love.
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  All of those things help us come back at our workspaces more
• 11:29
  clear minded, with better, fresher ideas, more organized
• 11:33
  time. Because, OK, I've only got so
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  many times in a day when we don't live by some kind of a
• 11:40
  calendar or a schedule, it allows for us to just keep going
• 11:45
  and just keep going and just keep going.
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  Whereas if we build a structure that we are asking ourselves to
• 11:53
  live to, then it protects that time.
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  And you realize, wait a minute, I can be very efficient here if
• 12:00
  I'm asking that of myself. And everybody wins when I do
• 12:03
  that. I'm a better employee, I'm a
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  better leader, I'm a better teammate, definitely a better
• 12:10
  parent and partner and friend and daughter and all of those
• 12:14
  things. And so we just aren't, we're in
• 12:16
  this go, go, go society. And we wear this.
• 12:21
  I work 70 to 80 hours a week, especially when we're like in
• 12:24
  our 20s and 30s like a mantra. And it's like, no, you're just
• 12:30
  going to burn yourself out. And I I know a lot of people
• 12:34
  that did that early on, and they wore it like a badge of honor.
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  And it didn't lead anywhere good in the long run.
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  There was always a point that just it didn't work anymore.
• 12:45
  Something happened. There was some kind of a
• 12:47
  breaking point. And yeah, so I'm so glad you
• 12:51
  pointed that on him. That's so important, so powerful
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  to think about. And also like you said,
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  prioritizing our Wellness. Everybody wins.
• 13:01
  We we get this idea that we're supposed to sacrifice ourselves
• 13:04
  from the time we're little kids, especially as girls, and put
• 13:08
  everybody else 1st and take care of everybody else.
• 13:10
  Well, who's taking care of you and what kind of a person?
• 13:14
  If you're a child or a partner or a Co worker, what kind of
• 13:19
  person do you want taking care of you?
• 13:21
  You want someone who's energized and happy to be there and
• 13:24
  content. Not that it's irritable and
• 13:27
  crabby and it feels like an obligation, not something that
• 13:32
  you want to be present in there doing.
• 13:34
  So we really have to flip our script on that.
• 13:36
  And you spoke to all of those things so well.
• 13:39
  And this really goes nicely into, because you've said it
• 13:41
  already, confidently setting boundaries.
• 13:43
  That's a part of our self-care, protecting our time, protecting
• 13:48
  our space, deciding what we're going to say yes and no to, but
• 13:52
  also getting over that guilt thing you talked about that
• 13:54
  guilt thing hanging there. I think we're kind of that's
• 13:56
  wired into US early on, especially when we make such a
• 14:00
  big shift where it's like, Nope, I mean, you probably in some
• 14:04
  ways felt like you're working part time going from 80 to 40.
• 14:07
  I mean, that's a big change. But also the other people around
• 14:12
  you have to get used to that change.
• 14:13
  And you not only have to set the boundary, you've got to
• 14:16
  communicate it and live by it. What was it like to do that when
• 14:21
  you made that shift to communicate that to people and
• 14:25
  let them know and start actually living it out?
• 14:28
  And did you, how much pushback did you get?
• 14:32
  So. So one thing when I decided to
• 14:36
  set that boundary, and this is a part of, I believe what made me
• 14:41
  affect him in my role as a leader is I'm very, very mindful
• 14:44
  of my communication. And so when I set that boundary,
• 14:50
  it was, OK, I'm going to go communicate this.
• 14:54
  And how can I do it in a confident way, in a calm way, in
• 14:59
  a way that helps still instill confidence in the other person
• 15:03
  that I got this, even though, you know, at the time, maybe I
• 15:07
  didn't quite feel like I had it, But so, so that was something.
• 15:11
  And two of my most important stakeholders probably were the
• 15:16
  most in the company. And, and so going to them, I,
• 15:21
  before I went into that conversation, I thought about,
• 15:24
  OK, what is that boundary I want to set?
• 15:27
  And, and coming at it from this place of who do I want to be?
• 15:31
  Who do I want to be as a leader? Who do I want to be as a parent?
• 15:34
  Who do I want to be in my life? OK, if I want to be more
• 15:38
  balanced and I still want to be effective team player and
• 15:42
  leader, what would I do? OK, well, I wouldn't be working
• 15:45
  all those hours If I was going to do it, I would thoughtfully
• 15:50
  communicate what my boundaries are.
• 15:52
  I'd let people know what I'm up to.
• 15:54
  And so I went into those conversations being very, hey,
• 15:59
  I'm going to be prioritizing my personal time.
• 16:03
  I'm confident we can still be successful.
• 16:05
  I've already thought through some meetings or some things
• 16:09
  that we can change or we can delegate to your team.
• 16:11
  And, you know, I believe, you know, we're going to be able to
• 16:15
  still be really effective at this.
• 16:17
  And it's about doing more of the things that matter and less of
• 16:19
  the things that don't. Yeah.
• 16:22
  And and that's how I went into the conversations.
• 16:25
  Not I'm so overwhelmed and I can't do this.
• 16:27
  My marriage is, you know, not great right now.
• 16:30
  And I and I think that's OK to say those things too.
• 16:33
  You don't want to you want to be open and, and share your
• 16:37
  struggles. I'm just sharing.
• 16:39
  That was my thing is that I'm very intentional about how I
• 16:42
  communicate and I wanted people to still have confidence that
• 16:46
  I'm going to be able to deliver. And and because I knew, I mean,
• 16:51
  I think we all know that we do some things that waste our time
• 16:55
  or maybe not the best use of our time or we could let our team
• 16:58
  members handle some stuff. And so that's an angle I came
• 17:03
  from it. And then when I even
• 17:04
  communicated to my team, because one thing is I quickly realized
• 17:09
  when I put that, OK, I'm done at 5, that was about just.
• 17:14
  Leave at 5:00. That's what we're doing.
• 17:17
  I quickly realized, OK, I need to put a time block during my
• 17:22
  work day to have some time to get my own work done.
• 17:24
  It wasn't going to work to be in meetings all day long anymore
• 17:28
  because I took away the option of doing it in the evening.
• 17:31
  So one thing that now when I teach boundaries and work with
• 17:36
  people on boundaries, it's this idea of carving out your
• 17:38
  personal time first, which is so counterintuitive.
• 17:43
  It really is it, it's so I, I get it, I understand it.
• 17:47
  I still sometimes when I put a new boundary in, I'm like, is
• 17:50
  this really going to work? But it, it forces you to make
• 17:55
  different choices. It protects your time and
• 17:58
  energy, but it also forces you to start to get clear on what is
• 18:02
  important and let go of some of the things that aren't.
• 18:05
  And so if I had waited to get my workload under control, I
• 18:08
  probably would have kept saying yes to too many things.
• 18:11
  I wouldn't have delegated as much.
• 18:13
  So by starting with that, you change the game you're playing
• 18:18
  and it starts to drive different decisions.
• 18:20
  And so that's where when I went into those conversations, it was
• 18:24
  OK, I'm going to be more focused on the things that matter.
• 18:28
  But when I put that time block in my calendar, a 2 hour time
• 18:32
  block each day was kind of the next boundary.
• 18:34
  I quickly realized I had to put in place.
• 18:36
  I told my team, hey, I'm going to be shutting my door.
• 18:39
  I care about you guys. If it's emergency, come get me.
• 18:41
  I'm just going to have some time to focus.
• 18:44
  I encourage you guys to do the same.
• 18:47
  And then This is why I'm there. If it's emergency, you don't
• 18:50
  come knock on my door because I'm still here for you guys.
• 18:52
  But just, you know, when you give, I don't, we didn't, we got
• 18:57
  to be mindful not to over explain ourselves.
• 19:00
  But when you can give a little bit of context, I found giving a
• 19:04
  little bit of context on why you're closing your door, why
• 19:08
  you might not be responding to emails in the evening,
• 19:10
  especially if it's different than how you operated before,
• 19:14
  then people can know what you're up to.
• 19:17
  So yeah, so to that question is very mindful of communicating
• 19:20
  it. And then the other piece, like
• 19:22
  you said, is actually following through.
• 19:24
  Yeah, yeah. To, to go and that at the end of
• 19:28
  the day, I'd be like, oh, no, I can't just leave, just leave,
• 19:32
  figure it out. And, and so we create that new
• 19:34
  habit by doing it and it, it feels messy and it feels
• 19:38
  uncomfortable, but then you create that new habit and it,
• 19:42
  you know, became a part of my everyday where I don't have to
• 19:44
  think about that anymore. Yeah, yeah.
• 19:47
  And it takes time when you make a change like that too.
• 19:50
  Absolutely. And that following up piece is
• 19:52
  so important because people are watching.
• 19:54
  They've heard your words, but now they're watching to see if
• 19:58
  you're actually living by that. And if you don't live by it
• 20:01
  after you've communicated, then they're going to be like, OK,
• 20:04
  well, it wasn't that serious. Yeah, they'll start impeding on
• 20:08
  those boundaries again. And so it's so important.
• 20:11
  I love that you brought up the communication piece.
• 20:14
  So many things when it comes to boundaries, expectations.
• 20:19
  Living by our value system, and we'll get to those things in a
• 20:22
  minute, but they're all tied in if you know how to communicate
• 20:26
  them well, communicate them calmly, confidently.
• 20:30
  I have a plan that I'm not doing this on a whim and this is my
• 20:33
  why behind it. It's going to be really hard for
• 20:36
  people to be mad about you wanting to prioritize your
• 20:39
  family and your relationships and giving you the opportunity
• 20:43
  to show them that you have an effective plan in place to do
• 20:45
  that. Thanks.
• 20:47
  So many times we'll set these things and then we just go into
• 20:52
  it and we don't necessarily effectively communicate or we
• 20:57
  don't get into and what if we don't want to over explain?
• 21:01
  I'm not saying that because women are over explaining
• 21:03
  champions of the world when they're trying to, they feel
• 21:06
  like they got to justify everything.
• 21:08
  I'm just, but giving that simple context behind it, it just
• 21:13
  builds up support and understanding.
• 21:15
  So thank you for that. That was really good and such an
• 21:17
  important component of these being effective and long lasting
• 21:22
  and respected by others. I mean, so all those pieces
• 21:26
  matter so much with this, all right, taking care of our
• 21:29
  emotional health, mental health, physical health, spiritual
• 21:33
  health, sexual health, all of those health pieces.
• 21:39
  When you're going 80 to 90 hours a week in the office, or I mean,
• 21:43
  whatever, 60 plus, if you're doing anything honestly over 50,
• 21:47
  I'm going to ask you to step back and take a look and see if
• 21:49
  that's really necessary. Because I can tell you right now
• 21:52
  it's not good for your health. But that's but you know, these
• 21:57
  when you're doing that, it takes a toll at all those spaces and
• 22:01
  places of your health. You talked about having to take
• 22:03
  time to settle your mind, like you kind of you set these
• 22:08
  initial things in place, but then you have to move into
• 22:11
  another season of, OK, now I've got to just move into the space
• 22:15
  of settling my mind. So talk to me about this
• 22:18
  emotional, mental, physical, spiritual health connection for
• 22:22
  you. Yeah, yeah.
• 22:24
  And and that's The thing is they're all connected.
• 22:26
  Yeah. You know, when we take better
• 22:28
  care of our physical health, we're mentally in a better
• 22:30
  place. When we take care of our mental
• 22:32
  health, we're in a, you know, it helps our body.
• 22:35
  And so they are connected and that.
• 22:38
  And back to your original, what kind of pushback I got with the
• 22:42
  boundaries was that yeah, people are like, OK, great, great.
• 22:46
  And then, OK, can you work on the weekend, you know, like the
• 22:49
  next work that would come out? And so that's the following
• 22:52
  through sticking to a piece to like, hey, we talked about this,
• 22:57
  I will look at it this weekend. And why I bring that up again is
• 23:00
  because it, it is connected and the looser your boundaries are,
• 23:05
  the more stressed we tend to be mentally, physically, and, and
• 23:13
  so understanding that there's that connection and that like
• 23:18
  you said earlier, our minds and bodies need space to recharge.
• 23:22
  We were not meant to be on 24/7. And where you said, hey, if
• 23:26
  you're over working 50 hours, it's not great for you to get.
• 23:29
  There's tons of research that supports that.
• 23:32
  Even when you work more than 40 hours, your productivity goes
• 23:35
  down. It affects you because we need
• 23:38
  space to recharge. We need space to think clearly.
• 23:42
  We need space to catch our breath when we're feeling
• 23:45
  overwhelmed, which is absolutely normal.
• 23:48
  If you feel that way. I still feel overwhelmed and,
• 23:52
  and that's a big shift that I've made is when I used to get
• 23:55
  overwhelmed. For me, that used to be a cure
• 23:57
  of push harder. I got to work harder.
• 23:59
  I, I can't take a break until I get it all done.
• 24:03
  Where now I completely switched it to, OK, if I I'm feeling
• 24:07
  overwhelmed, all right, I'm feeling overwhelmed.
• 24:10
  OK, what do I really need right now?
• 24:13
  And and that's where when we start to honor that go, OK, I
• 24:18
  need a breath, I need to take a walk.
• 24:19
  I need to step away for a few minutes from this.
• 24:22
  I need to talk to someone. I need to focus on one thing
• 24:24
  instead of the 10 things I got on the girl.
• 24:29
  And that that helps you to start to take care of your mental
• 24:34
  well-being. But really overall, and like I
• 24:37
  said, you, you, you take care of 1, you see the gains in another.
• 24:41
  And so me originally setting those boundaries and stop
• 24:44
  overworking, that helped for sure.
• 24:47
  And then you like you said that next season and then you're
• 24:49
  like, OK, what, what am I going to work on next?
• 24:52
  Learning to calm my mind. That made a huge difference in
• 24:57
  being able to stay more. You know, it was easier to
• 25:02
  because that's one thing too that people don't realize is we
• 25:06
  spend so much time and mental energy on worry, feeling
• 25:11
  overwhelmed, feeling guilty. So when you learn to calm your
• 25:15
  mind, not only can you feel better, is that we actually free
• 25:19
  up a lot of time and mental energy that gets expended in
• 25:24
  that. And and that was a big learning
• 25:26
  for me. So yeah.
• 25:28
  So to your question, it's all connected.
• 25:30
  Anything we can do to help ourselves, you know, fill our
• 25:34
  gas tank, help us to feel better, honor what we need.
• 25:38
  We're going to think better. We're going to show up in a
• 25:40
  better way for people. Is it perfect?
• 25:42
  No, like we all have not great comments or not great days.
• 25:47
  It's about being able to go, OK, what do I really need right now?
• 25:50
  And starting to make that part of your everyday rather than
• 25:56
  waiting until you're so burned out that you actually do
• 25:59
  something that helps. Or what other people also do is
• 26:02
  they do these things that help their self-care and their mind.
• 26:05
  But then when life gets really busy or hard, they drop those
• 26:09
  very things when that's what can help you go through and navigate
• 26:14
  that stressful situation better. So and I share that that was
• 26:17
  very hard one wisdom. It took me a long time to learn
• 26:23
  that lesson, but the more you can, you know, just accept that
• 26:28
  and and make it part of your day-to-day.
• 26:30
  It does get a lot easier too how you show up in a day but also
• 26:34
  navigate the tougher times too. Yeah, I'm so glad you brought
• 26:38
  that up. I that's I, I, I used, I have
• 26:41
  struggled. And I even have an example from
• 26:43
  this morning where I I actually made the right choice.
• 26:45
  But you get in your head. If I get all these things off my
• 26:49
  checklist, I'll be less stressed and I won't be worried and that,
• 26:52
  but I can't calm. I can't be settled.
• 26:55
  I can't feel calm until I do all these things instead of just
• 27:01
  getting up in the moment, walking around the block, it's,
• 27:06
  you know, going to get the mail, grabbing some, you know,
• 27:10
  something from the break room of what?
• 27:13
  Getting some water, doing a little breathing and, you know,
• 27:17
  and then like, oh, OK, I've called my system.
• 27:21
  Those things are still there. Nobody's on fire.
• 27:24
  And now I've got the the clear mind I need to actually do that.
• 27:29
  So but it takes time. Like this morning I was going
• 27:32
  through trying to get emails answered and respond to guest
• 27:36
  reach outs and all these things. And I was Doo Doo, Doo Doo.
• 27:39
  And I was all of a sudden noticed.
• 27:40
  I'm like, I have been clenching my jaw as I've been doing this.
• 27:44
  OK, well, I've only got a few more.
• 27:47
  No, I'm going to get up and this is our and I work from home.
• 27:51
  I'm going to get up, I'm going to go unload the dishwasher.
• 27:54
  I'm going to get some more water.
• 27:56
  I'm going to make myself some ginger tea to settle my stomach.
• 28:00
  And I, you know, I got up and I did all those things, came back
• 28:04
  20-30 minutes later, refreshed, resettled, answered the rest of
• 28:10
  those emails and then came on and started and got ready to
• 28:13
  start preparing for our conversation.
• 28:15
  I was like, oh, that actually works.
• 28:19
  And I was more responsive in a more thoughtful way.
• 28:22
  And I wasn't just trying to get them done so I could feel
• 28:24
  better. But I think that's what we do to
• 28:27
  ourselves. So I'm so glad you shared that,
• 28:29
  that example. And it takes time.
• 28:33
  You got to be patient with ourselves.
• 28:36
  And just because it feels uncomfortable doesn't mean it's
• 28:39
  wrong. And I think sometimes we will.
• 28:42
  Oh, I'm feeling guilty. Oh, I don't know.
• 28:44
  I'm feeling unsure. I'm feeling uneasy.
• 28:47
  Of course you are. Your system's not used to you
• 28:49
  operating this way. And so it's going to take some
• 28:53
  time for it to learn this new, healthier way.
• 28:56
  And over time it's going to realize, oh, wait a minute, this
• 28:58
  is this is working. This is how we operate the other
• 29:01
  thing too. And I can so relate to the whole
• 29:04
  thoughts and and calming the mind piece we treat so our
• 29:09
  thoughts as automatic truth rather than sifting through and
• 29:14
  actually like, is that actually true?
• 29:16
  Or is that a narrative that I've been living by that I need to
• 29:20
  unpack and put away and, and not allowed to drive me or get to me
• 29:25
  anymore? So also taking that time as
• 29:27
  you're calming and settling, addressing those narratives that
• 29:31
  are running through your head that need to be readdressed and
• 29:34
  reanalyzed and not automatically assigning truth.
• 29:37
  Oh, I'm feeling guilty. That means, I mean, I'm doing
• 29:39
  something wrong. Oh, I'm feeling stressed.
• 29:41
  That means this plan isn't working.
• 29:43
  You know, those kinds of things too.
• 29:45
  So thank you for bringing attention to all of that.
• 29:48
  I think it's so important. And again, to remember, we have
• 29:51
  to like get ourselves, it is counterintuitive in that if it's
• 29:55
  part of the problem in the in the culture we're in this go,
• 29:57
  go, go, go, go. It's like, how is this working
• 30:00
  for people? I mean, is it, I mean, there are
• 30:03
  studies out right now and there are countries that are starting
• 30:06
  to utilize the fact that working 32 hours a week is healthier and
• 30:11
  more beneficial and more balanced.
• 30:13
  And actually people are more successful because they feel
• 30:16
  rested, they feel clear minded. We've gotten this idea that
• 30:21
  anything less than a 40 hour work week is unacceptable or not
• 30:25
  working hard, and it's working hard doesn't mean you're working
• 30:31
  well. And you said something like that
• 30:33
  earlier. Those things aren't necessarily
• 30:35
  the same. So having that, you talk a lot
• 30:38
  about balance. Having that balance, filling
• 30:41
  your life with a variety of things that nourish you and fill
• 30:44
  you up actually are what lead to being the best you and all the
• 30:49
  spaces you're in. Yeah, absolutely.
• 30:53
  And it's hard to do that when you are super overloaded and you
• 30:57
  have too much on your plate. So when we talk about stepping
• 31:00
  out of the overwhelm in the moments, also understanding that
• 31:04
  if you have way too much on the go, it's very natural you're
• 31:07
  going to feel overwhelmed. There's nothing wrong with you.
• 31:11
  I had, I did a workshop with and a big take away someone took
• 31:14
  away that they thought was just blew their mind.
• 31:18
  They're like, it's not that bad at time management.
• 31:20
  I have too much time to go in the 1st place and that's why I'm
• 31:22
  having a hard time with it. To just give yourself
• 31:25
  permission. I think especially these women,
• 31:27
  we can do this to say like, Oh, no, I, I'm not going to do all
• 31:31
  of this. I'm not going to try to do that.
• 31:33
  What are the things that matter more?
• 31:35
  And when I talk about saying no, it's saying no so that you can
• 31:39
  say yes to those things that matter more.
• 31:41
  And so because when we have too much on our plate, yeah, it's
• 31:44
  very natural to feel overwhelmed.
• 31:46
  And when we're in that place, and that's the thing, when we're
• 31:49
  run down, overwhelmed, feeling exhausted, it's way easier to
• 31:53
  slip into the more worry and more guilt and feeling more
• 31:58
  overwhelmed. And so just understanding that
• 32:01
  to go, OK, I'm, I'm going to do these things that help me
• 32:05
  because I think too, sometimes if we get in that downward
• 32:08
  spiral with our thoughts, we can think something's wrong with me.
• 32:11
  It's like nothing's wrong. What do you really need?
• 32:15
  What can help right now? Even, you know, what do you need
• 32:18
  to take off your plate or care about less?
• 32:20
  Yeah, that can make a a big difference.
• 32:23
  And then to your 30 hour work week, I'll just also add there's
• 32:26
  a lot of good research with that.
• 32:28
  Cause again, when we feel better, we perform better and
• 32:30
  all that. People also make better
• 32:32
  decisions with how they use their time.
• 32:35
  Absolutely, Absolutely. And all these day meetings that
• 32:39
  we're in that aren't necessary. Yeah.
• 32:43
  And I love a good meeting and there's a lot that are not good
• 32:47
  or bad or focused. Yeah.
• 32:50
  Yeah, 100%. I mean, it's like being using
• 32:53
  you having the meeting, but using the time well in there
• 32:56
  and, and really determining whether meetings are necessary.
• 33:01
  I mean, I hear this from people all the time.
• 33:03
  I'm like, I don't have time to do my own work because I'm in
• 33:05
  meetings all day. OK.
• 33:07
  How many of those meetings do we really have to have or be in?
• 33:10
  Are those some of those meetings you can let somebody else on
• 33:13
  your team handle? You need to say yes to that
• 33:15
  meeting. And, and we're going to come
• 33:18
  back to that in a minute because I've got thoughts about that
• 33:21
  around the values and why conversation.
• 33:24
  But before that, this has really become a space where you have
• 33:29
  learned to really support yourself and other women in
• 33:33
  showing up unapologetically with this belief system.
• 33:38
  Knowing this works. Talk to me about, you talked
• 33:42
  about it a little bit earlier, but you got to a point where you
• 33:45
  realize, wait a minute, not only is this working for me, but I
• 33:49
  can help other women with this too.
• 33:51
  And to me, that is very much women helping women show up
• 33:55
  unapologetically. So talk to me about that
• 33:58
  transition where you realize, hold on, I'm going to leave this
• 34:01
  space in corporate America and go over here and do this because
• 34:05
  not only is this good for me, this is good for.
• 34:07
  Women. Yeah, well, a funny story with
• 34:11
  that. When I left my corporate career,
• 34:14
  I did not know what I was going to do.
• 34:18
  I just had this, my intuition and said there's something
• 34:21
  different. I didn't know what it would be.
• 34:23
  I I didn't know I had an aspiration to start my own
• 34:25
  business and I just knew it wasn't what I was doing.
• 34:30
  And so then when I left and I was really again, fascinated by
• 34:35
  this question of how do we be our best even with all the
• 34:38
  demands and expectations and, and trained with that and
• 34:41
  started coaching and working with people.
• 34:42
  And that's where it was, you know, and I helped people with a
• 34:45
  lot of different things, communication, leadership,
• 34:49
  resilience. There was this common thread
• 34:53
  through all of it and over the years been OK.
• 34:58
  No, I really want to help women to be more balanced in their
• 35:03
  life. And when I see balance, it's
• 35:04
  whatever that looks like for you, You know, having more
• 35:08
  harmony, having more time and energy for what really matters
• 35:11
  to you. To be able to excel in your work
• 35:14
  and be present with your family and take care of yourself too.
• 35:17
  Like, as I started working with different people, I was just so
• 35:21
  drawn to that. And you could see a lot of
• 35:23
  people struggling like what I struggled with 10 years ago, you
• 35:30
  still see it today even more so. And so this is there.
• 35:33
  And, and so just realizing like, hey, I can really help people
• 35:37
  with this and, and people want to do it.
• 35:40
  I think a lot of times people know they want something
• 35:43
  different or better for themselves or don't want to feel
• 35:45
  like crappy shape. Not sure how to.
• 35:49
  Yeah, and they're just overwhelmed by the thought of
• 35:52
  like, I know I need this, but I don't even know where to start,
• 35:55
  where to. Start or even.
• 35:57
  You know, even that what will people think And that's a big
• 36:02
  part is like feeling more confident your choices 'cause
• 36:05
  there will always be more to do. There will always be opinions,
• 36:07
  there will always be, you know, like you can keep yourself busy
• 36:11
  no problem. And so instead of letting all
• 36:13
  these, you know, what does other people think or what are all the
• 36:16
  things I could do? Coming back to what are your
• 36:18
  values? How do you want to live your
• 36:21
  life? What's really important to you
• 36:24
  and those priorities and and getting in tune with that to
• 36:28
  then help guide your choices and and I still today, like you said
• 36:33
  at the start walking your talk, I'm certain I would be a burned
• 36:36
  out business owner and I would say yes to too many things.
• 36:40
  If I did not bring that intention to go, OK, I could do
• 36:45
  this, but this doesn't really align with how I want my life to
• 36:51
  look like with my family or, or what are my priorities in my
• 36:54
  work. And so that's for anyone
• 36:57
  listening is there will always be more you can do always,
• 37:01
  always. And so getting more in tune
• 37:04
  again with your own values, your own boundaries, priorities, how
• 37:09
  you want to live your life and let those decisions start to
• 37:12
  come from that place, You stay more aligned with what you
• 37:17
  really want and the life you want to live.
• 37:19
  And it also gets easier to turn down some of the volume on the
• 37:23
  guilt and the worry because you're making a choice that is
• 37:29
  more right for you and aligned for you.
• 37:31
  And that was a big thing when I started this.
• 37:34
  And even staying with it today is, is when I left at 5.
• 37:38
  I wasn't, I got to hit my 5:00 PM boundary.
• 37:41
  It was why am I doing this? I want to be present with my
• 37:45
  family. I don't want to feel like crap
• 37:47
  each day. And and that and and everybody
• 37:51
  needs to connect to their own reason why because that's that
• 37:57
  needs to be bigger than staying with the way things are.
• 38:00
  Yeah. And absolutely, yeah.
• 38:03
  Where you said it's uncomfortable, it's also
• 38:05
  uncomfortable how you're operating now.
• 38:07
  And so, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not sustainable.
• 38:13
  And, and, and so many times people go farther than you do
• 38:18
  and they get you an actual health crisis because it just
• 38:22
  really isn't sustainable. They can't do it that way
• 38:24
  anymore. So I mean, it's so important to
• 38:27
  remember that you said a couple of really important things and
• 38:30
  this is going to go really nicely into the importance of
• 38:33
  setting and coming back to your why and your values.
• 38:36
  Look at your calendar. What on your calendar is not in
• 38:41
  alignment with those values, with that why, whether it's your
• 38:45
  wife or your work, your wife or your family, your wife or
• 38:49
  yourself, care and your health. So many times we can look at our
• 38:54
  calendars and real quickly and be like, that's not an
• 38:56
  alignment. Does it either need to go away
• 38:59
  or is there someone else on my that can handle that?
• 39:02
  And that helping you, you know, be using that as a guide, as a
• 39:07
  compass. That's the thing that's going to
• 39:08
  keep you committed to doing this.
• 39:11
  And you said that earlier. It's like my wise because of the
• 39:15
  value I have for my time with my family when I leave at 5:00, not
• 39:19
  simply because I said, oh, I'm not going to work 40 hours a
• 39:22
  week. I'm only going to work 40 hours
• 39:23
  a week now only. But, but I, you know, you had a
• 39:29
  really solid value behind that. And that really helps you and
• 39:34
  guide you when you're setting those boundaries when you're
• 39:37
  saying no to people. You know, I, I talked about this
• 39:41
  a lot. We have a guest from season 4,
• 39:43
  Valerie Rivera, who says remember that when you say yes
• 39:47
  to something, you're saying no to something else.
• 39:50
  Make sure you're OK with that thing you're saying no to and
• 39:53
  where it hits on your value system.
• 39:55
  So you use this values and why piece a lot with yourself and in
• 40:02
  your work and and have you. Does that really help women when
• 40:06
  or people when you start using that approach?
• 40:11
  Yeah, absolutely it does. It's like it's like a compass.
• 40:15
  It, it helps you guide what your choices.
• 40:18
  And interesting, a very interesting thing that I learned
• 40:21
  when I started studying values is that where we experience the
• 40:25
  most conflict is between two of our important values.
• 40:31
  So, so that was because one of my values was family.
• 40:34
  I also had a value, I call it something different today, but
• 40:38
  back then achievement like I, I was ambitious, I was driven and
• 40:41
  those values were in conflict and, and we experienced more
• 40:47
  stress with that. So what helps with that is 1.
• 40:50
  How, how can you also bounce that out?
• 40:52
  How can I honor this value? And how can I honor that value?
• 40:56
  But be clear on what's most important overall.
• 41:00
  So when you have that tougher decision, when you're clear on
• 41:04
  what's the number one, then it's easier to go, OK, both of these
• 41:09
  are important to me. This is more important to me.
• 41:12
  And that helps you guide your choices.
• 41:14
  And that's, and that's been huge for me, huge for a lot of women
• 41:20
  I work with is that just helps give you instead of feeling so
• 41:25
  torn between two things you can look at and go, these are both
• 41:27
  important to me. This is more important though.
• 41:30
  And so I'm going to make a choice aligned with that.
• 41:33
  And, and that guides every day. And that's even checking in each
• 41:37
  day with yourself. Like am, are my actions aligned
• 41:40
  with my values? If they're not, don't be hard on
• 41:42
  yourself. I think that's one huge thing is
• 41:45
  being kinder to ourselves and just being able to look at that
• 41:48
  without judging and just go, OK, what's a different choice I
• 41:52
  could make that is a better reflection of my values and who
• 41:55
  I want to be? And, and that frees up a lot of
• 41:59
  stress and inner conflict. And and it makes, it doesn't
• 42:06
  always feel easy, but it makes it easier to figure out how you
• 42:10
  move forward in a way that is right for you.
• 42:14
  Yeah, yeah. It, it just gives you that
• 42:17
  again, it gives you that, that guidance, that compass.
• 42:21
  Talk to me about did, did the meaning of achievement.
• 42:25
  Has that changed for you since you've made these changes?
• 42:29
  Because I think sometimes we see achievement as I work this many
• 42:33
  hours and do this many things and I'm on this many boards and
• 42:37
  instead of looking at achievement of like I'm using my
• 42:40
  time really well, but my life is more balanced, my life is more
• 42:45
  full and that's an overall achievement.
• 42:49
  Has that shifted for you at? All yeah, it's it's shifted what
• 42:56
  it used to mean to me was succeeding in my career.
• 43:00
  Like when I thought of achievement, that's what it was.
• 43:04
  And our values can shift over time.
• 43:06
  I I think it's we're getting I think of it as we're getting
• 43:09
  closer to the heart of what we really care about.
• 43:12
  Like we learn more of ourselves. We learn what's important to us.
• 43:15
  And so for me, what's shifted over that it's less about
• 43:21
  accomplishing things in my career.
• 43:23
  And for me, it's more about excellence is a value of mine is
• 43:28
  that. And what I mean by that is that
• 43:31
  how do I show up on a podcast with you or with a coaching
• 43:35
  client or even writing some piece?
• 43:38
  How can I bring excellence to that?
• 43:42
  Not to be perfect, but that I really care.
• 43:46
  Like one thing when I started my business, so many people said
• 43:50
  give AAB minus good enough effort B -.
• 43:55
  I don't do B minus, you know, I might, I might do something and
• 43:59
  it turns out to be minus. I have lots of that way, but I
• 44:02
  don't set out for that. And so that was learning like
• 44:06
  this is important to me. I value this.
• 44:09
  And so how do I bring excellence?
• 44:11
  Now, something I had to learn is if I bring excellence to every
• 44:16
  single thing, then I have, you know, not enough time and energy
• 44:22
  for other things. So I had to learn how do I
• 44:25
  prioritize what is more important that gets that level
• 44:30
  of excellence? And then what are the other
• 44:31
  things that I really do need to learn to be OK with?
• 44:35
  This is good enough, and that's OK.
• 44:37
  Yeah. So absolutely, that Grace piece,
• 44:40
  which really, I mean, it goes nicely into living out of your
• 44:43
  own expectations versus others. You've talked a lot about the
• 44:46
  fact that many women struggle with this, the guilt, worrying
• 44:50
  about what other people are going to think about our
• 44:52
  decisions or how we're proceeding, how we're showing
• 44:54
  up, especially when we make a big shift.
• 44:57
  How have you been able to move into more of a comfortable space
• 45:02
  of really truly living out of those own expectations,
• 45:05
  communicating those and and being able to live less with or
• 45:11
  have guilt and those kinds of things creep up less?
• 45:16
  Yeah. And and that is the more you get
• 45:20
  in tune with your values, how you want to live your life,
• 45:26
  what's not the 20 things that are important, like what are the
• 45:30
  top things are important. The more you get in tune and
• 45:34
  clear on that, it gets easier to guide those choices.
• 45:36
  And so I still, well, I am, I am now really great at boundaries.
• 45:42
  I'm good at saying no, I'm good at prioritizing.
• 45:45
  I still have the worry and the guilt and that I should do this
• 45:50
  that still pops up each day. And so I don't know, maybe some
• 45:55
  people can turn that off. I have not been able to turn it
• 45:58
  off. So I think it is like, how do I
• 46:00
  turn the volume down on it? How do I make sure that I'm not
• 46:04
  letting it steer me off course with what's important and that
• 46:11
  comes with there's even a little bit of this inner like being
• 46:15
  willing to put your line in the sand for this is what's
• 46:18
  important to me. This is how I want to show up in
• 46:20
  my life. And, and then making those daily
• 46:24
  choices that align with it. And if you and, and when we're
• 46:28
  not in tune with that, it's very easy to get caught up in the
• 46:31
  busyness or comparing to others. And, and I still have that come
• 46:35
  up, but I can look at it and go, no, but that's not important to
• 46:39
  me. Like one thing is as I do more
• 46:42
  public speaking and I'll look and I'll see these other
• 46:45
  speakers and they're travelling in Canada and the US and I go,
• 46:49
  Oh, I'm not doing that. And then I have to remind
• 46:51
  myself, well, I don't want to do that.
• 46:54
  That's not my, I don't want to travel.
• 46:56
  And, and I don't, I don't want to travel over.
• 46:58
  I want to do more local. I do a lot of virtual and I'm OK
• 47:01
  with that. That fits with my life and my
• 47:03
  season of life. And for me, that was a choice to
• 47:05
  go. I'm not less than there's
• 47:09
  nothing wrong that they do it. It it's what's your own values.
• 47:13
  And and then it gets easier to sew go, no, I'm not going to do
• 47:16
  that. And I chose not to do that
• 47:18
  because you're choosing something else for you.
• 47:21
  And yeah. Yeah, that was, yeah, such a
• 47:25
  great way to explain that. And and seeing that as a choice,
• 47:29
  it's a choice I made based on a value and but also checking in
• 47:33
  with yourself every once in a while.
• 47:35
  These frameworks are here to help us keep online.
• 47:37
  We're going to get off kilter at times.
• 47:39
  New things are going to cut opportunities are going to say,
• 47:42
  and you're going to look back like, why did I say yes to that?
• 47:45
  OK, I said yes to that. I got to honor that now.
• 47:48
  But also, you know, learning the lessons from when you do that
• 47:51
  and trusting your like inner, knowing that inner like you can
• 47:55
  feel when you're in and out of alignment.
• 47:57
  I really believe that. And like, so if you start
• 48:00
  feeling a little angsty, take a look at have I, have I allowed
• 48:04
  some things to creep in that aren't honoring my values or
• 48:07
  have my values shifted a little bit?
• 48:09
  Values can shift in different seasons.
• 48:11
  Our kids grow up, they move out, we get different jobs.
• 48:15
  We moved to different states or countries or places or homes or,
• 48:19
  you know, whatever the case may be.
• 48:22
  We change jobs, we get all these different things.
• 48:25
  And so within that can come a values shift.
• 48:28
  So, you know, taking a look at, OK, are those things still in
• 48:32
  alignment? Let me look at my calendar
• 48:33
  again. Let me sit down with myself and
• 48:35
  spend some time with myself and do an assessment.
• 48:39
  And that's good for us to do that all the time so we can stay
• 48:42
  current with that and and say true feeling.
• 48:46
  It's that. And also you talked about this
• 48:49
  earlier. We all have to figure out what
• 48:51
  it is that works for us in taking care of ourselves.
• 48:55
  And it's not going to look the same for everybody and that's
• 48:58
  OK. I think we get we get very
• 49:00
  married to this idea of like if I do the yoga and I do the
• 49:03
  meditation, I go for the walk and I do the weights.
• 49:07
  Those things in combination may work in some ways in some
• 49:10
  seasons. But look at, you know what you
• 49:13
  know, how does that fit into your value system?
• 49:15
  How does that fit into your schedule and what you've decided
• 49:18
  is important right now. Do you need to shift batters?
• 49:21
  You know, sometimes it might look like I'm going to listen to
• 49:25
  my favorite music in the car after I've dropped off the kids
• 49:28
  and I'm jamming my way all the way to the gym or my workspace
• 49:32
  or back home or whatever it is. I mean finding what it is that
• 49:37
  works for you and also understanding that that may
• 49:40
  shift over time and being OK with that and and and throwing
• 49:43
  away this idea that it has to work a certain way.
• 49:47
  Yeah, and and prioritizing. Yeah, not letting it be the one
• 49:51
  that gets kicked to the curb. There's a lot of things we could
• 49:55
  do for ourselves that are good. Like he's there's just so many
• 50:01
  things like one example that a lot a lot of women they have.
• 50:06
  It comes up for the people meal planning.
• 50:07
  I want to be better in meal planning along with exercise in
• 50:11
  my career and everything I'm meal planning.
• 50:13
  I personally do not care about meal planning.
• 50:17
  I, I mean, I kind of, but I'm like, what is the simplest way
• 50:21
  that we can get supper on the table?
• 50:23
  That does not hurt my mind and are children will eat and I'm OK
• 50:27
  with that. But it's not that I don't care
• 50:30
  about good food and good, but I'm, I've chosen this is not
• 50:33
  where I'm going to put my time or my energy.
• 50:36
  I'm like, it is a win if there's food on the table, even though
• 50:40
  it's the same thing. We've eaten every week for the
• 50:42
  last. And so I just see that because I
• 50:46
  think a lot of time, especially women, we can get like, I got to
• 50:49
  do all these things and I really want to invite like, it's not
• 50:54
  about doing it all. It's like, what are the top, you
• 50:56
  know, 2-3 things that are important right now that you do
• 51:02
  want to put your energy and attention to and then be OK to
• 51:06
  let go of some of those other ones or, you know, lower your
• 51:10
  expectations on it. And I think that's really for me
• 51:13
  anyways, I found it so freeing to be like, OK, I'm not going to
• 51:16
  be great in all these different areas, but am I showing up in
• 51:21
  the way that does matter? So for me, it's like with my
• 51:24
  husband and kids with, you know, being really present with
• 51:29
  people. Like that's really important to
• 51:31
  me when I'm with them. And you know, movement each day,
• 51:36
  not even exercise, like movement.
• 51:38
  But when you're clear on your top ones, then it's like focus
• 51:42
  on those and be OK to, if you can do more than that, amazing.
• 51:46
  But if you feel you don't have the capacity, just be OK to let
• 51:49
  that go and and that's OK. And you're still a good mom, and
• 51:51
  you're still a good with her. It's really about prioritizing
• 51:57
  what are the more important things to get your time and
• 51:59
  attention. Yeah, yeah, I love that so much.
• 52:03
  And I, I, I, I would add to that, you know, going back to
• 52:06
  I'm with you on the meal planning.
• 52:08
  Same thing, same get, you know, if you've got this and you come
• 52:13
  in and you've got these list of these things, what's your why
• 52:16
  behind it? Make sure your why behind it is
• 52:19
  well, because that's what so and so expects or that's what my mom
• 52:23
  told me I should do or that's what I think my kids want or OK,
• 52:27
  but what's your why and what is it?
• 52:30
  And how important is that to you and what is your mood like when
• 52:34
  you're doing it? I mean, I know people that love
• 52:37
  a good Sunday afternoon, cook all the meals, put them in the
• 52:41
  freezer, pull them out during the week thing.
• 52:43
  I would rather walk across hot coals than spend my Sunday
• 52:49
  afternoon meal prepping all afternoon.
• 52:52
  That's not how I want to spend my Sunday afternoon.
• 52:54
  But for some people it works. Not really frees them up.
• 52:57
  So and we're using, you know, get into that.
• 53:01
  Why behind it? Does that really align with what
• 53:03
  you value and what you care about and make sure it's
• 53:06
  aligning with your expectation and values and boundaries and
• 53:10
  not what you think other people want.
• 53:12
  Or maybe they do and you need to communicate with them.
• 53:14
  Like we need to come up with a, a plan because that's not a
• 53:18
  value for my time. So is there a way you can help
• 53:20
  me or be OK with this other thing?
• 53:23
  I mean, that's goes back to that good communication you talked
• 53:25
  about earlier and yeah, and clearly communicating and
• 53:29
  clearly working through and making sure you're everybody's
• 53:33
  being honored and and but you can't just sometimes, but don't
• 53:38
  just keep doing something because you think it's expected,
• 53:41
  but it but it doesn't align with you but and not have any
• 53:44
  communication about it either. Yeah, absolutely.
• 53:49
  Yeah, Yeah. So good.
• 53:51
  OK, accepting the layered aspects of ourselves.
• 53:54
  And this goes back to like, we're not trying to be perfect.
• 53:57
  We're not, you know, decide those areas that excellence
• 54:01
  really matters and what are those areas that you can release
• 54:05
  and not put that kind of, you know, pressure on yourself all
• 54:10
  the time. And but that can be difficult as
• 54:13
  we go through different seasons of our life, we make different
• 54:16
  decisions. We are impacted and respond in
• 54:20
  ways sometimes we don't love, sometimes we do.
• 54:23
  Circumstances happen, sometimes we love them, sometimes we
• 54:26
  don't. So getting OK with all of our
• 54:28
  layers, all of our pieces that make us up and, and, and getting
• 54:32
  at a real peaceful place with that.
• 54:34
  Talk to me about your layers journey with yourself and how
• 54:37
  that informs how you're able to help others with that.
• 54:43
  So for one thing, I'll say as a mantra for me, my layer that
• 54:48
  you're into a mantra these days is be present, not perfect.
• 54:51
  That is that that really guides me.
• 54:55
  And and yeah, I think we we have these different layers and we
• 55:00
  and we learn and we go through different seasons of life.
• 55:03
  For me, a big one has been over the last three years or so, is
• 55:10
  my mom passed away three years ago very suddenly.
• 55:13
  She was 64. It was, it was one of those
• 55:17
  times where where I feel like I watched my talk and that I was
• 55:25
  juggling way more taking care of her, traveling to a different
• 55:31
  city each day to be there, still doing some work, But I, I
• 55:35
  different the old me would have burned myself out and run myself
• 55:38
  down and, and I definitely was on the auto balance side, but I
• 55:42
  was OK. I have 3 hours this morning.
• 55:45
  What's most important for my work?
• 55:47
  What do I need to do to make it count?
• 55:49
  And then the afternoon I go be with her.
• 55:51
  And so it was I, I talk about how our, our energies like gas
• 55:56
  tank and a lot of times we operate on empty.
• 55:59
  For me, what I encourage is like, you might know it always
• 56:02
  be on your full tank, but never get below your half.
• 56:06
  Like what are those warning signals at your half?
• 56:08
  And so for me, the old me would have operated on empty through
• 56:12
  that and then I wouldn't have been present with people then I
• 56:14
  wouldn't I would have been more short patients with people as in
• 56:19
  patients is often a queue when we're out of bounds.
• 56:22
  And so I never got below my half.
• 56:23
  I still did those self-care. I did those little things each
• 56:26
  day because I knew it was going to help me go through that
• 56:29
  harder time. But for me, that was a time that
• 56:33
  it was tough, but what really came out of it or kind of my
• 56:36
  next labor was layer was really about how do I grant myself more
• 56:44
  grace. And and because I think a lot of
• 56:51
  times before that, I still did a lot of really good things.
• 56:55
  What we talked about today, like stepping out of overwhelm and
• 56:58
  turning on the word and get out boundaries and saying do a lot
• 57:00
  of that. I still carried a lot of this
• 57:04
  pressure that I wasn't, it's this sneaky kind of hard on
• 57:09
  myself. I never, I never had words that
• 57:11
  called me down. I was never that person that was
• 57:14
  like you suck. That never came through my head.
• 57:17
  But I had this sneaky kind of hard on myself where I had these
• 57:20
  high expectations and pressure. And then if I wasn't living up
• 57:24
  to it, I would be harder on myself.
• 57:26
  So kind of my next layer of growth since then has been how
• 57:31
  do I, you know, let go of some of that and appreciate more what
• 57:37
  I am doing and how I am showing up in that, you know, be even
• 57:42
  kinder to myself and grant grace when need.
• 57:46
  And to do that even came with being OK to like have some more
• 57:51
  alone time or meet. I, I think I learned how do I
• 57:53
  meet my needs even more than I did before and let go of some of
• 57:59
  more of those shoulds. So I'm, I'm not sure if that
• 58:02
  answers your question, but that I think we go, we kind of use
• 58:05
  our, it's not about being perfect and doing it all at
• 58:09
  once. It's like we continue to evolve
• 58:11
  and we grow. And that's really been a big
• 58:14
  thing. How do I meet my needs more?
• 58:15
  How do I let go of some more of that pressure and grant myself
• 58:18
  some more grace? And and that's been very
• 58:23
  interesting. Do it and and I feel like I'm in
• 58:25
  a really good place now. I think for a while with that, I
• 58:28
  had to remind myself of that every day And and that's OK.
• 58:34
  And I think one thing anytime trying to people are trying to
• 58:37
  commit, make change. Sorry, they go, oh, I'm trying
• 58:42
  to worry less about what people think.
• 58:44
  And then you keep worrying and you go, oh, I suck at this about
• 58:46
  I can't do this. It's like, no, no.
• 58:49
  Yeah. That's a good thing and then
• 58:51
  that's an opportunity to go well, no well, how do I want to
• 58:55
  show up? How do I want to think about
• 58:57
  this? How do I want to be kinder to
• 58:59
  myself? And, and that's how you build
• 59:01
  that, you know, inner layer guidance, like that's how you
• 59:08
  internalize what you're trying to do.
• 59:10
  And so I had to remind myself each day and I, I feel like it's
• 59:14
  finally more internalized now. So that's, I think to your
• 59:18
  question of moving through that. It's like I can look at
• 59:21
  different seasons of my life or different stages of my life for
• 59:24
  like, oh, this is what I learned here or I learned boundaries.
• 59:29
  I learned how to, you know, be more present.
• 59:32
  And and for me, this last season has really been how do I meet my
• 59:35
  needs more and be kinder to myself and grant myself more
• 59:38
  grace along the way? That was a great explanation of
• 59:42
  that. I really like that, that take on
• 59:46
  it and that sneaky way of not being so kind to yourself.
• 59:50
  I wholeheartedly relate to that. It's those little and I, I, I
• 59:55
  had somebody bring this up to me yesterday.
• 59:58
  If they're like, you're constantly looking how you can
• 1:00:00
  evolve and grow and be better and heal more.
• 1:00:04
  But how many times do you acknowledge your wins?
• 1:00:07
  How many times do you just say, gosh, I did that really well
• 1:00:10
  today or I showed up really well there.
• 1:00:13
  You're not saying, Oh, I showed up badly.
• 1:00:15
  I should have done more. You're not saying that, but
• 1:00:18
  you're always looking for how OK, that happened.
• 1:00:21
  But what about this? How, how many times did you just
• 1:00:25
  sit down and just acknowledge your wins?
• 1:00:27
  I'm like. And I think that's that sneaky
• 1:00:31
  that you're talking about where we don't just like, oh, yeah, I
• 1:00:35
  did. You know what?
• 1:00:37
  This was a challenging season and I really learned how to show
• 1:00:41
  up well for myself through this. I really learned how to meet
• 1:00:45
  myself where I was and and give me what I needed in the moment.
• 1:00:52
  I learned how to recognize when I got to the half tank.
• 1:00:56
  But yeah, it's and it's like, oh, OK.
• 1:00:59
  So yeah, I think that's something that we're all guilty
• 1:01:03
  of. We talk about a lot of times you
• 1:01:04
  hear about the self talk and some people are like, well, I
• 1:01:07
  don't really, you know, noticeably have any of those
• 1:01:10
  words going through my head. OK.
• 1:01:13
  But are you constantly looking for ways to improve?
• 1:01:17
  Not that that's not important, but don't miss the wins and the
• 1:01:21
  acknowledgements of how you're showing up well and what you've
• 1:01:24
  learned along the way. So I love the way you presented
• 1:01:26
  that. Thank you so much.
• 1:01:27
  That was really good, all right. And I will add with that super
• 1:01:31
  quick is that I was really good for the last.
• 1:01:33
  I never used to be, but I would look at the wins each day for
• 1:01:36
  years. It's like, what are the three
• 1:01:38
  wins? And so that was good.
• 1:01:41
  What is it good? What are the wins?
• 1:01:43
  But there was always, like you said this, I could have done
• 1:01:46
  that better or I could I still have to do this.
• 1:01:48
  And so, so there's the wins in doing it and still like and
• 1:01:55
  being kind to your to yourself along the way too and granting
• 1:01:58
  grace as well. And so it's that bouncing it
• 1:02:01
  out. But yeah, the the wins.
• 1:02:04
  And that if you're somebody who's listening and you and each
• 1:02:07
  day going, I didn't get this done.
• 1:02:08
  I didn't get enough. You want to be looking at your
• 1:02:11
  wins. Like ideally we look at our wins
• 1:02:13
  every day or like the days that I get done and I feel I don't, I
• 1:02:17
  didn't, I didn't really accomplish what I set out to.
• 1:02:21
  I will stop and be like, what were the winds today?
• 1:02:23
  What did I do? How did I show up?
• 1:02:25
  Personal, professional. And and the more you do that for
• 1:02:29
  yourself, you do start to shift your attention.
• 1:02:35
  And then, yeah, there's still that, especially if you're
• 1:02:38
  ambitious and driven. I think we can always like we
• 1:02:41
  keep putting the bar higher and so it's like, and maybe it's
• 1:02:45
  like, OK, maybe it won't hit the bar and just being OK with that.
• 1:02:48
  Like here's what I ended up and here's how I'm showing up and
• 1:02:51
  yeah. Well, and I think too, on those
• 1:02:54
  days that like you look at the list at the end of the day,
• 1:02:56
  you're like, nothing got checked off.
• 1:02:58
  OK, but what happened? Days are unexpected.
• 1:03:00
  Did you get to a point where like, I just didn't have the
• 1:03:03
  energy today, so I decided to take a rest and fill my cup
• 1:03:07
  instead and allow myself that time and space because I knew I
• 1:03:11
  didn't have the capacity for that's a.
• 1:03:13
  Win. That's totally a win.
• 1:03:16
  Absolutely. And I think societally we
• 1:03:19
  haven't been trained to think that way.
• 1:03:22
  So we really have to really be conscious of that too.
• 1:03:26
  And that's something that I'm I'm working on right now.
• 1:03:29
  And, and, but so yeah, I love the way you presented that.
• 1:03:32
  And that's a really like actionable way.
• 1:03:36
  And it doesn't, not every day has to have, you know, these are
• 1:03:40
  the things that went really well and these are the things that I
• 1:03:45
  want to do better. Sometimes just sit with,
• 1:03:48
  especially those days where you didn't get anything on the
• 1:03:50
  checklist. Just sit with what went well
• 1:03:52
  and, and, and allowing yourself the flexibility for the
• 1:03:55
  unexpected to come up and, and, and, and allowing yourself space
• 1:04:00
  to treat that and respond to that in the moment.
• 1:04:02
  Like you talked about earlier, muted ourselves in the moment
• 1:04:05
  where we are with what we need. Yeah, such an important piece of
• 1:04:09
  this. OK, thank you so much.
• 1:04:11
  That was so good. All right, in living out feel,
• 1:04:14
  finding empowerment, embracing layers.
• 1:04:16
  You have really done this on your journey and it has an
• 1:04:20
  impact You just you decided that I am living life way out of
• 1:04:24
  balance. I am not giving the energy to my
• 1:04:26
  relationships that I want to talk to me about the impact that
• 1:04:30
  making these shifts has had on your relationship with yourself,
• 1:04:34
  but your relationship with these people and others have as well
• 1:04:38
  in general as you've done these shifts.
• 1:04:42
  Yeah, I mean, probably the biggest hugest change is, is I I
• 1:04:48
  feel like really present in my life and with people where it
• 1:04:52
  used to be rushing from one thing to the next.
• 1:04:54
  And and, you know, sometimes I I'd be physically present, but I
• 1:04:58
  wasn't mentally present. And so that's really, that's
• 1:05:02
  really a big thing I would say. And, and so, but I mean, I had
• 1:05:06
  good relationships with my husband and kids too, when I
• 1:05:10
  even when I was burning out, but I wasn't showing up in the way I
• 1:05:12
  wanted. I was more impatient, I was more
• 1:05:14
  grumpy. And so I feel like that's a big
• 1:05:17
  shift. I can remain calm, I can remain
• 1:05:20
  patient. Yes, there's still moments where
• 1:05:22
  I don't, but that's been a really huge shift.
• 1:05:25
  And I feel like that's really helped my connection with my
• 1:05:31
  husband and my kids, especially now that my kids are teenagers,
• 1:05:35
  I find I find they're more physically demanding when they
• 1:05:38
  were toddlers and now it's more mentally.
• 1:05:41
  So that's one big thing is I often think about how I'm really
• 1:05:45
  grateful I learned how to do some of this 'cause I think it
• 1:05:49
  would be, it would be a lot more challenging right now to not be
• 1:05:52
  present and not, you know, be able to, like, calm the worries
• 1:05:56
  and stuff. So, yeah.
• 1:05:58
  So that's a big thing. Yeah.
• 1:06:01
  Yeah. And then, and then, you know, I
• 1:06:04
  think just other areas, I mean, even like where my mom got sick
• 1:06:10
  is like being able to be there and show up and, and drop other
• 1:06:15
  things. So I could be there.
• 1:06:17
  And even you and I, when we originally had this booked and
• 1:06:21
  it's kind of ties to what you were just talking about is that
• 1:06:24
  sometimes we can have the best plans for a week and then things
• 1:06:27
  change and unexpected things. And so you and I had it booked
• 1:06:30
  and then just before I got a call that my grandma, who's my
• 1:06:34
  mom's mom. So I've been doing a lot with
• 1:06:35
  her over the last few years because I, I had stepped in for
• 1:06:39
  my mom and that she was not doing well and, and probably
• 1:06:43
  into life. And I sent you a note and I
• 1:06:46
  think we still have the, the, I can do it because I, I had the
• 1:06:49
  time, I wasn't able to leave to go see her for a bit.
• 1:06:52
  And so I told you, Hey, I can still do this if I need to.
• 1:06:56
  If you can reschedule, that would be great.
• 1:06:58
  And, and you were kind and gracious and we rescheduled it
• 1:07:01
  and, and I went to be with her and I cleared my schedule and
• 1:07:04
  she passed away that that night where I think before, not
• 1:07:08
  because I didn't care, but I just would have been so damn
• 1:07:10
  packed. And and not, I mean, like I'll
• 1:07:12
  go on the weekend. Sometimes we don't get that.
• 1:07:15
  So being present for those moments that matter.
• 1:07:18
  But even last week, like I found I took a lot of time off with
• 1:07:22
  grief and needed some more rest and this shit still came up.
• 1:07:25
  I should work, I should do this and and I had to dismiss that
• 1:07:30
  and be OK with what I did in my week.
• 1:07:32
  And I'm going, that's the win. That's the win to go, OK, I gave
• 1:07:38
  myself space when I needed it, even though I had these other
• 1:07:42
  things that I want to do. And, and I think just that makes
• 1:07:46
  such a difference as you can learn that and kind of ride the
• 1:07:50
  waves a bit. I think there's also this
• 1:07:52
  expectation we should be the same each day, each week.
• 1:07:57
  And especially, you know, our energy flexes and our best looks
• 1:08:02
  different, different days. And the more we can just be
• 1:08:05
  kinder to ourselves and grant ourselves grace and honor what
• 1:08:09
  we need. It's like you can, you know,
• 1:08:12
  honor that and then get back to focusing on those other things
• 1:08:16
  that are important too. So, you know, being present was
• 1:08:19
  a big thing and that really helped my connection
• 1:08:21
  relationships. And then I think just being
• 1:08:23
  there for those moments that matter more, where I think
• 1:08:28
  before I kind of missed a lot of those moments because I was
• 1:08:30
  moving so fast. Yeah.
• 1:08:33
  Well, and I think something too, your kids are going to remember
• 1:08:36
  that you made that shift. That's a great example for them
• 1:08:40
  and for them to remember in their lives as they get older
• 1:08:43
  and they're faced with decisions, they're going to
• 1:08:45
  remember that moment in that time.
• 1:08:47
  Maybe not the way you think, but I can tell you having
• 1:08:52
  experienced something similar in our relationships, when my
• 1:08:55
  husband, it was my husband that decided to make the shift at the
• 1:08:58
  to be more present and be around more.
• 1:09:01
  And it was when our kids were in kind of in that early to mid
• 1:09:05
  elementary age. They remember that they're in
• 1:09:08
  their 20s. My oldest is 30 now.
• 1:09:11
  They remember that that meet an impact that in that it's such a
• 1:09:16
  good thing to see. It's like, you know, you can go
• 1:09:19
  down the road and you can realize it's not working and you
• 1:09:21
  can make a shift and it's OK. And that's a good thing because
• 1:09:25
  you met yourself where you were and you honored yourself in that
• 1:09:29
  and you honored your relationships in that.
• 1:09:31
  And that is every bit is an important lesson for them to and
• 1:09:36
  you lived in your integrity. You didn't just say, hey guys,
• 1:09:40
  I'm going to make these shifts. They saw you do it.
• 1:09:42
  You honored that. And I think that we sometimes
• 1:09:46
  underestimate the impact that piece has of because our kids
• 1:09:51
  are watching us all the time and they're watching to see if our
• 1:09:54
  words and our actions line up earlier than we realized.
• 1:09:58
  So I, I want to, you know, say to you that that was an
• 1:10:02
  important shift and they'll remember that.
• 1:10:05
  So I, I think that we, that's another area.
• 1:10:08
  We don't give our as women, we don't give ourselves the win for
• 1:10:12
  like, no, I didn't have to, but I chose to.
• 1:10:15
  I honored myself, I honored my values, I honored my
• 1:10:19
  relationships. And that was also an important
• 1:10:21
  lesson for those around me that they can do on you.
• 1:10:24
  So, so good on you and and thank you for that.
• 1:10:28
  And I think those lessons are also important.
• 1:10:31
  All right, we're down to the end here to our rapid fire.
• 1:10:35
  Name 5 activities that nourish you alone time.
• 1:10:43
  Cup of coffee I love gives me lots of joy.
• 1:10:46
  Going outside for a daily walk, watching a sunrise, nature fills
• 1:10:53
  me up and then just really being present with someone in like a
• 1:11:00
  small everyday moment. Nothing big grand, but just you
• 1:11:03
  know. Yeah.
• 1:11:05
  Just to be really present and enjoying a regular moment that
• 1:11:09
  that fills me up. Great.
• 1:11:11
  OK. And 5 words on how you want to
• 1:11:14
  feel the next six months. Good question.
• 1:11:19
  I want to feel energized, centered, light, calm and
• 1:11:38
  excited. Well, that's a good one.
• 1:11:42
  All right, Stacy, tell people where they can find you.
• 1:11:45
  You have a book out now. It's been out a little over six
• 1:11:49
  months now, I think. And people can work with you.
• 1:11:52
  You do coaching tactics. Share with people all the ways
• 1:11:55
  that they can find these resources with you.
• 1:11:59
  And this will also be on our website on embracinglayers.com,
• 1:12:02
  on the resources page. But take a moment and share that
• 1:12:05
  with our listeners. Yeah, so you know one if this
• 1:12:09
  connected with you, resonate with you, my book your bounced
• 1:12:12
  in bold life, work less, live more and be your best.
• 1:12:15
  It's available on Amazon, online bookstores.
• 1:12:18
  And then also I just released the audio book of it.
• 1:12:23
  So if you feel like you're too busy or don't have time to sit
• 1:12:25
  down and read a book, you can listen to it.
• 1:12:28
  And so that's a really great resource.
• 1:12:31
  I share stories so you don't feel alone, some good advice and
• 1:12:37
  tips but it's also written away so you can figure out what works
• 1:12:40
  for you because again, we're all different.
• 1:12:43
  And you can also go to my website staceyolson.ca and can
• 1:12:48
  find out more. I do do coaching and do speaking
• 1:12:51
  and team workshops and stuff in this space.
• 1:12:54
  And then too, I'd love to hear from people.
• 1:12:56
  So if you just want to share something you took away from
• 1:12:58
  today or a question on your mind, send me a note on there.
• 1:13:03
  As far as social media, I'm on a few different platforms.
• 1:13:06
  LinkedIn is where I hang out the most and what I prioritize the
• 1:13:09
  most. So OK, you're on to connect with
• 1:13:11
  me there too. OK, great.
• 1:13:14
  Thank you so much for your time today.
• 1:13:15
  This was such a great conversation.
• 1:13:17
  I knew you were going to have so much to offer because you're
• 1:13:20
  really living by these talking points too.
• 1:13:22
  And and this framework, women ask put this framework in your
• 1:13:28
  life. Ask yourself these questions.
• 1:13:31
  Honor yourself in this way. Make the space.
• 1:13:35
  To take care. Of you to know what your values
• 1:13:38
  lie and where you want to give your time so you can show up as
• 1:13:42
  your freshest, the most authentic, full self in all the
• 1:13:46
  spaces you inhabit. And Stacy's talked about that so
• 1:13:49
  beautifully today. And we're all worthy of that.
• 1:13:52
  And we all deserve to live the life that we were authentically
• 1:13:56
  created to live. And it doesn't need to be
• 1:13:58
  exhausted and strung out and irritable and trying to do all
• 1:14:03
  the things all the time that is celebrated in our culture in a
• 1:14:08
  way that is not honoring to our health and Wellness and doesn't
• 1:14:12
  allow us the space to really show up well in all the places
• 1:14:16
  and spaces we inhabit. And so thank you so much for
• 1:14:19
  your work in this space taking. I love how women we are.
• 1:14:23
  We are really good at taking the things we've learned and
• 1:14:27
  applying those lessons and then wanting to share them with other
• 1:14:30
  people. And that is what you've done
• 1:14:33
  here. So thank you for that and the
• 1:14:35
  resources you provide. So appreciative.
• 1:14:38
  It's doing this work together that helps us create a better
• 1:14:42
  way of life for all of us. And so thank you so much for
• 1:14:46
  that and your time today. Well, thank you so much for
• 1:14:49
  having me. It's been a pleasure to be here.
• 1:14:51
  Absolutely. All right, Take good care of
• 1:14:53
  yourself this week, ladies. Utilize these resources.
• 1:14:57
  Check your values, check your calendar.
• 1:14:59
  Are you in alignment? Are you making space for
• 1:15:02
  yourself? Don't make yourself last.
• 1:15:04
  Put yourself first so you can show up the way you want to in
• 1:15:08
  all your spaces. Take great care and have a great
• 1:15:11
  week. Hello, Melissa Crook here.
• 1:15:16
  Thank you so much for joining us on the field podcast today.
• 1:15:21
  Finding empowerment, Embracing Layers.
• 1:15:24
  I hope you found today's framework and resources
• 1:15:27
  supportive and informative. To learn more about all that we
• 1:15:31
  offer here at the Embracing Layers Network, visit
• 1:15:35
  embracinglayers.com. You can go to our contact form
• 1:15:40
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• 1:17:03
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• 1:17:07
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