Latest / Notes to Her / Note 34: Sunday Scaries Reset: When You Feel Yourself Shrinking Again

Transcript

Note 34: Sunday Scaries Reset: When You Feel Yourself Shrinking Again · Notes to Her

• 0:18
  Hey,
• 0:18
  and
• 0:18
  welcome
• 0:18
  back
• 0:18
  to
• 0:18
  Notes
• 0:19
  to
• 0:19
  Her,
• 0:19
  the
• 0:19
  daily
• 0:19
  pep
• 0:20
  talk.
• 0:20
  I'm
• 0:20
  Yaya,
• 0:21
  your
• 0:21
  confidence
• 0:21
  and
• 0:21
  mindset
• 0:22
  coach
• 0:22
  who's
• 0:23
  here
• 0:23
  to
• 0:23
  help
• 0:23
  you
• 0:23
  slow
• 0:23
  down,
• 0:24
  breathe,
• 0:25
  and
• 0:25
  remember
• 0:25
  who
• 0:25
  you
• 0:26
  are
• 0:26
  when
• 0:26
  your
• 0:26
  thoughts
• 0:27
  start
• 0:27
  getting
• 0:27
  loud.
• 0:28
  Now,
• 0:29
  this
• 0:29
  episode
• 0:29
  is
• 0:29
  part
• 0:29
  of
• 0:30
  our
• 0:30
  Sunday
• 0:30
  Scaries
• 0:31
  Reset
• 0:31
  series.
• 0:32
  Because
• 0:32
  Sunday
• 0:32
  has
• 0:33
  a
• 0:33
  way
• 0:33
  of
• 0:33
  sneaking
• 0:33
  up
• 0:33
  on
• 0:34
  you.
• 0:35
  The
• 0:35
  weekends
• 0:35
  give
• 0:36
  us
• 0:36
  space.
• 0:37
  They
• 0:37
  give
• 0:37
  us
• 0:37
  room
• 0:37
  to
• 0:38
  breathe,
• 0:39
  rest,
• 0:39
  laugh,
• 0:40
  reconnect,
• 0:41
  and
• 0:41
  be
• 0:41
  ourselves
• 0:42
  again.
• 0:42
  Maybe
• 0:43
  you
• 0:43
  spend
• 0:43
  time
• 0:43
  with
• 0:44
  friends.
• 0:44
  Maybe
• 0:44
  you
• 0:45
  slept
• 0:45
  in.
• 0:46
  Maybe
• 0:46
  you
• 0:46
  felt
• 0:46
  more
• 0:47
  like
• 0:47
  you.
• 0:48
  And
• 0:48
  then
• 0:48
  Sunday
• 0:49
  rolls
• 0:49
  around
• 0:51
  and
• 0:51
  that
• 0:51
  tight
• 0:51
  feeling
• 0:52
  starts
• 0:52
  creeping
• 0:52
  in.
• 0:53
  The
• 0:53
  anxiousness
• 0:55
  where
• 0:55
  you
• 0:55
  start
• 0:55
  shrinking
• 0:56
  before
• 0:57
  your
• 0:57
  week
• 0:58
  even
• 0:58
  starts.
• 0:59
  And
• 0:59
  it's
• 0:59
  not
• 1:00
  because
• 1:00
  you're
• 1:00
  lazy.
• 1:01
  It's
• 1:01
  not
• 1:01
  because
• 1:02
  you
• 1:02
  hate
• 1:02
  your
• 1:02
  life,
• 1:03
  but
• 1:03
  because
• 1:03
  your
• 1:03
  body
• 1:04
  remembers
• 1:04
  what
• 1:04
  Monday
• 1:05
  requires
• 1:05
  of
• 1:06
  you.
• 1:07
  So
• 1:07
  before
• 1:07
  you
• 1:07
  scroll,
• 1:08
  clean,
• 1:09
  overthink
• 1:09
  one
• 1:10
  more
• 1:10
  time,
• 1:11
  give
• 1:11
  me
• 1:11
  a
• 1:11
  few
• 1:11
  minutes
• 1:12
  of
• 1:12
  your
• 1:12
  time.
• 1:12
  Because
• 1:13
  tonight
• 1:13
  we're
• 1:13
  gonna
• 1:13
  reframe
• 1:14
  what
• 1:15
  shrinking
• 1:15
  actually
• 1:16
  means.
• 1:28
  Now,
• 1:29
  sometimes
• 1:29
  the
• 1:29
  Sunday
• 1:29
  Scaries
• 1:30
  aren't
• 1:30
  about
• 1:30
  workload.
• 1:31
  They're
• 1:32
  about
• 1:32
  who
• 1:32
  you
• 1:33
  have
• 1:33
  to
• 1:33
  deal
• 1:33
  with.
• 1:34
  That
• 1:34
  coworker
• 1:35
  who
• 1:35
  makes
• 1:35
  you
• 1:35
  question
• 1:35
  your
• 1:36
  decisions.
• 1:37
  That
• 1:38
  managers
• 1:38
  whose
• 1:39
  tone
• 1:39
  always
• 1:39
  feels
• 1:40
  sharp.
• 1:40
  That
• 1:41
  environment
• 1:41
  where
• 1:41
  you
• 1:42
  feel
• 1:42
  watched,
• 1:43
  judged,
• 1:43
  or
• 1:43
  dismissed.
• 1:44
  And
• 1:44
  the
• 1:45
  place
• 1:45
  where
• 1:45
  you've
• 1:45
  learned
• 1:46
  it's
• 1:46
  safer
• 1:46
  to
• 1:47
  keep
• 1:47
  quiet.
• 1:48
  So
• 1:48
  before
• 1:48
  the
• 1:49
  week
• 1:49
  even
• 1:49
  starts,
• 1:50
  your
• 1:50
  nervous
• 1:50
  system
• 1:51
  is
• 1:51
  already
• 1:51
  preparing,
• 1:52
  preparing
• 1:53
  to
• 1:53
  be
• 1:54
  seen
• 1:54
  again,
• 1:55
  preparing
• 1:55
  to
• 1:55
  explain
• 1:56
  yourself,
• 1:56
  preparing
• 1:57
  to
• 1:57
  prove
• 1:57
  you
• 1:58
  belong.
• 1:58
  Preparing
• 1:59
  to
• 1:59
  shrink
• 1:59
  so
• 1:59
  that
• 2:00
  you
• 2:00
  don't
• 2:00
  draw
• 2:00
  attention.
• 2:01
  And
• 2:02
  that
• 2:02
  uneasiness
• 2:03
  that
• 2:03
  you
• 2:03
  feel
• 2:03
  on
• 2:03
  Sunday
• 2:04
  night,
• 2:04
  that's
• 2:05
  not
• 2:05
  weakness.
• 2:06
  That's
• 2:06
  your
• 2:06
  body
• 2:06
  remembering
• 2:07
  where
• 2:07
  it
• 2:08
  doesn't
• 2:08
  feel
• 2:09
  fully
• 2:09
  safe.
• 2:11
  Shrinking
• 2:11
  is
• 2:12
  not
• 2:12
  failure.
• 2:13
  It's
• 2:13
  a
• 2:13
  response.
• 2:14
  But
• 2:14
  confidence
• 2:15
  doesn't
• 2:15
  disappear
• 2:16
  just
• 2:16
  because
• 2:16
  the
• 2:16
  fear
• 2:17
  shows
• 2:17
  up.
• 2:18
  When
• 2:18
  a
• 2:18
  space
• 2:19
  feels
• 2:19
  intimidating,
• 2:20
  when
• 2:20
  a
• 2:20
  person
• 2:21
  feels
• 2:21
  unpredictable,
• 2:22
  and
• 2:23
  when
• 2:23
  past
• 2:23
  experiences
• 2:24
  have
• 2:24
  taught
• 2:24
  you
• 2:25
  that
• 2:25
  speaking
• 2:25
  up
• 2:26
  led
• 2:26
  to
• 2:26
  discomfort,
• 2:27
  your
• 2:27
  system
• 2:28
  adapts.
• 2:29
  So
• 2:29
  you
• 2:29
  shrink
• 2:29
  to
• 2:30
  protect
• 2:30
  yourself.
• 2:31
  You
• 2:31
  stay
• 2:31
  quiet
• 2:31
  to
• 2:32
  avoid
• 2:32
  conflict.
• 2:33
  You
• 2:33
  second
• 2:33
  guess
• 2:34
  to
• 2:34
  avoid
• 2:34
  criticism.
• 2:35
  And
• 2:36
  that
• 2:36
  doesn't
• 2:36
  mean
• 2:36
  that
• 2:36
  you're
• 2:37
  aggressive.
• 2:37
  It
• 2:37
  just
• 2:37
  means
• 2:38
  that
• 2:38
  you're
• 2:38
  human.
• 2:39
  But
• 2:40
  here's
• 2:40
  the
• 2:40
  part
• 2:40
  that
• 2:40
  we
• 2:40
  have
• 2:41
  to
• 2:41
  shift.
• 2:42
  Just
• 2:42
  because
• 2:42
  shrinking
• 2:43
  once
• 2:43
  kept
• 2:43
  you
• 2:43
  safe,
• 2:44
  it
• 2:44
  doesn't
• 2:45
  mean
• 2:45
  that
• 2:45
  it
• 2:45
  still
• 2:45
  serves
• 2:46
  you.
• 2:47
  So
• 2:47
  before
• 2:47
  we
• 2:47
  reframe
• 2:48
  this,
• 2:48
  before
• 2:48
  we
• 2:49
  talk
• 2:49
  about
• 2:49
  expansion,
• 2:50
  we
• 2:50
  need
• 2:50
  to
• 2:51
  calm
• 2:51
  the
• 2:51
  part
• 2:51
  of
• 2:51
  you
• 2:52
  that's
• 2:52
  already
• 2:52
  bracing
• 2:53
  for
• 2:53
  impact.
• 2:54
  Let's
• 2:55
  pause
• 2:55
  together
• 2:55
  for
• 2:56
  a
• 2:56
  moment.
• 2:57
  Wherever
• 2:57
  you
• 2:58
  are,
• 2:58
  stop
• 2:58
  what
• 2:58
  you're
• 2:59
  doing.
• 2:59
  If
• 2:59
  you
• 2:59
  can,
• 3:00
  take
• 3:01
  a
• 3:01
  deep
• 3:01
  breath
• 3:01
  in
• 3:01
  through
• 3:02
  your
• 3:02
  nose
• 3:03
  and
• 3:03
  hold
• 3:03
  it
• 3:03
  for
• 3:03
  a
• 3:04
  beat.
• 3:06
  And
• 3:06
  let
• 3:06
  it
• 3:06
  out
• 3:07
  slowly
• 3:07
  through
• 3:07
  your
• 3:08
  mouth.
• 3:10
  Again,
• 3:12
  slower
• 3:12
  this
• 3:12
  time.
• 3:16
  Let
• 3:16
  your
• 3:17
  shoulders
• 3:17
  drop.
• 3:19
  Unclench
• 3:19
  your
• 3:20
  jaw.
• 3:21
  Relax
• 3:21
  your
• 3:22
  hands.
• 3:24
  Now
• 3:24
  remind
• 3:25
  yourself
• 3:25
  quietly,
• 3:26
  I
• 3:26
  am
• 3:26
  here.
• 3:27
  I
• 3:28
  am
• 3:28
  safe.
• 3:29
  I
• 3:29
  am
• 3:29
  allowed
• 3:30
  to
• 3:30
  take
• 3:30
  up
• 3:30
  space.
• 3:32
  You
• 3:33
  are
• 3:33
  not
• 3:33
  behind.
• 3:34
  You
• 3:35
  are
• 3:35
  not
• 3:35
  in
• 3:35
  trouble.
• 3:37
  You're
• 3:37
  just
• 3:37
  anticipating.
• 3:38
  And
• 3:39
  anticipation
• 3:40
  does
• 3:40
  not
• 3:40
  get
• 3:41
  to
• 3:41
  run
• 3:41
  the
• 3:41
  week.
• 3:44
  Now
• 3:44
  here's
• 3:44
  what's
• 3:44
  important
• 3:45
  for
• 3:45
  you
• 3:45
  to
• 3:45
  understand.
• 3:46
  When
• 3:46
  you
• 3:47
  feel
• 3:47
  yourself
• 3:47
  shrinking
• 3:48
  on
• 3:48
  Sundays,
• 3:48
  it
• 3:49
  doesn't
• 3:49
  mean
• 3:49
  that
• 3:49
  you're
• 3:49
  losing
• 3:50
  confidence.
• 3:51
  It
• 3:52
  means
• 3:52
  something
• 3:52
  in
• 3:52
  your
• 3:53
  environment
• 3:53
  is
• 3:54
  asking
• 3:54
  more
• 3:54
  of
• 3:55
  you.
• 3:55
  Shrinking
• 3:56
  is
• 3:56
  often
• 3:57
  expansion,
• 3:58
  knocking
• 3:59
  gently
• 3:59
  or
• 3:59
  loudly,
• 4:00
  saying,
• 4:01
  there's
• 4:01
  more
• 4:01
  here.
• 4:02
  There's
• 4:03
  something
• 4:03
  you've
• 4:03
  outgrown.
• 4:04
  There's
• 4:05
  a
• 4:05
  version
• 4:05
  of
• 4:05
  you
• 4:05
  that
• 4:05
  wants
• 4:06
  to
• 4:06
  respond
• 4:06
  differently.
• 4:08
  And
• 4:08
  instead
• 4:09
  of
• 4:09
  judging
• 4:09
  yourself,
• 4:10
  ask,
• 4:11
  what
• 4:11
  am
• 4:11
  I
• 4:12
  anticipating?
• 4:13
  What
• 4:14
  part
• 4:14
  of
• 4:14
  me
• 4:14
  feels
• 4:15
  threatened?
• 4:16
  What
• 4:16
  boundary
• 4:17
  or
• 4:17
  courage
• 4:17
  might
• 4:18
  this
• 4:18
  moment
• 4:18
  be
• 4:19
  asking
• 4:19
  for?
• 4:20
  You
• 4:20
  don't
• 4:20
  need
• 4:21
  to
• 4:21
  fix
• 4:21
  everything
• 4:21
  this
• 4:22
  week.
• 4:22
  Sometimes
• 4:22
  that's
• 4:22
  not
• 4:22
  even
• 4:23
  possible.
• 4:23
  But
• 4:24
  you
• 4:24
  just
• 4:24
  need
• 4:24
  to
• 4:24
  notice
• 4:25
  where
• 4:25
  you're
• 4:25
  being
• 4:26
  invited
• 4:26
  to
• 4:26
  show
• 4:27
  up
• 4:27
  a
• 4:27
  little
• 4:27
  bit
• 4:27
  more.
• 4:28
  Honestly.
• 4:31
  Now,
• 4:31
  if
• 4:31
  this
• 4:31
  note
• 4:31
  hits
• 4:32
  you,
• 4:32
  it's
• 4:33
  because
• 4:33
  your
• 4:33
  confidence
• 4:33
  is
• 4:34
  not
• 4:34
  broken.
• 4:35
  It's
• 4:35
  building.
• 4:36
  And
• 4:37
  when
• 4:37
  you're
• 4:37
  in
• 4:37
  a
• 4:37
  season
• 4:38
  where
• 4:38
  you're
• 4:38
  becoming
• 4:39
  more
• 4:39
  visible,
• 4:40
  more
• 4:40
  honest,
• 4:42
  more
• 4:42
  bold,
• 4:43
  you
• 4:43
  need
• 4:44
  tools
• 4:44
  that
• 4:44
  ground
• 4:45
  you
• 4:45
  instead
• 4:45
  of
• 4:45
  overwhelm
• 4:46
  you.
• 4:47
  And
• 4:47
  that's
• 4:48
  exactly
• 4:48
  why
• 4:48
  I
• 4:48
  created
• 4:49
  the
• 4:49
  Confidence
• 4:49
  Kit.
• 4:50
  It's
• 4:50
  designed
• 4:51
  for
• 4:51
  moments
• 4:51
  like
• 4:51
  this.
• 4:52
  Moments
• 4:53
  when
• 4:53
  your
• 4:53
  mind
• 4:54
  starts
• 4:54
  spiraling
• 4:55
  on
• 4:55
  a
• 4:55
  Sunday
• 4:56
  night,
• 4:57
  when
• 4:57
  your
• 4:57
  body
• 4:57
  remembers
• 4:58
  past
• 4:58
  discomfort,
• 5:00
  when
• 5:00
  you
• 5:00
  feel
• 5:01
  yourself
• 5:01
  shrinking
• 5:02
  and
• 5:02
  you
• 5:02
  don't
• 5:02
  know
• 5:02
  how
• 5:03
  to
• 5:03
  interrupt
• 5:03
  it.
• 5:04
  Inside
• 5:05
  the
• 5:05
  Confidence
• 5:05
  Kit,
• 5:06
  you
• 5:06
  will
• 5:06
  find
• 5:06
  grounding
• 5:07
  exercises
• 5:07
  that
• 5:08
  calm
• 5:08
  your
• 5:08
  nervous
• 5:09
  system.
• 5:10
  Self
• 5:10
  talk
• 5:10
  recess
• 5:11
  for
• 5:11
  when
• 5:11
  that
• 5:11
  inner
• 5:12
  mean
• 5:12
  girl
• 5:12
  gets
• 5:13
  loud.
• 5:14
  Confidence
• 5:14
  anchors
• 5:15
  that
• 5:15
  you
• 5:15
  can
• 5:15
  use
• 5:16
  in
• 5:16
  real
• 5:16
  time,
• 5:17
  and
• 5:17
  tools
• 5:18
  to
• 5:18
  stop
• 5:18
  shrinking
• 5:19
  and
• 5:19
  come
• 5:20
  back
• 5:20
  to
• 5:20
  yourself.
• 5:21
  This
• 5:21
  isn't
• 5:22
  about
• 5:22
  pushing
• 5:22
  through
• 5:22
  anxiety,
• 5:23
  but
• 5:23
  it's
• 5:24
  about
• 5:24
  giving
• 5:24
  yourself
• 5:25
  something
• 5:25
  solid
• 5:25
  to
• 5:26
  come
• 5:26
  back
• 5:26
  to.
• 5:28
  So
• 5:28
  if
• 5:28
  tonight
• 5:28
  feels
• 5:29
  heavy,
• 5:29
  this
• 5:30
  is
• 5:30
  your
• 5:30
  support
• 5:30
  system.
• 5:32
  Grab
• 5:32
  the
• 5:32
  Confidence
• 5:33
  Kit.
• 5:33
  The
• 5:33
  link
• 5:34
  will
• 5:34
  be
• 5:34
  in
• 5:34
  my
• 5:34
  show
• 5:34
  notes,
• 5:35
  and
• 5:36
  if
• 5:36
  this
• 5:36
  helped
• 5:36
  you
• 5:36
  out
• 5:37
  even
• 5:37
  a
• 5:37
  little
• 5:37
  bit,
• 5:38
  please
• 5:38
  share
• 5:38
  this
• 5:39
  with
• 5:39
  a
• 5:39
  friend
• 5:39
  who
• 5:39
  feels
• 5:40
  herself
• 5:40
  shrinking
• 5:40
  on
• 5:40
  Sunday
• 5:41
  nights
• 5:41
  too.
• 5:41
  Because
• 5:42
  you
• 5:42
  are
• 5:42
  not
• 5:42
  alone,
• 5:43
  you're
• 5:44
  also
• 5:44
  not
• 5:44
  behind.
• 5:45
  You're
• 5:46
  becoming.
• 5:54
  Sa.