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Can’t Explain How You Feel? Learn the Language of Your Emotions | Let’s Get Emotional · Let's Get Emotional

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Let's Get Emotional.
• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Tatiana Rojas, and these mini episodes are a little different because it's just me today.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: Taking a few minutes to talk through some of the ways emotions show up in everyday life.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: Have you ever had someone ask you what's wrong?
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: And you know something is wrong, but you have absolutely no idea how to explain it.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: You say, I don't know, or I'm just stressed.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: You might go with, I'm fine, even though you know that's not really the whole answer.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe you start trying to explain what's happening, and somehow the words coming out of your mouth don't quite match what's happening inside of you.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: That can be frustrating, especially when you feel like you should know what you're feeling and how to express it.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: But understanding what is happening internally and being able to put it into words are not always the same thing.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: At times you notice the reaction first.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: You might notice that you're quieter than usual.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: You realize that you don't really want to talk to anyone, you feel irritated by something that normally wouldn't bother you.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: Or you find yourself replaying a conversation in your head.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: You just know that something feels off.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: And then someone asks you, What's going on?
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: That's usually when we expect ourselves to suddenly have an organized explanation.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: I feel this because this happened and this is what I need.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: But most of us don't work that way.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: There can be a gap between having a reaction and understanding the reaction.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: Think about something as basic as having a long day at work.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: You get home and someone asks you a basic question.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing particularly upsetting.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: They ask what you want for dinner, and suddenly you're irritated.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: You might even hear yourself answering with more attitude than you intended.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: In the moment you may think, why am I so annoyed?
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: They didn't even do anything.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: Later, you realize you spent the entire day making decisions, answering questions, solving problems, responding to messages, and trying to keep up.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: The dinner question wasn't necessarily the problem.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: It arrived likely when you had very little left to give.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: But you may not have known that in the moment.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's probably really important because we can be pretty hard on ourselves when we don't immediately understand what we're feeling.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: We tell ourselves things like, why am I acting like this?
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: Why is this bothering me so much?
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: I don't even know what's wrong with me.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: But what if we changed the expectation just a little?
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of expecting ourselves to immediately understand everything happening internally, what if we allowed ourselves to recognize that understanding can come later?
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: Hear me out.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: At first, all you may know is something is happening here.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: That alone is information.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to make sense of it in the moment, and you don't have to come up with a specific word just because someone asked how you feel.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not sure yet can be an accurate answer.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: There are also times when we do know what we're feeling, but explaining it to someone else feels harder.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: You may be worried that they don't or they won't understand.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: You may not want to turn it into a bigger conversation.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: You could still be trying to figure out how much of what you're feeling belongs to the current situation and how much connects to everything else going on.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: And after spending the day moving from one thing to the next, you may not have had the chance to notice what was happening internally until someone asked.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: That's part of why emotional language can feel harder than we expect it to.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: We use words all day long, we communicate all day long, but talking about what is happening inside of us is its own kind of communication.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: And like anything else, it can take practice.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: It's not about always knowing exactly what to say, it's about becoming more comfortable giving yourself time to understand what's happening.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's noticing when something has shifted, and it's giving yourself enough space to figure out what you're trying to say.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: So before we wrap up, I want to give you a few minutes to reflect on how this might show up for you.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: If you're driving, keep your attention on the road and listen along.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're somewhere you can settle in, get comfortable, and give yourself a moment to focus.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna run through a guided reflection.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: So if it feels comfortable, take a slow breath in and gently let it out.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: Give yourself a moment to settle into where you are and take another slow breath.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: And as you breathe out, allow your shoulders to relax.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: And now think about a recent moment when you knew that you were having some kind of reaction, but you weren't completely sure what was going on.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing overwhelming to think of an ordinary moment.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: Pulled away from the conversation or noticed yourself getting quieter.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: It could also be a moment that stayed on your mind longer than you expected.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: Bring that situation to mind.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: And instead of asking yourself, what was I feeling?
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: Start with what did I notice?
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: Think about what stood out.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: Your energy may have changed.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: You may have wanted to end the conversation or notice your thoughts moving faster.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: Something the other person said may have bothered you more than expected.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: Or you knew you didn't feel quite like yourself.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: For now, notice what you remember about that moment and take a slow breath.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: Now ask yourself, what do I understand about that moment now that I didn't understand why I was in it?
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: Give yourself space for whatever comes up.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: And if nothing comes up, you can leave the question there.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: Understanding can take time.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: And now consider one final question.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: If someone had asked me what I was feeling in that moment, what would I have needed permission to say?
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: Is it I don't know yet?
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: I need a minute.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: Could you have said there's a lot going on?
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: Or I know something is bothering me, but I'm still figuring it out.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: Or could there may even be completely different words that fit your experience.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: And as you breathe out, remind yourself that you do not have to understand every reaction while you're in the middle of it.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: You may notice something first and understand it later.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: The words can come after you've had time to make sense of what happened, and that's okay.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: If this reflection brought up the thought, I wish I understood this part of myself better, that's also part of why I created the Let's Get Emotional, Emotional Fluency, Learning the Language of Feelings course.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: In this course, we spend more time exploring how emotions show up, how to better understand your own emotional experiences, and how to put what you're experiencing into words.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: These mini episodes give you a place to pause and think about some of these ideas.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: The course gives you more space to explore them and work through them at your own pace.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: Let's get emotional.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: The emotional fluency learning the language of feelings will launch in September through Own Your Bloom.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: If you want to keep up with the course and what I'm creating there, you can follow Own Your Bloom on Instagram and TikTok.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'll be sharing more about the course as we get closer to launch.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time, if you're not sure what you're feeling, that's okay.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: Give yourself some time to make sense of it.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: You can figure it out the rest as you go.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: Have a wonderful day.