Latest / Breaking Absurdity — Today's Top Headlines That Can't Be Unheard. Brought to you by @ItsNotSatire. / Trump Golfs in Ireland and Sends JD Vance to 9:11 | Breaking Absurdity Ep 36

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Trump Golfs in Ireland and Sends JD Vance to 9:11 | Breaking Absurdity Ep 36 · Breaking Absurdity — Today's Top Headlines That Can't Be Unheard. Brought to you by @ItsNotSatire.

• 0:00
  President Trump backtracked on his future plans
• 0:02
  for Air Force One, declining to definitely donate
• 0:04
  the new Air Force One to his presidential museum.
• 0:08
  Now it's only probably going there, just like
• 0:10
  he was probably never that close to Jeffrey Epstein.
• 0:13
  And while engineers work to max out Air Force
• 0:16
  One security, they're apparently still stumped
• 0:18
  by one of Trump's greatest engineering challenges,
• 0:21
  designing an umbrella he can actually close.
• 0:23
  We have the clip. Trump is also taking that controversial
• 0:26
  Qatari 747 on its next international trip next
• 0:29
  week, where he'll attend a golf tournament at
• 0:31
  his own golf course. Which overlaps with the
• 0:34
  September 11th memorial in New York, Trump has
• 0:36
  decided to skip the 25th anniversary memorial
• 0:39
  for his golf weekend, reportedly because he won't
• 0:41
  be allowed to speak. He initially agreed with
• 0:44
  that explanation, then denied it 24 hours later.
• 0:47
  But either way, he's chosen to spend that week
• 0:49
  in Texas and then head to Ireland for a golf
• 0:51
  tournament rather than attend the 9 -11 Memorial.
• 0:54
  We've got that story, and the Trump -Vance exchange.
• 0:57
  And while Trump is apparently prioritizing golf
• 0:59
  over a 9 -11 Memorial, his administration is
• 1:01
  prioritizing something else in Washington. The
• 1:04
  arc to Trump. Construction on the 250 -foot -tall
• 1:07
  arch is set to begin in just two weeks, despite
• 1:09
  Vietnam veterans suing to stop it. We'll get
• 1:12
  into that. And finally, Melania Watch. She's
• 1:15
  been missing from public view for 13 days, and
• 1:18
  now she's declined to attend next week's Republican
• 1:20
  midterm convention. So no sign of Melania there
• 1:23
  either. We've got all of it. The clips, the contradictions,
• 1:27
  the golf, the umbrella, and apparently an arch.
• 1:30
  It's time for Breaking Absurdity. Everything
• 1:34
  you didn't know you needed to know today, but
• 1:36
  wish you hadn't. Ads help keep the lights on
• 1:39
  here at It's Not Satire. But if ads give you
• 1:41
  the ick, let me help you with that. If you want
• 1:43
  all the absurdity without the ads, subscribe
• 1:45
  to my sub stack and look for the ad -free podcast
• 1:48
  option. The link is in the show notes. Now let's
• 1:50
  get into the absurdity. Let's kick off with Air
• 1:54
  Force One, because Donald Trump's plans for what
• 1:57
  happens to Air Force One are not as concrete
• 1:59
  as he once said. Today at the White House, Trump
• 2:02
  was asked about his plans to donate the new Air
• 2:04
  Force One to his presidential museum. And previously,
• 2:07
  he was pretty definitive about it. He said he
• 2:09
  would definitely donate it. But now, not so much.
• 2:27
  So we've gone from definitely to probably, which
• 2:30
  is quite a downgrade when you're talking about
• 2:32
  a plane that costs billions of dollars, and it
• 2:34
  does raise an interesting question. If it's not
• 2:36
  going to the museum, then where is it going?
• 2:39
  Because Qatar gave the plane to the US government,
• 2:41
  and Trump's whole argument for accepting it was
• 2:43
  that he would eventually donate it to his presidential
• 2:45
  museum, supposedly avoiding the emoluments clause.
• 2:49
  That's the constitutional provision designed
• 2:51
  to prevent federal officials from being influenced
• 2:53
  by gifts or benefits from foreign governments.
• 2:56
  So if the jet isn't going to the museum, Trump's
• 2:58
  entire premise for accepting it starts to fall
• 3:01
  apart. And that's before you even get to the
• 3:03
  question of whether Trump has the power to donate
• 3:05
  it to his museum in the first place. Because
• 3:07
  it's actually not Trump 747 to donate. It belongs
• 3:11
  to the US government. So this whole thing's on
• 3:14
  pretty shaky ground, whichever way you look at
• 3:16
  it. Although given some of the other things we've
• 3:18
  seen from Trump lately, perhaps the real question
• 3:21
  is whether he'll still be able to fly on it.
• 3:24
  Because while engineers are working to max out
• 3:26
  Air Force One security, they're apparently still
• 3:29
  stumped by one of Trump's greatest engineering
• 3:30
  challenges, an umbrella he can close. I don't
• 3:34
  know what the engineering solution is here. I
• 3:36
  mean, to be honest, it looks like he's not even
• 3:38
  trying to close it properly. He just spins it
• 3:41
  around and drops it. I think it's back to the
• 3:43
  drawing board for the engineers. They're going
• 3:45
  to have to design one that's Trump -proof. Good
• 3:48
  luck. Anyway, Air Force One is getting another
• 3:51
  outing next week, and this time Trump is taking
• 3:54
  the controversial Qatari 747 on its first international
• 3:57
  trip. The destination is Ireland, and Trump isn't
• 4:01
  exactly going there for a diplomatic summit.
• 4:03
  He's going to attend a golf tournament at his
• 4:06
  own golf course, which is quite a trip for an
• 4:08
  international plane that has already generated
• 4:11
  approximately 47 different ethical and constitutional
• 4:14
  questions. But the timing of the trip is particularly
• 4:17
  interesting because Trump's golf weekend overlaps
• 4:19
  with the 25th anniversary of September 11th,
• 4:22
  and Trump has decided not to attend the Memorial
• 4:25
  in New York. The explanation initially given
• 4:27
  was that he wouldn't be allowed to speak. And,
• 4:30
  at least initially, the White House agreed with
• 4:32
  that explanation. Then, about 24 hours later,
• 4:35
  the White House denied that was the reason. We
• 4:56
  approached the White House. We got a benign comment,
• 5:00
  and we did not get any pushback. And then 24
• 5:02
  hours later, the president very angrily denied
• 5:04
  it, so did his communications director. People
• 5:07
  can decide what they think about a denial that
• 5:08
  comes 24 hours later. Part of the reason he's
• 5:11
  going to the Pentagon now—and there are, I believe,
• 5:15
  legitimate security concerns related to him.
• 5:18
  There's no question. I don't know that there's
• 5:19
  actually a specific issue right now. One reason
• 5:22
  he's leaving from Washington is because it is
• 5:24
  easier for him to get to his golf course in Ireland,
• 5:27
  in Dunbay, and he is going to see some tournament
• 5:32
  there right after his... political convention,
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  9 -11 falls in the middle. So we're now at the
• 5:37
  point where even the explanation for why Trump
• 5:39
  isn't going to September 11th has its own revision
• 5:42
  history. And according to Maggie Haberman, there
• 5:45
  is a practical consideration here, too. Trump
• 5:47
  can apparently get to Ireland more easily from
• 5:50
  Washington than from New York, which is probably
• 5:52
  useful information if you're trying to decide
• 5:54
  between attending the 25th anniversary of September
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  11th and playing golf at your own golf course,
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  because apparently the logistical nightmare wasn't
• 6:02
  getting to Ireland. was getting in New York.
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  All four living presidents are expected to attend
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  the 25th anniversary memorial. Trump isn't going.
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  He's sending JD Vance instead. And JD Vance has
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  already said he's looking forward to talking
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  with Joe Biden. When are you going to New York
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  on 9 -11 and say that the President is, because
• 6:21
  it's the 25th anniversary, is there some special
• 6:23
  security concern? We know the President's been
• 6:25
  a target before. No, I don't think it's a special
• 6:27
  security concern. Though, actually, I will follow
• 6:30
  up with Secret Service just to get you an actual
• 6:32
  answer on that. But that's not what I've heard.
• 6:33
  I mean, you know, you have a vice president,
• 6:35
  you have a president, and there are two very,
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  frankly, we'd like to be three or four places
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  on 9 -11, but you can't have one person be in
• 6:43
  multiple locations at the exact same time. And
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  so we just decided as a a team that I would go
• 6:47
  to New York for 9 -11. The President would stay
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  here in D .C., of course, to commemorate what
• 6:51
  happened at the Pentagon, because that was a
• 6:52
  critical part of the tragedy of 9 -11 as well.
• 6:55
  I'm also, as you guys can probably guess, I'm
• 6:57
  really looking forward to hanging out with Joe
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  Biden. I'm sure that we'll have many, many intense
• 7:02
  intellectual conversations. And, you know, it'll
• 7:06
  be great. We'll have a great time with Joe Biden
• 7:08
  and the other Presidents. Go ahead. Which should
• 7:11
  be an interesting conversation because there's
• 7:13
  really no awkwardness like two politicians meeting
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  after one of them spent months saying the other
• 7:18
  destroyed America. But I'm sure they'll find
• 7:20
  something to talk about, maybe the weather, maybe
• 7:23
  golf, maybe the increasingly complicated question
• 7:26
  of who exactly is allowed to speak at September
• 7:29
  11th memorials. And while Trump is apparently
• 7:31
  prioritizing golf over a 9 -11 memorial, his
• 7:34
  administration is prioritizing something else
• 7:36
  in Washington, the arc to Trump. Yes, construction
• 7:40
  on the proposed 250 foot tall arch is set to
• 7:43
  begin in just two weeks because apparently Washington
• 7:46
  needed another giant monument and this one is
• 7:49
  being built despite Vietnam veterans suing to
• 7:51
  stop it. There's something almost beautifully
• 7:53
  Trumpian about the whole thing, a giant arch
• 7:55
  250 feet tall in Washington with Trump names
• 7:58
  attached to it because when you look around America's
• 8:01
  capital and think, you know what's missing? Apparently
• 8:03
  the answer is more Trump. And this isn't even
• 8:06
  the first time Trump's administration has decided
• 8:08
  that the nation's capital could use a little
• 8:11
  more rebranding. At this point, I'm starting
• 8:13
  to wonder whether Washington is becoming one
• 8:15
  enormous presidential gift shop. And that brings
• 8:18
  us to Melania Watch. Melania has not been out
• 8:21
  of public view for 13 days, and she's also declined
• 8:24
  to attend next week's Republican midterm convention.
• 8:27
  So if you're keeping score at home, no Melania
• 8:29
  at the convention, no Melania in public for nearly
• 8:32
  two weeks, and no Melania apparently rushing
• 8:35
  to Washington to explain any of it, which is
• 8:37
  probably why we're calling this Melania Watch
• 8:39
  rather than Melania News. There just isn't enough
• 8:42
  Melania to qualify as news. At this point, the
• 8:45
  most reliable way to find Melania may be to wait
• 8:48
  for Trump to mention her in one of his speeches.
• 8:51
  He's been known to talk about how he's been unpresidential
• 8:53
  when he dances to the gay national anthem. Perhaps
• 8:56
  this is his new technique for summoning Melania,
• 8:59
  just to annoy her until she can't take it anymore.
• 9:02
  And finally, some Australian absurdity, because
• 9:04
  apparently we weren't going to let America have
• 9:06
  all the fun. A convicted murderer in Victoria
• 9:09
  has launched a legal battle against the state
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  over the banning of Vegemite in prison. Yes,
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  Vegemite, the beloved Australian yeast spread.
• 9:18
  His argument is that banning Vegemite violates
• 9:20
  his cultural rights as an Australian. And honestly,
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  if you're going to make a cultural rights argument
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  in Australia, Vegemite is probably one of the
• 9:27
  few products where everyone immediately understands
• 9:29
  the seriousness of the issue. There's just one
• 9:31
  problem. The prison authorities weren't banning
• 9:33
  Vegemite because they decided Australian culture
• 9:35
  was no longer welcome behind bars. Apparently
• 9:38
  inmates had discovered some alternative uses
• 9:40
  for it. They were using Vegemite to help brew
• 9:43
  illegal alcohol, known as Pruno, and smearing
• 9:46
  it on contraband to throw off the detection dogs.
• 9:49
  Which means Australian prisons have apparently
• 9:51
  been forced to confront a terrifying possibility
• 9:54
  that the humble jar Vegemite isn't just a breakfast
• 9:57
  spread, it's a potential prison moonshine ingredient
• 10:00
  and tactical counter detection device. And honestly,
• 10:03
  that's probably the most Australian sentence
• 10:05
  I've ever had to say. So the inmates wanted Vegemite,
• 10:08
  the prisons wanted fewer homemade alcohol operations,
• 10:11
  and somewhere in Victoria, a lawyer is arguing
• 10:13
  that this is fundamentally a question of Australian
• 10:16
  cultural rights. I don't know how this case ends,
• 10:19
  but if Vegemite wins, I assume this sentence
• 10:21
  will be spread evenly. And there you have it.
• 10:25
  Another day of breaking absurdity, your daily
• 10:28
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